Torn
Page 73

“That’s it,” a deep, rough voice said. “Feed.”
I inhaled again without thinking.
Nails dug through my thin dress, pulling and tearing at the cloth. There was a sound, a pitiful whimper, but I was alive and my skin was tingling with electricity. I had no idea how much time had passed, but I slowly became aware of the woman no longer clutching my arms. She was on her back, and I was leaning over her. Then I wasn’t on the cot. I was on my feet, and the prince was beside me, his mouth on my throat and his hand in my hair, but I didn’t understand a single thing he said. Then we were moving—walking.
When I stumbled out of the room, my gaze collided with someone I knew. Someone who had been kind to me. Faye. Maybe it wasn’t her. I wasn’t sure. I couldn’t focus on her. Not when the walls were shaking and the floor was rippling.
Then I wasn’t walking anymore. I was floating, and I was surrounded by warmth as cool air washed over my tingling, sparking skin. I moved restlessly and I didn’t move at all. I wasn’t here. No. I was nowhere near here. It was like being blanketed in clouds. Maybe that’s where I was. Up in the sky where nothing could ever harm me.
Sensation burned my skin, jolting me out of my daze. I blinked slowly, recognizing the ceiling. The bedroom. I wasn’t in the clouds. I was on the bed. The burn on my leg was a hand, and the heaviness settling over part of my body wasn’t comforting.
I looked up.
Hair as dark as a raven’s wing. Not russet-colored. Not warm. Those eyes weren’t green. They were pale blue ice. My heart sped up again, and this godawful feeling in the pit of my stomach spread. This couldn’t happen. I didn’t want this. I never wanted this.
“No.” The word was weak, a whisper. I cleared my throat. “No,” I said louder.
He stilled, and I saw pieces of his chest and stomach. His shirt was undone. My stomach churned. He can make you do anything. I squeezed my eyes shut.
“You want—”
“No.” The word scalded my tongue, and it felt like I was fighting quicksand. It took everything to force the words out. “No. I don’t want this. I don’t want you. No.”
For a moment, I thought he would continue, that he would keep speaking and force my eyes open. That I would fall under that spell again, and even though I had a hard time remembering why it was bad, I knew it was terrible. It was evil. It was something I wanted no part of.
The prince grunted in exasperation. “Soon.” He lifted himself up, but I could still feel his weight, and I thought I might be sick. I no longer saw rainbows. “Soon you will say yes,” he said. “There is no other option.”
Chapter Twenty-Six
I slept for what felt like forever.
I didn’t remember the prince leaving the bedroom or the door closing behind him before I fell asleep, but the sun had set and rose before I woke up. I was a little disoriented upon waking, only because I wasn’t sure of how much time had passed, but I sat up and I was full . . . of energy. Like I’d received the deepest, most rejuvenating sleep possible. It wasn’t an abnormal level, like I’d done speed or anything, but I felt good and I . . .
And I remembered everything.
I fed on a human yesterday.
I jolted forward and winced as the heavy chain dragged over my still-sensitive skin. I realized that I wasn’t chained to the bed, but I didn’t move. I sat frozen, realizing something else. My dress was torn, the material pooling around my elbows. Scratches marred my upper arms. The woman—she had done that, because of what I had done to her.
“Oh God.” I leaped from the bed.
Dragging the chain behind me, I raced into the bathroom and dropped to my knees. Seconds later, everything that I’d eaten in the last day came back up. When I was done, my sides ached. I sat back, holding the top of the gown to my chest and supporting my weight with my other hand. Cold sweat dotted my forehead.
Oh God, I had hurt that woman. I’d taken from her what was not mine to take. I didn’t even know if she was okay or if I had taken too much. Feedings could kill humans.
I hadn’t known I was capable of feeding like a fae.
My fingers curled around the top of my dress as I stared blankly at the tile floor. I didn’t know who I was anymore. My breath caught in my chest. I’d forgotten how easy it was to fall under a fae’s control. It had happened to me before, when I was younger, but I’d truly forgotten how easily it could happen.
One look and I’d been under the prince’s control.
I’d been in complete control of myself, and a second later I hadn’t been, and I’d done something that went against everything I believed in.
That poor woman.
I knew I hadn’t willingly fed on her, but that didn’t lessen any of the guilt festering deep inside me, and that guilt quickly grew, because it wasn’t just a consequence of what I’d done to that woman. My stomach churned again.
I couldn’t remember the details of what had happened between the prince and me. After I . . . I’d fed, it was like I’d been detached from my body, gone someplace else. It was like being slipped a roofie, but I was somewhat lucky, because he had stopped. I remembered that, but it didn’t make me feel any real sense of relief.
An oily feeling settled over me, blanketing my entire body. I felt heavy, weighed down, and my skin, the bones and muscles, didn’t feel like my own. And they hadn’t been my own yesterday. I had no control. I knew that. My brain told me over and over that what happened yesterday with that poor woman wasn’t my fault. I’d been under a manipulation, a compulsion, and I hadn’t given Drake permission to touch me, to do anything with me. It wasn’t my fault, but I still wanted to flay layers of my skin off. I wanted to strip off the dress and burn it, along with the bed and this entire house.