That's why he's famous. It's not the body or face, it's the emotion. The emotion I make them feel.
I want to touch her right now but I hold back with Elise as Antoine starts shooting. The noise of the shutter snaps her out of her daze and I expect her to say something.
Anything—like Am I doing it right? Is this what you want?
But she says nothing. Antoine whispers to her, giving her small directions. She tilts her head when he asks, letting the light from the window fall across her face. It's late afternoon now, so the light is low and hazy. It bounces off her raven hair and her head turns in just the right way to catch some dying rays of sun, making her eyes sparkle. And that's how she's burned into my mind. The blackness of her hair, contrasting with the gray light behind her, and her bright blue eyes.
She catches me staring and I hold my breath. But neither of us turns away. We stare, unabashed, until Antoine's direction pulls her back into the shoot and she's lost again—guarded and unhappy, frowning and resigned. She's a blackbird sitting in a tree staring out at the world, daring the wind to come and knock her off the swaying bough.
She is wrecked, Elise is right. But she's not down yet. The look on her face is defiant.
When I look over at the clock it's well past five. Antoine has been shooting her for almost two hours. Elise left a while back but whether she's still here in the studio or up in her apartment, I have no idea. I lost track of her because my eyes are only on the girl.
Antoine does pretty well until the end. It's clear he's finished shooting and the girl is starting to look uncomfortable when he asks her what she was thinking about during the shoot.
I cringe. No, you don't ask them! You make them want to tell you, you idiot! I want to pull him aside and stop the crash and burn that's coming, but it's too late. She snaps at him and he pulls back when he realizes his mistake.
He turns the conversation to business and this is where it really gets interesting. She tells him she's not a model and has no portfolio. I'm just about to laugh when she starts yelling about pictures as payment.
I look back towards Elise's station and realize she forgot to explain the terms to her.
We are so off our game today. One tragic girl has disrupted all the carefully laid plans and protocols we've had in place for years.
The tragic girl storms off yelling. Antoine walks over to me and we wait together as she rants to Elise.
"You better fix this, Antoine," I say calmly, but inside I'm screaming too. "Pay the f**king girl, she needs the money."
He snorts like a f**king Frenchman. "I do not pay for test shoots."
"This," I say, turning to face him, "was no test shoot and you know it. You've got hundreds of shots in that camera. Pay her and make sure she comes back or I won't do the contract. I want her. I've put up with hundreds of stupid girls over the years for you and I've never asked you for a favor like this. I want this one, or I won't do it."
He fishes through his pocket and pulls out the cash that Clare never earned.
The studio door slams and we are all reminded that two models have walked out on us today.
"Elise!" Antoine calls, thrusting the bills out at her. "Catch her, pay her, and invite her back on Monday."
Elise grabs the money and flies out the door.
"We're in trouble, Ronin. She is trouble." He turns a little to look me in the eye, something he rarely does unless he's serious and wants me to consider his advice. "You should stay away from her, keep it professional. Or it might get messy."
I shrug. "I'll do what I want. And staying away from her isn't even in the top million things I want to do with that girl."
"Elise will hurt you if you ruin this one, Ronin. She won't tolerate another Mardee."
Fuck you, is what I think. But I don't say it, I just sigh and we wait in silence for Elise to come back.
Chapter Six - ROOK
My crying is not pretty, in fact, it borders on blubbering. It's a sobbing ugly cry, except I'm trying to be discreet so it comes out in weird half-silent gasps, in between hiccups and long draws of air.
When I hear footsteps I pull myself together, wipe the tears, and scoot over so whoever it is can get by. Instead they sit down next to me.
I look over at Elise and she holds out some money. "Here. He really doesn't pay for test shoots, Rook, but he likes your look and would like to extend another invitation." I take the bills and see that on top there is another little white card. I know I shouldn't, but I count the money as I sit there. Four hundred dollars in twenties. One hundred dollars for every hour I spent here today.
I look at her and start to cry again.
I know I should get up and just bolt out the door with my money, just make a quick getaway and leave this day behind, but Elise grabs my arm before I can stand up and I just don't have it in me to fight. I collapse back against the stairs and wipe my face frantically.
"Do you need help?" Elise asks after giving me a few moments to stop the tears.
I do. I mean, I really do. But I'm ashamed to have to ask for it. "No," comes out automatically.
She rubs my arm and lets out a small laugh. "OK. Well, would you believe that I am actually looking for someone to help me in the studio salon?"
I raise my tired and burning eyes up to her in surprise.
"Yes," she nods at me. "I am desperate, Rook. And I realize this is forward of me, but you did say you got fired today, so I was wondering if you'd like the job?"
I want to touch her right now but I hold back with Elise as Antoine starts shooting. The noise of the shutter snaps her out of her daze and I expect her to say something.
Anything—like Am I doing it right? Is this what you want?
But she says nothing. Antoine whispers to her, giving her small directions. She tilts her head when he asks, letting the light from the window fall across her face. It's late afternoon now, so the light is low and hazy. It bounces off her raven hair and her head turns in just the right way to catch some dying rays of sun, making her eyes sparkle. And that's how she's burned into my mind. The blackness of her hair, contrasting with the gray light behind her, and her bright blue eyes.
She catches me staring and I hold my breath. But neither of us turns away. We stare, unabashed, until Antoine's direction pulls her back into the shoot and she's lost again—guarded and unhappy, frowning and resigned. She's a blackbird sitting in a tree staring out at the world, daring the wind to come and knock her off the swaying bough.
She is wrecked, Elise is right. But she's not down yet. The look on her face is defiant.
When I look over at the clock it's well past five. Antoine has been shooting her for almost two hours. Elise left a while back but whether she's still here in the studio or up in her apartment, I have no idea. I lost track of her because my eyes are only on the girl.
Antoine does pretty well until the end. It's clear he's finished shooting and the girl is starting to look uncomfortable when he asks her what she was thinking about during the shoot.
I cringe. No, you don't ask them! You make them want to tell you, you idiot! I want to pull him aside and stop the crash and burn that's coming, but it's too late. She snaps at him and he pulls back when he realizes his mistake.
He turns the conversation to business and this is where it really gets interesting. She tells him she's not a model and has no portfolio. I'm just about to laugh when she starts yelling about pictures as payment.
I look back towards Elise's station and realize she forgot to explain the terms to her.
We are so off our game today. One tragic girl has disrupted all the carefully laid plans and protocols we've had in place for years.
The tragic girl storms off yelling. Antoine walks over to me and we wait together as she rants to Elise.
"You better fix this, Antoine," I say calmly, but inside I'm screaming too. "Pay the f**king girl, she needs the money."
He snorts like a f**king Frenchman. "I do not pay for test shoots."
"This," I say, turning to face him, "was no test shoot and you know it. You've got hundreds of shots in that camera. Pay her and make sure she comes back or I won't do the contract. I want her. I've put up with hundreds of stupid girls over the years for you and I've never asked you for a favor like this. I want this one, or I won't do it."
He fishes through his pocket and pulls out the cash that Clare never earned.
The studio door slams and we are all reminded that two models have walked out on us today.
"Elise!" Antoine calls, thrusting the bills out at her. "Catch her, pay her, and invite her back on Monday."
Elise grabs the money and flies out the door.
"We're in trouble, Ronin. She is trouble." He turns a little to look me in the eye, something he rarely does unless he's serious and wants me to consider his advice. "You should stay away from her, keep it professional. Or it might get messy."
I shrug. "I'll do what I want. And staying away from her isn't even in the top million things I want to do with that girl."
"Elise will hurt you if you ruin this one, Ronin. She won't tolerate another Mardee."
Fuck you, is what I think. But I don't say it, I just sigh and we wait in silence for Elise to come back.
Chapter Six - ROOK
My crying is not pretty, in fact, it borders on blubbering. It's a sobbing ugly cry, except I'm trying to be discreet so it comes out in weird half-silent gasps, in between hiccups and long draws of air.
When I hear footsteps I pull myself together, wipe the tears, and scoot over so whoever it is can get by. Instead they sit down next to me.
I look over at Elise and she holds out some money. "Here. He really doesn't pay for test shoots, Rook, but he likes your look and would like to extend another invitation." I take the bills and see that on top there is another little white card. I know I shouldn't, but I count the money as I sit there. Four hundred dollars in twenties. One hundred dollars for every hour I spent here today.
I look at her and start to cry again.
I know I should get up and just bolt out the door with my money, just make a quick getaway and leave this day behind, but Elise grabs my arm before I can stand up and I just don't have it in me to fight. I collapse back against the stairs and wipe my face frantically.
"Do you need help?" Elise asks after giving me a few moments to stop the tears.
I do. I mean, I really do. But I'm ashamed to have to ask for it. "No," comes out automatically.
She rubs my arm and lets out a small laugh. "OK. Well, would you believe that I am actually looking for someone to help me in the studio salon?"
I raise my tired and burning eyes up to her in surprise.
"Yes," she nods at me. "I am desperate, Rook. And I realize this is forward of me, but you did say you got fired today, so I was wondering if you'd like the job?"
