Train's Clash
Page 39

“Don’t do it.” The bitch lifted her troubled eyes to hers.
Killyama couldn’t be closer to the woman if they had shared the same blood. Probably closer. She and Sex Piston didn’t fight often, whereas Sex Piston and Diamond fought constantly.
“I won’t.” She knew they weren’t talking about the shampoo.
“I can’t watch you get hurt like that again.”
Setting the doll down on the edge of the tub, she reached for another one. “I’ve gotten him out of my system.”
“Men like Train aren’t easy to get over. I tried to stay away from Stud. So I’m asking you to do something I couldn’t do.”
“Train isn’t Stud and never will be. I’m moving to Knoxville when Hammer finds me an apartment.” She had given in to the idea of Lexington. However, business had become so steady they hadn’t had any time to go look at the apartments Hammer had selected before they had been taken off the market.
Sex Piston bowed her head, meticulously washing the doll. “This is all my fault,” she said, biting down on her trembling lip.
“Stop. I don’t want to hear you say that again. It’s not your fault I like the dude. I swore I wouldn’t be like my mother, and I fell for a man just like my father, if not worse. I should have left town the day I came back from taking that ride from him, but I knew I would miss you all. I’ll get over him. I’ll find someone I will care about more, and then move back home.”
“What if you don’t? What if you never come back?”
Killyama nudged her with her shoulder. “I’ll be back.”
“You swear?”
“I swear. Have I ever lied to you?”
“Yes, when you swore to me you wouldn’t get involved when you heard Stud and me arguing about talking to Knox about Sasha.” Her eyes dropped to the bandana at her throat. The bitch was smarter than others gave her credit for.
“Well, other than that time?”
“No, you never have.”
“You’ll see. I’ll be back before you know it. It’s not going to be hard to find someone. Hell, my only requirement is a big dick.”
Star came back in, holding enough towels so each doll could be dried separately. Setting them on the counter, she slipped between her and Sex Piston.
Seeing her mother’s sad expression, Star handed her the doll she was about to wash off. “You can do Ken, Mama. He likes his hair washed.”
“You do him, Star. I’m afraid I’ll drown him.” Sex Piston stared at the doll vengefully, as if it were Train incarnate.
“I’ll do him.” Killyama took the doll from Sex Piston, not wanting the girl’s feelings to be hurt.
“Careful,” Star warned. “His head falls off. Mama broke it accidently, and Daddy glued it back on, but it falls off a lot.”
“Does it?” Killyama took her eyes off the doll for a brief second to look at Star. When she turned back, the doll’s head was floating in the sudsy water.
Star fished his head out then took the headless body from her.
“I’m sorry, Star. How about I buy you a new one?” Killyama apologized to the upset girl.
Mollified, she wiggled the head back onto the body. “Can you just buy me a different Barbie I don’t have? I don’t want any more boy dolls. They break too easily.”
Killyama laughed, flicking water on Star’s cheek and starting a water fight. Then the three of them dried off before they finished the dolls.
Killyama enjoyed the afternoon with Star then went into the backyard to play with Rocky as Sex Piston cooked dinner. It was midnight when she drove home to her apartment.
She hadn’t wanted to leave. The love and intimacy in the family always drove home what was missing from her own life, what she never had: her own family.
Growing up, it had been her and her mother, with spurts of appearances from Hammer and Jonas. The only one she had always wanted to be there would show up when no one would know, keeping his identity a secret.
Inside her apartment, she carried her laptop to her bed. After showering, she rested on the bed, letting the cat snuggle next to her as she searched for the doll Star had told her she wanted. Clicking on “purchase,” she checked out before going to another site.
She scrolled down the options available, choosing what she wanted, checking out, and then closing the laptop when the receipt flashed across the screen.
Turning off her bedside lamp, she nuzzled her cat. “Who do you think he’s with tonight? Sasha, Jewell, or both?” The stupid game she played in her mind ripped her to shreds, but she couldn’t help from playing it. The scenarios of what went on in the clubhouse at night played differently every night until she fell asleep. It was a fucked-up way of replacing counting sheep.
Before she had seen Crash and Rider the night she had spent at The Last Riders’ clubhouse, she had imagined Train with only one of the women. Since then, she had begun imagining him with two or three of them a night.
Unable to fall asleep, she reached for the radio on her nightstand, pushing a button on the top. The soothing sound of thunder and rain filled the dark room. She started to count the seconds between the claps of thunder.
She had lied when she told Sex Piston she had ridden Train from her consciousness. There wasn’t going to be any getting over Train. She had instinctively known she would fall in love with him when he had walked across the parking lot the day they had gone for a ride.
She had inherited her mother’s flaw. Only one man had been able to hold her heart. Even in his death, she still mourned him. Though several men had tried to capture the heart that had already been taken, none had succeeded. Her father had made sure of that, secreting her mother away in a small town where no man could live up to the hero worship her mother felt for him.
Train was on the flip side of the same coin. Neither one truly cared about the women in their lives. He would happily share her with any of the men in the club. Hell, probably the women, too.
He was never going to love her. He would only care for her like he did all the women, but there wouldn’t be anything special between them. She bet if the women were grouped in a dark room, none of the men would be able to tell them apart, other than the tits.
Killyama took the thought back. Shade would be able to tell. He watched Lily with a hawk-like intensity. The woman didn’t take a breath before he made sure it was pure enough to enter her body.
Killyama didn’t know if she wanted a man so possessive, but damn, it would be nice to see what it could be like. To feel the warmth of someone’s love battle the frigid emotions that were seeping into her soul.
“I have a better chance of catching Dalton Andrews,” she said out loud to the cat.
Lily had met the movie star when she had visited some friends. He had made the news last year when his wife had succumbed to cancer, leaving him a widower. She would give herself a couple of years to get over Train, and let Dalton Andrews get over the famous fashion model, before she asked Lily if she could hook them up.
“What do you think, Gollum?” She nodded in the dark as if the cat agreed with her ludicrous plan. “I could buy you all kinds of toys if I nabbed him.”
Giving up trying to fall asleep, she turned on a movie that she had watched dozens of times. She was asleep before the first fight scene, tossing and turning as Dalton Andrews and Train fought in her dreams. She could see herself cheering the two men on.