Tristan: Finding Hope
Page 5

“Yeah,” I call out, hoping I’ll get an explanation. I tell Nova and Quinton that I’ll meet them inside. Then I turn around and jog back to the Jeep. Avery has the window rolled down and she’s not looking at me, but just over my shoulder, in Nova and Quinton’s direction.
“What’s up?” I ask as I reach the Jeep.
She holds up a finger. “Just a second.” She waits until Nova and Quinton disappear into the room, then her eyes land on me. She doesn’t say anything right away, instead reaching down toward her boot and taking something out of it.
My face instantly falls when I see what it is. “Where did you get that?” I ask in a tight voice.
She holds the bag of crystal in her hand and it takes a lot of energy not to rip it from her. “It fell out of your pocket when you were fighting Conner,” she says, staring at it. “I picked it up and tucked it into my boot when the police came. I was going to just dump it down the toilet when I got home, but then I…” She trails off, looking at me.
“But you wanted to see why I had it,” I finish for her.
She nods. “I thought you said you were clean.”
I try to act cool about it, but her disappointed gaze makes me feel guilty for some reason. Obviously this girl’s been through shit and she managed to get sober. I can’t get my dumb ass clean for more than a couple of weeks at a time. “I did, but I never said for how long.”
“How long?” she asks, her eyes searching mine.
“Three weeks,” I say, holding her gaze.
She considers what I said without looking away from me. “What do you want me to do with it?”
“You’re seriously giving me choice?” Is this girl for real?
“It doesn’t really matter if I get rid of it,” she says. “If you don’t want me to, then you’ll just go get some more.”
Those are the words of someone who understands being an addict. It makes me hate her and really f**king like her at the same time. “What if I said I wanted it back?” I ask. “Would you give it to me?”
She thinks about it and nods with reluctance. “If that’s what you wanted.”
I consider what I want. Her, my mind screams. It makes me want to ask her to come back to my room, but I decided to be a nice guy for one night—do something good for a change, even though it just about kills me just thinking about it. But she did just almost get her ass kicked by her ex-husband.
“You can dump it down the toilet when you get home,” I say, even though it’s painful to say it. My pulse accelerates from the words and my palms dampen. It feels like I’m being strangled.
She blows out a breath, relaxing. “If that’s what you want,” she says with a hint of amusement and it makes me smile just a little. She puts the bag back in her boot and reaches for the shifter, about to drive away. I start to leave when she says, “Oh and Tristan.”
I pause and turn to face her. “Yeah.”
She hesitates, considering something for a moment, then ultimately leans out her window and presses her lips to mine. It’s a quick kiss. No tongue, but there’s a lot of emotion behind it. I feel my heart rate quicken for a split second. Then she’s pulling away. “Thanks,” she says, biting her lip. “For stepping in. Not a lot of people would have done that.” She doesn’t saying anything else and doesn’t give me time to respond, driving away into the night, leaving me with a thousand questions running through my head.
And the biggest need to kiss her again.
Chapter 6
I’m anxious the next day to get some information about Avery. While we’re walking to the site on the side of the road, I ask Nova if she’ll give me Avery’s number, even though I’m not sure if I should call her.
“What happened last night?” Nova asks as she kicks rocks up on the side of the road with her feet. “Seriously, Tristan. Avery seemed really upset and you had that cut on your side…” She glances down at my ribs.
“I already told you what I know,” I say with my hands stuffed inside my pockets of my jeans. “Her ex-husband showed up and tried to beat her up, so I helped her out.”
“Well, it was very brave of you,” Nova says, pulling her sunglasses over her head and taking a sip of her coffee. “And kind of stupid.”
“I’m going to second that,” Quinton says, reaching for his cigarettes in his pocket. “I think we’ve gotten in enough fights to last us a lifetime.”
“Yeah, I know. But I doubt that will be my last,” I say, tossing him his lighter that I borrowed earlier.
Quinton shakes his head again as he lights up. He doesn’t say anything more, putting the lighter in his pocket and puffing on his cigarette.
“Well, I don’t have her number,” Nova says with an apologetic look. “But I’m sure she’ll be there today, since the house will be finished up. I think I even heard her say something about picking up the keys. She seemed really excited about it.”
I nod, unsure if it’s a good thing or a bad one that I’m eager to see her again. I keep telling myself that it’s because I want answer to what the hell last night was about—nothing more. But there’s a voice in the back of my head, telling me I’m wrong. That it had to do with the kiss, wanting to see all of her tattoos, and the fact that I dreamt about her last night, over and over again.
“Do you know why she needs the house?” I wonder, trying to seem like I’m just asking it to make conversation.
Nova shakes her head. “She didn’t mention it and I didn’t want to ask her, just in case it was something painful.”
I nod and then make the rest of the walk in silence. I try my best to get through the day without thinking about Avery too much, helping out with the finishing touches on the house. It’s probably the hardest I’ve worked in a long time and when I’m done, I’m tired and ready to head back to the motel to sleep. But instead I help clean up, hoping Avery will come by before we leave. Just to get some answers, I keep telling myself.
But eventually, all the tools are packed up and Avery still hasn’t shown up. The sun is descending below the hills and there’s nothing left to do but leave. I’m sitting on the cooler in front of the house, staring at the sunset when Nova walks up to me.
“She left town for a while,” Nova says, taking a seat beside me on the cooler.
“Who?” I play dumb, eyes fixed on the light slipping away behind the hills.
“The person you’ve been pretending not to look for all day.” She nudges her shoulder into mine. “This woman showed up and was talking to someone about Avery having to leave town for a little and that she was supposed to pick up the house keys for her.” She pauses. “I can go ask the woman for Avery’s number if you want.”
I shake my head, brushing my hair out of my eyes. “Nah, that’s okay.”
“Are you sure?” Nova asks. “It’s not a big deal.”
I pause, trying to sift through all my thoughts. What is the real reason I want to talk to Avery so much? Is it because I want answers or is there more to it than that? I mean, I barely know her. Hell, I don’t even know her last name. Yet I’m extremely curious about her, want to get to know her. Attracted to her. But seriously, what would be the point? We’d chat for like five minutes and then tomorrow I’d be gone. That would be the end of it. Besides, it’s probably for the better. I’m not the kind of person she needs in her life, I’m sure. Some ex-junkie who slips up pretty much every other week. I can’t even keep my own shit together and the girl seems like she has a lot of her own shit to deal with. Still, it’s hard to just walk away.
“Yeah, I’m sure,” I say to Nova, but for some reason, it feels like I’m making the biggest mistake of my life.
Nova looks sad, but nods and gets to her feet. “How about I go find Quinton and then we can take off?” She stretches her arms above her head. “I’m really tired.”
I get to my own feet. “Sounds good. I got to run inside and grab something and then I’ll meet you guys by the truck.”
We part ways and I go into the house, not to get anything like I said, but to do something I’m not sure I should be doing. I don’t even know what compels me to do it. I’ve had people come and go through my life, over and over again. Hardly any of them I can remember. Some are just ghost memories. And I’ve completely forgotten most. I’m not sure that I’ll ever forget Avery completely. I’m not sure whether it’s because of the crazy stuff that happened or because for a moment it seemed like we shared a moment.
So I go into the kitchen and find a pen someone left on one of the counters, probably used for measuring. Then I open one of the lower cupboards below the kitchen sink and crouch down in front of it. I know I could get into deep shit for doing this if anyone found out, but I’ve never been one to fear getting into trouble.
I lean into the cupboard and press the pen to the side of it, pausing before I write.
Avery,
I’m not sure if you’re okay, but I hope so. I know this is probably weird, some guy you met for like two seconds writing on your kitchen cupboard, but I just wanted to say that I hope you find the place where you can breathe, to where your soul can thrive again, to where you can be free, to where you can live again.… I never really did see the rest of the tattoo so I’m not sure. Maybe you already have. I hope so.
It was nice meeting you. Hopefully one day our paths will cross again.
Tristan.