It was one of those instances in your life where time ceases to exist. When Marie’s gaze went from Sharron’s uncharacteristically clear and knowing eyes, to the dark intense stare of Nathaniel, she felt her heart break and swell. Was that how it happened? Similar to a turtle’s shell, it shatters before it can grow. The pain that no medicine could treat produced tears which unapologetically streamed from Marie’s eyes. However, it wasn’t until she saw the same moisture escape from the dark eyes of the man she loved, that she felt the impending sobs within her chest, threatening the loving silence which filled the room.
Marie knew it wasn’t her place to speak. Oh, she didn’t have a problem directing Nathaniel while alone, but this was his speech. He needed to proceed at his own pace. It may be the only time she ever heard his voice crack, but she did. It was a gift few others receive, a forbidden view into his heart and soul.
“Sharron, it’s all right. I want you to let me go.” He continually exhaled, at a seemingly disproportionate rate to the breaths he took in. Finally, he continued, “I love you. I will always love you. And I know you love me. But you need to move on, for you, for all of us. Samuel and Amanda will be all right. Anton will be fine,” more exhaling and inhaling, “and we will miss you, but we will survive.”
Sharron squeezed both of the hands that held hers. Her eyes appeared to flit from one face to the other. Did she know? Was she giving her blessing? They’d never know for sure, but they could believe. Nathaniel’s voice gained strength, “I will never forget you, but I’ve found solace. Marie came into my life for you, but she’s helped me, too.” More breathing, “We’ve found comfort in one another.”
When he fell silent, Marie spoke, “Ms. Sharron, I promise to take care of Nathaniel, as much as he will allow. He will not be alone.”
Nathaniel’s eyes moved from his wife, to his companion, to her midsection. Marie looked away. Did he really want to reveal their secret? She couldn’t do it; again, it was his decision. “Sharron, this may shock you.” He grinned through the grief; Marie believed she heard a low laugh. “I know it did me. But dear, there’ll be another Rawls in the house. Our name will continue. We have a baby due the beginning of next year.”
Did she understand? She squeezed both hands again. Her eyes seemed to register every word, and she blinked two times. The next breath she took was one of the deepest she’d taken in a while. One more squeeze of their hands, and she fell asleep. Sharron hasn’t awoken since.
The sound of the French door opening behind her brought Marie back to the present. She moved her focus from the vast green landscape to the person now looming beside her chair. Expecting the nurse, Samuel’s presence caught her off guard.
Marie spun around, her feet feverishly pushing into her sandals. “Mr. Rawls, I didn’t know you were home.”
His stare was intense, as he lowered himself onto the adjacent lounge chair. Instead of speaking, he looked out at the blue sky. The growing silence magnified Marie’s unease. Only the rustle of the trees in the breeze was audible. Finally she asked, “Did you want something? Or are you waiting for the physician to finish his exam?”
“You like this lifestyle, don’t you?”
“Excuse me?”
“I had you investigated. Did you seriously think I would allow someone to live in my house, care for my mother, and seduce my father without knowing her past?”
Marie stood abruptly. She moved toward the rail debating her response. If this were Nathaniel and they were alone, she would meet him head-on. This wasn’t Nathaniel. And she’d always addressed Samuel with respect, a kindness obviously not reciprocated.
“Mr. Rawls, your tone is making me uneasy.”
He stood, “Really, my tone? My words aren’t bothering you? The fact I just accused you of seducing my father – calling you what you are, a whore.”
“I believe you’re overwrought by your mother’s illness. I’m sure you don’t mean everything you’re saying.”
“You’re wrong. I mean every damn word. I will admit, the investigation was tricky, seeing as though you don’t use your first name.” She turned and glared, her gray eyes speaking the retort she wouldn’t allow her lips to say. He continued, “My investigator told me you were disowned by your family – they don’t want anything to do with you, after you disgraced them, after you gave birth to a bastard!”
Her blood boiled; she couldn’t contain her words. “Your investigator doesn’t have the whole story.”
“When my father hears this, once my mother is gone, you’ll be out on your ass!”
“Good luck with that.” Marie’s chin rose in defiance. “Your father knows the truth. I’ve told him everything. The truth is...” Marie straightened her stance and contemplated. After a protracted silence, she continued with more control and less emotion, “The truth is -- you don’t deserve to know what happened. It’s none of your damn business.”
Samuel took a step toward her, infuriated by her insolate words and tone. This conversation could go so many different directions. Fortunately the destination would remain unknown as a petite blonde nurse offered a welcome interruption, politely knocking on the glass paned door, purposely making as much noise as possible, as she entered the stone balcony. “Excuse me, Mr. Rawls, Ms. Marie, the doctor would like to speak with you both.”
Marie knew it wasn’t her place to speak. Oh, she didn’t have a problem directing Nathaniel while alone, but this was his speech. He needed to proceed at his own pace. It may be the only time she ever heard his voice crack, but she did. It was a gift few others receive, a forbidden view into his heart and soul.
“Sharron, it’s all right. I want you to let me go.” He continually exhaled, at a seemingly disproportionate rate to the breaths he took in. Finally, he continued, “I love you. I will always love you. And I know you love me. But you need to move on, for you, for all of us. Samuel and Amanda will be all right. Anton will be fine,” more exhaling and inhaling, “and we will miss you, but we will survive.”
Sharron squeezed both of the hands that held hers. Her eyes appeared to flit from one face to the other. Did she know? Was she giving her blessing? They’d never know for sure, but they could believe. Nathaniel’s voice gained strength, “I will never forget you, but I’ve found solace. Marie came into my life for you, but she’s helped me, too.” More breathing, “We’ve found comfort in one another.”
When he fell silent, Marie spoke, “Ms. Sharron, I promise to take care of Nathaniel, as much as he will allow. He will not be alone.”
Nathaniel’s eyes moved from his wife, to his companion, to her midsection. Marie looked away. Did he really want to reveal their secret? She couldn’t do it; again, it was his decision. “Sharron, this may shock you.” He grinned through the grief; Marie believed she heard a low laugh. “I know it did me. But dear, there’ll be another Rawls in the house. Our name will continue. We have a baby due the beginning of next year.”
Did she understand? She squeezed both hands again. Her eyes seemed to register every word, and she blinked two times. The next breath she took was one of the deepest she’d taken in a while. One more squeeze of their hands, and she fell asleep. Sharron hasn’t awoken since.
The sound of the French door opening behind her brought Marie back to the present. She moved her focus from the vast green landscape to the person now looming beside her chair. Expecting the nurse, Samuel’s presence caught her off guard.
Marie spun around, her feet feverishly pushing into her sandals. “Mr. Rawls, I didn’t know you were home.”
His stare was intense, as he lowered himself onto the adjacent lounge chair. Instead of speaking, he looked out at the blue sky. The growing silence magnified Marie’s unease. Only the rustle of the trees in the breeze was audible. Finally she asked, “Did you want something? Or are you waiting for the physician to finish his exam?”
“You like this lifestyle, don’t you?”
“Excuse me?”
“I had you investigated. Did you seriously think I would allow someone to live in my house, care for my mother, and seduce my father without knowing her past?”
Marie stood abruptly. She moved toward the rail debating her response. If this were Nathaniel and they were alone, she would meet him head-on. This wasn’t Nathaniel. And she’d always addressed Samuel with respect, a kindness obviously not reciprocated.
“Mr. Rawls, your tone is making me uneasy.”
He stood, “Really, my tone? My words aren’t bothering you? The fact I just accused you of seducing my father – calling you what you are, a whore.”
“I believe you’re overwrought by your mother’s illness. I’m sure you don’t mean everything you’re saying.”
“You’re wrong. I mean every damn word. I will admit, the investigation was tricky, seeing as though you don’t use your first name.” She turned and glared, her gray eyes speaking the retort she wouldn’t allow her lips to say. He continued, “My investigator told me you were disowned by your family – they don’t want anything to do with you, after you disgraced them, after you gave birth to a bastard!”
Her blood boiled; she couldn’t contain her words. “Your investigator doesn’t have the whole story.”
“When my father hears this, once my mother is gone, you’ll be out on your ass!”
“Good luck with that.” Marie’s chin rose in defiance. “Your father knows the truth. I’ve told him everything. The truth is...” Marie straightened her stance and contemplated. After a protracted silence, she continued with more control and less emotion, “The truth is -- you don’t deserve to know what happened. It’s none of your damn business.”
Samuel took a step toward her, infuriated by her insolate words and tone. This conversation could go so many different directions. Fortunately the destination would remain unknown as a petite blonde nurse offered a welcome interruption, politely knocking on the glass paned door, purposely making as much noise as possible, as she entered the stone balcony. “Excuse me, Mr. Rawls, Ms. Marie, the doctor would like to speak with you both.”
