Twenty-Nine and a Half Reasons
Page 92

“I thought I could be someone else if I moved away and I could run from all the pain from our past, but now I’m not so sure. Maybe I need learn to accept and learn to love Rose Gardner of Henryetta before I can be Rose of somewhere else.”
“Then maybe you have your answer.”
I bit my lip, tears falling down my cheeks. “I’m going to lose Joe.”
She grabbed my hand again. “If he loves you enough, he’ll understand.”
Would he?
“And if he’s fool enough to let you go, he doesn’t deserve you. Don’t you worry, Rose, there’s plenty of other men to choose from.”
I laughed through my tears. “You mean like that blind date you set me up with? Steve, the Pillsbury Doughboy?”
She cringed. “No, and I’ll regret that for the rest of my life. Austin Kent, for one.”
“I’m not interested in Austin Kent.”
“Of course you’re not. You only have eyes for Joe. But if you find yourself in the position of being single, I assure you that other men would be interested.”
I leaned over and hugged her. “Thank you.”
“What are big sisters for? Maybe shaking up my own life has helped me look at things differently. I love you, Rose. I want you to be happy.”
“Thanks, Vi. I love you too.”
“I have to go pick up the kids. Were you supposed to go home with me?”
“How did you know that?”
She smiled. “Joe sent me a text.”
“Yeah. But I’m supposed to eat lunch with Neely Kate and I want to go to the library.”
“Are you sure it’s safe?”
“You heard me tell Mason about the library, and he didn’t try to stop me.”
She stood. “Okay. Do you want me to drop you off anywhere?”
“No, I’m not done with my coffee and Neely Kate can probably take an early lunch. Then I’ll just walk to the library. It’s only two blocks away and there are lots of people around. I’ll be fine.”
“Call me if you need me to come get you.”
“Thanks.”
I watched through the window as Violet walked to her car. Her change in attitude surprised me. Joe most likely wouldn’t be happy that I didn’t go home with Violet. I sighed, my heart heavy. Just one more offense to add to my ever-growing list. But if I decided to go to Little Rock tomorrow, I wanted to have one last lunch with Neely Kate.
I texted Neely Kate, and told her I was at the coffee shop and ready whenever she was. She answered back a few minutes later, saying Jimmy was going out for awhile and she’d let me know when she could go.
Since I had some time to fill, I figured I ought to use it to think about my future. I decided to make a list of reasons to go to Little Rock and a list of reasons to stay in Henryetta. I grabbed the coffee receipt and started the Little Rock list first, coming up with twenty-nine reasons.
Waking up with Joe every morning. Having someone to kill bugs. He cooks really well. He’s sweet to Muffy. He’s a good cuddler. He’s a wonderful man. He helps me wash dishes. He believes in me more than I do sometimes. He puts gas in my car. He mows the lawn for me. He helps me paint and says he likes it. He likes to try new things with me. He’s content to just be with me. He likes to play with Ashley and Mikey. He holds my hand when we go for walks.
He doesn’t snore. He rubs my feet. He gives me backrubs. He’s thoughtful. He’s a very handsome man. He thinks I’m beautiful. He helps me figure out problems. He thinks I’m intelligent. He’s not embarrassed by my visions. He loves me. He misses me when we’re not together. He wants to have a family one day. He makes me happy.
I’m miserable without him.
I turned the receipt over and started the reasons to stay, staring at the paper a good five minutes before only coming up with one. But once I wrote it down, my eyes welled up with tears and I knew without a doubt I’d made my decision.
I stared at the three words through blurry vision, sure I was making the biggest mistake of my life.
I’m not ready.
Choking back my tears, I picked up my phone to call Joe. Now that I had my decision, I felt the need to tell him as soon as possible. His phone rang as a man walked in the door of the coffee shop. Jimmy DeWade, Neely Kate’s boss, stood just inside the entrance holding a folded newspaper under his arm. He glanced around the room, catching my gaze. His mouth lifted into a half-smile, but his eyes were cold. My breath stuck in my chest when I saw the scratches on the side of his face and my head grew fuzzy.
Joe’s voicemail message kicked in, but I was frozen in horror.
Jimmy DeWade. Duane.
“He’s here,” I wheezed before Jimmy walked over and took my phone out of my hand. Stunned, I was slow to react. He hung up the call and tucked it in his front dress shirt pocket, sitting across from me.
“Fancy meeting you here.”
I was still trying to catch my breath.
Jimmy grinned, the scratch marks across his cheek stretching. “I think it’s time we had a chat.”
Chapter Twenty-Seven
Jimmy’s mouth lifted into a lopsided grimace. His hand twitched on the table, giving away his nervousness.
I noticed the scar on his arm, matching the one in my vision. Why hadn’t I looked him over more closely the day before?
“You’ve got nothing to say in broad daylight?” He removed the paper from under his arm and laid it on the table, lifting an edge to expose a gun. “Don’t think about doing something stupid. We don’t want someone to accidentally get hurt.”