Two of a Kind
Page 20

“You’re a hell of a lot closer to normal than I am. You still have emotions. You feel things. Kids need that.”
“You have emotions, too.”
“Not the right kind,” he said bitterly.
She stepped close and wrapped her arms around him. “I’ll be there, for as long as you need me. I promise.” She glanced up and smiled. “And when he’s asleep, we can have sex.”
Gideon gave a strangled laugh. “You’re not boring, you know that?”
“I’m glad you think that.”
* * *
“WICKED,” CARTER SAID, walking to the slider and opening it. Once he stepped on the deck, he could see even farther. His dad’s house was on the side of a mountain.
He didn’t know how high up they were, but all around were trees and mountain peaks and sky.
“Are there eagles?” he asked. “Does it snow up here in winter?”
“There are many different kinds of raptors,” Felicia said. “As for snow, the elevation is such that there should be plenty.” She looked amused. “Are you asking because you enjoy winter sports or because you’re thinking it would mean missing school?”
“Both,” he said with a grin. “I’d like to learn how to snowboard. I can surf. Not great, but I like it.”
“Then you should have the balance necessary to snowboard. I have trouble with most sports.” She leaned close. “I tend to fall a lot,” she added in a whisper.
Carter laughed.
Felicia was strange. Totally hot, in a stepmother kind of way. He liked how she talked—all the big words challenged him. She was nice.
He was less sure about his father. Gideon stood across the room, watching, as if afraid to get too close. From what Carter’d been able to find out online, his dad had been through a lot of stuff in the military. Maybe he’d been hurt and wasn’t right yet. That would be better than Gideon not wanting him around.
Most days Carter had been able to keep on doing what had to be done. He’d gone to class, done his homework, hung out with his friends. But at night, things were different. When it was dark and he was alone, he missed his mom. He cried, but no one had to know that. She’d been gone a year, and he still missed her. He wanted to feel safe again.
“Okay, your room,” Felicia said. “It’s back this way.”
She walked through the large living room. There were sofas and stuff, but no TV.
“Is there cable?” he asked, wondering what he was supposed to do if there wasn’t TV or internet.
“There’s a media room downstairs,” Gideon said stiffly. “Wi-Fi throughout.”
Carter’s mood brightened. “Good to know.”
Felicia stopped and turned to face him. “Do we have to monitor your internet access?” she asked.
“I’m okay,” he told her. “I don’t go anywhere I shouldn’t.”
He did his best to look innocent and young.
Her green eyes gazed at him steadily. “You’re thirteen. Biologically, you’re dealing with a surge in hormones, stimulating sexual interest. Curiosity is natural. While I respect a quest for knowledge, you’re still impressionable. Pornography will give you an unrealistic view of what it’s like when a man and a woman—”
He winced. “Could we not talk about this? I know where babies come from.”
“I’ll need to do more research on the topic.”
“Which topic?” He was sure hoping she wasn’t thinking they needed to discuss sex.
“Rules and limitations for a boy your age.”
“I’m a good kid. Everybody says so.”
“I’m sure they do. Let’s go see your room.”
He followed her down a hallway. The first door on the left led to a large bathroom with a long counter and a big tub/shower combo. They went inside.
“This will be yours,” she said, then frowned. “I think we’ll have to get you new towels.”
“They’re fine,” he said, pulling open drawers and opening the cupboard door below one of the sinks.
“They’re beige.” She glanced around. “Everything in this bathroom is beige.”
He pointed to the toilet. “It’s white.”
“What colors do you like?”
“Blue and green. I like the color of your eyes. They’re pretty.”
He was tall and skinny, but she was taller by a couple of inches. She smelled nice. Like vanilla.
“You’re really smart, right?” he asked.
“Yes.”
“Supersmart? You went to college and stuff?”
“Yes. I have several advanced degrees.”
“More than two?”
Her mouth twisted. “A few more than two.”
“So you can help me if I have trouble with my homework?”
“In every subject.”
He grinned. “Except staying on a snowboard.”
She laughed. “I don’t think that’s going to be an assignment.”
She lightly touched his arm, then pointed out the door.
They went into the hallway and across to a guest room. It was big, with a large window facing the front of the house. There was a queen-size bed, a dresser and a door to the closet.
“Beige,” she murmured.
Carter saw she was right. Beige carpet covered the floor, and a matching comforter draped over the bed. Felicia walked to the window, then back to the bed.
“You have room here for a desk. You’ll need that for your homework. Are you too old for toys?”
“Have been for years.”
She glanced at his backpack. “Do you have any other luggage?”
He shook his head, embarrassed, but determined not to show it. “I like to travel light.”
Her green eyes settled on his face. “Your temporary guardians were too busy with the breakdown of their marriage to realize you needed new clothes and you were too proud to ask.”
Heat burned on his face. “Look, I can take care of myself.”
“You’ve done an impressive job, Carter. I grew up without my parents, but I had other adults who saw to all my physical needs. I was book-smart, but I doubt I could have been as innovative as you.”
He felt his eyes burning and turned away. He was too old to cry in front of someone. “Yeah, I’m the man.”
* * *
“IT’S GOOD,” CARTER said, after he swallowed.
Felicia took a tentative bite, then nodded. “I agree. The lasagna turned out okay.” She sighed in relief. “Recipes often seem designed to defy success. Although I understand directions and follow them, the result isn’t always what I expect. Patience promised the recipe was foolproof, but sometimes people exaggerate about that. Or assume I have more ability than I do. People have been bringing casseroles to my office all day to help out while we all adjust to our new situation. So we won’t have to completely rely on my cooking.”
Gideon glanced down at his plate, wondering how he was supposed to fake eating. Or acting normal. Here he was, at his dining room table with Felicia and Carter. Felicia he could handle, but his kid? Jesus.
He was aware of the tightness in his body. Of the rapid pounding of his heart and the way it hurt to breathe. He needed to run until he couldn’t go any farther or simply disappear into the night. Only he couldn’t. Not now.
His gaze slid over Carter, then moved away. A son. He was unable to absorb the words or the meaning. If Ellie had told him about the baby before his time in the Taliban prison, maybe he would have felt different about being a father. Then again, maybe he would be dead now because of it. The other men there had crumbled under the torture because the longing for their loved ones had made them weak.
He remembered being held captive. The long nights, the longer days. How they’d beaten him, cut him, hooked him up to a battery until he’d screamed for mercy. One by one, the other men captured with him had given in to the darkness that claimed their souls. They’d died calling out for wives and children. Only Gideon had survived. He’d been able to go into himself, to think of nothing, miss nothing, be nothing. Loving had made the other men weak.
Carter glanced at him. “I saw the media room. Sweet setup.”
Felicia laughed. “I agree. You have an impressive man cave.”
Gideon shrugged, unable to think of what he was supposed to say. “You, ah, know how to work everything?”
“Uh-huh.” The teen nodded. “I looked over the movies. A lot of action flicks. Some are pretty old, but I’ll try them.” He looked at Felicia. “No Sleepless in Seattle for you.”
“I haven’t seen that movie,” she admitted.
“You should. It was my mom’s favorite. Kind of romantic. She always cried at the end.”
“Happy crying?” she asked.
Carter stared at his plate and nodded.
Gideon sensed he was uncomfortable, no doubt missing his mother. The past year would have been tough for the kid. He was resourceful, which was good. Smart. Not Felicia smart, but she was in a class by herself.
He wondered what Ellie had told Carter about him. If she’d said much more beyond the fact that he wasn’t father material. He wasn’t angry with her decision—he agreed with it. Only now he was stuck and he didn’t know what he was supposed to do.
He looked at the clock on the wall. It was barely seven, but he knew he couldn’t stay much longer. The walls were closing in. He needed time by himself. A chance to disconnect. Only he hadn’t eaten and there was Carter.
He reached for his glass of water, saw his hand was shaking, then dropped the arm to his side.
“Gideon, go.” Felicia stared at him intently. “You have time before you have to be at the radio station. Go for a run. You can shower at the station afterward.”
If he could run, he could breathe, he thought, not sure how she’d figured out what was wrong, but grateful she had. He nodded once and stood. Carter looked at him, but once again he had no idea what he was supposed to say.
Felicia followed him out of the kitchen. In the hallway, she spoke softly. “It will get easier.”
He stared into her beautiful eyes. “Thank you,” he said, meaning it more than nearly anything he’d ever said. “Thank you for helping. I couldn’t do this without you. You’re great with him.”
She smiled. “I like him. Give it time. You’ll like him, too.”
* * *
“HE’S NOT HAPPY to see me,” Carter said when she returned to the table.
Felicia wondered if this was one of those moments where it was better to lie. She hadn’t expected to have to make parenting decisions so unexpectedly. With a newborn, she would work her way to the more difficult conversations. Now she was thrust in the middle of a situation for which she had no training and minimal instincts.
“He’s adjusting,” she said. “Your father went through a lot. He was held prisoner for a couple of years.”
Carter’s dark eyes widened. “No way.”
She thought about the scars on Gideon’s honed body. “He’s still adjusting. It’s why he lives out here. So he can be alone.”
Carter swallowed. “I shouldn’t have come.”
“He’s your father. You need to be here. But it’s going to take a while for the two of you to find your way.”
“Are you dating?”
Felicia smiled. “Yes, we’re dating.” She wasn’t going to explain that she’d made a deal with Gideon. “I’m going to stay here for a while. Until you and your father are settled with each other.”
Carter stared at Gideon’s untouched plate. “That could take a while.”
“I have time.” She took another bite and chewed. “I’ve signed you up for a summer camp.”
Carter groaned. “I’m too old for camp.”
“It’s called End Zone for Kids. Raoul owns it. You said you like him.”
Carter smiled. “He was cool.”
“Good. Then the camp should be, too. You’ll be with teens your age. Making friends is the quickest way for you to feel safe and comfortable in Fool’s Gold. You need a peer group.”
“Another one of those rites of passage?” he asked, his voice teasing.
“Yes. Plus being in camp will fill your day. You’ll have less time to brood.”
“I’m a guy. I don’t admit I have emotions.”
“Already?”
Carter grinned. “Gotta start young if you want to get the cute chicks.”
She tried to conceal her horror. “You’re not dating yet, are you?”
“No. I’m thirteen.”
“You seem mature. I’m going to have to find mothers in town and speak to them about this.”
Carter looked panicked. “You’re kidding, right?”
“No. I’m very serious. I have no experience with teenage boys. Gideon was one once, but I’m not sure he’s comfortable with those memories.”
“You’re different from other adults I’ve talked to.”
Felicia nodded, accepting that even children knew she was a freak. No wonder Denise Hendrix hadn’t wanted her to apply to date her sons. “I’ve heard that before.”
“It’s okay. I like how you talk. You don’t lie.”
“How can you know that?”
He shrugged and collected another piece of lasagna. “I just know. Want to watch a movie after dinner?”
Felicia felt an unexpected warmth in her chest. Acceptance was always gratifying. “I’d like that very much.”