Unbeautiful
Page 21

 Jessica Sorensen

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“How long have you lived here?” I recline against the railing of the stairway and wrap my arms around myself as the cool air nips at my skin.
He rubs his jawline with one hand while the other spells away, “A couple of months. It’s been an interesting change to go from Sin City to here.”
“Sin City?” Strands of my hair fall into my face as I angle my head to the side in confusion. “What’s that?”
“It’s a nickname for Vegas.”
“Why is it called that?”
A pucker forms at his brows as he brings his finger to his mouth and traces it back and forth across his bottom lip and over his lip ring. I’m absolutely mesmerized by the movement, drawn in by it to the point where I actually contemplate kissing him. I’ve never just planted one on a guy before; Evan was in total control of the relationship.
Ryler moves his hand away from his lip and bites on his lip ring. “Because it’s a city with sins tempting people at every corner—gambling, booze, sex.”
About a year ago, I lost my virginity to Evan, but standing here, watching Ryler sign sex while sucking on his lip ring, makes me feel like a virgin again.
“Oh,” is all I manage to get out of my mouth.
I only breathe normally again when he releases the metal from his teeth and drops his cigarette to the ground.
“So, about the party.” He gestures at the door. “Do you want to come in for a while? They’re playing cards and there are drinks and snacks and stuff. Plus, your papers are in there.” His lips quirk to a half grin and my stomach somersaults.
Do I want to come in?
Boy, do I want.
A lot.
Even through the fear, I want to go through that door.
More than I’ve ever wanted to do anything in my entire life.
In the back of my mind, I hear the voices of my mother, father, and Evan whispering that what I’m about to do is wrong. I’m not being who I’m supposed to be. I’m being all wrong, imperfect. I’m surrounding myself with unbeautiful people, according to their standards.
I smile the biggest smile that’s ever graced my lips, even though I’m terrified out of my mind. “A party sounds fun. I’ve never actually been to one.”
“You seriously are sheltered, Emery.” He reaches for the doorknob but pauses. “I can help you change that.” He winks at me.
The disapproving voices in my head continue to chant as I follow him inside and into the unknown. But the music swallows them up as soon as I step over the threshold. Everything in my mind quiets the moment I step into the room. Everything is still for the first time in my life without taking the medication.
Chapter 6
A Strange Turn of Events
Ryler
She knows how to sign.
She knows how to sign.
The beautiful girl I’ve been obsessed with and torturing with my silence for over a week knows how to sign.
What a strange turn of events. A turn I didn’t see coming.
Even Violet sees the potential there, something she made clear when she whispered in my ear, “Go get yourself some. After Haven, you deserve it.”
“Welcome to our palace,” I sign with a teasing grin then sweep my arm around in a grand gesture as Emery and I enter the living room.
She chuckles at my joke as she nervously takes in the handful of people sitting at the kitchen table, playing a game of poker. “Hey Man, Nice Shot” by Filter throbs from the stereo and vibrates through the floor. The air is smoky, and the whole room buzzes with drunken excitement.
“What’s that smell?” she asks as she sniffs the air.
I almost consider lying to her. She’s clearly been sheltered, and by the looks of her mother, I’m betting Emery comes from a wealthy family. She’s probably not used to this kind of environment. Then again, she is living in the same crappy apartment complex.
I shrug, deciding to go with the truth. “It’s pot, I think.”
“Oh.” Her expression plummets.
“Is that going to be okay?” I hurriedly sign. “Because we can go hangout outside if it bothers you.”
She ravels a strand of hair around her finger as she glances around at the television, sofa, and beer bottles on the coffee table. “No… it’s fine. I’ve been around drugs before. I just…” She trails off and her eyes widen as if she’s admitted something horrible. She swiftly shakes her head and focuses on the dining room. “So, how does one of these things work? Not the party part, but I mean the poker game.”
I stare at her, waiting for her to look at me, but her eyes remain fixed on the table, refusing to drift in my direction again. She’s definitely hiding something, but what? And do I care enough to press?
I step in front of her so I can answer her question. “They’re pretty easy. I can teach you how.” I offer her a smile and she relaxes.
“Are you any good?” she teases, nudging her shoulder into mine.
“I’m okay,” I under-embellish.
“So, then I’ll have a chance of winning?” She bats her eyelashes at me, either flirting or really hopeful I’ll help her win.
“If you follow my exact instructions, then, yeah.” I’m not being overly confident. I know I’m that good, better than Luke, even. “But they’re playing for shots, so I’m not sure if you want to win.” I point to an array of alcohol bottles lining the counter along with some different types of juices and bottled water.