Under Pressure
Page 16
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Stupid. Fucking. Asshole.
Chapter Seven
Reese
With my stomach twisted into knots, I pace my room, hating how mean I was to Cole today. But God, I had to be. No way do I want him to give up his life because he thinks he has to take care of me, little old Reesey Piecey, who can’t function without him. I’d never try to change him, never want him to come to resent me for it like Jared did. And obviously, I was trying to change Jared to be more like Cole because I love him. I’ve always loved him. The truth is I can function without him. I just don’t want to.
I wipe away a runaway tear and place my hand on my stomach as nausea grips me. I love Cole so freaking much, and even though he might never talk to me again, and the loss of our friendship will shatter me completely, I had to push him away for his own good. He came back because I needed him, not because he wanted me.
You’re just friends, Reese.
Friends who have really great sex, but friends nonetheless. And it’s time he went back to his life. When it comes right down to it, Cole hates working in construction with his uncle. He’s built for adventure, like hiking the Colorado Mountains, white water rafting in the rivers…back-bending orgasms.
He was only having sex with me because my trip was supposed to be about finding a guy and sleeping with him. Yeah, sure, he seemed to enjoy it, too, but he’s always there to protect me, help me out, and give me what I need. That’s what the sex was all about, considering he only ever treated me as a buddy, one of the guys, before this trip.
I hear a distant rumble and walk to my window to peek out the curtains. Rain pelts the glass, and a quiver moves through me. God, I hate storms. Not just because they’re loud and frightening, but also because when I was a kid, lightning struck my grandmother’s house and she fell down the stairs during the blackout while trying to get to me. Finding her lifeless body that night still haunts me. Another roar of thunder backs me away from the window, and old, painful memories resurface.
Lightning brightens the sky, and I hurry to the bed and slide under the covers. I’m sitting there, counting the seconds between the light and thunder, when someone knocks on my door. I hug myself, hoping it’s Cole as much as I hope it’s not. I need to make a clean break from him, for both our sakes.
“Who is it?”
“It’s me.”
Cole.
“What’s up?” I ask, trying for casual, like I’m perfectly fine.
A moment of silence and then, “Open the door, Reese.”
Yeah, okay, so trying to pretend anything with Cole is a waste of time. He can always see right through me. It does make me wonder, though. Will he see through what I’m doing, the reason I’m pushing him away? What would he do if he knew how I really felt? Hop on the next bus and run for cover?
I sit there for a moment, toying with the blankets, but when the night sky lights up again, I jump from the bed and dash across the room. I pull the door open, and when I see the tender, caring way Cole is looking at me as he pulls me into his arms, my heart nearly breaks into a million tiny pieces. He guides me to my bed and doesn’t bother to ask if I’m okay. He knows I’m not. He pulls the blankets down.
“Get in.”
Dressed only in my thigh-high nightgown—sans panties—I slide in without a word, and Cole circles the bed. He tears off his jeans, and with only his boxer shorts on, crawls in next to me. He fixes the blankets around us and pulls me to him, spooning me from behind. His heat reaches out to me, his hands comforting as they hold me. My pulse crashes against my neck as I take comfort in his presence. It’s hard to believe that after the way I treated him, he’s here, holding me, soothing me, taking care of me. I don’t deserve this after the way I pushed him away, physically and emotionally.
“Cole,” I begin, though I have no idea what it is I want to say.
“It’s okay, Reese,” he says, and I wonder if he knows I’m trying to apologize for my behavior. “I’ve got you. You’re safe.”
He strokes my hair, pushing it from my shoulder, and I can feel his breath hot on my neck. Lightning strikes again, and even though I know I’m safe with him, I stiffen and shimmy closer, desperate for a deeper connection, even though I know better. But that’s when I realize he’s stiff, too—between the legs.
Oh, God, this is bad, so bad, but I can’t help it. I want him again. I want to feel him inside me just one more time. I close my eyes and fight an internal war between right and wrong, but that doesn’t stop my body from reacting to his.
Maybe I should go for it. If he’s going back to Colorado, and I might never see him again, might have destroyed our friendship, maybe I should have this one last night with him. Farewell-sex between best friends.
“Cole.”
“Yeah.”
Run away, Reese.
“Remember when we were teens and you used to sneak into my room during storms.”
“Uh huh.”
Heartache be damned.
“You used to play games with me. Get me talking about things to distract me.”
“Do you want to play a game, Reese?” he asks, his voice so deep it curls though me and ignites every nerve in my body.
“Yeah, I thought maybe we could do something to distract me.”
He goes still. Too still, and my heart thunders. After today, he should push me away, tell me to go to hell. I inch away from him, expecting him to do just that, but when I turn to see him, and I catch the fire in his eyes, I take a quick breath. The man I know is funny and playful, and I’m sure I’ve never seen him look so intense before.
Maybe this is a bad idea.
I draw a shaky breath, and I’m about to say so when he pulls me underneath him. His lips come down on mine, and I moan as his tongue slides in. His kisses are slower and softer, a steady deepening that is different from before but every bit as profound. I tremble with the things I feel for him, the love that runs so deep.
He pulls back and touches my hair. “Did that work?” he asks.
“Yes,” I whisper with effort.
His gaze moves over mine. “So, kissing works as a distraction?”
I try to speak but can only nod as my voice catches in my throat.
He runs his fingers along my neck, a soft tickle, and I quiver beneath his intimate touch. “If I kissed you here, do you think that would that work, too?”
Chapter Seven
Reese
With my stomach twisted into knots, I pace my room, hating how mean I was to Cole today. But God, I had to be. No way do I want him to give up his life because he thinks he has to take care of me, little old Reesey Piecey, who can’t function without him. I’d never try to change him, never want him to come to resent me for it like Jared did. And obviously, I was trying to change Jared to be more like Cole because I love him. I’ve always loved him. The truth is I can function without him. I just don’t want to.
I wipe away a runaway tear and place my hand on my stomach as nausea grips me. I love Cole so freaking much, and even though he might never talk to me again, and the loss of our friendship will shatter me completely, I had to push him away for his own good. He came back because I needed him, not because he wanted me.
You’re just friends, Reese.
Friends who have really great sex, but friends nonetheless. And it’s time he went back to his life. When it comes right down to it, Cole hates working in construction with his uncle. He’s built for adventure, like hiking the Colorado Mountains, white water rafting in the rivers…back-bending orgasms.
He was only having sex with me because my trip was supposed to be about finding a guy and sleeping with him. Yeah, sure, he seemed to enjoy it, too, but he’s always there to protect me, help me out, and give me what I need. That’s what the sex was all about, considering he only ever treated me as a buddy, one of the guys, before this trip.
I hear a distant rumble and walk to my window to peek out the curtains. Rain pelts the glass, and a quiver moves through me. God, I hate storms. Not just because they’re loud and frightening, but also because when I was a kid, lightning struck my grandmother’s house and she fell down the stairs during the blackout while trying to get to me. Finding her lifeless body that night still haunts me. Another roar of thunder backs me away from the window, and old, painful memories resurface.
Lightning brightens the sky, and I hurry to the bed and slide under the covers. I’m sitting there, counting the seconds between the light and thunder, when someone knocks on my door. I hug myself, hoping it’s Cole as much as I hope it’s not. I need to make a clean break from him, for both our sakes.
“Who is it?”
“It’s me.”
Cole.
“What’s up?” I ask, trying for casual, like I’m perfectly fine.
A moment of silence and then, “Open the door, Reese.”
Yeah, okay, so trying to pretend anything with Cole is a waste of time. He can always see right through me. It does make me wonder, though. Will he see through what I’m doing, the reason I’m pushing him away? What would he do if he knew how I really felt? Hop on the next bus and run for cover?
I sit there for a moment, toying with the blankets, but when the night sky lights up again, I jump from the bed and dash across the room. I pull the door open, and when I see the tender, caring way Cole is looking at me as he pulls me into his arms, my heart nearly breaks into a million tiny pieces. He guides me to my bed and doesn’t bother to ask if I’m okay. He knows I’m not. He pulls the blankets down.
“Get in.”
Dressed only in my thigh-high nightgown—sans panties—I slide in without a word, and Cole circles the bed. He tears off his jeans, and with only his boxer shorts on, crawls in next to me. He fixes the blankets around us and pulls me to him, spooning me from behind. His heat reaches out to me, his hands comforting as they hold me. My pulse crashes against my neck as I take comfort in his presence. It’s hard to believe that after the way I treated him, he’s here, holding me, soothing me, taking care of me. I don’t deserve this after the way I pushed him away, physically and emotionally.
“Cole,” I begin, though I have no idea what it is I want to say.
“It’s okay, Reese,” he says, and I wonder if he knows I’m trying to apologize for my behavior. “I’ve got you. You’re safe.”
He strokes my hair, pushing it from my shoulder, and I can feel his breath hot on my neck. Lightning strikes again, and even though I know I’m safe with him, I stiffen and shimmy closer, desperate for a deeper connection, even though I know better. But that’s when I realize he’s stiff, too—between the legs.
Oh, God, this is bad, so bad, but I can’t help it. I want him again. I want to feel him inside me just one more time. I close my eyes and fight an internal war between right and wrong, but that doesn’t stop my body from reacting to his.
Maybe I should go for it. If he’s going back to Colorado, and I might never see him again, might have destroyed our friendship, maybe I should have this one last night with him. Farewell-sex between best friends.
“Cole.”
“Yeah.”
Run away, Reese.
“Remember when we were teens and you used to sneak into my room during storms.”
“Uh huh.”
Heartache be damned.
“You used to play games with me. Get me talking about things to distract me.”
“Do you want to play a game, Reese?” he asks, his voice so deep it curls though me and ignites every nerve in my body.
“Yeah, I thought maybe we could do something to distract me.”
He goes still. Too still, and my heart thunders. After today, he should push me away, tell me to go to hell. I inch away from him, expecting him to do just that, but when I turn to see him, and I catch the fire in his eyes, I take a quick breath. The man I know is funny and playful, and I’m sure I’ve never seen him look so intense before.
Maybe this is a bad idea.
I draw a shaky breath, and I’m about to say so when he pulls me underneath him. His lips come down on mine, and I moan as his tongue slides in. His kisses are slower and softer, a steady deepening that is different from before but every bit as profound. I tremble with the things I feel for him, the love that runs so deep.
He pulls back and touches my hair. “Did that work?” he asks.
“Yes,” I whisper with effort.
His gaze moves over mine. “So, kissing works as a distraction?”
I try to speak but can only nod as my voice catches in my throat.
He runs his fingers along my neck, a soft tickle, and I quiver beneath his intimate touch. “If I kissed you here, do you think that would that work, too?”
