This is me, all of me. And I want him with everything I am.
Dex breaks the kiss, and steps back with a ragged gasp.
No! I want to scream, feeling his absence like a crash of frozen water on the flames of my desire. I reach for him again, dazed with longing, but he shakes his head, still breathing fast.
“Not tonight.”
I blink, reeling. Doesn’t he want me? But before my brain can function again, Dex is taking my arm and guiding me back to my room. I don’t think I can stand straight, let alone walk with my body in such a molten state, but somehow I sleepwalk beside him, as if in a dream.
What just happened?
How can he do this to me with just one kiss?
“Sleep tight, my sweet Alicia,” he murmurs, brushing his lips against my cheek. And before he turns away, he whispers one final command.
“Dream only of me.”
9.
Dex gets his wish.
I toss and turn for hours that night, my body wound so tight with desire that sleep seems impossible. When I finally fall into the dark oblivion, it’s to a new kind of torment. Dreams of him, of us together, bodies entwined and gasping, lips searching in the night. I wake at dawn, restless and unsatisfied, blushing from the explicit images still flashing in my mind.
If this was his plan to distract me from heartache, it’s working. Everything I left behind in the city seems hazy and out of focus like a distant dream.
I toss the covers aside. Sunrise is flooding through the huge windows, just the way Dex promised, and outside, the view is breathtaking. The beach is a haven of stillness and tranquility. Just what I need. I pull on some pants and a sweater and slide the glass panel aside, grabbing my phone before I step outside. I head down the deck steps and across the sand towards the water, leaving the house behind.
The beach is empty, save a flock of seagulls swooping and circling overhead as I stroll along the shoreline, just out of reach of the foamy surf. The wet sand is cool under my bare feet, and I breathe deeply to center myself, trying to find some sense of balance again after the past twenty-four hours have sent me spinning off-center.
I don’t know how to process this.
My reaction to Dex is like nothing I’ve ever felt before. It’s the reason I stayed away from him for months—and the reason I’m here now. The intensity of our chemistry is overwhelming, and part of me wonders if this is all a terrible mistake.
Surely something so reckless and wild can’t be good for me.
Maybe a little bad is just what you need, a voice in my head reminds me. My stomach twists at the memory of Dex in the darkness last night. That spark of rebellion, the recklessness that shimmered in my veins. It’s different from everything I’ve ever told myself about attraction. Even before Hunter, I was always drawn to good guys: solid and dependable, men who would make good husbands and fathers. Boys who would never let me down.
But Dex…Lord, that man is trouble, with a capital T on a flashing neon sign. There’s no chance of a future here, not with a rock star on the run from his own troubled demons. I’ll be lucky to make it to the end of the week, at the rate we’re burning up with passion.
But I’m not here for a future, I’m here to forget my past. So why not go down in a flame of glory?
I exhale, watching the ocean roll in and out in a comforting rhythm. I’ve always done this: analyzed every moment of my life, thought about the consequences of every little decision so much that before I know it, the chance has already passed me by. Dex’s kiss last night was so intoxicating because for once, I felt whole—my body and mind perfectly aligned in desire, no push-back or conflict between them. There’s no time to weigh my decisions and think about the future, not with every nerve and synapse screaming to life from his touch.
With Dex, the only thing that matters is this very moment—right now, the two of us—and if I let myself admit it, it’s thrilling, to let go of everything like that. To finally be free from the voice of reason that’s dominated my choices all my life.
I never had a rebellious phase, I never caused my parents a single moment of grief. I was the good one, the sensible one, who could always be relied on to do the right thing. I watched my friends and classmates make dumb, crazy choices: skipping school, running around with messed-up guys, risking everything for a few moments of pleasure.
I never understood what could make them jeopardize their safe, stable lives. But now, for the first time, I feel the shiver of recklessness in my veins like a drug, tempting and bold. I finally get what drove them to sneak out the window in the middle of the night and cross state lines for the sake of some guy.
Once you get a taste of this pleasure, all you want is more.
And you can have it this time.
Suddenly decided, I pull out my phone and tap out a couple of quick emails. I’ve got so much vacation time stored up, it won’t be a big deal to take the whole week off. Lily was right when she said nobody would care if I didn’t come in; this is the perfect time to be away from the office. We’ve shipped the winter line, and until we present Spring next month, there’s nothing demanding my immediate attention at work. As long as Jacob doesn’t burn the building down and I check in every day, everything should run smoothly without me.
I click “send,” and just like that, I have a week. A week with Dex…the thought is even more awe-inspiring and terrifying than ever now that I know just what’s in store for me.
If one kiss can drive me wild, I can’t fathom the pleasure I’ll discover from something more.
Dex breaks the kiss, and steps back with a ragged gasp.
No! I want to scream, feeling his absence like a crash of frozen water on the flames of my desire. I reach for him again, dazed with longing, but he shakes his head, still breathing fast.
“Not tonight.”
I blink, reeling. Doesn’t he want me? But before my brain can function again, Dex is taking my arm and guiding me back to my room. I don’t think I can stand straight, let alone walk with my body in such a molten state, but somehow I sleepwalk beside him, as if in a dream.
What just happened?
How can he do this to me with just one kiss?
“Sleep tight, my sweet Alicia,” he murmurs, brushing his lips against my cheek. And before he turns away, he whispers one final command.
“Dream only of me.”
9.
Dex gets his wish.
I toss and turn for hours that night, my body wound so tight with desire that sleep seems impossible. When I finally fall into the dark oblivion, it’s to a new kind of torment. Dreams of him, of us together, bodies entwined and gasping, lips searching in the night. I wake at dawn, restless and unsatisfied, blushing from the explicit images still flashing in my mind.
If this was his plan to distract me from heartache, it’s working. Everything I left behind in the city seems hazy and out of focus like a distant dream.
I toss the covers aside. Sunrise is flooding through the huge windows, just the way Dex promised, and outside, the view is breathtaking. The beach is a haven of stillness and tranquility. Just what I need. I pull on some pants and a sweater and slide the glass panel aside, grabbing my phone before I step outside. I head down the deck steps and across the sand towards the water, leaving the house behind.
The beach is empty, save a flock of seagulls swooping and circling overhead as I stroll along the shoreline, just out of reach of the foamy surf. The wet sand is cool under my bare feet, and I breathe deeply to center myself, trying to find some sense of balance again after the past twenty-four hours have sent me spinning off-center.
I don’t know how to process this.
My reaction to Dex is like nothing I’ve ever felt before. It’s the reason I stayed away from him for months—and the reason I’m here now. The intensity of our chemistry is overwhelming, and part of me wonders if this is all a terrible mistake.
Surely something so reckless and wild can’t be good for me.
Maybe a little bad is just what you need, a voice in my head reminds me. My stomach twists at the memory of Dex in the darkness last night. That spark of rebellion, the recklessness that shimmered in my veins. It’s different from everything I’ve ever told myself about attraction. Even before Hunter, I was always drawn to good guys: solid and dependable, men who would make good husbands and fathers. Boys who would never let me down.
But Dex…Lord, that man is trouble, with a capital T on a flashing neon sign. There’s no chance of a future here, not with a rock star on the run from his own troubled demons. I’ll be lucky to make it to the end of the week, at the rate we’re burning up with passion.
But I’m not here for a future, I’m here to forget my past. So why not go down in a flame of glory?
I exhale, watching the ocean roll in and out in a comforting rhythm. I’ve always done this: analyzed every moment of my life, thought about the consequences of every little decision so much that before I know it, the chance has already passed me by. Dex’s kiss last night was so intoxicating because for once, I felt whole—my body and mind perfectly aligned in desire, no push-back or conflict between them. There’s no time to weigh my decisions and think about the future, not with every nerve and synapse screaming to life from his touch.
With Dex, the only thing that matters is this very moment—right now, the two of us—and if I let myself admit it, it’s thrilling, to let go of everything like that. To finally be free from the voice of reason that’s dominated my choices all my life.
I never had a rebellious phase, I never caused my parents a single moment of grief. I was the good one, the sensible one, who could always be relied on to do the right thing. I watched my friends and classmates make dumb, crazy choices: skipping school, running around with messed-up guys, risking everything for a few moments of pleasure.
I never understood what could make them jeopardize their safe, stable lives. But now, for the first time, I feel the shiver of recklessness in my veins like a drug, tempting and bold. I finally get what drove them to sneak out the window in the middle of the night and cross state lines for the sake of some guy.
Once you get a taste of this pleasure, all you want is more.
And you can have it this time.
Suddenly decided, I pull out my phone and tap out a couple of quick emails. I’ve got so much vacation time stored up, it won’t be a big deal to take the whole week off. Lily was right when she said nobody would care if I didn’t come in; this is the perfect time to be away from the office. We’ve shipped the winter line, and until we present Spring next month, there’s nothing demanding my immediate attention at work. As long as Jacob doesn’t burn the building down and I check in every day, everything should run smoothly without me.
I click “send,” and just like that, I have a week. A week with Dex…the thought is even more awe-inspiring and terrifying than ever now that I know just what’s in store for me.
If one kiss can drive me wild, I can’t fathom the pleasure I’ll discover from something more.
