“Keep moving unless you’re in the mood to be interrogated,” he says near my ear.
“I thought you were in charge here,” I toss back.
“I told you . . . there’s not just one leader here.” He jerks his head back to the group. “If Marcus wants you badly enough . . . and convinces everyone else that you’re some spy, well then, there’s not much Terrence or I can do for you.”
My throat tightens as his voice fades. I swallow against the thickness rising up my windpipe. “Why not let them take me? Aren’t they your friends?”
“Marcus is not my friend, nor is his sidekick, Ruben,” he growls, his hand exerting the slightest pressure at my waist. “He’s power hungry. All this is a pissing match between him and me.”
“And I’m in the middle of it? Great. Maybe you should care a little less for my welfare then. Maybe I’d be better off.”
His mouth curves in a half smile, and that sends a warm little flutter through me—to know I made him smile. Perfect. I give myself a mental punch to the face. That’s what feeling so alone and starved for friends and companionship does to you. It’s made me weak and overly affected at the first smile a cute guy throws my way.
That’s not all it does. It makes me care. Again. Like before. I nod as the knowledge twists sickly through me, curling around my heart. Yeah. Right. And caring makes you do things like kill.
I suck in a breath at the reminder of Sean. I don’t regret saving his life, but taking the life of another? I can never shake that.
“Hey, Cade!”
I look up as another fatigues-clad guy advances. This one doesn’t look nearly as intimidating as Marcus and Ruben, however, even if he’s big, too.
“Been looking for you!” He holds a notepad, his face animated at whatever he’s got written there. He’s probably in his late twenties, but at the moment he looks like a kid who just discovered a forgotten lollipop in his pocket.
“Terrence.” Caden stops and nods at me beside him. “This is Davy.”
“Oh.” He blinks down like he’s noticing me for the first time. “Heard Caden found you out there . . . there was a lot of static on the wire about your group. They were going nuts trying to get you guys. Glad the others you were with made it across. Pretty lucky. More are captured than succeed. Except us. We rarely fail.”
“Yeah, it’s a real relief.” Whatever happens to me, at least there’s the comfort of knowing they reached the other side.
“Last night I was actually worried with Caden out there and the patrols so thick.”
“Yeah. I guess I’m lucky he was out there, though, to find me.”
“No doubt.” He takes my hand in a firm handshake. “Nice to meet you.”
“You too.”
Terrence drops my hand and waves his pad at Caden again. “I’ve got some exciting intel about activity east of—”
“I’ll meet you in controls in a minute, T,” Caden says calmly.
Terrence looks ready to argue, but then he glances from Caden to me and seems to compose himself. He squares his shoulders, and his expression loses some of its animation. “All right.” He nods. “See you in a few.”
Caden holds the door to the infirmary open for me. I feel instantly more at ease once I step inside the familiar room. Phelps is there with Rhiannon. They’re peering over a microscope on the far counter. They lift their heads to give us the barest glance before returning their attention to their work.
Caden helps me toward the bed. “Kind of hard to stop now.”
I pause, looking at him in confusion, both my hands flat on the bed, ready to lift myself up.
“Caring,” he clarifies. “About you.”
The words send hot prickles throughout me. I quickly drag myself all the way onto the bed, hardening everything inside me. I don’t know why he’s saying such things or being kind. It’s tempting to trust him. To let myself lean on someone else. “It’s not hard,” I insist, staring at him intently, begging with my gaze. “You just stop.” I say this like that’s the easiest thing to do. I want to add that if you don’t stop now, it only hurts more later. I know this. Later, when the world crashes all around you, it will be too late.
He pulls the blanket over my legs like I’m an invalid. “Rest. Get better. We’ll talk tomorrow.” He glances to where the doctor and Rhiannon work. His voice lowers as he considers them. “Try to avoid Marcus. It doesn’t take much for him to stir up trouble. I’m sure you can understand how tense everyone is.”
Tense? With the world wanting you dead or under lock and key in a detention camp? With patrols swarming above us hunting for carriers? Yeah. I guess I understand why tempers might be quick to flare.
He continues to study me, adding, “I know it feels like you’re trapped here, but this place is freedom. The closest we can get, anyway, these days. This compound exists for the sole purpose of helping carriers find freedom. You’ll get your chance. Just hang in there. I’ll help you. You just have to trust me.”
I shake my head at him, all my nerves squeezing tight. Resisting him and that impossible thing he suggests.
He sighs, a faint smile on his lips. “I know what you’re thinking. You don’t do trust.”
The corners of my lips tentatively lift. It’s a humorless smile that feels all wrong on my face. “It’s not in me.” To trust. To wait for life to happen to me. That’s not possible. Not anymore.
“I thought you were in charge here,” I toss back.
“I told you . . . there’s not just one leader here.” He jerks his head back to the group. “If Marcus wants you badly enough . . . and convinces everyone else that you’re some spy, well then, there’s not much Terrence or I can do for you.”
My throat tightens as his voice fades. I swallow against the thickness rising up my windpipe. “Why not let them take me? Aren’t they your friends?”
“Marcus is not my friend, nor is his sidekick, Ruben,” he growls, his hand exerting the slightest pressure at my waist. “He’s power hungry. All this is a pissing match between him and me.”
“And I’m in the middle of it? Great. Maybe you should care a little less for my welfare then. Maybe I’d be better off.”
His mouth curves in a half smile, and that sends a warm little flutter through me—to know I made him smile. Perfect. I give myself a mental punch to the face. That’s what feeling so alone and starved for friends and companionship does to you. It’s made me weak and overly affected at the first smile a cute guy throws my way.
That’s not all it does. It makes me care. Again. Like before. I nod as the knowledge twists sickly through me, curling around my heart. Yeah. Right. And caring makes you do things like kill.
I suck in a breath at the reminder of Sean. I don’t regret saving his life, but taking the life of another? I can never shake that.
“Hey, Cade!”
I look up as another fatigues-clad guy advances. This one doesn’t look nearly as intimidating as Marcus and Ruben, however, even if he’s big, too.
“Been looking for you!” He holds a notepad, his face animated at whatever he’s got written there. He’s probably in his late twenties, but at the moment he looks like a kid who just discovered a forgotten lollipop in his pocket.
“Terrence.” Caden stops and nods at me beside him. “This is Davy.”
“Oh.” He blinks down like he’s noticing me for the first time. “Heard Caden found you out there . . . there was a lot of static on the wire about your group. They were going nuts trying to get you guys. Glad the others you were with made it across. Pretty lucky. More are captured than succeed. Except us. We rarely fail.”
“Yeah, it’s a real relief.” Whatever happens to me, at least there’s the comfort of knowing they reached the other side.
“Last night I was actually worried with Caden out there and the patrols so thick.”
“Yeah. I guess I’m lucky he was out there, though, to find me.”
“No doubt.” He takes my hand in a firm handshake. “Nice to meet you.”
“You too.”
Terrence drops my hand and waves his pad at Caden again. “I’ve got some exciting intel about activity east of—”
“I’ll meet you in controls in a minute, T,” Caden says calmly.
Terrence looks ready to argue, but then he glances from Caden to me and seems to compose himself. He squares his shoulders, and his expression loses some of its animation. “All right.” He nods. “See you in a few.”
Caden holds the door to the infirmary open for me. I feel instantly more at ease once I step inside the familiar room. Phelps is there with Rhiannon. They’re peering over a microscope on the far counter. They lift their heads to give us the barest glance before returning their attention to their work.
Caden helps me toward the bed. “Kind of hard to stop now.”
I pause, looking at him in confusion, both my hands flat on the bed, ready to lift myself up.
“Caring,” he clarifies. “About you.”
The words send hot prickles throughout me. I quickly drag myself all the way onto the bed, hardening everything inside me. I don’t know why he’s saying such things or being kind. It’s tempting to trust him. To let myself lean on someone else. “It’s not hard,” I insist, staring at him intently, begging with my gaze. “You just stop.” I say this like that’s the easiest thing to do. I want to add that if you don’t stop now, it only hurts more later. I know this. Later, when the world crashes all around you, it will be too late.
He pulls the blanket over my legs like I’m an invalid. “Rest. Get better. We’ll talk tomorrow.” He glances to where the doctor and Rhiannon work. His voice lowers as he considers them. “Try to avoid Marcus. It doesn’t take much for him to stir up trouble. I’m sure you can understand how tense everyone is.”
Tense? With the world wanting you dead or under lock and key in a detention camp? With patrols swarming above us hunting for carriers? Yeah. I guess I understand why tempers might be quick to flare.
He continues to study me, adding, “I know it feels like you’re trapped here, but this place is freedom. The closest we can get, anyway, these days. This compound exists for the sole purpose of helping carriers find freedom. You’ll get your chance. Just hang in there. I’ll help you. You just have to trust me.”
I shake my head at him, all my nerves squeezing tight. Resisting him and that impossible thing he suggests.
He sighs, a faint smile on his lips. “I know what you’re thinking. You don’t do trust.”
The corners of my lips tentatively lift. It’s a humorless smile that feels all wrong on my face. “It’s not in me.” To trust. To wait for life to happen to me. That’s not possible. Not anymore.
