Unsuitable
Page 21

“How is the job going?”
I’m so nervous that I’m actually starting to sweat.
“Really great.” Aside from my bipolar boss. “I’m really enjoying it.”
“You’re working at”—she pulls a sheet of paper from the folder and looks at it—“the Matis Estate, as a maid.”
“That’s right.” I clasp my hands together in my lap.
I don’t want to talk about my job. I want to talk about Jesse. But I need to let her take the lead here.
“I just had my first payday today actually.” I smile.
She lifts her kind eyes to mine. “That’s great, Daisy. I’m really pleased that things are coming together for you.”
“Me, too.” I smile, probably too enthusiastically, but I’m just feeling nervous and jittery.
“Can I ask…how is Jesse? I know, the last time we spoke—well, not the last time; the time before, when I was still in prison—you said he was doing well. Getting his grades back up.”
When I got put away, Jesse went off the rails for a while. He’d always been a good boy, a sweet boy, and done great in school. But he started acting up in school. Letting his grades slip.
He hadn’t acted up like that when dad died or when mum disappeared on us. But he did when I left.
That was hard to take, knowing what I had unwittingly let happen, how it had affected him so badly.
I know it was because I was all he had left.
“He’s still doing well. His grades are almost back up to where they were. His teachers are pleased with his progress. He recently started playing football. Him and some of the boys he lives with have a team. Tim Marshall, the head of the boys group home, is the coach. They’ve been competing in some local tournaments.”
“That’s so great. I would love to watch them play sometime.”
She doesn’t say anything to that, and her nonaction drops like rocks in my stomach.
There’s this awful pause…and it makes my eyes burn and my stomach sink lower.
“I’m not getting him back, am I?”
She looks me straight in the eyes. “It’s not a no, Daisy.”
“But it’s not a yes.”
“I can see how well you’re doing here. And how hard you’re trying to make a good life for yourself and Jesse. But you’ve only been out of prison for four days, and you’re out on parole. It would be irresponsible of me to put Jesse back in your care under the current circumstances. But that being said, we can reassess in six months and see where we’re at.”
Six months.
I feel like I’m dying on the inside.
Tears are fighting at my eyes. My lower lip trembles. I bite down on it.
“Daisy, the ultimate goal here is to have Jesse back with his family, and that’s you. But I need to make sure that the environment I put him back into is a stable one. You need time to acclimate to life on the outside. And this will give you time to get your finances steady, get your life in a good place, and get you ready for Jesse’s return.”
“Am I…” My voice breaks, so I clear my throat and blink back the tears. “Will I be able to see him?”
“Absolutely. I have talked to Jesse, and he is willing to see you.”
“He’s still angry with me?”
She presses her lips together. “The anger has simmered. It’s more like he’s harboring resentment, but I have no doubt that, once the two of you start spending time together, he’ll come around in no time.”
“When can I see him?”
“I was thinking next Saturday. So long as Jesse is okay with it, I see no problem with you picking him up at nine a.m. and spending the day together. He’ll need to be back at five for dinner. But, aside from that, the day will be yours to do with as you wish.”
“Thank you,” I tell her.
She picks up her cup and takes a large gulp of tea before putting it back on the table. “Well, I must get off. My husband will have dinner waiting on the table for me.”
I stand at the same time as she does.
“Oh, before I forget, here’s the address to where Jesse is living. I’ll call the home on Monday to let them and Jesse know that you’ll be coming.”
She hands me a piece of paper, which I look at before folding it up into my hand.
I walk her to the door, opening it. “Thank you for coming to see me,” I tell her.
She puts her hand on my arm. “Try not to feel too disheartened, Daisy. Just try to remember that you and I are both working toward the same goal—doing what’s best for Jesse.”
I want to tell her that I am what’s best for him. Not living in that boys home with a bunch of strangers, but being here with his family.
Of course I say nothing. I just smile and nod my head.
“We’ll talk soon.” She steps through the door. “And have a lovely time with Jesse next Saturday. Call me on the Monday after to let me know how it went.”
“I’ll call on my lunch break.”
“Perfect. Chat then.”
I watch her walk away and then shut the door.
I lean back against it, once again fighting tears in my eyes.
I’m not getting him back.
But I am going to see him in just over a week. That’s a good thing. I know it is, but I just want him back here with me.
Fucking Jason! He ruined my life.
But more so, I’m angry with myself for being so gullible and stupid. For not seeing when I was being played.