Unsuitable
Page 65

“I shut my eyes, Daisy. I left her there, alone. I shut my fucking eyes, like the coward I was, because I couldn’t bear to see them hurting her.
“A second later, I felt a hot pain in my stomach. The guy sitting on me had stabbed me in the stomach for shutting my eyes. They’d meant it when they said they wanted me to watch. It was just a fucking game to them. We were a game to them. The bastard told me, if I shut my eyes again, then he’d kill me. And he meant it.” His glistening eyes stare at the floor.
“So, I watched while they took turns raping her. I watched them hurt her over and over again.” He swallows hard.
“The leader of the gang knelt on top of me, holding me down. I knew he was in charge, as he’d been the one giving all the orders…and he was the first one of those bastards to rape Haley. He’d made it clear to them that he was going first.
“They were all sick fucks, but he was a special brand of sick, all on his own. He really got off on it. He taunted me, telling me what a good fuck she was. He—” He breaks off at his own words, his breathing heavier, angrier. “He even thanked me for sharing her with him and his boys.” The sound of disbelief that escapes him is filled with agony.
Bile rises in my throat at the thought of what he and Haley went through that night.
I wrap my arms around my stomach, trying to hold myself together.
“Then, he told me that, even though I’d been good to him by letting him have my girl, he couldn’t let me live. He drove his knife into my chest, and then he just kept on stabbing. He was smiling the whole fucking time.
“I must’ve blacked out from the pain because I eventually came to, and when I did, they were gone. Maybe they had thought I was dead, or maybe they just hadn’t cared to check. But Haley…she was dead. They’d stabbed her multiple times in the chest while I was blacked out, and as I found out later, they’d finally strangled her to death.
“She died alone and in pain.”
He’s silent for a long moment before he speaks again, “Not long after I awoke, we were found by a passerby who was out late, walking his dog. Somehow, I survived. Some days, I wish I hadn’t.”
His eyes come to me. His expression is unreadable. “So, now, you know everything.”
He stands abruptly.
I shakily get to my feet. “Kas—”
“Don’t.” He lifts a hand, stopping me from going further, even though I have no clue what to say. “You don’t need to say anything, Daisy. I didn’t tell you to be a bastard or hurt you or have you feel sorry for me. You wanted to know, and now, you do. You know the very worst part of me.”
Then, he walks out of my living room and out of my apartment.
And I let him go.
Thirty
I didn’t go into work today. After what Kas had told me before leaving the way he had, I wasn’t sure he would want me to be there. I thought he would need some time to himself. I’ll make today’s hours up this weekend. I just wanted to give him space away from me, and honestly, I needed some time to process.
Kas’s words have been haunting me all day, conjuring up the images of what he must have lived through that night. What he still lives with every day.
“Somehow, I survived. Some days, I wish I hadn’t.”
Those words have stuck with me and affected me most.
I want him to be happy. I want to be the one to make him happy.
He’s so quietly strong about everything that happened to him. He calls me strong, but he’s the one who is. He’s so brave.
Knowing all this has made me realize just what he truly means to me. It’s put everything into perspective.
I knew I cared about Kas. I just didn’t realize the extent.
I’m falling for him.
Listening to him this morning, finding out what had happened to him…I ached for him. I felt every pain that he felt. And I wanted to kill those bastards with my bare hands for what they had done to him…to her.
The depths of the way it wrecked me wasn’t just empathy for another human being. It’s because I’m falling for this beautiful, broken, complex man.
That is why I find myself taking the train to Westcott at six thirty p.m.
I just need to see him. Talk to him.
Exiting the train at my stop, I walk the twenty minutes to the Matis Estate.
And then I’m standing outside the gates before I know it.
I key in the code on the keypad, and as soon as the gates part, I slip between them and walk up the long driveway to the house.
When I reach the house, I see that Kas’s car is parked out front, so I know for sure that he’s home. I don’t know what I was planning to do if he wasn’t. Probably wait here until he showed up.
I walk up to the front door and knock. Then, I wait.
It’s not long before I hear his footsteps approaching, and the door swings open.
“Daisy.” He doesn’t look surprised to see me.
As far as I know, they don’t have cameras on the Matis Estate, so he couldn’t have seen me coming.
Weird.
“Hi.” I smile tentatively.
He’s dressed in black lounge pants and a white T-shirt. His feet are bare.
He looks beautiful. Tired but beautiful.
My beautiful, broken man.
He stands aside to let me in and closes the door once I’m inside.
“Can I get you something to drink?” he asks softly.
“Coffee would be great.”
Kas heads off to the kitchen. I take my shoes off and hang my coat up before following after him.