Until Sage
Page 20

“Kim?”
“Yeah?” I answer, keeping my eyes down, but that still doesn’t stop me from hearing the concern in her voice.
“You okay?”
“Totally,” I lie, trying to shake off the sudden sadness that has settled over me. I know I’m alive and I have a life to live, but shouldn’t I feel something more than I’ve been feeling? Shouldn’t I be in bed crying my eyes out over my sister?
“Have you talked to anyone?” Jax asks, and I pick up my cup of tea and hold it between my suddenly cold hands as I look at him.
“About what?” I question, and he tips his head to the side.
“About Kelly?”
“I’ve talked to my parents, Chris, and Sage,” I fib, and he shakes his head like that answer disappoints him in some way.
“Would you be willing to talk to someone else?” he inquires, and I frown.
“Do you mean a shrink?”
“Not necessarily a shrink, but someone who has experience dealing with this kind of thing.”
“I don’t need help. I’m fine. I promise. It’s just a lot, and I really don’t know how I should be feeling,” I confess, setting the cup down with my hands still clasped around it.
“Feel whatever you want to feel. Whether it’s happiness or sadness, there is not a right way to deal with grief,” Ellie interjects quietly before reaching over to take my hands from my cup of tea and hold them between us. “I know you may feel guilty at times over the fact your life is moving forward when your sister’s has come to an abrupt end, and that’s okay. But you are still alive.” She squeezes my hands. “You are still moving on. Your life didn’t end when hers did.”
“Thank you.” I blink away the tears that have gathered in my eyes. I didn’t know how much I needed to hear those words until this exact moment, but I did need them.
“Ashlyn would really like to talk to you. She’s been worried and thinks you’re avoiding her,” Jax says, and I can see that almost losing Ashlyn, who is not only his sister but also his close friend, has affected him more than even he has let on.
“I know, and I haven’t been avoiding her,” I lie. I have been avoiding her. When I found out Ashlyn got away from the man who killed Kelly, I was thankful. Then, over the next twenty-four hours, I went through a range of emotions that left me off-balance. I would never want my friend dead, but knowing my sister was gone and Ashlyn survived made it hard to understand. And all the emotions I was feeling overwhelmed me with guilt. So much guilt that I couldn’t talk to Ashlyn, not until I got my head sorted out. “I’m going to go see her after work,” I say, and Jax relaxes while Ellie lets out an audible breath.
“Good,” Jax states, and I pick up my bag.
“We should get set up. We need to open in just a few minutes,” I say to Ellie, and she turns to look at the clock behind her then her eyes widen.
“Shit,” she mutters before leaning up to peck Jax on the lips. “You need to go. I gotta get to work.”
“You know just how to kill a man’s ego.” He smiles at her, and she smacks his shoulder then pushes him toward the door and out with one more kiss. Laughing at them, I head to the back of the salon, where I get stuff set up before worrying the entire day away about what will happen when I see Ashlyn.
Chapter 7
Kim
PARKING NEAR THE large fountain in the driveway at Dillon and Ashlyn’s house, I shut down my car, slip off my seatbelt, and open the door, grabbing the bouquet of flowers I got her from the passenger seat. Getting out, I push the door closed with my hip and head around the hood of my car and up the large front steps toward the double front doors. I’ve never been to this house, but before Ashlyn and Dillon were a thing, Ashlyn would complain about how obnoxious Dillon’s place was. So it’s pretty damn funny, seeing how it’s now the place she calls home.
Pressing the doorbell, I wait for someone to answer then put my face to the glass on the side of the door to see if anyone is moving around inside. Ashlyn told me that she and Dillon would be hanging out at home most of the day and to just show up when I got off work, so I did. Now I’m wondering if I should’ve sent a text or called to make sure they’d be around. Hearing the door being unlocked, I pull myself from the glass, wondering how I didn’t spot anyone, and then smile at Dillon when I see it’s him.
“Hey,” he greets with a warm smile as he opens the door. “Ash has been waiting on pins and needles for you to get here.”
“I should have called to tell her that I was going to be a little longer than I thought. The shop was busy all day,” I say quietly as I step into the house.
“It’s all right,” he assures as he closes the door and guides me through a large foyer with two sets of stairs that lead to the second level and down a hallway. “She’ll be back in a second. She ran up to see if she could find her damn cat. He’s been in hiding all day.” We step into a large room that has bookshelves lining the walls and a fireplace in the middle of the room, with a comfy looking couch and two chairs surrounding it. “Do you want something to drink?”
“Water would be good,” I reply as I spot Ashlyn standing in the doorway with her ugly, angry-looking cat hissing in her arms. Staring at me, her eyes fill with tears, and I hear Dillon curse right before she disappears behind his large frame as he wraps his arms around her. Watching the hairless cat drop to the floor and run out of sight, I stand here not sure what to do with myself. I’ve been friends with Ashlyn for a long time now, and I’ve never felt awkward around her before, but suddenly, it feels like she’s a stranger.
“I’m okay,” I hear her say, and it takes a second, but Dillon lets her go only to take hold of her face between his hands.
“You sure?”
“Yeah,” she replies with a nod, and he leans down, pressing a kiss to her forehead before letting her go and turning to look at me.
“I’ll get you some water.”
“Thanks,” I say as he turns to leave. Looking at Ashlyn, I hold the flowers out awkwardly toward her. “These—”
I don’t have a chance to finish my sentence. Before I can do little more than open my arms to prepare myself, she rushes across the room, engulfing me in a hug that takes me back a step.
“I’m so sorry, Kim, so, so sorry,” she whispers, and tears instantly fill my eyes as her words rush through me, leaving me off-balance once more.
“You have nothing to be sorry about,” I murmur, closing my eyes. “None of this was your fault.”
“I just know you must hate me for not doing more, for not—”
“You were drugged and kidnapped from your bed in the middle of the night,” I cut her off, reminding both of us of what took place. Kelly had gone to that crazy man willingly. Ashlyn had not. She was an innocent victim. She didn’t deserve anything that happened. Not that Kelly deserved to be murdered by someone, but my sister’s lifestyle was full of careless acts that constantly got her into trouble.
“I just… I… I wish I could have done more,” she confides, pulling away, and I shake my head at her as she accepts the flowers from me. Setting the bouquet on the coffee table, she takes my hand and pulls me to the couch that is just as comfortable as it looks. Wiping away the wetness from my cheeks, I lift my head as Dillon comes back into the room offering us each a bottle of water before picking up the bouquet and leaving without a word.
Spinning off the top of the bottle, I take a sip before setting it down and looking at her. “Please don’t cry,” I plea quietly when I see tears falling from her eyes and down her cheeks in waves.
“I’m just glad you’re here.” She takes my hands and squeezes them tightly. “I thought you were dead. You don’t know how relieved I was when I found out that it was…” She pauses as the same guilt I’ve been feeling fills her eyes. Pulling in a breath, she moves her eyes past me and closes them. “I didn’t know her. I knew you had a twin, but I didn’t know it was her. I thought—”
“I know.” I squeeze her hands. “Did… did she say anything? Did you talk to her?” I ask, and her sorrowful eyes come back to me.