Prologue
New Year’s Eve
I only have one New Year’s resolution, and it’s the same I’ve had for six years now:
Make Blake Callahan fall madly, deeply, and uncontrollably in love with me.
Every year, I write it in big block letters on the first page of my new journal, and every year, I finish out December with those some words still taunting me. But not this time. This year, I’ve decided, I’m really going to make it happen.
“Happy New Year!”
Noise floods through my thoughts. The party is in full swing around me, hundreds of people crammed into the amazing beachfront mansion. Music plays so loud I can feel it in my chest, and everywhere I look, people are flirting and laughing, getting ready for that midnight kiss.
I check my phone. 11:47 p.m., thirteen minutes to midnight. My heart beats faster. If I’m going to do this, I need to do it now.
I pour myself a shot of bourbon from the bar and down it with a shudder. Then I scan the room, looking for Blake. I’ve managed to avoid running into him all night. I flew in from Paris late, and got ready with the girls. I told myself it was to make a big impact, but I know, deep down, it’s nerves.
I haven’t laid eyes on him in two years. Not since—
No, I stop myself, pouring another shot before I can relive the past. I knock it back, feeling the alcohol warm my bloodstream, making me brave.
It’s now or never.
I slip through the crowd, looking for his familiar glint of blonde hair and that chiseled jawline that always belonged on the front cover of a magazine. My nerves are rising. Don’t bottle it now, Zoey, I order myself. You can do this. I look harder, searching every face—
There he is.
My pulse kicks. He’s in the corner, leaning against the wall, looking illegally hot in a vintage white T-shirt and jeans that deserve an award for their services to womankind. He smiles, flashing a million-watt grin—at the adoring girl standing next to him.
My heart sinks. Humiliation crashes through me.
I thought he didn’t have a girlfriend!
I may have stayed away from Blake these past two years in Europe, but it’s been impossible to escape him. A rising star in Hollywood, he’s a gossip column favorite. And what I didn’t pick up by osmosis from the tabloids, Tegan would gossip about in our weekly Skype dates. Tegan Callahan: my best friend.
And Blake’s younger sister.
See, there’s a reason I’ve never made a move like this before. There’s too much on the line, risking our friendship—and the only real family I’ve ever had.
I’ve known Blake since I was fourteen. He’s only four years older than me, and that’s a lifetime when you’re an awkward, gangly teen. Not to mention the whole “best friend’s brother” part of the equation. I don’t know what Tegan would do if she ever found out about my feelings, I just know the risk has kept me silent all these years. The one time I even came close to revealing how I feel about him ended in disaster, so I swore I would never try again until I was grown up.
Until he could see me as a woman, and not just a little kid.
So, I tried to move on. I took a job at a fashion magazine in Paris and did everything I could to transform myself into a sophisticated, sexy Zoey Barnes. Not just for Blake, but for myself too. I needed to outrun the past and put a million miles between me and the miserable, nerdy girl I used to be, the one who was bullied mercilessly in school, and who never had a real boyfriend in her life.
I studied my glamorous co-workers like a hawk. I learned how to flirt, how to bring life to my limp blonde hair, how to look elegant even in jeans and a plain T-shirt. I went on dates with sexy Frenchmen, and traveled alone for the first time in my life. And it worked. Here I am: twenty-one. As grown up as I’ll ever be, dressed up in my sexiest black dress and heels, wearing red lipstick, and my hair carefully styled in tousled waves.
But I guess nothing’s changed after all, because even after all that, I’m still stuck staring longingly at him from across the room while he flirts with another girl.
The girl says something to Blake, batting her eyelashes at him. Rejection knots tightly in my chest. Stupid! Of course he’d have his pick of girls here tonight. He’s hot, charming, successful, famous… It seems like he barely goes five minutes without a new girlfriend.
I’m too late. I missed my chance.
But just as I’m about to go slink away and drown my sorrows in that tray of eclairs I saw by the kitchen, Blake gets a call on his cellphone. He says something apologetically to the girl, then backs away, ducking into the hallway to answer the call.
All is not lost!
I follow him down the hall. He’s still talking on the phone, frowning, so I hang back, watching as he lets himself out onto the deck that stretches across the back of the house. I feel kind of like a stalker, peering through the window as he paces, talking, but I need the timing to be just right. I don’t want any interruptions when I finally see him again.
Because tonight, everything is on the line.
I’m risking so much even making a move, but all I need is just one sign. A hint that my years-long crush isn’t for nothing. That now I’m grown up, Blake could possibly feel the same way about me—or I accept defeat and give it up for good.
I just hope I’m not going to make a total fool of myself. Again.
Finally, Blake hangs up his call. He leans out against the railings, looking out over the bay. Here’s my chance.
I take a deep breath, slide the doors open, and step out onto the deck.
New Year’s Eve
I only have one New Year’s resolution, and it’s the same I’ve had for six years now:
Make Blake Callahan fall madly, deeply, and uncontrollably in love with me.
Every year, I write it in big block letters on the first page of my new journal, and every year, I finish out December with those some words still taunting me. But not this time. This year, I’ve decided, I’m really going to make it happen.
“Happy New Year!”
Noise floods through my thoughts. The party is in full swing around me, hundreds of people crammed into the amazing beachfront mansion. Music plays so loud I can feel it in my chest, and everywhere I look, people are flirting and laughing, getting ready for that midnight kiss.
I check my phone. 11:47 p.m., thirteen minutes to midnight. My heart beats faster. If I’m going to do this, I need to do it now.
I pour myself a shot of bourbon from the bar and down it with a shudder. Then I scan the room, looking for Blake. I’ve managed to avoid running into him all night. I flew in from Paris late, and got ready with the girls. I told myself it was to make a big impact, but I know, deep down, it’s nerves.
I haven’t laid eyes on him in two years. Not since—
No, I stop myself, pouring another shot before I can relive the past. I knock it back, feeling the alcohol warm my bloodstream, making me brave.
It’s now or never.
I slip through the crowd, looking for his familiar glint of blonde hair and that chiseled jawline that always belonged on the front cover of a magazine. My nerves are rising. Don’t bottle it now, Zoey, I order myself. You can do this. I look harder, searching every face—
There he is.
My pulse kicks. He’s in the corner, leaning against the wall, looking illegally hot in a vintage white T-shirt and jeans that deserve an award for their services to womankind. He smiles, flashing a million-watt grin—at the adoring girl standing next to him.
My heart sinks. Humiliation crashes through me.
I thought he didn’t have a girlfriend!
I may have stayed away from Blake these past two years in Europe, but it’s been impossible to escape him. A rising star in Hollywood, he’s a gossip column favorite. And what I didn’t pick up by osmosis from the tabloids, Tegan would gossip about in our weekly Skype dates. Tegan Callahan: my best friend.
And Blake’s younger sister.
See, there’s a reason I’ve never made a move like this before. There’s too much on the line, risking our friendship—and the only real family I’ve ever had.
I’ve known Blake since I was fourteen. He’s only four years older than me, and that’s a lifetime when you’re an awkward, gangly teen. Not to mention the whole “best friend’s brother” part of the equation. I don’t know what Tegan would do if she ever found out about my feelings, I just know the risk has kept me silent all these years. The one time I even came close to revealing how I feel about him ended in disaster, so I swore I would never try again until I was grown up.
Until he could see me as a woman, and not just a little kid.
So, I tried to move on. I took a job at a fashion magazine in Paris and did everything I could to transform myself into a sophisticated, sexy Zoey Barnes. Not just for Blake, but for myself too. I needed to outrun the past and put a million miles between me and the miserable, nerdy girl I used to be, the one who was bullied mercilessly in school, and who never had a real boyfriend in her life.
I studied my glamorous co-workers like a hawk. I learned how to flirt, how to bring life to my limp blonde hair, how to look elegant even in jeans and a plain T-shirt. I went on dates with sexy Frenchmen, and traveled alone for the first time in my life. And it worked. Here I am: twenty-one. As grown up as I’ll ever be, dressed up in my sexiest black dress and heels, wearing red lipstick, and my hair carefully styled in tousled waves.
But I guess nothing’s changed after all, because even after all that, I’m still stuck staring longingly at him from across the room while he flirts with another girl.
The girl says something to Blake, batting her eyelashes at him. Rejection knots tightly in my chest. Stupid! Of course he’d have his pick of girls here tonight. He’s hot, charming, successful, famous… It seems like he barely goes five minutes without a new girlfriend.
I’m too late. I missed my chance.
But just as I’m about to go slink away and drown my sorrows in that tray of eclairs I saw by the kitchen, Blake gets a call on his cellphone. He says something apologetically to the girl, then backs away, ducking into the hallway to answer the call.
All is not lost!
I follow him down the hall. He’s still talking on the phone, frowning, so I hang back, watching as he lets himself out onto the deck that stretches across the back of the house. I feel kind of like a stalker, peering through the window as he paces, talking, but I need the timing to be just right. I don’t want any interruptions when I finally see him again.
Because tonight, everything is on the line.
I’m risking so much even making a move, but all I need is just one sign. A hint that my years-long crush isn’t for nothing. That now I’m grown up, Blake could possibly feel the same way about me—or I accept defeat and give it up for good.
I just hope I’m not going to make a total fool of myself. Again.
Finally, Blake hangs up his call. He leans out against the railings, looking out over the bay. Here’s my chance.
I take a deep breath, slide the doors open, and step out onto the deck.
