“Maybe later,” I glance back to Blake. “I need to make sure he doesn’t hurt himself.”
There’s silence.
“Zoey Barnes,” Tegan’s voice comes again, and this time there’s an edge to her voice that makes me freeze. “Do you want to tell me what the hell is going on between you and my brother?”
8.
Tegan’s question ricochets through me. My heart stops.
No!
“Nothing!” I blurt, whirling around. “Nothing’s going on.”
Tegan shakes her head. “No way, I know you better than this.” She keeps squinting at me, until suddenly her eyes widen in realization. “You like him!”
“Shh!” I hush her quickly, shooting an anxious glance back at Blake. “Don’t say that!”
“Don’t say it because it’s not true, or because you don’t want my brother to hear?” Tegan challenges me.
My cheeks turn hot. I look away for a moment, but I can’t lie. She’s my best friend. I meet her eyes again, and I guess my expression tells her everything she needs to know, because her mouth drops open.
“Zoey!”
“I know,” I cringe. “I’m sorry, but—”
Blake circuits past us again, this time at a respectable canter. “Look!” he cries triumphantly. “I’m doing it!”
“Uh huh,” Tegan says dismissively. “We’re grabbing some food,” she calls after him. “Try not to die while we’re gone!”
Tegan grabs my arm and drags me away. My mind races. I don’t know what to say to her, I don’t even know where to start. After all this time, my secret is finally out, but I’m terrified that she’ll hate me now.
This is what I’ve been afraid of, all these years. When the truth is revealed—and our friendship can never be the same again.
She doesn’t say a word until we’re inside the main ranch house. I look around, trying to delay the inevitable. It’s a big, open-plan space full of rustic wood furniture and bright sunshine. Brit is pouring coffee in the huge, blue-tiled kitchen. She looks up in surprise as Tegan drags me over and comes to a stop beside the counter.
“You’ve got some explaining to do,” Tegan says, folding her arms.
“I’m sorry!” I gulp. “I didn’t mean for this to happen. I didn’t even know he was your brother when we met, that first day of school,” I babble, “and then we got to be friends, and he was my first kiss… It was a total shock when I went to stay with you and saw him again. I couldn’t help it, I’m so sorry.”
I stop. Tegan’s angry expression slips. Now she just looks confused. “Wait, the first day of school?” she repeats. “That was years ago. You mean, you’ve been in love with him all this time?”
“Not in love,” I protest. “I mean, I don’t know what this is. It just…is.”
I realize Brit is looking back and forth between us like this is a sports match. She slides some coffee over to both of us.
“Don’t stop,” she says quickly. “This is just getting good.”
Tegan shakes her head, like she can’t believe what I’m saying. “All this time…?” she asks. “Why didn’t you say something?”
“Because I didn’t want it to be weird,” I explain. “And I know you hate girls trying to get to Dex and everyone through you. I didn’t want you thinking I was like that. You’re my best friend in the world!”
I wait, hoping with everything in my heart that she’s OK with this. I couldn’t take it if it came between us now, I would give up everything for her.
“Do you hate me?” I ask in a small voice.
Tegan rolls her eyes. “Of course I don’t hate you!” she says, coming over and giving me a fierce hug. I exhale in relief, holding her tight until she pulls away. “I just don’t understand it. Is this why you never really dated anyone?”
“Kind of,” I admit, still feeling foolish. “So, you’re OK with it?” I check.
“I guess…” Tegan still looks like she’s trying to process everything. “But, Blake? Really? He’s a total man-whore!”
“He’s not!” I protest.
“Please,” Tegan laughs. “He’s my brother, and I love him, but that man is such a dumbass when it comes to girls. He dates all these Hollywood bitches and breaks up with them after, like two weeks,” she explains, turning to Brit.
I remember we’re airing all this personal stuff in front of an almost-stranger. “I’m sorry,” I tell Brit. “We can talk about this later.”
“No way!” She beams. “I love it. My family drama isn’t enough, I want to hear about somebody else’s.”
I laugh at her gleeful expression. I like her already, and I can see the resemblance between her and Ryland: they both have a sarcastic wit and a mischievous glint in their dark eyes. And clearly, they both share the same priorities in life, because Brit immediately asks, “Who wants waffles?”
“Me!” Tegan and I answer in unison.
“Coming right up.” Brit pours batter into the waffle-maker and sets the bacon on to grill. “So, I have to ask—because I’m a nosy bitch, but you love me anyway,” she adds with a grin. “Has anything actually happened between you guys? Five years seems like a long time to carry a torch like that with nothing, you know, fanning the flames.” She winks.
There’s silence.
“Zoey Barnes,” Tegan’s voice comes again, and this time there’s an edge to her voice that makes me freeze. “Do you want to tell me what the hell is going on between you and my brother?”
8.
Tegan’s question ricochets through me. My heart stops.
No!
“Nothing!” I blurt, whirling around. “Nothing’s going on.”
Tegan shakes her head. “No way, I know you better than this.” She keeps squinting at me, until suddenly her eyes widen in realization. “You like him!”
“Shh!” I hush her quickly, shooting an anxious glance back at Blake. “Don’t say that!”
“Don’t say it because it’s not true, or because you don’t want my brother to hear?” Tegan challenges me.
My cheeks turn hot. I look away for a moment, but I can’t lie. She’s my best friend. I meet her eyes again, and I guess my expression tells her everything she needs to know, because her mouth drops open.
“Zoey!”
“I know,” I cringe. “I’m sorry, but—”
Blake circuits past us again, this time at a respectable canter. “Look!” he cries triumphantly. “I’m doing it!”
“Uh huh,” Tegan says dismissively. “We’re grabbing some food,” she calls after him. “Try not to die while we’re gone!”
Tegan grabs my arm and drags me away. My mind races. I don’t know what to say to her, I don’t even know where to start. After all this time, my secret is finally out, but I’m terrified that she’ll hate me now.
This is what I’ve been afraid of, all these years. When the truth is revealed—and our friendship can never be the same again.
She doesn’t say a word until we’re inside the main ranch house. I look around, trying to delay the inevitable. It’s a big, open-plan space full of rustic wood furniture and bright sunshine. Brit is pouring coffee in the huge, blue-tiled kitchen. She looks up in surprise as Tegan drags me over and comes to a stop beside the counter.
“You’ve got some explaining to do,” Tegan says, folding her arms.
“I’m sorry!” I gulp. “I didn’t mean for this to happen. I didn’t even know he was your brother when we met, that first day of school,” I babble, “and then we got to be friends, and he was my first kiss… It was a total shock when I went to stay with you and saw him again. I couldn’t help it, I’m so sorry.”
I stop. Tegan’s angry expression slips. Now she just looks confused. “Wait, the first day of school?” she repeats. “That was years ago. You mean, you’ve been in love with him all this time?”
“Not in love,” I protest. “I mean, I don’t know what this is. It just…is.”
I realize Brit is looking back and forth between us like this is a sports match. She slides some coffee over to both of us.
“Don’t stop,” she says quickly. “This is just getting good.”
Tegan shakes her head, like she can’t believe what I’m saying. “All this time…?” she asks. “Why didn’t you say something?”
“Because I didn’t want it to be weird,” I explain. “And I know you hate girls trying to get to Dex and everyone through you. I didn’t want you thinking I was like that. You’re my best friend in the world!”
I wait, hoping with everything in my heart that she’s OK with this. I couldn’t take it if it came between us now, I would give up everything for her.
“Do you hate me?” I ask in a small voice.
Tegan rolls her eyes. “Of course I don’t hate you!” she says, coming over and giving me a fierce hug. I exhale in relief, holding her tight until she pulls away. “I just don’t understand it. Is this why you never really dated anyone?”
“Kind of,” I admit, still feeling foolish. “So, you’re OK with it?” I check.
“I guess…” Tegan still looks like she’s trying to process everything. “But, Blake? Really? He’s a total man-whore!”
“He’s not!” I protest.
“Please,” Tegan laughs. “He’s my brother, and I love him, but that man is such a dumbass when it comes to girls. He dates all these Hollywood bitches and breaks up with them after, like two weeks,” she explains, turning to Brit.
I remember we’re airing all this personal stuff in front of an almost-stranger. “I’m sorry,” I tell Brit. “We can talk about this later.”
“No way!” She beams. “I love it. My family drama isn’t enough, I want to hear about somebody else’s.”
I laugh at her gleeful expression. I like her already, and I can see the resemblance between her and Ryland: they both have a sarcastic wit and a mischievous glint in their dark eyes. And clearly, they both share the same priorities in life, because Brit immediately asks, “Who wants waffles?”
“Me!” Tegan and I answer in unison.
“Coming right up.” Brit pours batter into the waffle-maker and sets the bacon on to grill. “So, I have to ask—because I’m a nosy bitch, but you love me anyway,” she adds with a grin. “Has anything actually happened between you guys? Five years seems like a long time to carry a torch like that with nothing, you know, fanning the flames.” She winks.
