“What if I promised you a late start tomorrow?” Dash continues, “Think you could sneak out for a drink? Maybe dinner?”
I stop, confused. What is he doing? Flirting is one thing, but a real date? If I say yes, will Blake think I like Dash? That I’m not interested in him? Or is this all part of the plan now, to surprise him with something he never expected me to do?
I open my mouth and hope I’m going to pick the right option.
“Sure, sounds like fun.”
Dash grins. “Great! We could head into the city after we wrap up here.”
“Good idea,” Blake interrupts. He moves between us, making me step back. “I could use a night out. I’ll tell the others, we can make it a field trip, right?” He slaps Dash on the back. “Team bonding and all.”
“Sure.” Dash gives me a smug look, like he planned this all along. “That OK with you, Zoey?”
“Of course it is.” Blake answers for me. “Zoey loves to party.”
I do?
Just for that, I give Dash a fluttery smile. “Why not?” I coo. “I’m sure we’ll have time to get to know each other a little better. I can’t wait.”
I realize I’m going way over the top here, but what the hell. I may as well go all in. I reach out and rest my hand lightly on Dash’s arm for a moment. “I better get back to work, sir,” I add with a wink. “See you later.”
I turn and walk away, making sure to put a swing in my hips. My heart is racing: on the surface I may have seemed totally relaxed, but inside, my stomach is tied up in knots.
I can’t believe I just did that!
And Blake fell for it, right on cue. I feel a brief pang of guilt that I’m playing games with him, but I push it aside. I’ve tried being direct, and that’s gotten me nowhere.
Maybe it’s time to play a little dirty to make him realize how it feels.
I pull out my cellphone. In emergencies, there’s only one person I ever need to talk to, and this counts as a Code Red alarm alright. Me, Dash—and Blake, out on the town tonight?
“Tegan?” I beg, when she picks up the phone. “I need help!”
Tegan meets me at the B&B after we wrap filming for the day. “Is this weird?” I check, worried, as I let her in. “Me asking you for help with your brother like this?”
“Medium-weird,” Tegan replies, following me into the sitting room. Right now, the downstairs is empty, and there’s a roaring fire in the grate: perfect to snuggle up on the couch for a girly gossip session. She tucks her legs up under her and pulls a blanket down from the back of the couch. “Just promise me now, if things work out, you won’t tell me anything about your sex life. I don’t want to know!”
“Eww, no!” I laugh. But the thought of actually going that far with Blake sends a new wave of nerves through me. I push it aside. “How’s Ryland and the house?” I ask, not wanting to be totally self-absorbed.
Tegan rolls her eyes affectionately. “He’s great. The house, not so much. I’m trying to think of it as an extended camping trip.”
I snort. “Because you always loved the great outdoors.”
“Hey!” Tegan hits me with a cushion. “You weren’t much better. Remember that outward bound hike they made us do in tenth grade?”
I groan at the memory. “Oh my God. It rained for two days, you twisted your ankle, and I got poison ivy!”
“And that bitch Lexi put bugs in our sleeping bags,” Tegan shudders. “You screamed so loud, you woke up the whole camp.”
“And then those hikers came to investigate because they thought we were all being murdered!” I laugh.
“Whatever happened to Lexi anyway?” Tegan muses. “If karma works at all, she’ll be washed up somewhere with a former football star, crying herself to sleep every night.”
“Please,” I snort. “Girls like her don’t get what they deserve, they keep waltzing through life being shiny and perfect and adored.”
Tegan gives me a sympathetic smile. “It was bad, wasn’t it? High school, I mean. I hated it, but, it was different for me. I had you, right from the start, and my brothers looking out for me. But you…”
I was all alone.
I tuck the blanket around me and gaze at the fire. You’d think after all these years, I would be past it somehow. I’ve worked so hard to transform myself, build a life I always wanted. But the truth is, sometimes I still feel as lonely and insecure as I did back then. I’ll walk into a room and have the nagging feeling like everyone is whispering about me; look around the set on lunch breaks and get hit by that same anxious panic that I don’t have anyone to sit with. My time abroad was good for me, it forced me out of my comfort zone, and gave me a blank slate to start fresh, but I don’t think anyone can wipe away the past completely: those scars will always be there, no matter how faded and healed.
“I should be over it, I know,” I admit quietly. “But…I don’t know. I spent my whole childhood on the outside. Following my parents around, and then being stuck at that school, before you came along.” I meet Tegan’s eyes. “It’s hard to shake so many years of loneliness, that’s all. Feeling different, feeling like I’m not good enough.”
“I know that one.” She matches my sad smile. I reach over and squeeze her hand, feeling a pang of regret. Tegan may have her life together now, but the past few years haven’t been easy on her. She gives me a quick smile. “It’s OK. But I understand, it’s not easy to move on, and leave all your old fears behind.”
I stop, confused. What is he doing? Flirting is one thing, but a real date? If I say yes, will Blake think I like Dash? That I’m not interested in him? Or is this all part of the plan now, to surprise him with something he never expected me to do?
I open my mouth and hope I’m going to pick the right option.
“Sure, sounds like fun.”
Dash grins. “Great! We could head into the city after we wrap up here.”
“Good idea,” Blake interrupts. He moves between us, making me step back. “I could use a night out. I’ll tell the others, we can make it a field trip, right?” He slaps Dash on the back. “Team bonding and all.”
“Sure.” Dash gives me a smug look, like he planned this all along. “That OK with you, Zoey?”
“Of course it is.” Blake answers for me. “Zoey loves to party.”
I do?
Just for that, I give Dash a fluttery smile. “Why not?” I coo. “I’m sure we’ll have time to get to know each other a little better. I can’t wait.”
I realize I’m going way over the top here, but what the hell. I may as well go all in. I reach out and rest my hand lightly on Dash’s arm for a moment. “I better get back to work, sir,” I add with a wink. “See you later.”
I turn and walk away, making sure to put a swing in my hips. My heart is racing: on the surface I may have seemed totally relaxed, but inside, my stomach is tied up in knots.
I can’t believe I just did that!
And Blake fell for it, right on cue. I feel a brief pang of guilt that I’m playing games with him, but I push it aside. I’ve tried being direct, and that’s gotten me nowhere.
Maybe it’s time to play a little dirty to make him realize how it feels.
I pull out my cellphone. In emergencies, there’s only one person I ever need to talk to, and this counts as a Code Red alarm alright. Me, Dash—and Blake, out on the town tonight?
“Tegan?” I beg, when she picks up the phone. “I need help!”
Tegan meets me at the B&B after we wrap filming for the day. “Is this weird?” I check, worried, as I let her in. “Me asking you for help with your brother like this?”
“Medium-weird,” Tegan replies, following me into the sitting room. Right now, the downstairs is empty, and there’s a roaring fire in the grate: perfect to snuggle up on the couch for a girly gossip session. She tucks her legs up under her and pulls a blanket down from the back of the couch. “Just promise me now, if things work out, you won’t tell me anything about your sex life. I don’t want to know!”
“Eww, no!” I laugh. But the thought of actually going that far with Blake sends a new wave of nerves through me. I push it aside. “How’s Ryland and the house?” I ask, not wanting to be totally self-absorbed.
Tegan rolls her eyes affectionately. “He’s great. The house, not so much. I’m trying to think of it as an extended camping trip.”
I snort. “Because you always loved the great outdoors.”
“Hey!” Tegan hits me with a cushion. “You weren’t much better. Remember that outward bound hike they made us do in tenth grade?”
I groan at the memory. “Oh my God. It rained for two days, you twisted your ankle, and I got poison ivy!”
“And that bitch Lexi put bugs in our sleeping bags,” Tegan shudders. “You screamed so loud, you woke up the whole camp.”
“And then those hikers came to investigate because they thought we were all being murdered!” I laugh.
“Whatever happened to Lexi anyway?” Tegan muses. “If karma works at all, she’ll be washed up somewhere with a former football star, crying herself to sleep every night.”
“Please,” I snort. “Girls like her don’t get what they deserve, they keep waltzing through life being shiny and perfect and adored.”
Tegan gives me a sympathetic smile. “It was bad, wasn’t it? High school, I mean. I hated it, but, it was different for me. I had you, right from the start, and my brothers looking out for me. But you…”
I was all alone.
I tuck the blanket around me and gaze at the fire. You’d think after all these years, I would be past it somehow. I’ve worked so hard to transform myself, build a life I always wanted. But the truth is, sometimes I still feel as lonely and insecure as I did back then. I’ll walk into a room and have the nagging feeling like everyone is whispering about me; look around the set on lunch breaks and get hit by that same anxious panic that I don’t have anyone to sit with. My time abroad was good for me, it forced me out of my comfort zone, and gave me a blank slate to start fresh, but I don’t think anyone can wipe away the past completely: those scars will always be there, no matter how faded and healed.
“I should be over it, I know,” I admit quietly. “But…I don’t know. I spent my whole childhood on the outside. Following my parents around, and then being stuck at that school, before you came along.” I meet Tegan’s eyes. “It’s hard to shake so many years of loneliness, that’s all. Feeling different, feeling like I’m not good enough.”
“I know that one.” She matches my sad smile. I reach over and squeeze her hand, feeling a pang of regret. Tegan may have her life together now, but the past few years haven’t been easy on her. She gives me a quick smile. “It’s OK. But I understand, it’s not easy to move on, and leave all your old fears behind.”
