Up In Smoke
Page 66

‘‘Ah, there it is. It is tradition in my mother’s family for the men to give their brides a necklet. This one was my great-great-grandmother’s. I think you’ll like it. It’s gold.’’
He opened the case, and instantly the smell of the gold hit me. It was a hundred times more potent than the gold dust he’d used earlier, leaving me feeling as if I had been zapped with electricity, every hair on my head standing on end as the rich, sensual, intoxicating scent of gold permeated my pores. I ripped my clothing off, actually ripped it off, flinging myself on Gabriel as I snatched up the thin square plates that had been strung together in a tight choker of gold, rubbing it between us as my body turned into one gigantic erogenous zone.
‘‘Gold,’’ I said, making a little purr of pleasure as the metal touched my bared flesh.
Gabriel’s smile was slow and knowing. ‘‘I thought you might like it, since you enjoyed the dust. Kind of makes you tingle, doesn’t it?’’
I licked him. ‘‘I want to rub it on you.’’
Instantly, he was naked, his eyes burning with a fire almost as bright as the one that he had started in me. ‘‘I’d rather you rub yourself on me. Well, perhaps both you and the gold.’’
‘‘Mmm.’’ I arched my back, trailing a red claw down his chest, the other hand dragging the gold necklet across his collarbone. I kissed the path the gold had followed, tasting both Gabriel and the arousing bite of gold. I wanted him, all of him, right then, and there was nothing or no one who could stop me. He was my mate, we had gold, and there was only one way things were going to end.
‘‘Take me,’’ I demanded, flinging myself on him and wrapping my legs around his hips. The impact of me slamming into him so unexpectedly resulted in him taking a couple of steps backwards until he bumped up against a table. He sat down on it suddenly, impaling me as he did so.
I squealed with absolute pleasure at the invasion, squirming against him, the sleek silver scales on his chest sliding against my own in a sensation so erotic, my mind was completely consumed with thoughts of nothing but joining body and soul with him, our dragon essences bound together until there was no discerning a difference.
The last little fragment of my true self gave a hopeless cry of defeat, checking the dragon shard for a moment.
‘‘Mayling, don’t stop now,’’ Gabriel murmured, his mouth busy with my breast as I rode him, my hips moving in a rhythm that seemed to sing with the beauty of our act.
But it wasn’t beautiful, not when it wasn’t really me who was there with him. With a cry of pain that went soul deep, I tore myself off of him, backing away with my arms wrapped around myself.
‘‘May?’’ Gabriel’s face was a study in confusion. ‘‘What’s wrong?’’
I sank to my knees, rocking with pain and regret and confusion, not sure of what I wanted anymore, not sure even of whether my thoughts were my own.
‘‘Please, little bird. Tell me what I’ve done.’’ Gabriel’s hands were warm on my knees as I rocked silently, wishing things had happened differently.
‘‘May. Please.’’
I couldn’t ignore the pain in his voice. He thought it was something he’d done, and I couldn’t let him continue to think that.
‘‘Put the necklace away,’’ I said, the scent of it driving me almost insane with desire.
He said nothing but returned it to the box, locking it away in the safe.
‘‘It’s the dragon shard,’’ I said, looking up at him as he returned to me. My heart was so filled with regret, I thought it might break.
A little frown appeared between his brows. ‘‘You’re still worried about that? I’ve told you that you will learn the ways—’’
‘‘I don’t want to,’’ I interrupted with a wail, taking his hands and tugging him down to me. ‘‘Don’t you see? I don’t want to be a dragon, Gabriel! I never did! But the shard is too strong for me. It’s taking over, and every time we make love, it gains a little more ground. It’s not going to take much more and it’ll have taken over all of me!’’
‘‘It’s taking you over?’’ He touched one of my scarlet claws. ‘‘You mean physically? That will end when the shard is placed in another phylactery.’’
‘‘No, not just physically. It’s taking over my emotions, too! Haven’t you noticed? I can’t believe you haven’t noticed. Dear gods, man, I’m almost yelling, and as you pointed out, I never yell! Cyrene yells, but I don’t.’’
He looked thoughtful for a moment. ‘‘You have been a little . . . er . . . passionate the last few days.’’
‘‘I was passionate about you before the phylactery exploded. But the shard is doing more than just making me want you—it’s changing my emotions, changing me, and Gabriel, what if I don’t change back when the shard is gone? What if we can’t get rid of it?’’
He opened his mouth to protest, but stopped. ‘‘I wish I could assure you that your fears are unfounded, but I don’t know the answer to your questions.’’
‘‘You see?’’ I said, all but sobbing. ‘‘I can’t make love to you, Gabriel. I want to, but not at the cost of losing the last little bit of me. I don’t want to be a dragon. I may not be perfect, or even remotely close to that, but I was happy being me. I’m sorry. I’m really, really sorry.’’
He laughed, and for a moment I wanted to punch him. But then a tiny shred of common sense rose up to point out the unlikelihood of him mocking my concerns. ‘‘Mayling, making love to you will remain at the top of my daily list of things to do, but as I assured you once before, I am not a beast. If you require a little space to put things into perspective, then I will gladly give it to you.’’ He glanced down at his erection. ‘‘It will not be easy, but if you wish to remain chaste for a bit, I will not force myself upon you.’’
‘‘I didn’t mean I was sorry that I couldn’t make love to you,’’ I said, forlorn knowledge making me want to burst into tears. I swallowed back a painful lump. ‘‘I meant I’m sorry that I can’t be the dragon you obviously want.’’