Valley of Silence
Page 45

“Okay.”
“Aren’t you going to berate and damn Cian for seducing an innocent?”
Blair ran her tongue over her teeth. “You were in his room. I don’t think luring you in there to look at his etchings is his style.”
Moira slapped a hand to the table with satisfaction. “There! I knew a woman would have more sense—and a bit more respect for my own wiles. And you?” She lifted her eyebrows at Glenna. “Have you nothing to say about it?”
“You’re both going to be hurt, and you both know it already. So I’ll say I hope you’re both able to give and take whatever happiness you can, while you can.”
“Thanks.”
“Are you all right?” Glenna asked. “The first time is often difficult or a little disappointing.”
Now Moira smiled fully. “It was beautiful, and thrilling, and more than I imagined. Nothing I’d played through my mind was near the truth of it.”
“A guy isn’t good at it after a few hundred years’ practice,” Blair speculated. “He’d be hopeless. And Larkin walked in when... he must’ve flipped.”
“He punched Cian in the face, but they’ve made it up now. As men do when they pound each other. We’ve agreed that my choice of bedmate is mine, and moved on.”
There was a moment of unified silence as all three women rolled their eyes.
“There’s little time left before we leave the safety of this place. And, we can hope, plenty of time after Samhain to debate my choices.”
“Then I’ll move on, too,” Blair told her. “Larkin and I—after considerable browbeating by yours truly—are heading out in a couple of hours to see if we can wrangle ourselves some dragons. He’s still not sold on the idea, but he’s agreed we’ll give it a shot.”
“If it’s possible, it would be a great advantage for us.” Propping her chin on her fist, Moira turned it over in her mind. “I think we could cull out those we feel may not be as strong on the field. If they could ride... archers in the air.”
“Flaming arrows,” Blair said with a nod. “Their aim doesn’t have to be on the money.”
“As long as they don’t shoot the home team,” Glenna finished. “There isn’t much time left to train, but it’s worth the try.”
“Fire, aye,” Moira agreed. “It’s a strong weapon—stronger yet coming from the air. A pity you can’t charm the sun onto the tip of an arrow, Glenna, then this would be done.”
“I’m going to see if I can move Larkin along.” Blair got to her feet, hesitated. “You know, my first time, I was seventeen. The guy, he was in a hurry, and left me thinking at the end: So this is it? BFD. Something to be said for being initiated by someone who knows what he’s doing, and has a sense of style.”
“There is.” Moira’s smile was slow and satisfied. “There certainly is.” She sensed Blair and Glenna exchange another look over her head, so continued to drink her tea as Blair left the room.
“Do you love him, Moira?”
“I think there’s a part of me, inside me, that’s waited all my life to feel what I feel for him. What my mother felt for my father in the short time they had. What I know you feel for Hoyt. Do you think I only imagine it’s love because of what he is?”
“No, no, I don’t. I have strong, genuine feelings for him myself. They have everything to do with who he is. But, Moira, you know you won’t be able to have a life with him. That is because of what he is. What neither of you can change any more than the sun can fly on an arrow.”
“I listened to everything he and Blair have told us about... we’ll say his species.” And read, Moira thought, countless volumes of fact and lore. “I know he’ll never age. He’ll be forever as he was in that moment before he was changed. Young and strong and vital. I will change. Grow old, frailer, gray and lined. I’ll have sickness, and he never will.”
She rose now to walk to a window and the slant of sunlight. “Even if he loved as I love, it’s no life for either of us. He can’t stand here as I am now and feel the sun warm on my face. All we’d have is the dark. He can’t have children. So I won’t be able to take away from this even that much of him. I might think, just a year together, or five, or ten. Just that much. I might think and wish for that,” she murmured. “But however selfish my own needs might be, I have a duty.”
She turned back. “He could never stay here, and I can never go.”
“When I fell in love with Hoyt, and believed that we’d never be able to be together, it broke my heart every day.”
“But still, you loved him.”
“But still I loved him.”
Moira stood with the sun slanting at her back, glinting on her crown. “Morrigan said this is the time of knowing. I know my life would be less if I didn’t love him. The more life, the longer and harder we’ll fight to keep it. So, I have another weapon inside me. And I’ll use it.”
M oira discovered a long day of teaching children and the old how to defend themselves and each other from monsters was more tiring than hours of sweaty physical training. She hadn’t known how hard it would be to tell a child that monsters were real after all.
Her head ached from the questions, and her heart was bruised from the fear she’d seen.
She stepped out into the garden for some air, and to check the sky, again, for Larkin and Blair’s return.
“They’ll be back before sunset.”
She whirled at the sound of Cian’s voice. “What are you doing? It’s still day.”
“Shade’s deep here this time of day.” Still, he leaned back against the stones, well out of direct light. “It’s a pretty spot, a quiet one. And sooner or later, you end up here for a few minutes.”
“So, you’ve studied my habits.”
“It passes the time.”
“Glenna and I have been with the children and the old ones, teaching them how to defend themselves if there’s an attack here after we leave. We can’t spare many of the able-bodied to hold the castle.”
“The gates stay locked. Hoyt and Glenna will add a layer of protection. They’ll be safe enough.”
“And if we lose?”