Vampire Brat
Chapter Two THUNDER

    W anda did not believe that I had seen a werewolf. I found her in the boiler room eating a whole bag of gummy bears and warming her hands on the boiler. She was not looking very hard for Pusskins if you ask me. Anyway, I rushed in, covered with bat poo, and Wanda did not look at all pleased to see me. "Ugh, " she said, jumping away.
    "Don't get that stuff all over me. Or the boiler. Mom will be really annoyed. " Wanda's mother, Brenda, takes care of the boiler. She does it extremely well and the boiler room is very nice now. The boiler is polished, the floor is swept, and there is a little line of coal buckets and an alarm clock. Every three hours the alarm clock rings and either Barry or Brenda feeds the boiler with a bucket of coal. Sometimes even Uncle Drac does it, but Aunt Tabby does not, which I think is a good thing because Aunt Tabby and boilers do not mix. But that day the boiler room was not so great, as Brenda had been looking for Pusskins, and the boiler was mak- ing funny gurgling noises--or maybe it was Wanda.
    I made Wanda give me some gummy bears and told her all about the growling and the werewolf eyes. But she did not believe me. "But, Araminta, " she said in the voice she uses for telling me something that she thinks I don't know. "Everyone knows that were- wolves are just normal people during the day, so it can't be a werewolf. And if there is a werewolf in Spookie House it is going to be someone who lives here. Like your aunt Tabitha--or you. In fact, " she said,looking at me in a funny way, "all things considered, it probably is you. " It is tough always having to explain things to Wanda but I've gotten used to it. "Look, Wanda, " I said very patiently, "obviously it is not me. I would know if I was a werewolf, wouldn't I? And actually, if I was a werewolf I do not think you would still be around. I think I would have eaten you for supper before now. " Wanda did not answer. She stuffed another handful of gummy bears in her mouth and didn't offer me any. So I continued telling her about the werewolf. "It was horrible. You would have been really scared. It growled and it had big yellow fangs and lots of matted fur. And claws. And it drooled. Tons of drool. All over the floor. " Although I hadn't actually seen all that stuff, that is what the pictures in my Q Werewolf Spotter's Handbook showed, so it must have looked like that.
    Wanda began to look a bit scared. "Really?" she asked, gulping down the last gummy bear. I nodded. "Supposing he creeps up on us here, " she whispered, glancing around. I hadn't really thought of that. I had figured that Barry and his pile of bat poo would be enough to keep any werewolf at bay, but I was beginning to think it would be nice to get out of the basement just in case. And then some- thing really spooky happened. There was a great big bang and all the lights flickered off and on, off and on. Wanda screamed and we both ran. We bumped into Brenda, who was coming down the basement stairs.
    "Wanda, Araminta, " she said, "there's the most awful thunderstorm. Come into the kitchen where it's safe. " Brenda grabbed hold of us both and took us into the third-kitchen- on-the-right-just-around-the-corner-past- the-boiler-room. Before we knew it we were sitting at the table eating Brenda's egg and let- tuce sandwiches--except the lettuce in mine had mysteriously managed to escape and fall on the floor. Lettuce in Spookie House always tastes of bat poo, because that is what Aunt Tabby feeds her lettuces with. Yuck. And now that Brenda keeps a bunch of weird chickens in the backyard, all the sandwiches she makes have egg in them. Egg and banana, egg and jelly, egg and peanut butter, egg and frog-- well, not yet, but it is only a matter of time.
    I only like egg sandwiches if I can have some cheese and onion chips with them to take the eggy taste away, so I went to get a bag from my chip cupboard but they were all gone. "Whararyoudoing?" said Wanda, spraying bits of egg all over the table. "Don't spray egg all over the table, dear, " said Brenda. "I am looking for my chips, " I said frostily. "Oh,they're not there, " said Wanda, who often likes to tell me things that are what Uncle Drac calls totally obvious. "You have been feeding them to Pusskins again, haven't you?" I said. "Wanda, do you know where Pusskins is?" asked Brenda, looking a bit suspicious. She was getting as bad as Barry. "No, I don't, " said Wanda. "Araminta is fib- bing as usual. "
    "I am not. " "Yes, you are. " "No, I am not. " "Girls, girls, " said Brenda, "please stop fighting. Oh my goodness!" A huge crash of thunder shook the house, all the lights went off, and a ghostly phone bell started to ring . . . And ring . . . And ring. Brenda and Wanda dived under the table, but I do not dive under tables. "I am going upstairs, " I told them, "to watch the lightning. " Halfway up the big stairs from the hall I met Sir Horace. He was on the landing. Sir Horace is my most favorite ghost ever. We do have another one, but he is not much fun in my opinion, although Wanda likes him.
    His name is Edmund and he lives in the secret passage behind the boiler. But Sir Horace is wonderful. He lives in an old suit of armor and he just hangs around the house. He is not good at climbing stairs and he forgets that it takes him days to get all the way up-- although sometimes, by mistake,he goes down really fast. I stopped beside Sir Horace, tapped very quietly on his armor, and said, "Are you awake?" Sir Horace spends a lot of time doz- ing and it is a good idea not to surprise him when he is asleep. He often wakes up with a jump and then parts of his armor fall off. You do not want parts of Sir Horace to fall off halfway up the stairs. Last week, when he was only two steps from the top, the spring hold-ing his left knee together pinged out, his leg dropped off, and he fell all the way down to the bottom.
    It was not my fault at all, I just happened to be walking past at the time, but no one believed me. I spent the rest of the day putting Sir Horace back together again. "Good morning, Miss Spookie. " Sir Horace's booming voice came out from his helmet. "It's not morning anymore, Sir Horace. It's nearly dinner time now, " I said. "Is it really? How time flies when you're going upstairs. " "Sir Horace, " I said, very quickly, as Sir Horace does go on a bit and it is best to get your question in early. "Have you seen a were- wolf around here?" There was another crash of thunder and the lights came back on, flickered, and then went off again. "A what wolf?" asked Sir Horace.
    "A werewolf. " "Where? Ah, indeed, that is the question,Miss Spookie. Where does one find wolves nowadays? In my time we used to have them howling at the castle gates on a cold winter's night. Terrible noise it was. Quite froze the blood . . . " "Wow. Did it really, Sir Horace?" "Yes, it most certainly did, Miss Spookie. Ah, those were the days. You know I once found an abandoned wolf cub?" "Did you really?" Now that was interesting. "Indeed I did, Miss Spookie. It had injured its leg and been deserted by the wolf pack. I took it home and raised it myself. A wonderful companion. . . . " Sir Horace sighed like he always does when he remembers the old days, which in his case are extremely old days. "Ah well, " he said, "I must be getting along. "
    He suddenly stuck one foot out and put it on the next step. He looked very wobbly. "Would you like some help, Sir Horace?" I asked. "That would be most welcome, Miss Spookie, " said Sir Horace in a smiley kind of voice. So I took his right arm--very care- fully--and we got to the top of the stairs in no time at all. "Along here, if you please, Miss Spookie, " said Sir Horace, so I walked along with him to the little secret door under the attic stairs. Now I knew where Sir Horace was head- ing--he was going to his secret room. I helped him open the door and watched as he squeezed through, then I closed the door behind him.
    I listened to his footsteps fading away down the secret passage that runs behind the wooden paneling on the wall, and then a loud crash of thunder reminded me Q that I had an urgent appointment with some lightning. I ran down the corridor, through two moldy curtains, and past the monster bathroom. I zoomed along the zigzag passage, jumped over the trapdoor to nowhere, climbed up the old apple ladder and scrambled onto the ledge. And there I was, outside the old door to the haunted turret. I turned the key and went inside.