Vicious Grace
Page 39

“That’s where it is,” David said, pointing down the stairs. “That’s where I found it.”
“Okay,” I said, and gestured back at the open steel door. “What can we do about getting that door closed and locked? I don’t know how long this is going to take, but I don’t want fifty pissed-off orderlies breaking in on us when the thing figures out what we’re doing.”
“I’ll see what I can do,” Aubrey said.
“Are there lights down there?” Ex said, squinting down into the gloom.
“There were,” David said. “They didn’t do too well when I broke the concrete, though. I had a lamp and a couple cans of fuel from one of these rooms, though.”
Ex motioned roughly that David should follow him and stalked away toward the storage rooms. Chogyi Jake sat at the top of the stairway, looking down. He was pale and wan. I had the urge to kiss his head, but instead I took out my cell phone and let it complain that it couldn’t connect to the satellite. I went down the stairs by the electric candlelight of its display. Kim followed close behind, her footsteps soft and careful.
The ward was in ruins. Smoke clung to the walls like it was afraid to let go. Old boxes—wood, not cardboard—lay shattered on the ground, ancient rolls of yellowed gauze spilling out of the remains. A tangle of metal and wire bore a Profexray placard. Chunks of concrete were piled up among the boxes. A shovel leaned against the wall. The air smelled like overheated metal and fresh clay. I’d expected something richer. More like soil.
“Lot of work,” Kim said.
“He was motivated,” I said.
“And how are you doing?”
I turned and stared at her. In the dim light of my cell phone, she looked like her own ghost. There was no color to her face or hair or clothes. The cut on her lip where the rider’s minions had beaten her looked black, the bruise around it gray. Her eyes glowed, but only with reflected light. I didn’t know if the flood rising up in me was anger or laughter or raw disbelief.
“Sorry,” she said. “Stupid question.”
“Yeah, well,” I said, turning away.
“I meant to say I’m sorry. All of this is my fault. I was drunk and shooting my mouth off. I should have known better.”
“Don’t sweat it,” I said stepping forward. The shadows twisted and danced every time I moved. A yawning mouth of earth, a thick pile of pale dirt. Crushed limestone at a guess. And only a couple of feet below the floor of the shattered concrete and twisted rebar, the box. The coffin. Its black lid was off, a collection of scattered bones catching the light; rib and skull, vertebrae and femur. The mortal remains of the architect. Part of me had hoped to see it in splinters, unusable. No such luck. Or maybe it wasn’t luck. Maybe the Invisible College had built the coffin to withstand the worst they could imagine. A coffin to last until Judgment Day.
I squatted at the edge of the hole. It was too much work. Even if David had known exactly where to go, exactly how to generate an explosion that would shatter the floor, getting through the steel and concrete rubble would have been the work of days, not hours. The reinforcing steel bars alone would have . . .
I put my hand on one, and it snapped like a twig. The metal was brittle. Fragile. Rotten from being too close to the rider for too many years. I took a chunk of concrete and rubbed it between my fingers, feeling it come apart in my grip. The ward was more than destroyed, it was inflamed. The ground itself had been festering for half a century, rejecting the rider, pushing it out like flesh rejecting a splinter. The thought left me a little nauseated.
“We need to clear the air,” Kim said, and for a few seconds I thought she meant that the smell of smoke was overpowering. Then I understood.
“We really don’t,” I said.
“We’re about to get into a very dangerous piece of magic,” Kim said. “Group work. All of us together. If we’re going in fractured and conflicted, it will break the circle. You wanted me to forgive you, and I . . . well, I didn’t exactly get around to it. So here. You didn’t do anything wrong. I don’t hold anything that happened against you, and I really, sincerely want you to succeed and be happy. I don’t think you need it, but if you still want my forgiveness, you’ve got it.”
She nodded once, more to herself than to me. She’d gotten through the words. I wondered when she’d started rehearsing them. I held up my hand to her. She hesitated for a moment, then took it. Her fingers were cold and thinner than I expected. I drew her down to sit next to me. Just beneath us, the coffin seemed to suck away the light. Nomen mihi Legio est, quia multi sumus shone on its side.
“I broke up with him,” I said.
“This isn’t about Aubrey,” she said.
“No, really,” I said. “I broke up with him. Upstairs. Before the rider even got out.”
“Jayné,” Kim said. Her voice was taking on a tone of real annoyance. “This isn’t. About. Aubrey. Okay?”
“Then what?”
She shook her head, a tiny movement that meant exhaustion and morbid amusement and sadness all at the same time.
“It’s about me letting go of all the things that I could have done with my life and didn’t,” she said. “Aubrey’s only one entry on that list.”
I nodded. Ex’s voice came from above, a bark of pleasure and triumph. At a guess, he’d gotten a lantern working.
“It’s very strange, thinking about what happened as rape,” Kim said. I was amazed that she could sound so calm. So clinical. “I mean, I understand that it was. No consent means no consent, and it explains . . . how it felt. Not knowing that until years after the fact makes it strange. I wonder if it would have been easier if I’d been aware of it at the time.”
“You think?”
“I don’t know,” she said. “But it helps everything that came after it make sense. I had nightmares for years. I’d wake up convinced there was someone in the apartment. A man who was going to . . . Anyway, I didn’t put that together with Eric until now. And now, it seems obvious.”
“I’m sorry for what he did to you,” I said. “Not repentant. Just . . . sorry.”
“That’s more than enough,” Kim said. “That’s fine.”
The rage in my heart was starting to flutter, the fire going out. I looked down at the coffin. The pale light glittered off the black surface. The bones seemed alien and unreal. They had more in common with rock than with human flesh and frailty. For a second, I felt the swelling, oceanic sorrow behind my own anger. A presentiment of what was going to come.
“I don’t know if I can do this,” I said.
“Chogyi Jake, you mean?”
I’ve got the boy, boy, boy, boy down in the dark. Down in the dark he’ll stay.
“How long do you think he was alive?” I asked, motioning toward the bones with my chin.
“Not long,” Kim said. “Hours. Not more than a day, even with the rider. You can see where they carved sigils all along the inside. There?”
I did see them, now that she pointed them out. Hairline swirls and strokes that covered the inside of the coffin so thickly they became a texture. I imagined Declan Souder’s hands clawing at those sigils in the darkness, screaming as the air grew thicker and closer and the rider raged, tearing through his mind. I wondered if he’d known, even as he designed the prison, that he’d end here, deep beneath it. I suspected that he had.
“I’m not going to be okay after this,” I said.
“I know.”
“Do we have to do it?”
“Yes, dear,” Kim said. “We do.”
• • •
THE LOCK on the main door to the shelter was bent past repair, but Aubrey had managed a decent barricade, two of the bunks turned on their sides and stacked one on top of the other, then the spaces where bodies would have slept filled with boxes and crates, the overall mass growing past the point where the door could be forced. Hopefully. Ex and David had encountered less luck.
“We have lights,” Ex said. “The interment box is solid. It barely needed anything. And I salvaged enough straight nails from those boxes, I’m fairly sure we can seal the coffin at all the critical points.”
“That sounds good,” I said.
“But we don’t have a hammer.”
“What about a chunk of the concrete from down there?” David said. “There were some pretty decent-sized bits.”
“Check,” I said, “but be careful. A lot of it’s crumbling. It might crack the cement instead of driving the nail.”
Ex shook his head, but he said, “I’ll look.”
“There’s an old X-ray machine down there too,” I said. “It might have something heavy enough to use. A bar or something.”
Below us, Aubrey and Kim were clearing debris away from the bared earth so that we could stand at the cardinal points: Kim to the east, Aubrey to the north, Ex to the west, and I’d take south. Chogyi Jake would be in the middle, with David standing guard to see that nothing interrupted. I could hear their voices coming up the stairway. Chogyi Jake was still sitting at the head of the stairs, his eyes closed, his head resting against the handrail’s pole. He looked pale and sick and still, but his rib cage worked in hard, sudden bursts. Some meditation I’d never been taught. Something for warriors, maybe. For someone preparing to die.
I couldn’t imagine what was going on in his head, so I tried not to think about it. It would only wind up with me going over, intruding, talking to him. If I thought I had anything that might comfort him, I’d have done it, but I only would have been trying to make him comfort me. David looked from him to me and then down.
“What else can I do?” he asked.
“Nothing,” I said. “We’ll start soon. It’ll be over.”
“Yeah,” he said. “It’s almost six o’clock.”