Walk the Edge
Page 86
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“I don’t know. I wasn’t supposed to know about Razor going after the Riot, but I overheard Oz and Eli talking about it when they visited me in Florida. It drives me freaking insane, but this club is super secretive and that’s not going to change. I mean, for God’s sake, I consider Razor a friend and he was shot and no one told me.”
“If it isn’t safe, then why are you here?”
Emily gestures to the dresser and on it are two wooden boxes. “Those are Olivia’s ashes. She was like a mom to Oz and Razor, but she was my biological grandmother. She left us instructions of what she wants us to do with her remains. One box is for me and Oz and the other is for Razor. Her letter to me and Oz said that we had to spread her ashes in Kentucky. Eli let me come because I told him we were being disrespectful to his mother if we pushed it out any further.”
I walk over to the boxes and take an interest in the one that has an envelope with Razor’s name resting on top of it. “What is Razor supposed to do with the ashes?”
“No one knows. Not even Razor. Olivia left him the bylaws of the club and said when he figured it out, he would know what to do with her ashes. What’s even odder is that Oz and I received our letter after she passed, but she had specific instructions for when Razor was to get his. He received his a few weeks ago and it was related to some sort of event that no one will tell me about. Olivia was awesome, but she could be weird.”
I note the wistful tone in her voice—the same one Razor has when he speaks of Olivia. She must have been someone truly amazing. Behind the box is a stack of papers stapled together and I tilt my head. “Are these the bylaws?”
“Yes, but we need to go. Razor will be looking for you and Oz will be pissed if he finds out I’m telling you this.”
A screeching of a screen door, boots down a hallway, and Emily is pleading, but my focus is on the page. The first code’s a cipher...a key to unlock something else...
Razor involved me with the code because a detective brought him a file on his mother. Olivia—a woman he admitted he loved and who loved him in return, a woman married to the president of this club—this Olivia left bylaws to be given to him after a specific event. An event where Razor was trying to discover what happened to his mother?
I snatch the bylaws off the dresser and Emily rushes toward me. “What are you doing? I know you’re new, but you cannot read those. Seriously, they will freak out and—”
“I need a printer.” I fish my cell out of my pocket. “I have a file and I need to print it.”
Emily squints in confusion and there’s no way she can understand. No one knows what this is about and I won’t tell her, but even worse, this isn’t only about Razor anymore. This is also about me. I’ve seen the code. It’s there in my head, when I sleep, when I eat. A constant nagging.
The door to the room opens, Razor enters, and when he spots what’s in my hands, he warily eyes Emily, then me. I show him my cell. “She needs to go, and I need a printer. Full page. Eight-by-ten. Nothing smaller. Nothing bigger. This has to be precise.”
A shadow crosses his face as he notices the picture I had promised to delete off my phone. “Get out, Emily.”
I don’t cower at the pure anger radiating from Razor, but Emily is out the door in seconds. I maintain eye contact with Razor, and he steps closer, towering over me as if he could will me into compliance. He can glower, he can yell, but this is Razor and he could never hurt me because he is built to the core to protect.
“I can crack this code, but I need this printed out.”
“This isn’t a game. It’s not a crossword puzzle or a seek-and-find. What’s on your phone is a powder keg and I will not allow you to be a casualty of the explosion.”
My heart aches at the pain in his eyes. He’s lost so much, more than I could ever comprehend. “No one will know I cracked this unless you tell or I tell, and we’re both capable of keeping secrets.”
Razor’s head falls back and he stares at the ceiling. A battle wages inside him between protecting me and gaining the answers he craves. “You don’t understand how bad this is.”
“I don’t understand. None of it, but I understand me. You think I can stop hunting for a solution, but I can’t. This code is in my brain and the wheels won’t stop, not even for you.”
I take his hand and squeeze it. “You know more about me than anyone else. I’ve told you more, told you secrets about my brain, and while you’re the one that understands me better than anyone, you still don’t truly understand. I’m not able to stop what happens in my mind. I’ll go crazy if I don’t solve this, so you can help me or you can fight me, but here’s the thing—the reason we get along so well is because you’re like me. Once something’s in our brain, it doesn’t stop.”
Razor’s shaking his head as he cups my face. There’s a desperation in his voice I’ve never heard. “It’s not the same. My mind is nothing like yours, and you’re right, I don’t fully understand, but I can’t drag you any further into this. I can’t lose you.”
I lay my hands over his. “You won’t. Because where my brain won’t stop, you can’t stop protecting the people you care for. I can crack this code, Razor, and I can do it knowing that whatever it is you’re scared of, you will never let it touch me. I trust you.”
Razor searches my eyes for an answer to a question he has yet to pose. “Stay here. I mean it, Breanna. You don’t move a foot.” He yanks the bylaws from my hands and he’s out the door.
“If it isn’t safe, then why are you here?”
Emily gestures to the dresser and on it are two wooden boxes. “Those are Olivia’s ashes. She was like a mom to Oz and Razor, but she was my biological grandmother. She left us instructions of what she wants us to do with her remains. One box is for me and Oz and the other is for Razor. Her letter to me and Oz said that we had to spread her ashes in Kentucky. Eli let me come because I told him we were being disrespectful to his mother if we pushed it out any further.”
I walk over to the boxes and take an interest in the one that has an envelope with Razor’s name resting on top of it. “What is Razor supposed to do with the ashes?”
“No one knows. Not even Razor. Olivia left him the bylaws of the club and said when he figured it out, he would know what to do with her ashes. What’s even odder is that Oz and I received our letter after she passed, but she had specific instructions for when Razor was to get his. He received his a few weeks ago and it was related to some sort of event that no one will tell me about. Olivia was awesome, but she could be weird.”
I note the wistful tone in her voice—the same one Razor has when he speaks of Olivia. She must have been someone truly amazing. Behind the box is a stack of papers stapled together and I tilt my head. “Are these the bylaws?”
“Yes, but we need to go. Razor will be looking for you and Oz will be pissed if he finds out I’m telling you this.”
A screeching of a screen door, boots down a hallway, and Emily is pleading, but my focus is on the page. The first code’s a cipher...a key to unlock something else...
Razor involved me with the code because a detective brought him a file on his mother. Olivia—a woman he admitted he loved and who loved him in return, a woman married to the president of this club—this Olivia left bylaws to be given to him after a specific event. An event where Razor was trying to discover what happened to his mother?
I snatch the bylaws off the dresser and Emily rushes toward me. “What are you doing? I know you’re new, but you cannot read those. Seriously, they will freak out and—”
“I need a printer.” I fish my cell out of my pocket. “I have a file and I need to print it.”
Emily squints in confusion and there’s no way she can understand. No one knows what this is about and I won’t tell her, but even worse, this isn’t only about Razor anymore. This is also about me. I’ve seen the code. It’s there in my head, when I sleep, when I eat. A constant nagging.
The door to the room opens, Razor enters, and when he spots what’s in my hands, he warily eyes Emily, then me. I show him my cell. “She needs to go, and I need a printer. Full page. Eight-by-ten. Nothing smaller. Nothing bigger. This has to be precise.”
A shadow crosses his face as he notices the picture I had promised to delete off my phone. “Get out, Emily.”
I don’t cower at the pure anger radiating from Razor, but Emily is out the door in seconds. I maintain eye contact with Razor, and he steps closer, towering over me as if he could will me into compliance. He can glower, he can yell, but this is Razor and he could never hurt me because he is built to the core to protect.
“I can crack this code, but I need this printed out.”
“This isn’t a game. It’s not a crossword puzzle or a seek-and-find. What’s on your phone is a powder keg and I will not allow you to be a casualty of the explosion.”
My heart aches at the pain in his eyes. He’s lost so much, more than I could ever comprehend. “No one will know I cracked this unless you tell or I tell, and we’re both capable of keeping secrets.”
Razor’s head falls back and he stares at the ceiling. A battle wages inside him between protecting me and gaining the answers he craves. “You don’t understand how bad this is.”
“I don’t understand. None of it, but I understand me. You think I can stop hunting for a solution, but I can’t. This code is in my brain and the wheels won’t stop, not even for you.”
I take his hand and squeeze it. “You know more about me than anyone else. I’ve told you more, told you secrets about my brain, and while you’re the one that understands me better than anyone, you still don’t truly understand. I’m not able to stop what happens in my mind. I’ll go crazy if I don’t solve this, so you can help me or you can fight me, but here’s the thing—the reason we get along so well is because you’re like me. Once something’s in our brain, it doesn’t stop.”
Razor’s shaking his head as he cups my face. There’s a desperation in his voice I’ve never heard. “It’s not the same. My mind is nothing like yours, and you’re right, I don’t fully understand, but I can’t drag you any further into this. I can’t lose you.”
I lay my hands over his. “You won’t. Because where my brain won’t stop, you can’t stop protecting the people you care for. I can crack this code, Razor, and I can do it knowing that whatever it is you’re scared of, you will never let it touch me. I trust you.”
Razor searches my eyes for an answer to a question he has yet to pose. “Stay here. I mean it, Breanna. You don’t move a foot.” He yanks the bylaws from my hands and he’s out the door.
