“No kidding?” she asked, as if that was the most amazing thing in the world. “I’m twenty! That’s a two and a zero because it’s two groups of ten, right Evan?”
“Absolutely perfect. This is Angelina,” he added, indicating me. “Lina, I’d like to introduce you to my sister. This is Melissa Ivy Black.”
nineteen
We spent the next few hours in the backyard with Ivy alternating between tossing a Frisbee, playing in a sandbox, and answering knock-knock jokes. I didn’t ask Evan any more questions—I wouldn’t have known where to start. And I knew now that he’d tell me in his own way in his own time.
“Ivy!” Ava called from the kitchen. “Time for your medicine and bed.”
“Can I watch SpongeBob?” she asked Evan.
“If Ava says so,” he answered, standing. “Come on, we’ll walk you in.” He took her hand, and when she reached out her other one for me, I took it, as well. It was as scarred as the rest of her, and I had the horrible feeling that if we peeled off that layer of clothes, her whole body would be scar tissue. The thought made me unbelievably sad.
Ivy, however, was as happy and bouncy as a child. “Will you be here tomorrow?” she asked me.
I glanced at Evan.
“We’ll be here for breakfast,” he said. “Then I have to get back to work.”
“You work too much,” she said.
He laughed. “I’m trying to fix that. As soon as I do, I’ll have more time to spend with you.”
“Yay!” She clapped her hands and then ran ahead into the kitchen after Ava.
“She’s wonderful,” I said when she was gone.
“She’s basically six,” he said with affection. “Which means that although she was wonderful tonight, tomorrow morning when we leave we’ll probably see a full-blown tantrum.”
He reached out for my hand, then smiled when I took it. “Nobody knows about her,” he said. “Nobody except Tyler and Cole.”
“And Jahn?”
Evan nodded.
I remembered what he’d said about not trusting easily, and I understood in that moment the extent of the gift he was giving me. Not just his trust, but the chance to fully see this man.
“I thought your mom and sister lived in another state.”
“And I worked damn hard to make sure the entire world thought that.”
“Why?”
We’d reached the back porch steps and he sat down, then scooted over to make room for me. “To keep her safe,” he said. “There are risks to what I do. And sometimes the blowback is on your family.”
“You’re talking the criminal stuff,” I said boldly.
“I am,” he said. “And yes, I’ll tell you. But first I want to know how you found out about Ivy. Not Kevin?”
“No,” I said quickly, understanding his fear. “It was one of the girls at work. A blonde. She was working the front that first time I came.”
“Donna,” he said. “She’s something of a bitch, and she’s been trying to get into my bed for over a year.”
“I thought you didn’t sleep with the girls.”
“I don’t,” he said. “And neither do Cole or Tyler. Tyler had a thing once with one of the waitresses right after we bought the place. It didn’t end well.” He turned to face me. “Just so we’re crystal clear on this, I’ve gone out with a lot of women, and I’ve fucked a lot of women. But it never meant anything more than a good time and someone to have a meal with. Do you understand what I’m saying?”
I licked my lips, trying to slow the rapid patter of my heartbeat. “I’m not sure. I don’t want to guess and be wrong.”
His smile was warm. “I mean that there’s never been another woman. It’s always been you, Lina. Even before I realized it, you were always there inside me.”
I closed my eyes and drew in a breath, realizing that I felt relaxed now for the first time since Cole had come into the pub and dragged Evan to the parking lot. “I’ve missed you,” I said. “You’ve been right beside me for hours now, but I’ve missed you all the same.”
“I’ve missed you, too.” He stood and then tugged me to my feet.
“Will you tell me what happened to her?”
“Yeah,” he said as he led me inside and upstairs. “I’ll tell you everything.”
The bedroom that he took me to was small, with a double bed, a desk, and very little else. “This was my room growing up,” he said. “I never bothered to do much to it, but I crash here when I visit.”
“Who has the master?”
“No one right now. My mother passed away about a year ago, and Ivy and I haven’t spent much time in there.”
“I’m sorry,” I said.
“Thanks.” He stretched out on the bed, propped up on his elbow. I sat beside him, cross-legged, with my elbows propped on my knees. “The story starts and ends with Ivy, which is why I wanted you to meet her. You’ve read about the fire?”
“Sure. Every article talks about it. I’m sorry about your father.”
“You don’t need to be sorry for him,” Evan said harshly. “But Ivy …” He trailed off, then drew in a deep breath as if gathering his thoughts. Or maybe his courage.
“It’s okay,” I said. “If you don’t want to talk about it, I understand.”
He reached out and put his hand on my knee, and that one simple touch felt as intimate as all the times we’d made love. “I want you to know,” he said. “She was six, and because she has an autoimmune disease, they were limited in the amount of reconstructive surgery they could do—her body kept rejecting it. She inhaled a lot of smoke, too. For that matter, she was clinically dead for well over a minute before they revived her. The result was brain damage, and the manifestation is that she’s going to stay six for a very long time. She may grow a little bit more mentally, but nine is about the best case scenario. To be honest, I’m not seeing it, and neither are her tutors. But I love her, and no matter what happens, I’ll take care of her.”
“It was an electrical fire, right?”
“That’s the story my mother and I spread.”
I frowned. “What do you mean?”
“I mean that my fucking father decided to kill himself and almost took Ivy along with him.”
I stared at him, horrified.
He sat up, then scooted back so that he was leaning against the headboard. He was no longer touching me. One hand was above his head, clutching tight to one of the brass bars that made up the bed frame. The other was idly twisting the spread into a knot. I don’t think he was aware of either.
“He was in banking. Made a fortune and then when he lost it all he was too much of a coward to try to dig himself back out. So he killed himself. Went to the guesthouse and took a bottle of sleeping pills. But he had a cigarette and managed to set the bedspread on fire. Ivy used to sneak into the guesthouse to play, and she was in there.”
“My god.” I couldn’t even imagine how scared that poor little girl had been. “Does she remember?”
“Not much, thank god.”
“Absolutely perfect. This is Angelina,” he added, indicating me. “Lina, I’d like to introduce you to my sister. This is Melissa Ivy Black.”
nineteen
We spent the next few hours in the backyard with Ivy alternating between tossing a Frisbee, playing in a sandbox, and answering knock-knock jokes. I didn’t ask Evan any more questions—I wouldn’t have known where to start. And I knew now that he’d tell me in his own way in his own time.
“Ivy!” Ava called from the kitchen. “Time for your medicine and bed.”
“Can I watch SpongeBob?” she asked Evan.
“If Ava says so,” he answered, standing. “Come on, we’ll walk you in.” He took her hand, and when she reached out her other one for me, I took it, as well. It was as scarred as the rest of her, and I had the horrible feeling that if we peeled off that layer of clothes, her whole body would be scar tissue. The thought made me unbelievably sad.
Ivy, however, was as happy and bouncy as a child. “Will you be here tomorrow?” she asked me.
I glanced at Evan.
“We’ll be here for breakfast,” he said. “Then I have to get back to work.”
“You work too much,” she said.
He laughed. “I’m trying to fix that. As soon as I do, I’ll have more time to spend with you.”
“Yay!” She clapped her hands and then ran ahead into the kitchen after Ava.
“She’s wonderful,” I said when she was gone.
“She’s basically six,” he said with affection. “Which means that although she was wonderful tonight, tomorrow morning when we leave we’ll probably see a full-blown tantrum.”
He reached out for my hand, then smiled when I took it. “Nobody knows about her,” he said. “Nobody except Tyler and Cole.”
“And Jahn?”
Evan nodded.
I remembered what he’d said about not trusting easily, and I understood in that moment the extent of the gift he was giving me. Not just his trust, but the chance to fully see this man.
“I thought your mom and sister lived in another state.”
“And I worked damn hard to make sure the entire world thought that.”
“Why?”
We’d reached the back porch steps and he sat down, then scooted over to make room for me. “To keep her safe,” he said. “There are risks to what I do. And sometimes the blowback is on your family.”
“You’re talking the criminal stuff,” I said boldly.
“I am,” he said. “And yes, I’ll tell you. But first I want to know how you found out about Ivy. Not Kevin?”
“No,” I said quickly, understanding his fear. “It was one of the girls at work. A blonde. She was working the front that first time I came.”
“Donna,” he said. “She’s something of a bitch, and she’s been trying to get into my bed for over a year.”
“I thought you didn’t sleep with the girls.”
“I don’t,” he said. “And neither do Cole or Tyler. Tyler had a thing once with one of the waitresses right after we bought the place. It didn’t end well.” He turned to face me. “Just so we’re crystal clear on this, I’ve gone out with a lot of women, and I’ve fucked a lot of women. But it never meant anything more than a good time and someone to have a meal with. Do you understand what I’m saying?”
I licked my lips, trying to slow the rapid patter of my heartbeat. “I’m not sure. I don’t want to guess and be wrong.”
His smile was warm. “I mean that there’s never been another woman. It’s always been you, Lina. Even before I realized it, you were always there inside me.”
I closed my eyes and drew in a breath, realizing that I felt relaxed now for the first time since Cole had come into the pub and dragged Evan to the parking lot. “I’ve missed you,” I said. “You’ve been right beside me for hours now, but I’ve missed you all the same.”
“I’ve missed you, too.” He stood and then tugged me to my feet.
“Will you tell me what happened to her?”
“Yeah,” he said as he led me inside and upstairs. “I’ll tell you everything.”
The bedroom that he took me to was small, with a double bed, a desk, and very little else. “This was my room growing up,” he said. “I never bothered to do much to it, but I crash here when I visit.”
“Who has the master?”
“No one right now. My mother passed away about a year ago, and Ivy and I haven’t spent much time in there.”
“I’m sorry,” I said.
“Thanks.” He stretched out on the bed, propped up on his elbow. I sat beside him, cross-legged, with my elbows propped on my knees. “The story starts and ends with Ivy, which is why I wanted you to meet her. You’ve read about the fire?”
“Sure. Every article talks about it. I’m sorry about your father.”
“You don’t need to be sorry for him,” Evan said harshly. “But Ivy …” He trailed off, then drew in a deep breath as if gathering his thoughts. Or maybe his courage.
“It’s okay,” I said. “If you don’t want to talk about it, I understand.”
He reached out and put his hand on my knee, and that one simple touch felt as intimate as all the times we’d made love. “I want you to know,” he said. “She was six, and because she has an autoimmune disease, they were limited in the amount of reconstructive surgery they could do—her body kept rejecting it. She inhaled a lot of smoke, too. For that matter, she was clinically dead for well over a minute before they revived her. The result was brain damage, and the manifestation is that she’s going to stay six for a very long time. She may grow a little bit more mentally, but nine is about the best case scenario. To be honest, I’m not seeing it, and neither are her tutors. But I love her, and no matter what happens, I’ll take care of her.”
“It was an electrical fire, right?”
“That’s the story my mother and I spread.”
I frowned. “What do you mean?”
“I mean that my fucking father decided to kill himself and almost took Ivy along with him.”
I stared at him, horrified.
He sat up, then scooted back so that he was leaning against the headboard. He was no longer touching me. One hand was above his head, clutching tight to one of the brass bars that made up the bed frame. The other was idly twisting the spread into a knot. I don’t think he was aware of either.
“He was in banking. Made a fortune and then when he lost it all he was too much of a coward to try to dig himself back out. So he killed himself. Went to the guesthouse and took a bottle of sleeping pills. But he had a cigarette and managed to set the bedspread on fire. Ivy used to sneak into the guesthouse to play, and she was in there.”
“My god.” I couldn’t even imagine how scared that poor little girl had been. “Does she remember?”
“Not much, thank god.”
