I don’t know how much time passed. Maybe it was an hour, maybe it was only a minute, but sometime in the future my daze was broken by the soft buzzing of my cell phone on the carpet. I blindly felt for it, answering it without looking at the screen and holding it to my ear.
“I’m fine, Willow.”
“Bug?”
The sound of his voice jerked me upright. “Rhodes?”
Silence.
“I can’t not see you tonight,” he finally said. I could hear the pain in his words. It was like he’d been fighting them for so long that finally letting them slip into the atmosphere killed him a little. “I’m still leaving in the morning, and I can’t promise you anything more than tonight. I know I treated you like shit because I somehow always manage to fuck up the best things in my life.” He exhaled, slowly breathing life back into me. “I don’t deserve for you to come over. But I’m asking you anyway.”
I bit my bottom lip with enough force to draw blood. Relief washed over me at the same time the delicious ache from running echoed through my muscles. He wanted to see me. Nothing more, nothing less, but it was just enough to reaffirm the hope I’d been clinging to. “Give me fifteen.”
“Bug?”
“Yeah?”
There was a pause, and I felt my heartrate accelerate.
“Hurry.”
I debated not showering, but one look in the mirror changed my mind. I could barely stand as the hot water washed over me. My body was caught in a mixture of the anticipation to see Rhodes and the extreme fatigue from my run. Adrenaline could only push me so far before the aches would take over. Still, I hurried through the shower and dressed in shorts and a tank top, throwing my still-wet hair up into a bun. Foregoing makeup, I looked at myself one last time before quietly sneaking out of my room.
Tiptoeing down the stairs, I willed my heart to calm itself so I could make it the rest of the way out of the house without being detected. Mom had ripped into me after I ran out to see Rhodes at the club earlier that week. I didn’t want to take the chance of her catching me now and keeping me from him.
My hand reached for the handle on our front door just as a deep voice rang through the darkness.
“Going somewhere?”
I jumped, turning quickly and scanning the black foyer until I spotted Dale. He was kicked back in the recliner next to the couch, hands folded in his lap, amused smirk on his face. I could barely make him out, but the soft light from the kitchen illuminated him just enough for me to realize he wasn’t sober.
Great.
“Jesus, Dale,” I said, blowing out a breath. “You scared me.”
He didn’t respond.
“Um, I’m just going out for a run. I know it’s late, but I can’t sleep.”
“A run, huh?”
I swallowed, realizing I probably wasn’t too convincing at the moment. Thankfully, I had forgotten to take off my watch. Holding up my wrist, I smiled. “Yep. Got my watch set and my shoes are out in the Rover. Just going to throw them on and get started. I won’t go too far.”
He laughed, but it wasn’t the laugh I was so familiar with. It seemed sinister, and suddenly the hairs on my arms were at attention. “You honestly expect me to believe that, don’t you?” He shook his head, folding the recliner down with a pop. He was sitting up straight now, his eyes hard on me even through the dim light. “Your hair is still wet from the shower I just heard you taking upstairs. You went for a run earlier, and I know that because your mom told me just before she took her sleeping pills. I can see why you thought you’d be able to sneak out easily, what with those things knocking her out and all, but unfortunately for you, I’m still here. And I see right through your little charade. You’re sneaking out to see him, and I can tell you right now, that’s not going to happen.”
My throat was tight, my hands cold. “Dale, please,” I begged. I hated the shakiness of my voice. I wanted to demand respect, I wanted to storm out, but I knew Dale. He wanted to feel like everything was his decision. My only chance of seeing Rhodes was to make him think this was. “You got what you wanted. Rhodes is leaving. I’m never going to see him again. Just… please, give me tonight.” Hoping to play into the father-daughter relationship, I even tried a joke. “I watched the last episode of Lost today. Have some pity.” I laughed, and a smile creaked over his lips, but it fell too quickly for my taste.
Standing, Dale made his way into the foyer, crossing his arms over his chest. He scanned me from head to toe with glazed eyes, that same smug smirk reappearing as he did. I could tell he was on something, but I didn’t know what. “He really did do a number on you, didn’t he?”
I gulped, stepping back but running straight into the front door. “Dale… you’re not thinking straight. I think you should go up to bed. Sleep it off.”
He stepped closer, and I could clearly smell it — he’d been drinking. Whiskey. But the way he was acting, there was no way he was just drunk. Something else was intoxicating him.
“It’s just amazing. You were always pretty, but he made you…” His voice trailed off and he shook his head, reaching out a hand to thumb my chin. I jerked away from his touch. “Let’s just say I can see why he was so quick to claim you as his own.”
“Dale. Stop. You’re being creepy.” I tried to sound firm, pushing my fist into his chest to put space between us. He only stepped closer, wrapping his fingers around my wrist. For some reason, that simple move violated me more than his words. I only wanted Rhodes’ fingers on my wrist.
“You really want to go see him tonight, don’t you?”
I nodded, swallowing a sandpaper-covered cotton ball as he leaned even closer. He was squeezing my wrist with enough force to make my nerves jump to life. Something was wrong. And I realized at that very moment, I was scared of my step-dad.
“Well, I can let you go and not tell your mother,” he said, and though those words should have brought me relief, they only made me shake in his grip. His next sentence proved my fear to be warranted. “But you’ll have to do something for me.”
He grinned wider, licking his bottom lip as his eyes fell to mine. Bile rose in my throat and I couldn’t hide the horror that quickly appeared on my face. “Oh my God, Dale.” I tried to shove him away, but he only grabbed my other wrist, and now he had both of them in a tight grip. My heart pounded in my ears. He was serious. Oh God, he was serious.
“I’m fine, Willow.”
“Bug?”
The sound of his voice jerked me upright. “Rhodes?”
Silence.
“I can’t not see you tonight,” he finally said. I could hear the pain in his words. It was like he’d been fighting them for so long that finally letting them slip into the atmosphere killed him a little. “I’m still leaving in the morning, and I can’t promise you anything more than tonight. I know I treated you like shit because I somehow always manage to fuck up the best things in my life.” He exhaled, slowly breathing life back into me. “I don’t deserve for you to come over. But I’m asking you anyway.”
I bit my bottom lip with enough force to draw blood. Relief washed over me at the same time the delicious ache from running echoed through my muscles. He wanted to see me. Nothing more, nothing less, but it was just enough to reaffirm the hope I’d been clinging to. “Give me fifteen.”
“Bug?”
“Yeah?”
There was a pause, and I felt my heartrate accelerate.
“Hurry.”
I debated not showering, but one look in the mirror changed my mind. I could barely stand as the hot water washed over me. My body was caught in a mixture of the anticipation to see Rhodes and the extreme fatigue from my run. Adrenaline could only push me so far before the aches would take over. Still, I hurried through the shower and dressed in shorts and a tank top, throwing my still-wet hair up into a bun. Foregoing makeup, I looked at myself one last time before quietly sneaking out of my room.
Tiptoeing down the stairs, I willed my heart to calm itself so I could make it the rest of the way out of the house without being detected. Mom had ripped into me after I ran out to see Rhodes at the club earlier that week. I didn’t want to take the chance of her catching me now and keeping me from him.
My hand reached for the handle on our front door just as a deep voice rang through the darkness.
“Going somewhere?”
I jumped, turning quickly and scanning the black foyer until I spotted Dale. He was kicked back in the recliner next to the couch, hands folded in his lap, amused smirk on his face. I could barely make him out, but the soft light from the kitchen illuminated him just enough for me to realize he wasn’t sober.
Great.
“Jesus, Dale,” I said, blowing out a breath. “You scared me.”
He didn’t respond.
“Um, I’m just going out for a run. I know it’s late, but I can’t sleep.”
“A run, huh?”
I swallowed, realizing I probably wasn’t too convincing at the moment. Thankfully, I had forgotten to take off my watch. Holding up my wrist, I smiled. “Yep. Got my watch set and my shoes are out in the Rover. Just going to throw them on and get started. I won’t go too far.”
He laughed, but it wasn’t the laugh I was so familiar with. It seemed sinister, and suddenly the hairs on my arms were at attention. “You honestly expect me to believe that, don’t you?” He shook his head, folding the recliner down with a pop. He was sitting up straight now, his eyes hard on me even through the dim light. “Your hair is still wet from the shower I just heard you taking upstairs. You went for a run earlier, and I know that because your mom told me just before she took her sleeping pills. I can see why you thought you’d be able to sneak out easily, what with those things knocking her out and all, but unfortunately for you, I’m still here. And I see right through your little charade. You’re sneaking out to see him, and I can tell you right now, that’s not going to happen.”
My throat was tight, my hands cold. “Dale, please,” I begged. I hated the shakiness of my voice. I wanted to demand respect, I wanted to storm out, but I knew Dale. He wanted to feel like everything was his decision. My only chance of seeing Rhodes was to make him think this was. “You got what you wanted. Rhodes is leaving. I’m never going to see him again. Just… please, give me tonight.” Hoping to play into the father-daughter relationship, I even tried a joke. “I watched the last episode of Lost today. Have some pity.” I laughed, and a smile creaked over his lips, but it fell too quickly for my taste.
Standing, Dale made his way into the foyer, crossing his arms over his chest. He scanned me from head to toe with glazed eyes, that same smug smirk reappearing as he did. I could tell he was on something, but I didn’t know what. “He really did do a number on you, didn’t he?”
I gulped, stepping back but running straight into the front door. “Dale… you’re not thinking straight. I think you should go up to bed. Sleep it off.”
He stepped closer, and I could clearly smell it — he’d been drinking. Whiskey. But the way he was acting, there was no way he was just drunk. Something else was intoxicating him.
“It’s just amazing. You were always pretty, but he made you…” His voice trailed off and he shook his head, reaching out a hand to thumb my chin. I jerked away from his touch. “Let’s just say I can see why he was so quick to claim you as his own.”
“Dale. Stop. You’re being creepy.” I tried to sound firm, pushing my fist into his chest to put space between us. He only stepped closer, wrapping his fingers around my wrist. For some reason, that simple move violated me more than his words. I only wanted Rhodes’ fingers on my wrist.
“You really want to go see him tonight, don’t you?”
I nodded, swallowing a sandpaper-covered cotton ball as he leaned even closer. He was squeezing my wrist with enough force to make my nerves jump to life. Something was wrong. And I realized at that very moment, I was scared of my step-dad.
“Well, I can let you go and not tell your mother,” he said, and though those words should have brought me relief, they only made me shake in his grip. His next sentence proved my fear to be warranted. “But you’ll have to do something for me.”
He grinned wider, licking his bottom lip as his eyes fell to mine. Bile rose in my throat and I couldn’t hide the horror that quickly appeared on my face. “Oh my God, Dale.” I tried to shove him away, but he only grabbed my other wrist, and now he had both of them in a tight grip. My heart pounded in my ears. He was serious. Oh God, he was serious.
