Welcome to Rosie Hopkins' Sweet Shop of Dreams
Page 87

‘I’m not coming,’ she said quietly, but she knew she could be heard.
‘What’s that?’ Lady Lipton looked like she couldn’t believe her ears.
‘I’m not coming. Tonight.’
‘Whyever not?’
Rosie was on the brink of making up a good excuse – she would keep her manners even when Hetty didn’t – when the voice squawked again from the baby monitor.
‘Because she’s a bloody idiot!’
Hetty looked all around her in surprise and consternation; it did sound like Lilian was booming out of nowhere.
‘Lilian? Where are you?’
‘She’s on the monitor,’ said Tina shyly.
‘Why isn’t she coming?’ continued Hetty.
‘Ask her yourself,’ said Lilian.
Because I fancy your son and he thinks I’m a servant and you think I’m a golddigger, thought Rosie bleakly.
‘Why not?’ demanded Hetty, red in the face.
‘Because I have nothing to wear and I won’t know anyone there,’ mumbled Rosie.
‘What’s that? What nonsense,’ said Lady Lipton. ‘Invite some friends, we always get some people passing out from drink before dinner. What about you?’
Rosie would have pointed out that Hetty and Tina had lived in the same village for thirty-five years, had not Tina immediately looked delighted and barely stopped short of clapping her hands.
‘Ooh, yes please!’
‘And you can bring that dirty Isitt labourer if you must,’ sniffed Hetty. ‘A bit of what I believe you call “eye candy”. Not quite so broken-veined as the rest. And I’ve invited that poofy doctor. Isn’t that enough chums?’
Rosie felt her face flame.
‘And I’ll lend you a dress!’ Hetty boomed.
Rosie couldn’t bear to think what that might be like. Did they make waxed dresses?
‘I have a full-length kilt I’m sure will look splendid on you. Of course Bran used it as a blanket, but it’s absolutely fine.’
‘I’m sure I can find something for her,’ pleaded Tina.
‘Jolly good!’ said Hetty, handing over a twenty for the huge bag of sweets. ‘See you at eight, trippety trip.’
And the bell clanged and she was gone.
‘Eek!’ said Tina, turning to Rosie to give her a hug. ‘Now it’ll be great! What’s up?’
‘Nothing,’ said Rosie.
‘What?’ said Tina. ‘Don’t hide it from me. Ooh!,’ Her excitement got the better of her. ‘I wish Todd could see me now. He would be livid. Do you know how many times I’ve been to something like this? Never!’
‘Me neither,’ said Rosie.
‘Well, we can make idiots of ourselves together … What’s up?’
‘It’s stupid,’ said Rosie.
‘What?’
Rosie was torn. On the one hand, she couldn’t bear to reveal what an idiot she’d been. On the other, if she didn’t tell someone she thought she was going to burst.
‘It’s Stephen,’ she said. ‘I fancy him.’
Tina stared at her for a few seconds, then burst into peals of laughter.
‘What? Why’s that funny?’ Rosie was stung.
‘Oh no, it’s not, it’s not, it’s just … Oh,’ said Tina, ‘back when we were at school … he didn’t go to our school of course.’
‘Of course,’ said Rosie.
‘He was sent away. But when he came back in the holidays … oh wow. Everyone fancied him.’
‘You don’t say.’
‘He was always slouching round the village with a book of poetry, in a furious mood because he’d just had another big fight with his dad.’
‘Oh yeah? Did anyone ever pull him?’
‘Oh God, no. What, him mess with the likes of us?’ Tina grinned. ‘It wasn’t for want of trying though. Claudia Mickle once cycled into a wall, craning her neck to take a look at him. She needed four stitches.’
‘OK, OK, I get the message,’ said Rosie.
‘Then he went all weird of course …’ Tina suddenly looked stricken. ‘I mean, I’m really sorry … There’s no reason he wouldn’t fancy you back, none at all!’
‘There are a million reasons he wouldn’t fancy me back,’ said Rosie, starting to clear up. ‘All of them tall and blonde and rich and posh and bearing iPhones.’
There was a silence.
‘Well,’ said Tina, ‘I know you’re the boss and everything, but not for long. So. I order you to come with me. Just because you fancy someone is absolutely no reason not to let me go to the party of the year. It wouldn’t be fair. I’m going to text Jake and Moray right now and order them to come and pick us up, and we will go, and get squiffed again and ignore all the stupid posh folk and have a brilliant time, the four of us. It’ll be great. And that big stupid pouty Stephen won’t know what he’s missing.’
‘I can’t say no to that, can I?’ said Rosie. ‘I’d be ruining everyone’s night out.’
‘Exactly,’ said Tina. ‘Free champagne.’
‘Can I be your footman?’ asked Edison, hopefully.
They’d forgotten he was there.
‘No,’ said Rosie. ‘But you can come to our next X Factor sleepover.’
‘Don’t tell my mum it’s television.’
‘I’ll tell her it’s chromosomes,’ promised Rosie, as Hester came up the path, as usual looking as though she was carrying the world’s problems on her shoulders. ‘OK, scurry off, footman.’
‘You will look very beautiful at the ball,’ said Edison seriously as he grabbed his coat and cap and left. ‘Both of you.’
Tina and Rosie looked after him.
‘You know, it’s not an expression I use very often, and I mean it in its original sense,’ said Rosie. ‘But that is a very queer little boy.’
‘Neh,’ said Tina, already making arrangements on her phone. ‘He’s right.’
There was a happy snuffle from the baby monitor.
‘Lilian!’ said Rosie warningly.
‘I am pleased you are going to the dance, that’s all,’ said Lilian.
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