“At least I don’t have to point out where your sore spots are,” Maggie said. “Be nice to each other or you’ll be sent to your rooms.”
“When will you be done with this hiatus?” Phoebe asked. “When will you be back in Denver?”
“I don’t know. Not much longer.”
“Leave her be, Phoebe. She hasn’t had a proper vacation in years and she’s burnt out. She can stay here as long as she likes. Don’t bully her.”
“I’ve been more relaxed since I’ve been here than I have been in years and that should make you happy, Mother.”
“Of course your health and happiness are paramount. And I don’t bully.”
“Course not,” Maggie said. She took a big bite of her pickle.
There was a loud burst of laughter somewhere in the campground and Maggie looked around. A man wearing a backpack but no clothes was coming down the trail. He had excellent hiking boots on his feet, a straw hat on his head and that was all. His thing was swaying in the breeze.
Maggie hadn’t seen something like this in a long time. She covered her mouth to keep from bursting into laughter.
“Oh my hell,” Sully swore, slamming down the beer and jumping to his feet. “I should shoot his pecker off! Doesn’t that idiot know this is a family place?” And he charged down the steps toward the naked man.
Maggie started to laugh and slid down in her chair.
“Dear God,” Phoebe said. “Maggie, you can’t stay here! This is why I took you away. This is the bowels of hell!”
Just be what you are and speak from your guts
and heart—it’s all a man has. —Hubert Humphrey
Chapter 11
“You’re a coward, that’s what you are,” Maggie told Cal.
“Don’t be so hard on me. Tom ran for his life and he said he’d never even met the woman, just heard about her. I’m sure she’s very nice but she just intimidated the hell out of me. So, what happened with the naked man?”
“Oh, he gave Sully some song and dance about being over-heated, taking off his shirt first, then his sweaty shorts, being dehydrated and confused and forgot to get dressed again before hitting camp. All bullshit, I’m sure.”
They sat on low beach chairs by a little fire near the lake. Lots of small fires dotted the grounds, being enjoyed by campers. This was the first chance they’d had to talk since Phoebe’s visit.
“Sully was occupied with him, dragging him out of sight of the other campers—not so many around at lunchtime—and out of sight of the porch. Just another loony-tune. They pop up regularly, though that’s the first nudist I’ve seen. But I’ve heard naked hikers are seen out on the trails from time to time. If one of the forestry guys, a park ranger, sees one they throw the book at them. That was pretty brazen, walking into camp that way. Why anyone wants to hike naked is beyond me. Imagine the interesting places you could get a mosquito bite. And here’s a little-known fact—they’re never women.”
“Exhibitionists,” Cal said. “I bet it made your mother’s day.”
“She’ll be talking about it for years, trust me. So then we had a little chat. Not too long. She wants me to go to a charity luncheon with her. She has these social obligations from time to time and in the past I’ve gone to some with her. They’re not horrible and she likes to show me off, I think. My daughter the doctor, you know? When I’m in Denver I try to spend a little time with her. Sometimes I take her to lunch and endure a little shopping. It makes her happy and quiet. What intimidated you about her?”
“When will you be done with this hiatus?” Phoebe asked. “When will you be back in Denver?”
“I don’t know. Not much longer.”
“Leave her be, Phoebe. She hasn’t had a proper vacation in years and she’s burnt out. She can stay here as long as she likes. Don’t bully her.”
“I’ve been more relaxed since I’ve been here than I have been in years and that should make you happy, Mother.”
“Of course your health and happiness are paramount. And I don’t bully.”
“Course not,” Maggie said. She took a big bite of her pickle.
There was a loud burst of laughter somewhere in the campground and Maggie looked around. A man wearing a backpack but no clothes was coming down the trail. He had excellent hiking boots on his feet, a straw hat on his head and that was all. His thing was swaying in the breeze.
Maggie hadn’t seen something like this in a long time. She covered her mouth to keep from bursting into laughter.
“Oh my hell,” Sully swore, slamming down the beer and jumping to his feet. “I should shoot his pecker off! Doesn’t that idiot know this is a family place?” And he charged down the steps toward the naked man.
Maggie started to laugh and slid down in her chair.
“Dear God,” Phoebe said. “Maggie, you can’t stay here! This is why I took you away. This is the bowels of hell!”
Just be what you are and speak from your guts
and heart—it’s all a man has. —Hubert Humphrey
Chapter 11
“You’re a coward, that’s what you are,” Maggie told Cal.
“Don’t be so hard on me. Tom ran for his life and he said he’d never even met the woman, just heard about her. I’m sure she’s very nice but she just intimidated the hell out of me. So, what happened with the naked man?”
“Oh, he gave Sully some song and dance about being over-heated, taking off his shirt first, then his sweaty shorts, being dehydrated and confused and forgot to get dressed again before hitting camp. All bullshit, I’m sure.”
They sat on low beach chairs by a little fire near the lake. Lots of small fires dotted the grounds, being enjoyed by campers. This was the first chance they’d had to talk since Phoebe’s visit.
“Sully was occupied with him, dragging him out of sight of the other campers—not so many around at lunchtime—and out of sight of the porch. Just another loony-tune. They pop up regularly, though that’s the first nudist I’ve seen. But I’ve heard naked hikers are seen out on the trails from time to time. If one of the forestry guys, a park ranger, sees one they throw the book at them. That was pretty brazen, walking into camp that way. Why anyone wants to hike naked is beyond me. Imagine the interesting places you could get a mosquito bite. And here’s a little-known fact—they’re never women.”
“Exhibitionists,” Cal said. “I bet it made your mother’s day.”
“She’ll be talking about it for years, trust me. So then we had a little chat. Not too long. She wants me to go to a charity luncheon with her. She has these social obligations from time to time and in the past I’ve gone to some with her. They’re not horrible and she likes to show me off, I think. My daughter the doctor, you know? When I’m in Denver I try to spend a little time with her. Sometimes I take her to lunch and endure a little shopping. It makes her happy and quiet. What intimidated you about her?”
