What's Left of Me
Page 19
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“Promise?”
“Scouts’ honor.” He holds up two fingers. I’m pretty sure the Scout salute is three fingers.
Standing up from the chair, I bend to pick up my purse. I need to move away from him. Get some space. I can feel the heat coming off of him and I can’t think straight with him so close to me.
Before I can reach my purse, Parker grasps my arm and pulls me toward him. He gets a grip on my waist, twisting me into him and locking his mouth to mine while bringing his right hand behind my head, holding me in place. My hands come up to his chest to push him back, but as I feel his tongue push into my mouth, deepening the kiss, I lose all control and lean into him. I grip his shirt, pulling him closer to me. Our mouths move together while our tongues continue to explore.
Parker groans when I pull his tongue into my mouth and start to suck on it. I remember he really liked it when I did that. His hands leave my waist and head. Before I know what’s happening, he’s standing and turning me so that my back ends up flat against his desk moving his hand under my shirt, brushing my skin with his fingertips until his hand reaches my breast. He cups it with his hand, squeezing it hard and causing me to let out a soft cry.
I feel the tingle of his whiskers brushing against my neck as he trails light kisses from my ear down to my collarbone.
“God, Aundrea. You smell so good. Like … sweet pears.”
I can’t help the moan that escapes my mouth as his hand slides into my bra, pinching my nipple. As if that’s his cue, he roughly brings his mouth back to mine.
The ache between my legs meets the hardness between his. There isn’t anything I want more than to feel him inside me. I lift my legs up and start to wrap them around his waist, needing to be closer to him. He reaches back and grabs my legs, securing me tightly to him.
“I want you so bad. Right now, Aundrea. Right. Fucking. Now.”
His words break the hazy cloud clogging my brain, and I muffle his name between our locked lips. My voice comes out raspy, begging rather than getting his attention to stop. Breaking the kiss, I grab Parker’s hand still squeezing my breast.
“Parker,” I say firmly. He doesn’t hear me, or just ignores me and moves his face into the crook of my neck, kissing me more. The stubble from his facial hair sends shivers down my spine.
“Parker,” I say a little louder this time, followed by a push to his chest. “We need to stop.”
Parker stops kissing me at the word stop and slowly stands up, panting as he releases my legs.
I stand up, fixing my shirt and running my fingers through my hair. “You said you wouldn’t make a move after I agreed.”
“Yes. After you agreed. I didn’t want you to agree yet, so I could do that.”
I don’t speak. I just stand there in front of him, panting for air and trying to calm myself after that kiss.
With two large strides, he’s right in front of me. He moves a piece of my hair off my face, reminding me of our dance the night we met.
“What do you say, Aundrea? Will you work here? With me?” he whispers at my mouth.
I’ll say anything you want. “Yes.”
I can’t believe I’ve just agreed to this.
“It’ll be fun,” he says with a wink.
Fuck.
When Genna and I make our way into the Mayo Clinic, she talks about running to the store to pick up some juice and crackers for me. I don’t pay her much attention. I just keep saying yes.
I get seated in a big, blue, cloth chair after my check-up with one of the oncologists. The nurse asks me to verify my full name, date of birth, and allergies.
“Aundrea Leigh McCall. March 14,1992. No allergies that I’m aware of.”
She explains the drugs I’ll be getting and to expect my first round to last three hours. I don’t know why they tell me the names because I’ll never remember. They’re these long names that I could never pronounce correctly. I don’t even know if the nurse pronounces them correctly or if she just sounds smart.
Normally the nurse applies a topical numbing cream over the port so that when they put the needle through the skin I won’t feel it, but I don’t have her apply it. The pain of a needle stick is nothing. Not after having a needle the size of my forearm shoved into my pelvic bone to take out my bone marrow cells! Okay, maybe I’m exaggerating a little, but the needle was seriously long!
After I’m hooked up and the drugs are flowing, I try to sit back and close my eyes. Relax a little.
When you get chemo, the offices usually have a light side and a dark side. One half is where patients can sleep or rest, and the other half is where they can read or talk to other patients.
I choose the lighter side. I can’t rest after my encounter with Parker. My body is still quivering from his touch, and as much as I try to come down from my Parker high, I can’t stop smiling. His parting words, “It’ll be fun,” won’t leave my mind. There is no doubt that working in the same space as him will be anything less than fun.
I’m still trying to get over the fact that I let him practically take me on his desk like that. What the hell is wrong with me? When he is near me, I’m no longer myself. I swear, he has some type of power over me. Okay, now my fictional life is becoming a part of my reality. Great! This is why my mom always tells me not to get so caught up in my books. Soon you won’t be able to tell what’s real and what’s not because you’ll just be living in that head of yours!
An hour later, the smile is finally wiped off my face as I reach for the trashcan and start to throw up. The nurse makes her way over to me and gives me something through my IV.
“Scouts’ honor.” He holds up two fingers. I’m pretty sure the Scout salute is three fingers.
Standing up from the chair, I bend to pick up my purse. I need to move away from him. Get some space. I can feel the heat coming off of him and I can’t think straight with him so close to me.
Before I can reach my purse, Parker grasps my arm and pulls me toward him. He gets a grip on my waist, twisting me into him and locking his mouth to mine while bringing his right hand behind my head, holding me in place. My hands come up to his chest to push him back, but as I feel his tongue push into my mouth, deepening the kiss, I lose all control and lean into him. I grip his shirt, pulling him closer to me. Our mouths move together while our tongues continue to explore.
Parker groans when I pull his tongue into my mouth and start to suck on it. I remember he really liked it when I did that. His hands leave my waist and head. Before I know what’s happening, he’s standing and turning me so that my back ends up flat against his desk moving his hand under my shirt, brushing my skin with his fingertips until his hand reaches my breast. He cups it with his hand, squeezing it hard and causing me to let out a soft cry.
I feel the tingle of his whiskers brushing against my neck as he trails light kisses from my ear down to my collarbone.
“God, Aundrea. You smell so good. Like … sweet pears.”
I can’t help the moan that escapes my mouth as his hand slides into my bra, pinching my nipple. As if that’s his cue, he roughly brings his mouth back to mine.
The ache between my legs meets the hardness between his. There isn’t anything I want more than to feel him inside me. I lift my legs up and start to wrap them around his waist, needing to be closer to him. He reaches back and grabs my legs, securing me tightly to him.
“I want you so bad. Right now, Aundrea. Right. Fucking. Now.”
His words break the hazy cloud clogging my brain, and I muffle his name between our locked lips. My voice comes out raspy, begging rather than getting his attention to stop. Breaking the kiss, I grab Parker’s hand still squeezing my breast.
“Parker,” I say firmly. He doesn’t hear me, or just ignores me and moves his face into the crook of my neck, kissing me more. The stubble from his facial hair sends shivers down my spine.
“Parker,” I say a little louder this time, followed by a push to his chest. “We need to stop.”
Parker stops kissing me at the word stop and slowly stands up, panting as he releases my legs.
I stand up, fixing my shirt and running my fingers through my hair. “You said you wouldn’t make a move after I agreed.”
“Yes. After you agreed. I didn’t want you to agree yet, so I could do that.”
I don’t speak. I just stand there in front of him, panting for air and trying to calm myself after that kiss.
With two large strides, he’s right in front of me. He moves a piece of my hair off my face, reminding me of our dance the night we met.
“What do you say, Aundrea? Will you work here? With me?” he whispers at my mouth.
I’ll say anything you want. “Yes.”
I can’t believe I’ve just agreed to this.
“It’ll be fun,” he says with a wink.
Fuck.
When Genna and I make our way into the Mayo Clinic, she talks about running to the store to pick up some juice and crackers for me. I don’t pay her much attention. I just keep saying yes.
I get seated in a big, blue, cloth chair after my check-up with one of the oncologists. The nurse asks me to verify my full name, date of birth, and allergies.
“Aundrea Leigh McCall. March 14,1992. No allergies that I’m aware of.”
She explains the drugs I’ll be getting and to expect my first round to last three hours. I don’t know why they tell me the names because I’ll never remember. They’re these long names that I could never pronounce correctly. I don’t even know if the nurse pronounces them correctly or if she just sounds smart.
Normally the nurse applies a topical numbing cream over the port so that when they put the needle through the skin I won’t feel it, but I don’t have her apply it. The pain of a needle stick is nothing. Not after having a needle the size of my forearm shoved into my pelvic bone to take out my bone marrow cells! Okay, maybe I’m exaggerating a little, but the needle was seriously long!
After I’m hooked up and the drugs are flowing, I try to sit back and close my eyes. Relax a little.
When you get chemo, the offices usually have a light side and a dark side. One half is where patients can sleep or rest, and the other half is where they can read or talk to other patients.
I choose the lighter side. I can’t rest after my encounter with Parker. My body is still quivering from his touch, and as much as I try to come down from my Parker high, I can’t stop smiling. His parting words, “It’ll be fun,” won’t leave my mind. There is no doubt that working in the same space as him will be anything less than fun.
I’m still trying to get over the fact that I let him practically take me on his desk like that. What the hell is wrong with me? When he is near me, I’m no longer myself. I swear, he has some type of power over me. Okay, now my fictional life is becoming a part of my reality. Great! This is why my mom always tells me not to get so caught up in my books. Soon you won’t be able to tell what’s real and what’s not because you’ll just be living in that head of yours!
An hour later, the smile is finally wiped off my face as I reach for the trashcan and start to throw up. The nurse makes her way over to me and gives me something through my IV.
