What's Left of Us
Page 25

“I know.”
“This is happening, Aundrea.”
“I know.” You’d think I could come up with something better to say.
I wrap my arms around his neck. “Parker, this means if it all works out we’re doing the implantation in a week.”
“We’ll do it. We’ll make it work. Whatever we have to do, come up with, sign, we’ll do it. There’s no question, babe.”
My eyes shift over his shoulder to see Amy standing off to the side. She doesn’t say anything, but her presence gives me all the reassurance I need.
I tuck my face into the crook of Parker’s neck. Whatever we have to do.
As long as we do it together.
Love illuminates life. There are different kinds of love, and only a select few are fortunate enough to experience every kind. I’ve been told there is no other love like the love a mother has for her child. It’s deep, instant, and can never be broken. I knew if there was going to be anyone more excited about Parker and me having a baby than we were, it would be my mom.
I was going to hold back from telling her at least until we met with Wendy later today, I’m too excited when she calls.
“I—I don’t understand. What do you mean?”
“We’re having a baby, Mom.”
“No, I get that. But … how?”
I laugh. “A surrogate.”
She’s silent.
“Are you still there?”
“Yes, sorry. I’m … shocked, that’s all.”
“In a good way?”
“Yes! Yes, of course, honey. I just didn’t know you two were considering the idea, that’s all.”
“Well, Parker brought it up and, after a lot of thought, we decided we’re ready.”
“Are you?”
Come again? “Huh?”
“Sorry, what I mean is, with everything else that’s going on? I want you to have a baby, Dre, don’t get me wrong. I want you to have everything. I just … I guess I need confirmation that you’re okay. That everything is going well with the routine visits, and that, from a health standpoint, you’re okay to have a baby right now.”
I take a deep breath and slowly exhale. “There’s no need to worry.”
“I’m your mother. It’s my job to worry. I just want to be sure that your heart can handle the stress right now.”
“Stress?”
“With a new house, graduation coming up, starting the new job. Add a newborn and money into that equation and it can be stressful.”
My heart stops. I can feel it shutting down slowly. I feel a sharp pain, as if her hand reached through the line into my chest and is squeezing my heart.
Breathe, Aundrea. Breathe.
Inhale, exhale. Inhale, exhale.
Why does everything in my life have to come back to my health? Why does everything I do have to come with a constant reminder of my past, even at a happy time like this?
I try not to think about my past often. I take three pills daily for my cardiomyopathy, see Dr. James every three months, and have routine EKGs, echocardiograms, and any other imaging or bloodwork he feels is necessary. I also meet with my oncologist, Dr. Olson, every four months for a routine checkup, which won’t stop until I’m put into remission in two years, and have routine labs for her necessary tests.
Everything is going fine.
“Mom, my health is under control. Really, there’s no need to worry. Parker and I’ve discussed this and we’re ready. I’m ready. I’m doing well and there is nothing holding us back.”
“I know, honey. I only worry for you. I want nothing but the best for you two.” Her voice cracks slightly.
I smile. “I know, Mom. Trust me when I tell you everything will be okay. It always works out.”
“I know, bu—”
My phone beeps and I see that Amy’s calling. “Mom, I have to let you go. I’ll call you this week, okay?”
“Okay.”
“Hey,” I answer as I switch calls.
“Uh oh, what’s the matter?” Amy asks.
“You saved me from my mother.”
“Oh, man. Mothers.” Her tone is sarcastic, but light. “What’s the matter?”
“I told her about finding a surrogate.”
“Yeah?”
“And she’s concerned about the stress and timing of everything. I told her she doesn’t have to worry and everything is okay, but, you know …”
“Dre, she’s just concerned for you. She’s your mother and she wants what’s best.”
“I know. It’s … it’s just that I was so excited to tell her. She’s happy for us; I believe that. I know she wants me to have everything in life. But then she hit me with …”
“Reality.”
“Kind of. Yeah.”
“I get it. But, Dre, I’m a mom. Moms will always worry. We’ll always have our child’s best interest at heart. She’s just making sure you two have thought this through. Trust me, she was probably like this with Genna too.”
We both laugh. “You’re probably right. Actually, I remember the conversation between Genna and my mom when she told her about the kitchen remodel. My mom didn’t understand why she and Jason would consider that while she was still pregnant.”
“See? She’s only doing her job.” Thank goodness for Amy.
“Thank you.”