As long as it’s with him.
“What are you grinning at?”
I glanced over to where my sister is watching me from the doorway. I am sitting in my favorite chair in my library, getting lost in the world of The Hobbit. I don’t know how I forgot how much I love this book. It’s been years since I’ve read it, and I feel like a kid again—lost in the world of dwarfs, hobbits, and the dragon, Smog. It’s great, and I wish I did this more often. Usually, I work all the time, and I’ve decided I need to make more time to read. Instead of only doing it when I am nervous and trying to distract myself. I am doing that now, to past time before I have to go pick up Amberlyn.
Amberlyn.
Ugh, just thinking her name has my heart palpitating in overdrive. I was so mad before I found myself in the field with her. Alone. Just us. Her eyes set on mine, and all my anger was gone. Feeling her so close, holding her hands, and looking so deep into her eyes had me wondering why I waited so long for this moment. I should have just jumped in from the beginning, but that was in the past. Now all that matters is that in no time, I’ll be getting lost in her aquamarine eyes. I am giddy. Something I’ve never felt before but looking into my sister’s knowing eyes, I feel that my giddiness might be short-lived.
“Nothing,” I lie, because there is no way I am sharing my thoughts of Amberlyn with her, or anyone for that matter. I haven’t even kissed the girl, and she can turn me into a blabbin’ eejit. I want her, desperately. I want her lips on mine; I want to feel her body against mine as we lay in bed, talking and getting lost in each other’s bodies. I have never been this so far gone with a girl that I’ve just met, but I find that I am. It’s scary and causes my heart to feel like it is blowing up in my chest, but there is something about Amberlyn that hits me in my core.
Pressing my lips together, I glance back at my book but I watch her out the corner of my eye. She is wearing jeans and a t-shirt, not something she’d wear to go out in public, which means she is having a ‘lazy day’ as she calls it. Usually she’s so made up, every single detail so perfect that she looks like a Barbie doll. When I say that, she gets mad, but it’s the truth. It makes me nervous because I know that’s not her. She does it for my ma, for Micah, since his family expects her to look pristine at all times. She’s so young, but she already has so much on her shoulders. Sometimes I wonder if she is really doing what she wants or doing only what everyone expects of her. I refuse to do that but then, maybe I am because I’m doing exactly what my da wants of me. But that can’t be right because I’m not doing it for him; I’m doing it for the distillery. It’s my home, my business, and I won’t have another person run what’s mine. I’m what’s best for it, and I’ll do anything to keep it.
Lena sits on the shoulder of my chair, leaning into me as she wraps her arm around my shoulder. “I know it’s something, Declan, or someone maybe?”
I shake my head innocently. “I don’t know what you are talking about.”
“Fiona Maclaster maybe?”
I scoff. “No, Kane’s goin’ out with her.”
That must have stunned her, which means that not too many people know about Amberlyn, but they will after tonight. Even though it has my skin breaking out in goose pimples and my heart beating out of control, I know that once I bring Amberlyn to Thornton’s, everyone will see us and report it as news when all it’s supposed to be is my first date with the most gorgeous girl in Ireland. But I try not to think about it. Instead, I’ll enjoy stumping my sister and my ma too, since I know she sent Lena in to spy. “Then who are you seeing at the Céad Míle Fáilte?”
I shrug my shoulders. “No one.”
“Oh ya liar!” she accuses as she smacks my forearm. “Fine, fine, keep it to yourself. Are you going to bring her to the White Ball?”
I don’t want to answer but before my brain can tell my mouth that, I say, “If she’ll have me.”
“Ha! I knew there was someone!”
Fuckin’ hell. “Yeah, so?” I ask as I look up at her. Her eyes are dancing with laughter, her grin unstoppable, but when her eyes meet mine, her grin falls.
“No, I’m happy,” she says with her palms up to me. “I want you to find your Mrs. O’Callaghan. This is awesome.”
“Don’t go putting that thought in your head. It’s our first date; I could find her annoying after tonight.”
I doubt that, but it could be true. Lena gives out a laugh as she shakes her head. “No way, not with the way she makes you smile.”
Maybe so. Pushing into her playfully, I smile when she hugs me tightly. Pulling away, she leans back as she leans her head against mine. “Have you talked to Kane lately?”
“Of course, saw him earlier today.”
“So you know that he and Casey got into it?”
I pause before moving my head out from beneath hers to look up at her. “Got into it? Way I heard it, Kane knocked him the hell out.”
“Yeah, that’s what I mean.”
“Then yeah, I heard. Why? How did you?”
“One of my friends said she was in the shop the other night and he was saying how our family has ruined him. He can’t even get a date with a fuckin’ American.”
I shrug, my heart picking up in speed with anger. I hate that fuckin’ gobshite. “It isn’t our family, it’s him. It’s his fault he’s a fuckin’ wanker and maybe it’s the way he treats women that keeps him from getting a date.”
She nods slowly as her eyes glaze over. I always hate when Casey’s name comes into the conversation. It always makes my beautiful sister look so hollow. I place my hand on hers. “Don’t let him bother you one bit.”
“No, no, I’m not. It’s just I hate when he runs our names through the mud when really he has no right to. We don’t go around running his name.” She pauses as her eyes meet mine. “Well, at least I don’t, nor does Ma. It’s mainly you and Da.”
“He’s a fuckin’ fucktard. I hate him.”
“I know. I just wish we could all let it go. It happened so long ago,” she says sadly.
“It was only three years ago,” I say, and I can feel my skin burning with anger. “You don’t care for him still, do you?”
“What are you grinning at?”
I glanced over to where my sister is watching me from the doorway. I am sitting in my favorite chair in my library, getting lost in the world of The Hobbit. I don’t know how I forgot how much I love this book. It’s been years since I’ve read it, and I feel like a kid again—lost in the world of dwarfs, hobbits, and the dragon, Smog. It’s great, and I wish I did this more often. Usually, I work all the time, and I’ve decided I need to make more time to read. Instead of only doing it when I am nervous and trying to distract myself. I am doing that now, to past time before I have to go pick up Amberlyn.
Amberlyn.
Ugh, just thinking her name has my heart palpitating in overdrive. I was so mad before I found myself in the field with her. Alone. Just us. Her eyes set on mine, and all my anger was gone. Feeling her so close, holding her hands, and looking so deep into her eyes had me wondering why I waited so long for this moment. I should have just jumped in from the beginning, but that was in the past. Now all that matters is that in no time, I’ll be getting lost in her aquamarine eyes. I am giddy. Something I’ve never felt before but looking into my sister’s knowing eyes, I feel that my giddiness might be short-lived.
“Nothing,” I lie, because there is no way I am sharing my thoughts of Amberlyn with her, or anyone for that matter. I haven’t even kissed the girl, and she can turn me into a blabbin’ eejit. I want her, desperately. I want her lips on mine; I want to feel her body against mine as we lay in bed, talking and getting lost in each other’s bodies. I have never been this so far gone with a girl that I’ve just met, but I find that I am. It’s scary and causes my heart to feel like it is blowing up in my chest, but there is something about Amberlyn that hits me in my core.
Pressing my lips together, I glance back at my book but I watch her out the corner of my eye. She is wearing jeans and a t-shirt, not something she’d wear to go out in public, which means she is having a ‘lazy day’ as she calls it. Usually she’s so made up, every single detail so perfect that she looks like a Barbie doll. When I say that, she gets mad, but it’s the truth. It makes me nervous because I know that’s not her. She does it for my ma, for Micah, since his family expects her to look pristine at all times. She’s so young, but she already has so much on her shoulders. Sometimes I wonder if she is really doing what she wants or doing only what everyone expects of her. I refuse to do that but then, maybe I am because I’m doing exactly what my da wants of me. But that can’t be right because I’m not doing it for him; I’m doing it for the distillery. It’s my home, my business, and I won’t have another person run what’s mine. I’m what’s best for it, and I’ll do anything to keep it.
Lena sits on the shoulder of my chair, leaning into me as she wraps her arm around my shoulder. “I know it’s something, Declan, or someone maybe?”
I shake my head innocently. “I don’t know what you are talking about.”
“Fiona Maclaster maybe?”
I scoff. “No, Kane’s goin’ out with her.”
That must have stunned her, which means that not too many people know about Amberlyn, but they will after tonight. Even though it has my skin breaking out in goose pimples and my heart beating out of control, I know that once I bring Amberlyn to Thornton’s, everyone will see us and report it as news when all it’s supposed to be is my first date with the most gorgeous girl in Ireland. But I try not to think about it. Instead, I’ll enjoy stumping my sister and my ma too, since I know she sent Lena in to spy. “Then who are you seeing at the Céad Míle Fáilte?”
I shrug my shoulders. “No one.”
“Oh ya liar!” she accuses as she smacks my forearm. “Fine, fine, keep it to yourself. Are you going to bring her to the White Ball?”
I don’t want to answer but before my brain can tell my mouth that, I say, “If she’ll have me.”
“Ha! I knew there was someone!”
Fuckin’ hell. “Yeah, so?” I ask as I look up at her. Her eyes are dancing with laughter, her grin unstoppable, but when her eyes meet mine, her grin falls.
“No, I’m happy,” she says with her palms up to me. “I want you to find your Mrs. O’Callaghan. This is awesome.”
“Don’t go putting that thought in your head. It’s our first date; I could find her annoying after tonight.”
I doubt that, but it could be true. Lena gives out a laugh as she shakes her head. “No way, not with the way she makes you smile.”
Maybe so. Pushing into her playfully, I smile when she hugs me tightly. Pulling away, she leans back as she leans her head against mine. “Have you talked to Kane lately?”
“Of course, saw him earlier today.”
“So you know that he and Casey got into it?”
I pause before moving my head out from beneath hers to look up at her. “Got into it? Way I heard it, Kane knocked him the hell out.”
“Yeah, that’s what I mean.”
“Then yeah, I heard. Why? How did you?”
“One of my friends said she was in the shop the other night and he was saying how our family has ruined him. He can’t even get a date with a fuckin’ American.”
I shrug, my heart picking up in speed with anger. I hate that fuckin’ gobshite. “It isn’t our family, it’s him. It’s his fault he’s a fuckin’ wanker and maybe it’s the way he treats women that keeps him from getting a date.”
She nods slowly as her eyes glaze over. I always hate when Casey’s name comes into the conversation. It always makes my beautiful sister look so hollow. I place my hand on hers. “Don’t let him bother you one bit.”
“No, no, I’m not. It’s just I hate when he runs our names through the mud when really he has no right to. We don’t go around running his name.” She pauses as her eyes meet mine. “Well, at least I don’t, nor does Ma. It’s mainly you and Da.”
“He’s a fuckin’ fucktard. I hate him.”
“I know. I just wish we could all let it go. It happened so long ago,” she says sadly.
“It was only three years ago,” I say, and I can feel my skin burning with anger. “You don’t care for him still, do you?”
