“My da flipped as you can expect and so did my ma. It was time for the charades to stop and time for me to be a man. So I did, but because I was scared I was the reason that Lena had been hurt, since Casey was my best friend, I stopped everything and didn’t leave anymore. I lost all faith in humanity because how could someone hurt a beautiful fifteen-year-old girl and use someone they claim to like? So I turned into a hermit as Kane says, and I hate that I did because now when I go out, everyone is going to be all over me. No one knows why and everyone wants to suck up to me, but I want nothing to do with them. I’m older now. I know what I want in friends and in the person I want to date. I know what’s important—my family, my distillery, and my heart. I think when everything happened, I needed that time to heal because when Lena was hurt, it wasn’t only her that suffered the aftershocks of it—it was the whole family. You know?”
I nod and hate that my eyes are filling with tears. I can understand exactly what he means because I did the same thing. I hate how much pain this family has been through. Everyone sees them as this big, rich family that is basically royalty, but no one looks over the walls to make sure they are okay. It’s sad, and I hate this has happened.
Taking in a deep breath, I say, “Yeah, I do. When my dad died, a piece of me died too, and when my mom went through chemo and all the cancer shit she did, I felt like I went through it with her. Each day weighed on me, like it did her. I offered to shave my head because we shaved hers, but she wouldn’t let me. She said if she couldn’t have her hair, she wanted to admire mine.”
When a tear runs down my cheek and splashes on my hand, I look down as I take in a deep breath.
“Don’t hide,” Declan whispers before lifting my face so he can see me. “That is really amazing of you, to want to do that for your ma.”
I smile. Man, I miss her and I would do it all over again. Everything. “Yeah, but sometimes, I think I didn’t do enough. Maybe I could have saved her somehow, but then I know I couldn’t have. I was the best daughter I could have been because I wanted her to be happy and proud of me. I worked so hard, didn’t do anything but focus on my studies and take care of her. I don’t have any friends back home because I didn’t have time. I went to school, came home, did homework, and did anything she needed. My senior year, I was homeschooled. I didn’t have a prom, homecoming, nothing. I did everything for her, and was a nobody to the kids my age. Don’t think I regret any of it, because I don’t, but it’s sad to think that when I left, no one knew, no one missed me, because I didn’t have time for anything or anyone but her. And if I didn’t come here, I’d be alone, trying to figure out how to live life without my mom. I know she knew that, and that’s why she asked me to come here.”
Moving our food, Declan slides beside me. Taking my hands in his, he kisses each of my palms before looking deep into my eyes. “I believe that you are the strongest person I know, Amberlyn. Your ma was right to ask you to come here. It may very well be for my own selfish reasons but because of that, I thank your ma every day. You know why I came out after hiding away for three years, right?”
My eyes are cloudy with tears and my heart feels like a vice gripe is around it as I look deep in his eyes. I haven’t shared any of that with anyone else but Fiona. I can’t believe I just blurted it out like that either, but it’s just different with him. I feel so at ease with him. Slowly, I shake my head. “No.”
“For you. I saw you across the lake that day when you were sunbathing, and I knew I had to know your name and the color of your eyes.”
Hearing him say those words has me breathless as he holds my gaze, his ice-blue eyes shining. “Then I met you and had the pleasure of being on the receiving end of that beautiful smile of yours and the more I learned about you, the more I thank God I came off this damn land.”
If he wanted me to smile, he succeeded. My grin is huge as stray tears roll down my cheeks. “And if you left now, I’d miss you. Terribly.”
Leaning towards him, I rest my head to his. “I’d miss you, too.”
He smiles and I can’t help but smile back, even though I want to break down and cry for both of us. Grinning, I say, “Good thing I don’t plan on going anywhere.”
“That is a good thing.”
His mouth is still curved in a contagious grin as he reaches up, slowly moving his thumb along my bottom lip, causing gooseflesh to cover my skin despite the hot weather. His eyes are so dark, locked with mine, and when his tongue comes out to wet his lips, I ask, “Are you gonna kiss me now? Oh-dear-god-why-did-I-just-ask-that!”
I say it as one word before I close my eyes in complete and utter humiliation. Declan’s laugh runs down my spine, and it doesn’t help my embarrassment one bit. If anything, it makes it worse as I open my eyes to look at him and what I find makes me smile. His face is so close to mine, his eyes bright and playful.
“Really though, why do you keep asking? Do you want to kiss me or something?” he jokes, pulling a nervous laugh from me.
“Something like that,” I joke back with a grin, but then I shake my head. “I need a filter.”
“No, I like that you say what you think,” he says, cupping my face. With his eyes locked on mine, breathing is not an option. As he leans towards me, his lips coming for mine, I hold my breath and close my eyes tight because thank sweet baby Jesus, he is going to kiss me. But then his lips meet my nose, in a sweet, soft kiss, and my eyes spring open as he pulls away. Deflated, I ask, “Not the moment, huh?”
He reaches for his burger and takes a huge bite before shaking his head. After swallowing, he grins over at me. “Not yet.”
“This better be some amazingly awesome kiss,” I tease as I pick up my own burger.
He winks, his eyes dark as he says, “Best damn kiss you’ll ever have. I can promise ya that.”
I want to say he has that right, since I’ve kissed only one guy and he had weird braces that stuck me in the lip. Instead, I just nod and eat my hamburger happily, because this was probably the best first date ever.
I hate board meetings.
They are stupid and pointless in my opinion. I am the youngest person in here, while my da and our colleagues are all in their late fifties. Usually, I don’t say anything. I can be found at the end of the table, taking notes and taking in everything my da is saying. This will be my company one day and when that happens, I want to be able to fall into the seat my da is sitting in and lead like he does. He is a powerful man, knows what he wants for the company, and what he doesn’t. He is vocal about his opinions, and everyone respects him.
I nod and hate that my eyes are filling with tears. I can understand exactly what he means because I did the same thing. I hate how much pain this family has been through. Everyone sees them as this big, rich family that is basically royalty, but no one looks over the walls to make sure they are okay. It’s sad, and I hate this has happened.
Taking in a deep breath, I say, “Yeah, I do. When my dad died, a piece of me died too, and when my mom went through chemo and all the cancer shit she did, I felt like I went through it with her. Each day weighed on me, like it did her. I offered to shave my head because we shaved hers, but she wouldn’t let me. She said if she couldn’t have her hair, she wanted to admire mine.”
When a tear runs down my cheek and splashes on my hand, I look down as I take in a deep breath.
“Don’t hide,” Declan whispers before lifting my face so he can see me. “That is really amazing of you, to want to do that for your ma.”
I smile. Man, I miss her and I would do it all over again. Everything. “Yeah, but sometimes, I think I didn’t do enough. Maybe I could have saved her somehow, but then I know I couldn’t have. I was the best daughter I could have been because I wanted her to be happy and proud of me. I worked so hard, didn’t do anything but focus on my studies and take care of her. I don’t have any friends back home because I didn’t have time. I went to school, came home, did homework, and did anything she needed. My senior year, I was homeschooled. I didn’t have a prom, homecoming, nothing. I did everything for her, and was a nobody to the kids my age. Don’t think I regret any of it, because I don’t, but it’s sad to think that when I left, no one knew, no one missed me, because I didn’t have time for anything or anyone but her. And if I didn’t come here, I’d be alone, trying to figure out how to live life without my mom. I know she knew that, and that’s why she asked me to come here.”
Moving our food, Declan slides beside me. Taking my hands in his, he kisses each of my palms before looking deep into my eyes. “I believe that you are the strongest person I know, Amberlyn. Your ma was right to ask you to come here. It may very well be for my own selfish reasons but because of that, I thank your ma every day. You know why I came out after hiding away for three years, right?”
My eyes are cloudy with tears and my heart feels like a vice gripe is around it as I look deep in his eyes. I haven’t shared any of that with anyone else but Fiona. I can’t believe I just blurted it out like that either, but it’s just different with him. I feel so at ease with him. Slowly, I shake my head. “No.”
“For you. I saw you across the lake that day when you were sunbathing, and I knew I had to know your name and the color of your eyes.”
Hearing him say those words has me breathless as he holds my gaze, his ice-blue eyes shining. “Then I met you and had the pleasure of being on the receiving end of that beautiful smile of yours and the more I learned about you, the more I thank God I came off this damn land.”
If he wanted me to smile, he succeeded. My grin is huge as stray tears roll down my cheeks. “And if you left now, I’d miss you. Terribly.”
Leaning towards him, I rest my head to his. “I’d miss you, too.”
He smiles and I can’t help but smile back, even though I want to break down and cry for both of us. Grinning, I say, “Good thing I don’t plan on going anywhere.”
“That is a good thing.”
His mouth is still curved in a contagious grin as he reaches up, slowly moving his thumb along my bottom lip, causing gooseflesh to cover my skin despite the hot weather. His eyes are so dark, locked with mine, and when his tongue comes out to wet his lips, I ask, “Are you gonna kiss me now? Oh-dear-god-why-did-I-just-ask-that!”
I say it as one word before I close my eyes in complete and utter humiliation. Declan’s laugh runs down my spine, and it doesn’t help my embarrassment one bit. If anything, it makes it worse as I open my eyes to look at him and what I find makes me smile. His face is so close to mine, his eyes bright and playful.
“Really though, why do you keep asking? Do you want to kiss me or something?” he jokes, pulling a nervous laugh from me.
“Something like that,” I joke back with a grin, but then I shake my head. “I need a filter.”
“No, I like that you say what you think,” he says, cupping my face. With his eyes locked on mine, breathing is not an option. As he leans towards me, his lips coming for mine, I hold my breath and close my eyes tight because thank sweet baby Jesus, he is going to kiss me. But then his lips meet my nose, in a sweet, soft kiss, and my eyes spring open as he pulls away. Deflated, I ask, “Not the moment, huh?”
He reaches for his burger and takes a huge bite before shaking his head. After swallowing, he grins over at me. “Not yet.”
“This better be some amazingly awesome kiss,” I tease as I pick up my own burger.
He winks, his eyes dark as he says, “Best damn kiss you’ll ever have. I can promise ya that.”
I want to say he has that right, since I’ve kissed only one guy and he had weird braces that stuck me in the lip. Instead, I just nod and eat my hamburger happily, because this was probably the best first date ever.
I hate board meetings.
They are stupid and pointless in my opinion. I am the youngest person in here, while my da and our colleagues are all in their late fifties. Usually, I don’t say anything. I can be found at the end of the table, taking notes and taking in everything my da is saying. This will be my company one day and when that happens, I want to be able to fall into the seat my da is sitting in and lead like he does. He is a powerful man, knows what he wants for the company, and what he doesn’t. He is vocal about his opinions, and everyone respects him.
