When Declan’s arms wrap around me, squishing me into his chest with the book between us, I want to try to save the book, but I can’t. I can’t do anything because I need his comfort.
I need him.
My lips dust her hair, her temple, and snuggle into her neck as she takes deep breaths, crying into my shoulder. My heart is breaking for her. She tries so hard to be so strong, but the smallest things can just break her sweet, beautiful heart. It honestly kills me because I have no fuckin’ clue what to do. Laying my head against hers, I hold her, no words coming to mind on what to say to her. I’ve never experienced that kind of loss, and I feel a little lost on how to help her. The book she is holding is stabbing me in the chest and since I don’t plan on moving any time soon, I slowly remove it, putting it beside us as she continues to sob.
I will hold her forever if she wants me too.
The room is completely quiet; the only sound is her sobs. Then, very faintly, I hear her whispering or maybe singing. It’s so faint, but it’s there. I’m not sure if she wants me to hear it but I want to know, so I get closer to find that she is singing. The song is an old song that my grandda and da would sing when they were shit faced. “The Parting Glass”.
I know that my voice is shite but soon I am singing along with her, in the hopes that it helps. Removing her face from my shoulder, she looks up at me with her eyes red and full of tears as her beautiful mouth moves with mine. She sings better than I do, but I don’t think this is the time to tell her that. Soon her tears have stopped falling, and our voices carry throughout the whole room. It’s beautiful.
When the last note leaves our lips, I cup her face in my hands and lean in to press my lips to hers. She wraps her arms around my neck, holding me close as she takes over the kiss, running her sweet tongue along my lips. My mouth opens and slowly we play, our tongues teasing each other as my heart beats out of control. When she pulls away, I follow her, wanting one more kiss. Her mouth is so sweet and I want her to know how much I care for her, that I am here for her. She smiles against my lips, but only for a second before she begins to move her lips with mine, deepening the kiss. Parting only for air, I run my thumb along her jawbone, taking in every single feature of her. The freckles, the pain in her eyes, the redness of her lips and nose, the beauty that is Amberlyn.
“Don’t look at me, I’m a mess. God, I’m so sorry,” she says, looking down at where the book lays.
“Never,” I say, bringing her face back up. “You’re beautiful and don’t apologize, Amberlyn. I know it has to hurt, and I don’t want you to hide that from me.”
She picks the book back up and smiles at it before looking up at me. Her eyes are watery again, as she says, “My mom would have loved this. She wouldn’t have believed that I touched it. Thank you, thank you for giving me this moment.
“Shh,” I whisper, kissing her temple again. “She sees you now. She’s in your heart. Hell, I don’t know if what I’m saying is helping Amberlyn. I’m so sorry.”
“No, you are. I’m sorry,” she says, waving me off. “This happens sometimes. I just lose it.”
“And I’ll be here to help you find the pieces and put you back together,” I promise.
“That is the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me,” she whispers. Slowly a tear rolls down her cheek and I catch it, wiping it on my shorts before kissing her lips once more. Mainly because I want to, but also because I have no clue what to say. I didn’t plan to say that to her. It just left my lips. Once it was out there, I knew it was true. I wanted to be the person to wipe her tears, to hold her when she cried, and to be the person she confides in. I want to be the person that helps her heal.
I think I’ve fallen for her.
I look up from where I am staring a hole in the ground. My chest hurts, feels like it is cracking open, and I don’t know what that means. Everything is tingling, and I feel dizzy as I hold her gaze. I know she asked me something, but I can’t seem to comprehend what it was. I feel like she’s just kneed me in the gut and as I look in her eyes, I can’t help but wonder if she feels the same way.
“I’m sorry, what?”
“The bathroom? Can I go clean up?”
“Oh, sure, sorry. Right there.”
“The library has a bathroom?”
She says it in awe, and I smile sheepishly. “Yeah.”
She smiles as she lays the book down like it’s a newborn baby before heading to the bathroom. Once the door shuts, I take in a lungful of air and let it out in a whoosh, repeating the motion as I try to figure out what I’m feeling. Could I have fallen this fast? Surely not, but I sure do think I have. For fuck’s sake, what if she doesn’t feel the same? Normal people don’t fall this quickly, and I’m not sure what I am feeling is real. All I know is that when I look into her eyes… all I see is home. My home. Oh man, I’m fuckin’ long gone!
When she comes back out, her face is washed clean of makeup and tears. Sitting beside me on the sofa, she reaches for the book again, slowly running her fingers along the binding and words on the front. “It’s so beautiful.”
“It is,” I agree. “Do you feel better?”
She nodded. “Yes, thank you. You’re pretty amazing, Declan.”
“You are, too,” I admit. Thankfully, she flashes me a winning grin as she looks down at the book.
“I can’t believe I am holding a first edition of my favorite book.”
“All the first editions are on this wall. My great-great-gran was really into books, so she collected a lot, spent a good deal of money on them, too. My grandda joked that she was the reason we were broke in the eighties.”
She laughed. “You guys were broke?”
“Apparently.” I laugh with her.
When she stands, I stand with her and follow her to the shelves that are full of some of the best books I’ve ever read. When I wasn’t running amok with Kane, I was reading or sitting under the desk in my da’s study, listening to him work. But all in all, reading was a big part of my life. Even when the other kids called me a nerd, I ignored them and escaped to a place where I could get lost in the worlds these amazing authors provided me with. And while each of these books blew me away at one time or another, watching Amberlyn discover each one would forever hold a special place in my heart. She was mesmerizing, gasping and squealing over each one she found that she loved. It seemed that we loved most of the same ones and with each book, came a story of her ma and da. It is nice and a really great way for me to get to know the Amberlyn before she came to Ireland.
I need him.
My lips dust her hair, her temple, and snuggle into her neck as she takes deep breaths, crying into my shoulder. My heart is breaking for her. She tries so hard to be so strong, but the smallest things can just break her sweet, beautiful heart. It honestly kills me because I have no fuckin’ clue what to do. Laying my head against hers, I hold her, no words coming to mind on what to say to her. I’ve never experienced that kind of loss, and I feel a little lost on how to help her. The book she is holding is stabbing me in the chest and since I don’t plan on moving any time soon, I slowly remove it, putting it beside us as she continues to sob.
I will hold her forever if she wants me too.
The room is completely quiet; the only sound is her sobs. Then, very faintly, I hear her whispering or maybe singing. It’s so faint, but it’s there. I’m not sure if she wants me to hear it but I want to know, so I get closer to find that she is singing. The song is an old song that my grandda and da would sing when they were shit faced. “The Parting Glass”.
I know that my voice is shite but soon I am singing along with her, in the hopes that it helps. Removing her face from my shoulder, she looks up at me with her eyes red and full of tears as her beautiful mouth moves with mine. She sings better than I do, but I don’t think this is the time to tell her that. Soon her tears have stopped falling, and our voices carry throughout the whole room. It’s beautiful.
When the last note leaves our lips, I cup her face in my hands and lean in to press my lips to hers. She wraps her arms around my neck, holding me close as she takes over the kiss, running her sweet tongue along my lips. My mouth opens and slowly we play, our tongues teasing each other as my heart beats out of control. When she pulls away, I follow her, wanting one more kiss. Her mouth is so sweet and I want her to know how much I care for her, that I am here for her. She smiles against my lips, but only for a second before she begins to move her lips with mine, deepening the kiss. Parting only for air, I run my thumb along her jawbone, taking in every single feature of her. The freckles, the pain in her eyes, the redness of her lips and nose, the beauty that is Amberlyn.
“Don’t look at me, I’m a mess. God, I’m so sorry,” she says, looking down at where the book lays.
“Never,” I say, bringing her face back up. “You’re beautiful and don’t apologize, Amberlyn. I know it has to hurt, and I don’t want you to hide that from me.”
She picks the book back up and smiles at it before looking up at me. Her eyes are watery again, as she says, “My mom would have loved this. She wouldn’t have believed that I touched it. Thank you, thank you for giving me this moment.
“Shh,” I whisper, kissing her temple again. “She sees you now. She’s in your heart. Hell, I don’t know if what I’m saying is helping Amberlyn. I’m so sorry.”
“No, you are. I’m sorry,” she says, waving me off. “This happens sometimes. I just lose it.”
“And I’ll be here to help you find the pieces and put you back together,” I promise.
“That is the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me,” she whispers. Slowly a tear rolls down her cheek and I catch it, wiping it on my shorts before kissing her lips once more. Mainly because I want to, but also because I have no clue what to say. I didn’t plan to say that to her. It just left my lips. Once it was out there, I knew it was true. I wanted to be the person to wipe her tears, to hold her when she cried, and to be the person she confides in. I want to be the person that helps her heal.
I think I’ve fallen for her.
I look up from where I am staring a hole in the ground. My chest hurts, feels like it is cracking open, and I don’t know what that means. Everything is tingling, and I feel dizzy as I hold her gaze. I know she asked me something, but I can’t seem to comprehend what it was. I feel like she’s just kneed me in the gut and as I look in her eyes, I can’t help but wonder if she feels the same way.
“I’m sorry, what?”
“The bathroom? Can I go clean up?”
“Oh, sure, sorry. Right there.”
“The library has a bathroom?”
She says it in awe, and I smile sheepishly. “Yeah.”
She smiles as she lays the book down like it’s a newborn baby before heading to the bathroom. Once the door shuts, I take in a lungful of air and let it out in a whoosh, repeating the motion as I try to figure out what I’m feeling. Could I have fallen this fast? Surely not, but I sure do think I have. For fuck’s sake, what if she doesn’t feel the same? Normal people don’t fall this quickly, and I’m not sure what I am feeling is real. All I know is that when I look into her eyes… all I see is home. My home. Oh man, I’m fuckin’ long gone!
When she comes back out, her face is washed clean of makeup and tears. Sitting beside me on the sofa, she reaches for the book again, slowly running her fingers along the binding and words on the front. “It’s so beautiful.”
“It is,” I agree. “Do you feel better?”
She nodded. “Yes, thank you. You’re pretty amazing, Declan.”
“You are, too,” I admit. Thankfully, she flashes me a winning grin as she looks down at the book.
“I can’t believe I am holding a first edition of my favorite book.”
“All the first editions are on this wall. My great-great-gran was really into books, so she collected a lot, spent a good deal of money on them, too. My grandda joked that she was the reason we were broke in the eighties.”
She laughed. “You guys were broke?”
“Apparently.” I laugh with her.
When she stands, I stand with her and follow her to the shelves that are full of some of the best books I’ve ever read. When I wasn’t running amok with Kane, I was reading or sitting under the desk in my da’s study, listening to him work. But all in all, reading was a big part of my life. Even when the other kids called me a nerd, I ignored them and escaped to a place where I could get lost in the worlds these amazing authors provided me with. And while each of these books blew me away at one time or another, watching Amberlyn discover each one would forever hold a special place in my heart. She was mesmerizing, gasping and squealing over each one she found that she loved. It seemed that we loved most of the same ones and with each book, came a story of her ma and da. It is nice and a really great way for me to get to know the Amberlyn before she came to Ireland.
