White Trash Beautiful
Page 3
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When the diner finally opened, it took half an hour for any customers to show up. Larry made some eggs and toast for us to eat. Every once in a while, he was kind. I appreciated those times. I knew I was rude and lashed out at almost everyone, but it was the only way to protect myself. I didn’t want to be hurt by anyone else. If I opened myself up, I was inviting someone in to hurt me, to leave me.
I ate breakfast while rolling silverware into napkins and securing them with little paper strips. My table only needed the occasional coffee refill, so the morning dragged.
During the lull, I went to the bathroom and braided my hair to the side, looking over my reflection. I was a plain Jane with freckles on my nose and a heart-shaped face that made me look too much like a teenager. I hated it.
I sighed and lifted my sleeve to check the bruises underneath it. Great. These weren’t going to fade anytime soon. My eyes, normally a sky blue, looked dull and faded. It felt as though my life were literally draining out of them. I was becoming my mother. All I needed was a drug habit and about forty extra pounds. I rolled my eyes and snorted at my private joke. Blond-haired, blue-eyed nothing. The tiny smile at my internal joke quickly faded as I looked myself over once more before switching off the light and heading back to work.
I stepped out into the dining room and my jaw nearly hit the floor. Tucker was making himself comfortable at one of my tables, menu in hand. I glanced over at Larry, who was leaning against the waitress station. He grinned and looked back at Tucker. I straightened my apron and ran my hand over my hair. Was I nervous? What the hell for? This guy was clearly trouble and a glutton for punishment if he thought hanging around this place was fun.
“Hey.” I gave him my best fake smile, but I didn’t have to force myself as much as usual.
“Hey, sweetheart.” His smile beamed.
My heart fluttered a beat and I swallowed hard. “Can I start you off with something to drink?”
“Orange juice sounds good.”
I took off for the kitchen to get him the drink.
“Who’s your new friend?” Larry asked with a stupid grin on his face. I rolled my eyes and ignored him as I poured Tucker his juice.
“Jax is gonna be pissed.” Larry laughed. I wanted to punch him in his stupid mouth. He had no idea what Jax did when he was pissed. I glared at Larry and walked back out to the dining area and took Tucker his glass of orange juice.
“So, you aren’t from around here, are you?” I had never before seen him. I would remember a face like his. He didn’t fit in here. He was covered in tattoos, which was the norm, but they all looked like works of art. Not the typical home-drawn doodles or jail tats most people sported around here. Tucker ran his hand through his messy hair. It stood up in spikes with no rhyme or reason.
“Just in town for a few days for work. Staying over in Savannah.”
“Savannah? They have all sorts of places to eat. What brings you to Eddington?” I was being nosy. I didn’t even know why I cared. Curiosity, I guess. No one ever made an effort or went out of his or her way to come here.
“I like the small-town feel.” He shrugged.
That pissed me off. I’m not sure why, but it did. I was nearly killing myself to get out of this godforsaken place and he came here to feel cozy?
“Have you decided on anything?” I raised an eyebrow, and he stared at me for a moment as if he didn’t understand me. Apparently, my frustration at his comment showed.
“Yeah, I’ll have the ham steak with a couple of eggs. Over easy.” He held out the menu for me to take.
“You like ’em easy, got it.”
“Actually, I’m enjoying the challenge.”
My cheeks burned as I flushed in embarrassment. I turned and headed for the kitchen. Just f**king great.
Larry took the order with a huge grin on his face. While I waited for the food, I turned on the radio in the diner. I clicked on my favorite station and began to sing along as I wiped down menus. Music was an escape for me. It took me out of my life and placed me magically in another world. I loved it. I continued to sing along as one song faded into the next.
Even Larry seemed in better spirits, humming along to the songs as he set the plate of food up for me to take. I was still lost in the song as I carried it over to Tucker.
“You like this song?” he asked as he unwrapped his silverware.
“It’s beautiful.”
Tucker grinned and I returned the gesture.
“Wanna sit? Doesn’t look like you’re that busy.”
I glanced around the empty diner. He was right. Today was going to be a slow day, and after I’d bitten his head off the day before, I owed him that much.
I sighed and slid into the bench seat across from him. He ate while I tapped my fingers to the music.
He watched me as he chewed. “Damaged.”
“What?”
“The band. Have you seen them in concert?” He took another bite of his ham and shoved it in his mouth. He had nice lips.
I shook my head, realizing he had said something to me. “I’m sorry, what?”
“They play in Savannah in a few days.” He smiled.
“I don’t go in town much.”
“Why not?”
“I don’t know. Cabs are too expensive I guess. What is this? Twenty Questions?”
“Well, you’re not exactly an open book.”
“Maybe because my life isn’t your business.” I raised an eyebrow at him as I grabbed his orange juice and took a sip.
He laughed and set down his silverware. “Ask me something. Anything.”
“Okay.” I set the glass back on the table as I tried to come up with something to ask. “What do you do for a living?”
He made a face and took another bite of food. “Ask me something else.”
I sighed and rested my head on my hand. “What’s your favorite color?”
“That’s what you want to know?”
“It’s all I could think of.” I shrugged as I crumpled his straw paper into a ball between my fingers.
He leaned forward again, his blue eyes searching mine. “Ask me why I’m here. Ask me why I keep coming back.”
The bell above the door dinged and Jackson stumbled in. His eyes narrowed in rage.
“Fuck,” I whispered as I nervously tucked my hair behind my ear.
Tucker glanced over his shoulder to see what had suddenly made me so upset.
“You dirty little whore!” Jackson was seething mad.
I waved my hands in front of me, begging him to stop. He was obviously high and not thinking clearly. “Jax, it’s not what you think.” The smell of liquor wafted off him.
“Everything all right?” Tucker’s eyes were locked on mine. He looked to be itching to fight.
“None of your f**king business, ass**le.” Jackson leaned in toward Tucker, arms stretched. Jax grabbed my arm to pull me from the booth. His hand wrapped around my tender bruises and I flinched, a squeal escaping my lips.
Tucker jumped from his seat and was nose to nose with Jackson in a heartbeat. “Get your f**king hands off her.” Tucker’s voice was low and frighteningly calm. The muscles in his jaw ticked as he waited.
Jax loosened his grip on me momentarily. I rubbed at my tender flesh, trying to make the pain subside.
Jackson’s attention was now on Tucker. “Why do you care? She’s my girl. I’ll put my hands anywhere I want on her.” Jax had a few inches on him, but Tucker was slim and fit. He obviously spent time keeping himself in shape, unlike Jackson.
“You want to fight someone, I’m right here, motherfucker.” Tucker was shifting from foot to foot. It reminded me of how a boxer hops around the ring during a fight, only more subtle.
I pushed my way between them, putting myself face-to-face with Tucker. “Stop this! I’m fine.” God, he has nice lips. Shit. Stop staring at his lips. “Please,” I whispered.
“You’re fine with some ass**le manhandling you?” Tucker was fuming and looked around me to glare at Jax.
I moved so my face was in Tucker’s line of vision again, just inches from his face. “It’s not what you think. He’s just upset.” I was trying desperately to defuse the situation.
“I don’t need you to defend me, Cass. I don’t give a f**k what he thinks.” I knew Jax was moments away from really losing his temper.
“Want to know what I think?” Tucker stepped closer and now his chest was against mine. I could feel the heat radiating off his body. “I think that you’re a worthless prick who likes to beat up little girls to make his dick feel bigger.”
“Jesus Christ, Tucker.” I felt as if my world were imploding. I knew he could feel my heart racing in my chest as I pushed back against him, struggling to keep this fight nonphysical. I closed my eyes, bracing for a blow to come from behind me. I didn’t know if Jax had the balls to fight Tucker, but I knew he wouldn’t mind taking his anger out on me. “Please stop this. I appreciate your concern, but this is between me and my boyfriend.” I stared into Tucker’s eyes, pleading with him to let it go.
He took a step back, his expression turning sad.
“Cass? What is going on out there?” Larry was standing in the doorway to the kitchen.
I took a deep breath. Coconut. I love that smell. “Nothing,” I called back, and turned around to grab Jax by the wrist. I pulled him toward the door, keeping my gaze fixed on Tucker, hoping he wouldn’t follow. He would only make things worse for me later.
Once we were in the parking lot, I began to lose my cool. “What are you doing here, Jax?” I asked, crossing my arms over my chest.
“I needed some money, but I guess you were busy with the f**kstick.” His voice grew louder with every word. “I hope he tips you well.”
“Go home, Jax. I can’t afford to lose this job.”
“Who the f**k do you think you’re talking to, Cass?” He stepped forward, our noses touching.
I refused to back down. I balled my hands into fists at my sides and begged for strength. “Please, Jax. I need this job. Please?”
“I thought you needed me.”
“You know I do, Jax. I’ll be home in a few hours.”
He took a step back and kicked dirt at me before retreating toward the trailer. I let out the breath I had been holding and turned back to the diner.
I slipped inside the door, suddenly nervous as hell.
Tucker was pulling money from his wallet as I entered. He tossed it on the table. His eyes caught mine for a brief moment before he shook his head. “You deserve better, Cass.” He walked past me and out the door.
I felt horrible. Why had Tucker defended me anyway? He didn’t even know me. Why did he give a shit? I forced myself to take deep breaths and count to ten. I didn’t want to cry. I would never hear the end of it from Larry. If he wanted me fired, he could make it happen.
Chapter Four
THE NEXT FEW hours dragged by painfully slowly. I never had more than two tables at a time. Larry wasn’t speaking to me. He would just shake his head and look away whenever I came near him. It was obnoxious. I passed the time decorating my future home in my head. I imagined an immaculate two-story home, white from floor to ceiling. I would plant a garden in my yard and learn to live off my land as much as possible. As much as I tried to picture Jax with me, I could no longer see it. No matter how many times I went through the scenario in my head, it always ended badly between him and me. It was becoming harder and harder to imagine my own mother the way she used to be when I was little. The world was nothing like the fairy tale she’d painted in my head as a child.
The sound of a motorcycle made my heart begin to race. I leaned over a table to look out the dusty window. It wasn’t Tucker, so I turned away, disappointed. Why did I even care? Some random man showed me kindness for the first time in years and I wait by the window like a puppy?
The man who came in looked to be in his early twenties. He ran his hand through hair that hung in black curls to his shoulders. His clothing seemed extreme for the warm weather. He wore a leather jacket and had a motorcycle helmet topped with a red Mohawk under his arm. He pulled off his mirrored sunglasses and glanced around. His eyes landed on me and he smiled before sliding into an oversize booth. He looked exotic with light eyes and a strong, angular jawline.
Just what I needed. I grabbed a menu and made my way to his table. He was looking around the surroundings, and if it were a nicer place, I would think he wanted to rob us. Here, of course, there would be no point. No self-respecting fool would bother.
“Hello. My name is Cass. Can I start you off with something to drink?”
He peeled off his jacket, revealing a wifebeater underneath. His tattoos showed right through it as if it were made of gauze rather than cotton. He was extremely muscular and intimidating. “Beer?”
I just nodded. I could have told him no, but it didn’t seem as if no was an answer he was used to hearing. I hoped Larry wouldn’t mind. I slipped into the kitchen and grabbed a longneck from the fridge. As long as it was paid for, it shouldn’t matter. At least, that’s what I told myself as I got the damn beer.
When I stepped back into the dining room, I did a double take. He’d multiplied. What the . . . A man identical in every way sat directly across from him.
“Hi. I am . . .” I slowly set the beer down in front of the original biker.
“I’ll have a beer, too, Cass. Thanks.” He smiled and I stood stunned, staring at him for a moment before fetching another of Larry’s beers.
What a strange f**king day. I took the doppelgänger his drink and asked them if they wanted to order any food. They declined so I left them to their own devices while I tended to my other customer.
I ate breakfast while rolling silverware into napkins and securing them with little paper strips. My table only needed the occasional coffee refill, so the morning dragged.
During the lull, I went to the bathroom and braided my hair to the side, looking over my reflection. I was a plain Jane with freckles on my nose and a heart-shaped face that made me look too much like a teenager. I hated it.
I sighed and lifted my sleeve to check the bruises underneath it. Great. These weren’t going to fade anytime soon. My eyes, normally a sky blue, looked dull and faded. It felt as though my life were literally draining out of them. I was becoming my mother. All I needed was a drug habit and about forty extra pounds. I rolled my eyes and snorted at my private joke. Blond-haired, blue-eyed nothing. The tiny smile at my internal joke quickly faded as I looked myself over once more before switching off the light and heading back to work.
I stepped out into the dining room and my jaw nearly hit the floor. Tucker was making himself comfortable at one of my tables, menu in hand. I glanced over at Larry, who was leaning against the waitress station. He grinned and looked back at Tucker. I straightened my apron and ran my hand over my hair. Was I nervous? What the hell for? This guy was clearly trouble and a glutton for punishment if he thought hanging around this place was fun.
“Hey.” I gave him my best fake smile, but I didn’t have to force myself as much as usual.
“Hey, sweetheart.” His smile beamed.
My heart fluttered a beat and I swallowed hard. “Can I start you off with something to drink?”
“Orange juice sounds good.”
I took off for the kitchen to get him the drink.
“Who’s your new friend?” Larry asked with a stupid grin on his face. I rolled my eyes and ignored him as I poured Tucker his juice.
“Jax is gonna be pissed.” Larry laughed. I wanted to punch him in his stupid mouth. He had no idea what Jax did when he was pissed. I glared at Larry and walked back out to the dining area and took Tucker his glass of orange juice.
“So, you aren’t from around here, are you?” I had never before seen him. I would remember a face like his. He didn’t fit in here. He was covered in tattoos, which was the norm, but they all looked like works of art. Not the typical home-drawn doodles or jail tats most people sported around here. Tucker ran his hand through his messy hair. It stood up in spikes with no rhyme or reason.
“Just in town for a few days for work. Staying over in Savannah.”
“Savannah? They have all sorts of places to eat. What brings you to Eddington?” I was being nosy. I didn’t even know why I cared. Curiosity, I guess. No one ever made an effort or went out of his or her way to come here.
“I like the small-town feel.” He shrugged.
That pissed me off. I’m not sure why, but it did. I was nearly killing myself to get out of this godforsaken place and he came here to feel cozy?
“Have you decided on anything?” I raised an eyebrow, and he stared at me for a moment as if he didn’t understand me. Apparently, my frustration at his comment showed.
“Yeah, I’ll have the ham steak with a couple of eggs. Over easy.” He held out the menu for me to take.
“You like ’em easy, got it.”
“Actually, I’m enjoying the challenge.”
My cheeks burned as I flushed in embarrassment. I turned and headed for the kitchen. Just f**king great.
Larry took the order with a huge grin on his face. While I waited for the food, I turned on the radio in the diner. I clicked on my favorite station and began to sing along as I wiped down menus. Music was an escape for me. It took me out of my life and placed me magically in another world. I loved it. I continued to sing along as one song faded into the next.
Even Larry seemed in better spirits, humming along to the songs as he set the plate of food up for me to take. I was still lost in the song as I carried it over to Tucker.
“You like this song?” he asked as he unwrapped his silverware.
“It’s beautiful.”
Tucker grinned and I returned the gesture.
“Wanna sit? Doesn’t look like you’re that busy.”
I glanced around the empty diner. He was right. Today was going to be a slow day, and after I’d bitten his head off the day before, I owed him that much.
I sighed and slid into the bench seat across from him. He ate while I tapped my fingers to the music.
He watched me as he chewed. “Damaged.”
“What?”
“The band. Have you seen them in concert?” He took another bite of his ham and shoved it in his mouth. He had nice lips.
I shook my head, realizing he had said something to me. “I’m sorry, what?”
“They play in Savannah in a few days.” He smiled.
“I don’t go in town much.”
“Why not?”
“I don’t know. Cabs are too expensive I guess. What is this? Twenty Questions?”
“Well, you’re not exactly an open book.”
“Maybe because my life isn’t your business.” I raised an eyebrow at him as I grabbed his orange juice and took a sip.
He laughed and set down his silverware. “Ask me something. Anything.”
“Okay.” I set the glass back on the table as I tried to come up with something to ask. “What do you do for a living?”
He made a face and took another bite of food. “Ask me something else.”
I sighed and rested my head on my hand. “What’s your favorite color?”
“That’s what you want to know?”
“It’s all I could think of.” I shrugged as I crumpled his straw paper into a ball between my fingers.
He leaned forward again, his blue eyes searching mine. “Ask me why I’m here. Ask me why I keep coming back.”
The bell above the door dinged and Jackson stumbled in. His eyes narrowed in rage.
“Fuck,” I whispered as I nervously tucked my hair behind my ear.
Tucker glanced over his shoulder to see what had suddenly made me so upset.
“You dirty little whore!” Jackson was seething mad.
I waved my hands in front of me, begging him to stop. He was obviously high and not thinking clearly. “Jax, it’s not what you think.” The smell of liquor wafted off him.
“Everything all right?” Tucker’s eyes were locked on mine. He looked to be itching to fight.
“None of your f**king business, ass**le.” Jackson leaned in toward Tucker, arms stretched. Jax grabbed my arm to pull me from the booth. His hand wrapped around my tender bruises and I flinched, a squeal escaping my lips.
Tucker jumped from his seat and was nose to nose with Jackson in a heartbeat. “Get your f**king hands off her.” Tucker’s voice was low and frighteningly calm. The muscles in his jaw ticked as he waited.
Jax loosened his grip on me momentarily. I rubbed at my tender flesh, trying to make the pain subside.
Jackson’s attention was now on Tucker. “Why do you care? She’s my girl. I’ll put my hands anywhere I want on her.” Jax had a few inches on him, but Tucker was slim and fit. He obviously spent time keeping himself in shape, unlike Jackson.
“You want to fight someone, I’m right here, motherfucker.” Tucker was shifting from foot to foot. It reminded me of how a boxer hops around the ring during a fight, only more subtle.
I pushed my way between them, putting myself face-to-face with Tucker. “Stop this! I’m fine.” God, he has nice lips. Shit. Stop staring at his lips. “Please,” I whispered.
“You’re fine with some ass**le manhandling you?” Tucker was fuming and looked around me to glare at Jax.
I moved so my face was in Tucker’s line of vision again, just inches from his face. “It’s not what you think. He’s just upset.” I was trying desperately to defuse the situation.
“I don’t need you to defend me, Cass. I don’t give a f**k what he thinks.” I knew Jax was moments away from really losing his temper.
“Want to know what I think?” Tucker stepped closer and now his chest was against mine. I could feel the heat radiating off his body. “I think that you’re a worthless prick who likes to beat up little girls to make his dick feel bigger.”
“Jesus Christ, Tucker.” I felt as if my world were imploding. I knew he could feel my heart racing in my chest as I pushed back against him, struggling to keep this fight nonphysical. I closed my eyes, bracing for a blow to come from behind me. I didn’t know if Jax had the balls to fight Tucker, but I knew he wouldn’t mind taking his anger out on me. “Please stop this. I appreciate your concern, but this is between me and my boyfriend.” I stared into Tucker’s eyes, pleading with him to let it go.
He took a step back, his expression turning sad.
“Cass? What is going on out there?” Larry was standing in the doorway to the kitchen.
I took a deep breath. Coconut. I love that smell. “Nothing,” I called back, and turned around to grab Jax by the wrist. I pulled him toward the door, keeping my gaze fixed on Tucker, hoping he wouldn’t follow. He would only make things worse for me later.
Once we were in the parking lot, I began to lose my cool. “What are you doing here, Jax?” I asked, crossing my arms over my chest.
“I needed some money, but I guess you were busy with the f**kstick.” His voice grew louder with every word. “I hope he tips you well.”
“Go home, Jax. I can’t afford to lose this job.”
“Who the f**k do you think you’re talking to, Cass?” He stepped forward, our noses touching.
I refused to back down. I balled my hands into fists at my sides and begged for strength. “Please, Jax. I need this job. Please?”
“I thought you needed me.”
“You know I do, Jax. I’ll be home in a few hours.”
He took a step back and kicked dirt at me before retreating toward the trailer. I let out the breath I had been holding and turned back to the diner.
I slipped inside the door, suddenly nervous as hell.
Tucker was pulling money from his wallet as I entered. He tossed it on the table. His eyes caught mine for a brief moment before he shook his head. “You deserve better, Cass.” He walked past me and out the door.
I felt horrible. Why had Tucker defended me anyway? He didn’t even know me. Why did he give a shit? I forced myself to take deep breaths and count to ten. I didn’t want to cry. I would never hear the end of it from Larry. If he wanted me fired, he could make it happen.
Chapter Four
THE NEXT FEW hours dragged by painfully slowly. I never had more than two tables at a time. Larry wasn’t speaking to me. He would just shake his head and look away whenever I came near him. It was obnoxious. I passed the time decorating my future home in my head. I imagined an immaculate two-story home, white from floor to ceiling. I would plant a garden in my yard and learn to live off my land as much as possible. As much as I tried to picture Jax with me, I could no longer see it. No matter how many times I went through the scenario in my head, it always ended badly between him and me. It was becoming harder and harder to imagine my own mother the way she used to be when I was little. The world was nothing like the fairy tale she’d painted in my head as a child.
The sound of a motorcycle made my heart begin to race. I leaned over a table to look out the dusty window. It wasn’t Tucker, so I turned away, disappointed. Why did I even care? Some random man showed me kindness for the first time in years and I wait by the window like a puppy?
The man who came in looked to be in his early twenties. He ran his hand through hair that hung in black curls to his shoulders. His clothing seemed extreme for the warm weather. He wore a leather jacket and had a motorcycle helmet topped with a red Mohawk under his arm. He pulled off his mirrored sunglasses and glanced around. His eyes landed on me and he smiled before sliding into an oversize booth. He looked exotic with light eyes and a strong, angular jawline.
Just what I needed. I grabbed a menu and made my way to his table. He was looking around the surroundings, and if it were a nicer place, I would think he wanted to rob us. Here, of course, there would be no point. No self-respecting fool would bother.
“Hello. My name is Cass. Can I start you off with something to drink?”
He peeled off his jacket, revealing a wifebeater underneath. His tattoos showed right through it as if it were made of gauze rather than cotton. He was extremely muscular and intimidating. “Beer?”
I just nodded. I could have told him no, but it didn’t seem as if no was an answer he was used to hearing. I hoped Larry wouldn’t mind. I slipped into the kitchen and grabbed a longneck from the fridge. As long as it was paid for, it shouldn’t matter. At least, that’s what I told myself as I got the damn beer.
When I stepped back into the dining room, I did a double take. He’d multiplied. What the . . . A man identical in every way sat directly across from him.
“Hi. I am . . .” I slowly set the beer down in front of the original biker.
“I’ll have a beer, too, Cass. Thanks.” He smiled and I stood stunned, staring at him for a moment before fetching another of Larry’s beers.
What a strange f**king day. I took the doppelgänger his drink and asked them if they wanted to order any food. They declined so I left them to their own devices while I tended to my other customer.