Why Not Tonight
Page 42

Funny how lately her mom had been on her mind so much. She would have thought with the passage of time the memories would get more infrequent. No doubt hanging out with Ronan was part of the reason.
She knew there were women who weren’t close to their moms. How awful. She couldn’t imagine what that would be like—not to have that loving advice, the shared jokes. Her mom had always been her best friend. They’d done everything together.
Her phone buzzed. She looked at the screen and saw she had a text from Ronan.
Want to hang out tonight? I can cook.
Her stomach clenched. Of course she wanted to see him and be with him and enjoy the evening with him, but there was no way she could do that and not blurt out something she would regret. She hesitated only a second before texting back that she was going to be working on wedding flowers for the next couple of hours. Then she turned back to the stack of paper and did her best to make her words true.
Nearly a half hour later, there was a knock on her front door. Natalie answered it only to find Ronan on her landing.
“Hi,” she said as she stepped back to let him inside. “What’s up?”
His gaze settled on her face as if he were looking for something. “I wanted to make sure you were all right. You sounded, I don’t know, different when you texted.”
“It was a text. How could you judge how I sounded?”
He shrugged. “I had a feeling.”
One that was uncomfortably accurate, she thought. Weren’t men supposed to have the emotional intelligence of a plant? Why did Ronan have to be higher on the food chain than that?
For a second, she desperately wanted to tell him the truth. That she was scared. Not only because a baby would totally change everything between them but because it would turn her life upside down in ways she couldn’t begin to imagine. She wasn’t ready; she didn’t have her crap together. A baby would be...complicated.
But to say that was to go somewhere that couldn’t be ungone. She frowned. That wasn’t right. Ungone? Who said that?
“Natalie?”
“What? Oh, sorry.” She led the way to her studio. “I’m okay. Just feeling swamped.” She pointed to the stacks of paper, the crates of vases and completed flowers. “I wasn’t kidding about working. I’m struggling to keep up my daily flower count. When I figured out my schedule, I wasn’t helping Pallas with other aspects of the wedding. Of course I want to be there for Pallas, but there’s more to do than I’d realized. Between that and the flowers and work and trying to do at least a little project for myself, I’m running out of hours in the day.”
He put his hand on the small of her back. “You’re right. It’s a lot. There’s also our bridge project.”
“What?” The word came out as a shriek. “I totally forgot about that.”
“Don’t worry. Mathias and I are taking care of it.”
“But we’re doing it together. I need to help.”
“When would you do that?”
“I don’t know but I should...”
She should be doing something, but it was hard to think when Ronan leaned in and kissed her. His mouth was firm, yet teasing, as if he was simply kissing her because it was fun and not because he expected anything.
“Prioritize,” he told her. “Wedding and work come first. Then your art, then the bridge project.”
“Are you telling me what to do?”
“I’m suggesting.”
It was a good suggestion, one that made sense. “It’s just...”
He kissed her again, then turned her so they were both staring at her big worktable. “Let me help. I can hand you paper or cut things out, or glue or keep count. Or if I’d only be in the way, tell me and I’ll head out.”
He was being so nice. It wasn’t fair. She really wanted to spend the evening with him and having help would be great. But what if she said something accidentally?
Natalie wanted to slap herself. Did she really think she was incapable of keeping even the slightest control over herself? Was she that irresponsible? The only reason she didn’t know if she was pregnant or not was her unwillingness to take the test before Saturday. There was no way she was going to say anything to Ronan before she was sure. It wasn’t fair to him or their relationship. She needed to grow a pair, so to speak, and start acting like an adult.
“Help would be fantastic,” she told him. “Thank you.”
“Want me to start by grabbing us takeout for dinner?”
She laughed. “Yes, please. Then you can glue the little beads on the flowers for me.”
“I live to serve. How does pizza sound?”
“Excellent. Everything on it?”
“I would have picked you as a roasted-vegetable kind of girl.”
She rolled her eyes. “Ha, ha. Why ruin a perfectly good pizza with that? Let’s do meat.”
“See, you just keep getting better and better.” He pulled out his phone and scrolled through the apps, then found the one for their local pizza place. Seconds later, he’d ordered it. “I’ll be back in fifteen minutes. We’ll eat, then we’ll get to work.”
“Thanks. I really appreciate your help.”
“I’m happy to be here, Natalie. I hope you know that.”
She nodded because she had a bad feeling that if she tried to speak she would burst into tears. Which was ridiculous. She was fine. He was a great guy and they were having a good time and absolutely nothing else. Seriously. She had her emotions firmly in check. Really. It was a done deal.
CHAPTER FOURTEEN
FRIDAY MORNING CAME damned early. Ronan was up at five so he could make a quick protein shake before heading to town to meet his brothers in the park at six. After that he would go to the studio. He’d had a full team of interns all week and was making good progress on his commission. He had a few more things he wanted to get done today. At least he was getting an early start. Even with meeting his brothers, he would still be at the work studio long before his usual time.
He drank his breakfast on the way, then realized about five miles too late he should have made coffee, as well. Now it would be at least an hour and a half before he had his first cup. He had remembered a water bottle, so he would have that when the workout was done. He arrived at the park to find Nick and Mathias were already waiting for him. Both looked far more alert than he felt.
“Good morning,” Nick called. “Isn’t this great? We should have started working out together years ago.”
“Why?” Ronan asked. “It’s too early.”
Mathias looked smug. “That’s right. You’re a night owl. Too bad. I love the mornings. The earlier, the better.”
“Bite me.”
Like his brothers, Ronan wore shorts and a T-shirt, along with athletic shoes. Nick had said something about running and a few other things. The morning was cool, but he knew he would work up a sweat soon enough.
“So here’s the plan,” Mathias said. “We’re going to start with a four-mile run.”
“I thought the race was only a 5K,” Ronan said.
“It is, but this way we’re more than ready for it.”
“Or we’ll overtrain,” Ronan grumbled. “You know, I have a gym at home. I could have done this there.”
“No one trusts you.” Nick’s tone was cheerful.
“You’re saying I would lie about working out?”