Why Not Tonight
Page 52

“I’m trying. Now, do you know everyone?”
Carol led Natalie into the family room and started circulating with her. Ronan watched to make sure she was all right, then turned back to Mathias.
“She’ll be fine,” his brother said. “She met the family at the fundraiser for Millie’s herd last year, then at our wedding. Come and say hi and then I’ll get you a beer.”
“A reward for good behavior?”
“Something like that.”
Ronan hesitated a second before following his brother into the family room. He waited for the now-familiar tension he often felt when he was around his brothers. A sense of otherness that always drove him to the fringes. But it wasn’t noticeable today. Instead he was comfortable as he hugged Maya and Shelby and slapped his brothers on the back.
In a matter of minutes, the ten of them had split off by gender. The women were in the kitchen, talking and laughing, while the brothers sat on the large sofas in the family room.
“You in any kind of shape for our challenge?” Nick asked Del. “Or are you still soft?”
Del raised his eyebrows. “I’ll take you, little brother, just like I did when we were kids. Now, later or in twenty years.”
“You wish.”
Both brothers laughed. Ronan knew that for all their cheap talk, the truth was Del had always looked out for his younger siblings. Even when they’d been split into the artist and nonartist factions, Del had taken care of them. He’d been the oldest and all the expectations had fallen on him.
“Maya and I work out together,” Del told them. “I’m going to be faster and stronger than any of you.”
“Huh.” Mathias sipped his beer. “I see you talking, bro, but all I hear is a buzzing sound.”
Del laughed.
The women called them to help get ready for dinner. The large dining room table was set for ten. Ronan noticed a couple of bottles of champagne, along with sparkling nonalcoholic cider for Pallas. Mathias and Carol had ordered in from a local Italian restaurant. Salads were served while the lasagna and garlic bread warmed in the oven.
Mathias sat at one end of the table, with Carol sitting at the other end, across from him. The rest of them claimed seats. Champagne and cider were passed around, and then Mathias raised his glass.
“To family,” he said. “And those we love.”
“Hear, hear.”
They’d barely started eating when Del cleared his throat. “So Maya and I have an announcement.” Del glanced at his wife and smiled. “We’re moving back to the States.”
“Great,” Nick said with a wink. “The Chinese government finally throwing you two out?”
“Nothing like that. We’ve finished our project and we’re ready to come home for a year or so.”
“Where are you going to settle?” Aidan asked. “Fool’s Gold?”
“Happily Inc is much better,” Mathias said. “Move here. You can do whatever you want without Mayor Marsha knowing about it.”
“Dude,” Nick said with a grin. “You know she still keeps track of us.”
“No way.”
Del and Maya exchanged a look. Ronan didn’t know what they were thinking, but he caught the intimacy in the gaze, and for a second, he felt a surprising jolt of envy. He was careful not to look at Natalie—he didn’t want her to misunderstand or think he’d changed his mind about wanting more than they had. But for a second, just a second, he wondered what it would be like to be comfortable enough to want more and know it was possible.
“We haven’t decided where yet,” Maya said, still looking at her husband. “But we’re definitely leaning toward Fool’s Gold. I don’t have any family and I want to be close to Elaine.”
Ronan’s good mood started to fade. Natalie reached across his lap and took his hand in hers, as if to calm him.
“Elaine?” Nick sounded surprised. “Not that I don’t love my mom, but why would she influence your decision?”
Maya flushed slightly. “I don’t have my mother around anymore and, well, we’re going to have a baby.”
“What?”
“No way!”
“That’s fantastic!”
Everyone started talking at once. Ronan looked more closely and realized Maya had taken cider, too. He could tell by the color in the glass. And Shelby’s glass was—
“Us, too,” Aidan said proudly. “Shelby just passed the three-month mark.”
“No way,” Mathias said, eyeing his wife. “Carol?”
She smiled. “We were going to wait another two weeks to make the announcement, but sure. Why not?” She shrugged. “I’m eight weeks along.”
Everyone laughed and then toasted again. Ronan felt as if he’d been kicked in the gut. He was the only one of his brothers who wasn’t married, let alone with a pregnant wife. What the hell was going on?
Involuntarily, he glanced at Natalie, who looked happy as she clinked glasses with her friends. He told himself he didn’t see anything in her eyes, only he wasn’t sure if he was simply fooling himself. Natalie wanted kids—she’d downloaded that baby app, after all. Not that she’d mentioned it much lately, but who knew what she was doing when she was alone. Maybe she was researching sperm banks or something.
He grew less comfortable by the second and thought longingly of escape. It was all too much.
Time slowed as his brothers and their wives discussed pregnancy, birth, names and hoped-for gender of their soon-to-be children. Natalie joined in the conversation, but Ronan stayed quiet.
The only bright spot was the upcoming challenge. Pallas pointed out they all needed a good night’s sleep and the dinner broke up shortly after dessert.
“Are you all right?” Natalie asked as he helped her into the truck.
“I’m fine. Thinking about tomorrow. Nick’s expecting us to win and we have no idea about the competition. I hate to see his competitive heart broken.”
As he’d hoped, Natalie accepted his words at face value and grinned. “You’re right. Someone could be bringing in a few ringers and then what? We’ll just have to see.” She leaned back in her seat. “All right, young man. Take me home. You shouldn’t be distracted by a woman tonight. You have to save yourself for the competition.”
“Yes, ma’am.”
He did his best to sound teasing rather than relieved. He’d been wondering how he was going to avoid spending the night with Natalie. He needed to be alone, to process everything. The sensation of being trapped only grew and more than anything he wanted to run.
He dropped her off, kissed her once, then was on his way up to his place. At the edge of town, he hesitated. The highway beckoned and in a matter of hours he could be in another state. He could just drive until he got lost for good.
His hands tightened on the steering wheel. No, he told himself. He wasn’t going to run. He was going to see this out. Although he had no idea what “this” was, nor did he know what seeing it out meant. He just knew that if he screwed up this time, if he got himself lost, he might go so far that he would never be found. And even he wasn’t sure he really wanted that.
* * *
THE MORNING OF the competition was cool and clear with heat promised for the afternoon. Ronan arrived still wrestling with all the emotional crap from his family. The last thing he wanted was to endure the competition, although he told himself once he had a good, hard workout, everything would look better. He hoped like hell he wasn’t lying.