Wicked Cravings
Page 48
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Days four, five, and six went pretty much the same way. Thankfully, Ivy and Riley had provided more tranquilizers so that he could keep knocking the wolf out whenever he needed to clean her cage. Both women had also asked to help care for her while she was in this state, claiming that they were experienced with traumatized animals. While that was true, he refused their offer. He wanted few scents in that room, and he wanted to be the one to heal her. He should be the one to heal her.
Day seven had been a truly bad day. She’d attacked the cage so hard that she’d cut open her paws. After giving her another tranquilizer shot, he and Grace had seen to the injuries. As soon as the wolf was aware and alert again, she’d torn off the bandages with her teeth and attacked the crate even harder than before. Still, Dante stuck to his plan of remaining with her and being the one who saw to all her needs. The problem was that whereas before she had more or less tolerated his presence, she was now angered by it rather than comforted.
The days began to blend and blur until, before he knew it, it had been another seven days and Jaime’s wolf was showing no signs of retreating. Agitated would be a mild word to describe how Dante was feeling. Occasionally he had snapped or shouted at the wolf, frustrated that none of his efforts were making her even slightly associate him with safety. Each time he snapped, her wolf would practically jump out of her skin and cower. And didn’t that make him feeling like a cruel son of a bitch.
As for Jaime…The truth that he hadn’t told anyone was that he couldn’t sense her very well anymore. He knew that she wasn’t weakening in spirit or admitting defeat. It was simply that her wolf’s state was so prevailing now that she practically drowned out Jaime. In short, she was truly at risk of turning rogue. His wolf was constantly fretting and anxious, which only made Dante’s mood worse. That was most likely why Shaya had encouraged him several times to go get some air or go for a run, but he wouldn’t leave his mate. He’d stuck to his plan so far, and he was going to continue sticking to it.
The trouble was that with each day that passed, he sensed Jaime that little bit less. A sense of defeat soon began to creep in and slither through him, tempting him to accept that she wasn’t coming back, that the wolf would soon turn rogue. There were times over the next week when he almost did, but then he would catch himself succumbing and would give himself a mental slap, praying that Jaime hadn’t sensed through their bond that he’d almost given up on her.
It was day twenty-three—or was it twenty-five? Dante wasn’t even sure anymore—when Trey came in the room for the first time. They had all agreed that since the Alpha had angered the black wolf by trying to dominate her, it might be better if he stayed away. Dante watched his mate, looking for her reaction to Trey’s presence. Nothing. She simply remained curled up in a ball, peering out of the cage through depressed, confused eyes that plucked at his heart. Some days she was like this.
Others she was a ball of fury. He never knew what he’d be dealing with when he woke in the morning. In either state, she was unreceptive to him and everybody else.
“Hey,” he said to Dante. “How’s she been today?”
“She’s been quiet, but she hasn’t eaten and she’s jumpy.” Even he could hear the hopelessness and fatigue in his voice.
Minutes of absolute silence passed before Trey spoke again. “Dante, maybe it would be kinder if—”
“No.” He’d known this was coming the second Trey entered the room. It had only been a matter of time before someone suggested it. Trey was the only one who ever would have done so, and for very personal reasons. While Dante understood those reasons, it didn’t ease his ire.
“Dante—”
“I said no.” His voice was barely controlled.
Trey sighed. “You’re not thinking of Jaime. Imagine how she’s feeling right now.”
“I don’t have to. I know how she’s feeling.” Well, on some days he did—just a little.
“I know what it’s like to be nothing but an observer while your wolf takes the front seat and does things you would never do. Sometimes I think that it’s how a ghost would feel, if there are such things. You can see and hear all these people you care about, you know everything that’s going on, but you can’t be part of any of it, you can’t talk to any of those people. You’re stuck. Trapped. Alone.
Helpless. Jaime’s been trapped like that for twenty-eight days now.” Twenty-eight? Huh. Longer than he’d thought.
“You told us that when this happened the first time, it was three weeks later that her wolf retreated. It’s been four weeks, and her wolf isn’t showing any signs of doing that, Dante. Unless her wolf’s state somehow improves, Jaime can’t push for the surface. It’s looking very unlikely that she’s going to be able to.”
“Jaime’s strong enough to do this,” he insisted. “I know she is.”
“Yes, she’s strong, but so is her wolf. She was even strong enough to ignore my order to back down. Her wolf has spent a long time all locked up, and instead of accepting that she was confined, she fought it. She didn’t stop fighting, and I don’t think she’ll stop fighting this either. Maybe it’s time to—”
“I can’t kill her, Trey. I won’t.”
“It wouldn’t be killing her,” Trey said quickly, ignoring the vehemence in Dante’s voice. “It would be giving her and her wolf some peace. Jaime has spent a lot of her life fighting. If anyone deserves some peace, it’s her.”
“And if this was Taryn we were talking about?”
Trey’s expression hardened. “Dante—”
“If this was Taryn?” he persisted, louder this time.
“The God’s honest truth? I’d be giving myself the same advice that I’m giving you. I wouldn’t want her to suffer in any way, especially just because I’ll miss her. You have to put Jaime first. It’s what mates do.”
“He’s right, Dante.”
The second that feminine voice spoke—a voice he couldn’t say he’d in any way missed over the past four weeks—his mate leaped at the crate, growling and snarling at the visitor. His own wolf wasn’t pleased either.
“This would be the kind thing to do,” said Laurie, her face sad and painted with sympathy. “I mean, look at her. One minute she’s huddled in a corner, and the next thing she’s like this. I’d say it’ll only be a day or so before she turns rogue. It’s not fair to Jaime.” When Laurie went to place her hand on his arm, Dante jerked away from her and snapped,
“Don’t touch me.” He noted that Jaime’s wolf eased a little at that, though she was still growling.
“Dante, don’t be like that.”
“Like what? What is it you actually expect?” He still couldn’t work out what this female wanted. She was supposed to have left by now, but had apparently come up with excuse after excuse for staying longer.
“Look, I know it will be hard when she’s gone, but we’ll all be here for you.” I’ll be here for you, she didn’t say, but he heard. Everything Grace had said came swimming back to the forefront of his mind.
“You think that if I lose Jaime, I’ll go back to you, is that it?” Surely it wasn’t.
“The bond isn’t fully in place. You could survive her death, and we could—”
“Are you f**king insane? I would never go back to you, never—Jaime or no Jaime.” Her face crumpled a little. “I understand if you hate me—”
“I don’t hate you, don’t you get it? I don’t anything. You are nothing to me. Understand?
Nothing. She”—he pointed at the wolf who was now still and watching, quiet and curious—“is everything to me. Everything. Healthy or traumatized, she’s all I want, and she’s mine.” He turned to Trey then. “So no, I won’t kill her. I refuse to give up on Jaime or her wolf. Jaime won’t give up fighting, I know she won’t. Neither will I. Now, both of you get out.” When Laurie reached out to him, he yelled, “Get out!”
The black wolf watched her mate, surprised and curious. He had rejected the female who coveted him. He had moved away from her touch. He had ordered her to leave. What the wolf found just as surprising was that he had ordered away their Alpha. The memory of the Alpha attempting to dominate her made a low growl involuntarily slip out.
The sound made her mate turn. He moved toward her prison. His movements were slow and unthreatening. The wolf felt his emotions, some of which she understood—sadness, worry, anger. He spoke to her. The words were undistinguishable, but she watched him silently.
“Maybe they’re right.” He cocked his head. She copied the move. His voice was different, uneven. “Maybe I’m being a cruel bastard. But I can’t do it. Even though I can feel you slipping away from me, Jaime, I can’t. I love you, you know. I didn’t tell you that, did I? I was too f**king proud to say it first. Please, baby, you have to come back to me. You said you wouldn’t leave me again, and you can’t. You promised.”
A strong smell of salt filled the air, out of place in the room.
The wolf sensed Jaime strongly then. Knew Jaime wanted dominance. Knew Jaime was sad.
But those details were unimportant to the wolf. While they were unsafe and imprisoned, those details did not matter.
Surprising the wolf again, her mate left. He never left. Her mate was supposed to stay with her. He had gone. Left her and Jaime alone. A whine escaped her and she lay down again, uncertain and wary.
She lifted her head when the door suddenly opened. But it was not her mate. It was again the female who coveted him. The wolf growled, wanting her to leave. The female halted and the wolf smelled her fear, but the female didn’t go.
“I know you don’t want me here, but I’ve come to let you free. Won’t that be fun? I know you can hear me, Jaime, and you’re probably wondering why I’d free your wolf. The answer’s simple.
Dante doesn’t seem to have any intention of killing you. So I figure I’ll let you out, let you attack someone, and then they’ll have to kill you, won’t they? Imagine how much fun it will be for you to watch while your wolf tears apart one of the people you love.” The wolf growled again when the female moved. Still, she came close and picked up the object beside the prison. The female touched the prison with the object. There was a noise, a click.
The wolf growled louder, curling her lip to expose teeth and gums. The female quickly moved away.
“Done. Try not to attack Dante if you can help it. He’s gone off to cry, poor guy.” The female left, but did not close the door. The wolf saw freedom. Instantly she attacked the prison again and again and again. A wall of the prison opened. The wolf was out.
Instinctively the wolf was quiet, fearing the unknown, fearing the scents, though they were familiar. The scent of her mate was heavy, tempting. But there was another scent that was tempting. A scent, a…presence. Familiar and inviting. It promised safety. Comfort. The wolf needed safety.
Silently, the wolf padded through the large den, following the scent. Midway through a tunnel, she heard voices in the room nearby and slowed her pace. Her mind recognized the voices, linked them with names “Grace” and “Shaya.” She recognized the scents coming from the room—food. The scents were appealing, but not as appealing as the other scent. It was stronger now. Safety was close.
The wolf passed the room slowly, quietly, stealthily. Jaime approved, she sensed. The wolf continued to follow the inviting scent. She silently went through more tunnels, careful to avoid detection. Turning a corner, she stopped. Packmates. She reversed until only her head was visible, observing those she scented as her Alphas and “Dominic.”
They were threats, danger, they made her frightened. Instinct said “flee.” But safety was so near now. So tempting. As the packmates spoke, facing the other direction, the wolf lowered her body and moved forward. She stayed close to the wall, pausing when the words stopped. Always silent, careful, and stealthy, the wolf moved until the scent was overwhelming.
The packmates were still speaking when she followed the scent into a room. Slowly she padded along soft ground. There was another strong scent here. “Cat,” she knew. “Hunk.” It hissed when she neared the large object that contained safety, but it made no threatening move.
The wolf knew that she needed to climb to get to safety. There was another object. It smelled much like a tree. “Chair.” She hopped nimbly onto it and saw that the large object containing safety was like her prison. But there was no wall at the top. The wolf looked inside and inhaled deeply. A pup. “Kye.” Just like when Jaime had held him, the pup smelled to the wolf like safety and—
Movement caught her eye. Packmates. She froze. They froze.
“Dominic” spoke. “Trey…Tell me that’s not Jaime.”
“She must have attacked Dante and gotten out.”
The Alpha female spoke then. “I don’t smell blood.”
“Dominic” scented of nervousness. “What do we do? I don’t want to hurt Jaime, I really don’t, but what if she hurts Kye?”
“I wonder what made her come here.”
The Alpha male growled at his mate. “That’s not the important part of the situation we have here, Taryn.” He put an object to his ear. “Dante, you okay? Jaime got out. She’s in mine and Taryn’s room, hanging over the crib.”
The wolf didn’t like that the Alpha male’s voice was now loud and angry. She growled warningly. He growled back.
Day seven had been a truly bad day. She’d attacked the cage so hard that she’d cut open her paws. After giving her another tranquilizer shot, he and Grace had seen to the injuries. As soon as the wolf was aware and alert again, she’d torn off the bandages with her teeth and attacked the crate even harder than before. Still, Dante stuck to his plan of remaining with her and being the one who saw to all her needs. The problem was that whereas before she had more or less tolerated his presence, she was now angered by it rather than comforted.
The days began to blend and blur until, before he knew it, it had been another seven days and Jaime’s wolf was showing no signs of retreating. Agitated would be a mild word to describe how Dante was feeling. Occasionally he had snapped or shouted at the wolf, frustrated that none of his efforts were making her even slightly associate him with safety. Each time he snapped, her wolf would practically jump out of her skin and cower. And didn’t that make him feeling like a cruel son of a bitch.
As for Jaime…The truth that he hadn’t told anyone was that he couldn’t sense her very well anymore. He knew that she wasn’t weakening in spirit or admitting defeat. It was simply that her wolf’s state was so prevailing now that she practically drowned out Jaime. In short, she was truly at risk of turning rogue. His wolf was constantly fretting and anxious, which only made Dante’s mood worse. That was most likely why Shaya had encouraged him several times to go get some air or go for a run, but he wouldn’t leave his mate. He’d stuck to his plan so far, and he was going to continue sticking to it.
The trouble was that with each day that passed, he sensed Jaime that little bit less. A sense of defeat soon began to creep in and slither through him, tempting him to accept that she wasn’t coming back, that the wolf would soon turn rogue. There were times over the next week when he almost did, but then he would catch himself succumbing and would give himself a mental slap, praying that Jaime hadn’t sensed through their bond that he’d almost given up on her.
It was day twenty-three—or was it twenty-five? Dante wasn’t even sure anymore—when Trey came in the room for the first time. They had all agreed that since the Alpha had angered the black wolf by trying to dominate her, it might be better if he stayed away. Dante watched his mate, looking for her reaction to Trey’s presence. Nothing. She simply remained curled up in a ball, peering out of the cage through depressed, confused eyes that plucked at his heart. Some days she was like this.
Others she was a ball of fury. He never knew what he’d be dealing with when he woke in the morning. In either state, she was unreceptive to him and everybody else.
“Hey,” he said to Dante. “How’s she been today?”
“She’s been quiet, but she hasn’t eaten and she’s jumpy.” Even he could hear the hopelessness and fatigue in his voice.
Minutes of absolute silence passed before Trey spoke again. “Dante, maybe it would be kinder if—”
“No.” He’d known this was coming the second Trey entered the room. It had only been a matter of time before someone suggested it. Trey was the only one who ever would have done so, and for very personal reasons. While Dante understood those reasons, it didn’t ease his ire.
“Dante—”
“I said no.” His voice was barely controlled.
Trey sighed. “You’re not thinking of Jaime. Imagine how she’s feeling right now.”
“I don’t have to. I know how she’s feeling.” Well, on some days he did—just a little.
“I know what it’s like to be nothing but an observer while your wolf takes the front seat and does things you would never do. Sometimes I think that it’s how a ghost would feel, if there are such things. You can see and hear all these people you care about, you know everything that’s going on, but you can’t be part of any of it, you can’t talk to any of those people. You’re stuck. Trapped. Alone.
Helpless. Jaime’s been trapped like that for twenty-eight days now.” Twenty-eight? Huh. Longer than he’d thought.
“You told us that when this happened the first time, it was three weeks later that her wolf retreated. It’s been four weeks, and her wolf isn’t showing any signs of doing that, Dante. Unless her wolf’s state somehow improves, Jaime can’t push for the surface. It’s looking very unlikely that she’s going to be able to.”
“Jaime’s strong enough to do this,” he insisted. “I know she is.”
“Yes, she’s strong, but so is her wolf. She was even strong enough to ignore my order to back down. Her wolf has spent a long time all locked up, and instead of accepting that she was confined, she fought it. She didn’t stop fighting, and I don’t think she’ll stop fighting this either. Maybe it’s time to—”
“I can’t kill her, Trey. I won’t.”
“It wouldn’t be killing her,” Trey said quickly, ignoring the vehemence in Dante’s voice. “It would be giving her and her wolf some peace. Jaime has spent a lot of her life fighting. If anyone deserves some peace, it’s her.”
“And if this was Taryn we were talking about?”
Trey’s expression hardened. “Dante—”
“If this was Taryn?” he persisted, louder this time.
“The God’s honest truth? I’d be giving myself the same advice that I’m giving you. I wouldn’t want her to suffer in any way, especially just because I’ll miss her. You have to put Jaime first. It’s what mates do.”
“He’s right, Dante.”
The second that feminine voice spoke—a voice he couldn’t say he’d in any way missed over the past four weeks—his mate leaped at the crate, growling and snarling at the visitor. His own wolf wasn’t pleased either.
“This would be the kind thing to do,” said Laurie, her face sad and painted with sympathy. “I mean, look at her. One minute she’s huddled in a corner, and the next thing she’s like this. I’d say it’ll only be a day or so before she turns rogue. It’s not fair to Jaime.” When Laurie went to place her hand on his arm, Dante jerked away from her and snapped,
“Don’t touch me.” He noted that Jaime’s wolf eased a little at that, though she was still growling.
“Dante, don’t be like that.”
“Like what? What is it you actually expect?” He still couldn’t work out what this female wanted. She was supposed to have left by now, but had apparently come up with excuse after excuse for staying longer.
“Look, I know it will be hard when she’s gone, but we’ll all be here for you.” I’ll be here for you, she didn’t say, but he heard. Everything Grace had said came swimming back to the forefront of his mind.
“You think that if I lose Jaime, I’ll go back to you, is that it?” Surely it wasn’t.
“The bond isn’t fully in place. You could survive her death, and we could—”
“Are you f**king insane? I would never go back to you, never—Jaime or no Jaime.” Her face crumpled a little. “I understand if you hate me—”
“I don’t hate you, don’t you get it? I don’t anything. You are nothing to me. Understand?
Nothing. She”—he pointed at the wolf who was now still and watching, quiet and curious—“is everything to me. Everything. Healthy or traumatized, she’s all I want, and she’s mine.” He turned to Trey then. “So no, I won’t kill her. I refuse to give up on Jaime or her wolf. Jaime won’t give up fighting, I know she won’t. Neither will I. Now, both of you get out.” When Laurie reached out to him, he yelled, “Get out!”
The black wolf watched her mate, surprised and curious. He had rejected the female who coveted him. He had moved away from her touch. He had ordered her to leave. What the wolf found just as surprising was that he had ordered away their Alpha. The memory of the Alpha attempting to dominate her made a low growl involuntarily slip out.
The sound made her mate turn. He moved toward her prison. His movements were slow and unthreatening. The wolf felt his emotions, some of which she understood—sadness, worry, anger. He spoke to her. The words were undistinguishable, but she watched him silently.
“Maybe they’re right.” He cocked his head. She copied the move. His voice was different, uneven. “Maybe I’m being a cruel bastard. But I can’t do it. Even though I can feel you slipping away from me, Jaime, I can’t. I love you, you know. I didn’t tell you that, did I? I was too f**king proud to say it first. Please, baby, you have to come back to me. You said you wouldn’t leave me again, and you can’t. You promised.”
A strong smell of salt filled the air, out of place in the room.
The wolf sensed Jaime strongly then. Knew Jaime wanted dominance. Knew Jaime was sad.
But those details were unimportant to the wolf. While they were unsafe and imprisoned, those details did not matter.
Surprising the wolf again, her mate left. He never left. Her mate was supposed to stay with her. He had gone. Left her and Jaime alone. A whine escaped her and she lay down again, uncertain and wary.
She lifted her head when the door suddenly opened. But it was not her mate. It was again the female who coveted him. The wolf growled, wanting her to leave. The female halted and the wolf smelled her fear, but the female didn’t go.
“I know you don’t want me here, but I’ve come to let you free. Won’t that be fun? I know you can hear me, Jaime, and you’re probably wondering why I’d free your wolf. The answer’s simple.
Dante doesn’t seem to have any intention of killing you. So I figure I’ll let you out, let you attack someone, and then they’ll have to kill you, won’t they? Imagine how much fun it will be for you to watch while your wolf tears apart one of the people you love.” The wolf growled again when the female moved. Still, she came close and picked up the object beside the prison. The female touched the prison with the object. There was a noise, a click.
The wolf growled louder, curling her lip to expose teeth and gums. The female quickly moved away.
“Done. Try not to attack Dante if you can help it. He’s gone off to cry, poor guy.” The female left, but did not close the door. The wolf saw freedom. Instantly she attacked the prison again and again and again. A wall of the prison opened. The wolf was out.
Instinctively the wolf was quiet, fearing the unknown, fearing the scents, though they were familiar. The scent of her mate was heavy, tempting. But there was another scent that was tempting. A scent, a…presence. Familiar and inviting. It promised safety. Comfort. The wolf needed safety.
Silently, the wolf padded through the large den, following the scent. Midway through a tunnel, she heard voices in the room nearby and slowed her pace. Her mind recognized the voices, linked them with names “Grace” and “Shaya.” She recognized the scents coming from the room—food. The scents were appealing, but not as appealing as the other scent. It was stronger now. Safety was close.
The wolf passed the room slowly, quietly, stealthily. Jaime approved, she sensed. The wolf continued to follow the inviting scent. She silently went through more tunnels, careful to avoid detection. Turning a corner, she stopped. Packmates. She reversed until only her head was visible, observing those she scented as her Alphas and “Dominic.”
They were threats, danger, they made her frightened. Instinct said “flee.” But safety was so near now. So tempting. As the packmates spoke, facing the other direction, the wolf lowered her body and moved forward. She stayed close to the wall, pausing when the words stopped. Always silent, careful, and stealthy, the wolf moved until the scent was overwhelming.
The packmates were still speaking when she followed the scent into a room. Slowly she padded along soft ground. There was another strong scent here. “Cat,” she knew. “Hunk.” It hissed when she neared the large object that contained safety, but it made no threatening move.
The wolf knew that she needed to climb to get to safety. There was another object. It smelled much like a tree. “Chair.” She hopped nimbly onto it and saw that the large object containing safety was like her prison. But there was no wall at the top. The wolf looked inside and inhaled deeply. A pup. “Kye.” Just like when Jaime had held him, the pup smelled to the wolf like safety and—
Movement caught her eye. Packmates. She froze. They froze.
“Dominic” spoke. “Trey…Tell me that’s not Jaime.”
“She must have attacked Dante and gotten out.”
The Alpha female spoke then. “I don’t smell blood.”
“Dominic” scented of nervousness. “What do we do? I don’t want to hurt Jaime, I really don’t, but what if she hurts Kye?”
“I wonder what made her come here.”
The Alpha male growled at his mate. “That’s not the important part of the situation we have here, Taryn.” He put an object to his ear. “Dante, you okay? Jaime got out. She’s in mine and Taryn’s room, hanging over the crib.”
The wolf didn’t like that the Alpha male’s voice was now loud and angry. She growled warningly. He growled back.