Then she went to the stove to check the potatoes.
I looked to Brock in time to see him jerk his chin up at his father, pass him and turn in the same direction Levi went. Austin and Fritz guided Cob out.
Elvira came to me.
“Shoo, girl, big, ole, honkin’ W… T… F? Your bad boy’s family is whacked. Makes my brother with his skinny, skanky, natty-‘fro ‘ho and my sister with her inability to return that fabulous dress she borrowed without red wine stains seem tame.”
I didn’t think a ‘ho in the family was good news but definitely Brock’s family issues were more intense than a dress returned with wine stains.
“Um…” I mumbled. “Brock’s family is working through some issues.”
“Issues?” she asked, leaning back a bit then leaning back in to confide, “I knew it. Got me a premonition. Woke up and it said, ‘Thanksgivin’ with Tess’. Tellin’ you, girlfriend, this is better than TV.”
Well, it was good someone was enjoying themselves.
“I can’t wait to see what happens next,” she muttered then moved away and the away she moved was in the directions of the plethora of wine bottles on the counter.
I could. I could wait to see what would happen next.
And with what did, Elvira was probably not disappointed.
Chapter Twelve
The Coolest Move Ever
An hour and a half later, I found that, upon calculating the need for dessert, I had not taken into account children who had bottomless stomachs, men who had high metabolisms so they didn’t really need to worry about how much they shoved down their gullets and women who were experiencing one of six days of the year they could let it all hang out (the others being Christmas, New Year’s, Easter, 4th of July and their birthday).
Let’s just say, even though Fern provided a plentiful and delicious Thanksgiving spread, there weren’t a lot of dessert leftovers.
For dinner, at the big table I was sandwiched between Fritz and Austin who made it clear, after Levi’s earlier show that they cast themselves in the roles of my protectors. It was all for one and one for all when it came to being hooked to a member of the Lucas family.
It was also seriously cool and obviously very appreciated.
Brock sat at the head of our table, Fern sat at the foot and Cob, Jill, Kalie, Laura and Elvira rounded out our company. Cob being at the big table meant Levi, who Brock somehow talked into rejoining the family festivities, commandeered Lenore and he sat amongst the card tables set up across the way in the living room with Kellie and her younger cousins.
Although a fair amount of wine and beer were being consumed, the tense atmosphere had not lightened and the only person who seemed oblivious to it was Elvira.
Therefore, I engaged Elvira in conversation knowing from experience anytime Elvira spoke interesting if somewhat surprising and possibly inappropriate things would come out and I did this in the hopes it would lighten the atmosphere.
It did.
Austin and Fritz clearly thought she was a hoot, Cob not far behind, Jill, Laura and Kalie shortly joined in and finally Fern melted. For his part, Brock mostly studied Elvira like she was an unknown creature he didn’t know what to make of but I could sense he was relaxed and pleased his family was enjoying dinner and I could sense this because that was the mood he filled the room with.
Further making things seem almost festive was the fact that Uncle Levi, although having a short fuse, was clearly the funny uncle and much beloved by his siblings’ progeny because laughter rang from the card tables across the way with a lot of giggled, “Uncle Levi! ”
shrieked from Ellie.
Since we made it through dessert without another scene, I relaxed and unfortunately let my guard down.
Therefore, I wasn’t prepared to feel the snap and crackle of Brock’s mood to hit the room.
My head swiveled to him to see his back straight, his face like thunder and his eyes pointed out the window.
Then I heard from the card tables, “You are f**kin’ shitting me.”
This was Levi.
Then suddenly there was motion and that motion was Brock and Levi folding out of their chairs and the rest of us craning our necks to look out the window.
When we saw what we saw, I froze and stared.
Fern, Jill and Laura didn’t freeze.
Fern hissed, “Oh no, I do not think so.”
Jill snapped, “I do not believe that woman.”
And Laura bit off, “On Thanksgiving. ”
Then they jumped up and followed Brock and Levi, Cob going with them and both Fritz and Austin scooted closer to me with Fritz saying, “Kalie, honey, you and your sister get your cousins downstairs, yeah?”
Kalie turned her own angry face from her contemplation of the window (Kalie and Kellie, I had noted much like their younger counterparts, had a close relationship with their Uncle Slim and had also, it would appear, been old enough to have some dealings with Olivia and, it would also appear, had not liked those dealings) and she headed to the living room to do what she was told.
I hadn’t moved.
That was because Olivia was outside.
What on earth?
“Uh… who’s that?” Elvira asked the window, still looking out and now Olivia was standing on the front walk confronting the full force of the Lucas Brigade.
“Brock’s ex-wife,” I whispered.
“Oo lawdy,” Elvira whispered back.
She could say that again.
Half a second later, we heard Laura shriek, “Bitch! ” and we saw her lunge at Olivia.
Elvira repeated a whispered now emphasized, “Oo lawdy, ” and Austin muttered, “Fuck,”
at my side, pushed his chair back and took off as I watched Brock plant a hand in his sister’s chest, Cob wrap his arm around his daughter’s waist and pull back and Olivia lift both her extraordinary hands to her face and melt into beautiful woman tears which every woman on the face of the earth knew held magical powers over any man who was breathing as long as that man wasn’t blind.
Oh man.
“I’m just going to, uh… start to clear the dishes.” I heard Lenore whisper.
Fritz muttered, “Good idea, Lenore. Elvira? Tess, honey, why don’t you two help? I’m gonna go on outside.”
And outside words were being exchanged while Brock was leading a still sobbing Olivia down the walkway with a hand at the small of her back and I decided Lenore’s idea was an excellent one.
So I nodded, got up and started to help her as Fritz headed out.
“I got your back, sister, I’ll keep an eye out,” Elvira told me but I didn’t answer. I started loading my hands with plates.
I looked to Brock in time to see him jerk his chin up at his father, pass him and turn in the same direction Levi went. Austin and Fritz guided Cob out.
Elvira came to me.
“Shoo, girl, big, ole, honkin’ W… T… F? Your bad boy’s family is whacked. Makes my brother with his skinny, skanky, natty-‘fro ‘ho and my sister with her inability to return that fabulous dress she borrowed without red wine stains seem tame.”
I didn’t think a ‘ho in the family was good news but definitely Brock’s family issues were more intense than a dress returned with wine stains.
“Um…” I mumbled. “Brock’s family is working through some issues.”
“Issues?” she asked, leaning back a bit then leaning back in to confide, “I knew it. Got me a premonition. Woke up and it said, ‘Thanksgivin’ with Tess’. Tellin’ you, girlfriend, this is better than TV.”
Well, it was good someone was enjoying themselves.
“I can’t wait to see what happens next,” she muttered then moved away and the away she moved was in the directions of the plethora of wine bottles on the counter.
I could. I could wait to see what would happen next.
And with what did, Elvira was probably not disappointed.
Chapter Twelve
The Coolest Move Ever
An hour and a half later, I found that, upon calculating the need for dessert, I had not taken into account children who had bottomless stomachs, men who had high metabolisms so they didn’t really need to worry about how much they shoved down their gullets and women who were experiencing one of six days of the year they could let it all hang out (the others being Christmas, New Year’s, Easter, 4th of July and their birthday).
Let’s just say, even though Fern provided a plentiful and delicious Thanksgiving spread, there weren’t a lot of dessert leftovers.
For dinner, at the big table I was sandwiched between Fritz and Austin who made it clear, after Levi’s earlier show that they cast themselves in the roles of my protectors. It was all for one and one for all when it came to being hooked to a member of the Lucas family.
It was also seriously cool and obviously very appreciated.
Brock sat at the head of our table, Fern sat at the foot and Cob, Jill, Kalie, Laura and Elvira rounded out our company. Cob being at the big table meant Levi, who Brock somehow talked into rejoining the family festivities, commandeered Lenore and he sat amongst the card tables set up across the way in the living room with Kellie and her younger cousins.
Although a fair amount of wine and beer were being consumed, the tense atmosphere had not lightened and the only person who seemed oblivious to it was Elvira.
Therefore, I engaged Elvira in conversation knowing from experience anytime Elvira spoke interesting if somewhat surprising and possibly inappropriate things would come out and I did this in the hopes it would lighten the atmosphere.
It did.
Austin and Fritz clearly thought she was a hoot, Cob not far behind, Jill, Laura and Kalie shortly joined in and finally Fern melted. For his part, Brock mostly studied Elvira like she was an unknown creature he didn’t know what to make of but I could sense he was relaxed and pleased his family was enjoying dinner and I could sense this because that was the mood he filled the room with.
Further making things seem almost festive was the fact that Uncle Levi, although having a short fuse, was clearly the funny uncle and much beloved by his siblings’ progeny because laughter rang from the card tables across the way with a lot of giggled, “Uncle Levi! ”
shrieked from Ellie.
Since we made it through dessert without another scene, I relaxed and unfortunately let my guard down.
Therefore, I wasn’t prepared to feel the snap and crackle of Brock’s mood to hit the room.
My head swiveled to him to see his back straight, his face like thunder and his eyes pointed out the window.
Then I heard from the card tables, “You are f**kin’ shitting me.”
This was Levi.
Then suddenly there was motion and that motion was Brock and Levi folding out of their chairs and the rest of us craning our necks to look out the window.
When we saw what we saw, I froze and stared.
Fern, Jill and Laura didn’t freeze.
Fern hissed, “Oh no, I do not think so.”
Jill snapped, “I do not believe that woman.”
And Laura bit off, “On Thanksgiving. ”
Then they jumped up and followed Brock and Levi, Cob going with them and both Fritz and Austin scooted closer to me with Fritz saying, “Kalie, honey, you and your sister get your cousins downstairs, yeah?”
Kalie turned her own angry face from her contemplation of the window (Kalie and Kellie, I had noted much like their younger counterparts, had a close relationship with their Uncle Slim and had also, it would appear, been old enough to have some dealings with Olivia and, it would also appear, had not liked those dealings) and she headed to the living room to do what she was told.
I hadn’t moved.
That was because Olivia was outside.
What on earth?
“Uh… who’s that?” Elvira asked the window, still looking out and now Olivia was standing on the front walk confronting the full force of the Lucas Brigade.
“Brock’s ex-wife,” I whispered.
“Oo lawdy,” Elvira whispered back.
She could say that again.
Half a second later, we heard Laura shriek, “Bitch! ” and we saw her lunge at Olivia.
Elvira repeated a whispered now emphasized, “Oo lawdy, ” and Austin muttered, “Fuck,”
at my side, pushed his chair back and took off as I watched Brock plant a hand in his sister’s chest, Cob wrap his arm around his daughter’s waist and pull back and Olivia lift both her extraordinary hands to her face and melt into beautiful woman tears which every woman on the face of the earth knew held magical powers over any man who was breathing as long as that man wasn’t blind.
Oh man.
“I’m just going to, uh… start to clear the dishes.” I heard Lenore whisper.
Fritz muttered, “Good idea, Lenore. Elvira? Tess, honey, why don’t you two help? I’m gonna go on outside.”
And outside words were being exchanged while Brock was leading a still sobbing Olivia down the walkway with a hand at the small of her back and I decided Lenore’s idea was an excellent one.
So I nodded, got up and started to help her as Fritz headed out.
“I got your back, sister, I’ll keep an eye out,” Elvira told me but I didn’t answer. I started loading my hands with plates.
