Whoa.
“You exist,” Martha snapped and my eyes moved from Dolly to her.
“Hey,” I said softly.
Suffice it to say, with my life as crazy as it was, I didn’t have time for Martha except for some random texts and quick phone calls.
And suffice it to say, Martha wasn’t down with that.
She pushed in and her posse pushed in with her, Elvira giving me a wide-eyed look that spoke volumes and those volumes were that I needed to brace because Martha was on a tear.
She didn’t have to warn me. I’d known Martha a long time. I knew before I even opened the door.
Damn.
I closed the door behind them, turned and trailed them as Martha made a bee-line to my kitchen, introducing, “This is Shirleen and Daisy, they’re friends of Elvira and Gwen’s.
Gwen met Shirleen during her thingamabob and with Shirleen came Daisy and with Gwen came Elvira and with Elvira comes me and now we’re all here.”
I looked to Shirleen and Daisy and greeted, “Hi guys.”
Daisy gave me a bright smile and I knew she was Daisy because she said, “Hey, I’m Daisy.”
“You’re Tessa of Tessa’s Cakes,” Shirleen (the black lady) announced like I didn’t have that information.
“Yes,” I confirmed.
“I been to your place, like, a lot. Too much. It’s important for a black woman to have booty, but not a Tessa’s Cakes booty. You owe me at least ten pounds, you get what I’m sayin’?” she stated.
“Uh… yeah,” I replied because I did but even if I didn’t, she was kind of scary of the Elvira variety so I still would have agreed.
“Only two things better in the whole world than your frosted sugar cookies with daisy sprinkles and those are pigs in a blanket and a man with a fine package. This I know as fact,”
she declared, I blinked at this unusual compliment, Daisy emitted a little giggle that sounded like bells, Elvira grinned big at me but Martha shouted.
“What the frig? ”
We all turned to her to see her glaring at the empty, ornate, milky green glass cake stand at the edge of my counter (I’d rotated).
“What?” I asked.
Her eyes cut to me and she jabbed a finger at the cake plate. “What’s that?”
I looked to the cake plate then I looked to her.
Then I answered, “That’s my fabulous, ornate, green glass cake plate.”
“It sure is fabulous,” Daisy agreed, eyeing my cake plate. “I need to get me one of those.”
But Martha’s eyes narrowed, as in went squinty, I knew what that meant so instead of thanking Daisy, I kept my focus on Martha.
“It’s empty,” she pointed out.
I looked at the cake plate then at her.
“Yeah,” I agreed unnecessarily.
She glared at me.
What on earth?
“Martha –” I started.
She cut me off to say, “We’re going shopping and, after, we’re hitting Club. We dropped by to see if you wanna go.”
No way in hell. Not that I didn’t want to spend time with her but I was shopped out.
Buying presents for Brock, his boys, his family and my personal list had beat even me, a seasoned shopper dedicated to remaining as such. I had vowed to myself (and shared with Brock, who not only approved, he also laughed his ass off when I shared it), that I had sworn off malls until March.
Therefore, I had to find a kickass nightie for his Valentine’s present online (for I might have sworn off malls but I figured online shopping didn’t count).
“I’ve sworn off malls,” I announced, saw Martha’s eyes get big and heard Elvira and Daisy suck in shocked breaths. “Christmas did me in. The bakery was crazed and having to buy presents for Brock, his boys, his family, you, all my employees, Mom, my sis and –”
“I know your network has expanded, Tess, I know, ” Martha cut me off to say.
Oh man.
There it was.
“Martha –”
“I also know my Tess never but never has an empty cake stand at her house. And my Tess could shop until she dropped as evidenced by you getting up with me at five o’clock in the morning when that travelling, discount designer shoe emporium opened up their tent at the flea market and we stood in line for four hours to get in and we tried on every single pair of shoes in our size even if we didn’t like them just in case they looked hot on when they didn’t in the box. And my Tess could get busy at the bakery but she’d pry herself away to meet for a quick lunch or pop by for a glass of wine or be home occasionally so I could pop by her place.”
“I went to that emporium,” Daisy whispered to Shirleen. “Found me three pairs of boots.
Three. It was hot.”
“Mm hmm,” Shirleen muttered back, not tearing her eyes off the action.
I said to my friend, “Martha, honey –”
She threw up her hands. “But oh no, not you. Not the new Tess. Brock’s Tess. Brock’s Tess barely has time to return a text because she’s busy with him, his boys, his family, staying over at his house, having his fancy-ass new truck in front of hers –”
I interrupted to ask, “Are you still stalking me?”
“Am I Martha Shockley, your best friend since fifth grade?” she asked back.
“Martha, things have been busy,” I snapped.
“Yeah, busy with you gettin’ a little somethin’ somethin’ from a bad boy,” she leaned in,
“liberally. You don’t have time for me but you have time to haul your kick-boxing ass to his house on average three days a week seeing as your car isn’t here or the bakery.”
Jeez, she’d totally been stalking me.
“Oo, lawdy,” Elvira muttered.
“You got that right, sugar,” Daisy matched her mutter.
I glared at Martha.
“I’m in a new relationship,” I reminded her. “It’s always intense when it’s new.”
“You’re in over your head is what you are,” Martha shot back and my torso jerked back.
“Oo, lawdy,” Elvira repeated.
“You got that right, sugar,” Daisy whispered.
“You don’t know what I’m in,” I said softly to Martha.
“No, you’re right, I don’t,” Martha agreed. “Because I never see you or talk to you.” She shook her head and crossed her arms on her chest, saying, “I never thought you, you, Tessa O’Hara, my best friend since I could remember would toss me aside for a guy, I don’t care how hot he is.”
“You exist,” Martha snapped and my eyes moved from Dolly to her.
“Hey,” I said softly.
Suffice it to say, with my life as crazy as it was, I didn’t have time for Martha except for some random texts and quick phone calls.
And suffice it to say, Martha wasn’t down with that.
She pushed in and her posse pushed in with her, Elvira giving me a wide-eyed look that spoke volumes and those volumes were that I needed to brace because Martha was on a tear.
She didn’t have to warn me. I’d known Martha a long time. I knew before I even opened the door.
Damn.
I closed the door behind them, turned and trailed them as Martha made a bee-line to my kitchen, introducing, “This is Shirleen and Daisy, they’re friends of Elvira and Gwen’s.
Gwen met Shirleen during her thingamabob and with Shirleen came Daisy and with Gwen came Elvira and with Elvira comes me and now we’re all here.”
I looked to Shirleen and Daisy and greeted, “Hi guys.”
Daisy gave me a bright smile and I knew she was Daisy because she said, “Hey, I’m Daisy.”
“You’re Tessa of Tessa’s Cakes,” Shirleen (the black lady) announced like I didn’t have that information.
“Yes,” I confirmed.
“I been to your place, like, a lot. Too much. It’s important for a black woman to have booty, but not a Tessa’s Cakes booty. You owe me at least ten pounds, you get what I’m sayin’?” she stated.
“Uh… yeah,” I replied because I did but even if I didn’t, she was kind of scary of the Elvira variety so I still would have agreed.
“Only two things better in the whole world than your frosted sugar cookies with daisy sprinkles and those are pigs in a blanket and a man with a fine package. This I know as fact,”
she declared, I blinked at this unusual compliment, Daisy emitted a little giggle that sounded like bells, Elvira grinned big at me but Martha shouted.
“What the frig? ”
We all turned to her to see her glaring at the empty, ornate, milky green glass cake stand at the edge of my counter (I’d rotated).
“What?” I asked.
Her eyes cut to me and she jabbed a finger at the cake plate. “What’s that?”
I looked to the cake plate then I looked to her.
Then I answered, “That’s my fabulous, ornate, green glass cake plate.”
“It sure is fabulous,” Daisy agreed, eyeing my cake plate. “I need to get me one of those.”
But Martha’s eyes narrowed, as in went squinty, I knew what that meant so instead of thanking Daisy, I kept my focus on Martha.
“It’s empty,” she pointed out.
I looked at the cake plate then at her.
“Yeah,” I agreed unnecessarily.
She glared at me.
What on earth?
“Martha –” I started.
She cut me off to say, “We’re going shopping and, after, we’re hitting Club. We dropped by to see if you wanna go.”
No way in hell. Not that I didn’t want to spend time with her but I was shopped out.
Buying presents for Brock, his boys, his family and my personal list had beat even me, a seasoned shopper dedicated to remaining as such. I had vowed to myself (and shared with Brock, who not only approved, he also laughed his ass off when I shared it), that I had sworn off malls until March.
Therefore, I had to find a kickass nightie for his Valentine’s present online (for I might have sworn off malls but I figured online shopping didn’t count).
“I’ve sworn off malls,” I announced, saw Martha’s eyes get big and heard Elvira and Daisy suck in shocked breaths. “Christmas did me in. The bakery was crazed and having to buy presents for Brock, his boys, his family, you, all my employees, Mom, my sis and –”
“I know your network has expanded, Tess, I know, ” Martha cut me off to say.
Oh man.
There it was.
“Martha –”
“I also know my Tess never but never has an empty cake stand at her house. And my Tess could shop until she dropped as evidenced by you getting up with me at five o’clock in the morning when that travelling, discount designer shoe emporium opened up their tent at the flea market and we stood in line for four hours to get in and we tried on every single pair of shoes in our size even if we didn’t like them just in case they looked hot on when they didn’t in the box. And my Tess could get busy at the bakery but she’d pry herself away to meet for a quick lunch or pop by for a glass of wine or be home occasionally so I could pop by her place.”
“I went to that emporium,” Daisy whispered to Shirleen. “Found me three pairs of boots.
Three. It was hot.”
“Mm hmm,” Shirleen muttered back, not tearing her eyes off the action.
I said to my friend, “Martha, honey –”
She threw up her hands. “But oh no, not you. Not the new Tess. Brock’s Tess. Brock’s Tess barely has time to return a text because she’s busy with him, his boys, his family, staying over at his house, having his fancy-ass new truck in front of hers –”
I interrupted to ask, “Are you still stalking me?”
“Am I Martha Shockley, your best friend since fifth grade?” she asked back.
“Martha, things have been busy,” I snapped.
“Yeah, busy with you gettin’ a little somethin’ somethin’ from a bad boy,” she leaned in,
“liberally. You don’t have time for me but you have time to haul your kick-boxing ass to his house on average three days a week seeing as your car isn’t here or the bakery.”
Jeez, she’d totally been stalking me.
“Oo, lawdy,” Elvira muttered.
“You got that right, sugar,” Daisy matched her mutter.
I glared at Martha.
“I’m in a new relationship,” I reminded her. “It’s always intense when it’s new.”
“You’re in over your head is what you are,” Martha shot back and my torso jerked back.
“Oo, lawdy,” Elvira repeated.
“You got that right, sugar,” Daisy whispered.
“You don’t know what I’m in,” I said softly to Martha.
“No, you’re right, I don’t,” Martha agreed. “Because I never see you or talk to you.” She shook her head and crossed her arms on her chest, saying, “I never thought you, you, Tessa O’Hara, my best friend since I could remember would toss me aside for a guy, I don’t care how hot he is.”
