Joel nodded, lip still trembling.
Brock held his son’s eyes. Then he sucked in a heavy breath.
Then he held out an arm and said gently, “Come on, buddy, I’ll walk you to your room.”
Joel nodded again, got up, muttered a, “’Night, Tess, sorry,” without looking at me and scurried out of the room.
Brock followed him without looking at me either.
I scooted into the bed, arranged the pillows behind my back, rested against them, legs crossed and I pulled the covers up to my waist. Then I noticed that my happy, cosmopolitans with the girls buzz was long gone and my other, happier, having fun with Brock buzz was way gone.
Yep, totally f**king hated Olivia McManus-soon-to-be-whatever-the-fuck.
Brock returned some time later, I straightened my back from the headboard where I was resting while contemplating vacation spots which graduated to me contemplating getaway options where we’d head when I took Brock, Joel and Rex on the run and I watched him close the door. Then I watched him walk in the room, stop, flip the phone he still held open and hit some buttons.
Then he put it to his ear and waited while I bit my lip and braced.
This was a good idea.
Olivia obviously picked up for Brock growled low, “Even for you, that was low. FYI for future, the bullshit with the phones is done. They can have ‘em during the day but the minute they enter this house, they’re turned off and confiscated. You do not enter this house. Ever.
Any f**kin’ way you can do it. And warning, Olivia, you can kiss your sons good-bye which means you can kiss any support you think you can drain outta me good-bye. You don’t get them and you don’t get a dime. You just declared war and mark this, woman, I’ll stop at nothin’ to win. You… are… fucked.”
Then he closed his phone but stood there staring at it and I knew he did this because he was struggling with the urge to throw it.
“Baby,” I called softly and his head came up.
“Just got finished explainin’ to my twelve year old boy that it is highly unlikely that his mother has lived in that house with Dade for over two years and doesn’t realize they have top notch security. Then I told him, should she be worried about intruders anyway, she should call 911 as everyone knows to call 911, they even got dogs trained to dial nine f**kin’ one f**kin one.”
Oh man.
Brock kept talking. “Then I told him, if she’s freaked, she should go to her husband. If they’re not gettin’ along and she’s freaked and forgets what to do, she should call me direct.
What she should not do, under any circumstances, is call a twelve year old kid in the middle of the f**kin’ night and scare the shit outta him. And then I had to explain why she called him which was, essentially, so she could scare the shit outta him and yank my chain. Then my kid started cryin’.”
Yep, totally hated her.
“Honey, come here,” I whispered.
He held my eyes, I watched with despair as his eyes grew conflicted then he dropped his head and looked at his feet as he lifted a hand and curled his fingers around the back of his neck.
Okay, I was wrong.
Before, I just disliked her intensely.
Now, I totally f**king hated her.
“Brock, baby, come here, ” I urged, his hand dropped and his head came up.
“I did not want this for them,” he whispered and I felt my throat clog.
“Come here,” I repeated huskily.
“Did everything I could to protect them from this shit,” he went on. “I should never have taken that cover that took me outta their lives for a whole f**kin’ year.”
I gave up, threw the covers back and went to him. I got close, wrapped my arms around him and pressed deep.
I tipped my head back when his arms curved around me and my eyes locked with his.
“She is who she is,” I said quietly. “And because she is, even if you didn’t take that cover, they would eventually learn who she is because she is who she is. You have no responsibility for her actions. You were doing your job, your job was important but it required sacrifices.
There are a lot of important jobs men and women take that require them to make that kind of sacrifice. Soldiers for one. And undercover DEA agents for another.”
“Yeah, Tess, but –”
I interrupted him. “You have to be who you are. If you’re doing something important and you believe in it, you have to do it even if that means sacrifices. You have to do it because that’s how you teach them to do the same.”
“Tess –”
I cut him off this time by giving him a squeeze.
“She’s doing this to herself. Do you think they live in fear of whatever reaction she’ll have, whatever tantrum she’ll throw and they’ll not cotton on eventually?” I asked but didn’t wait for his answer, I shook my head and gave him another squeeze. “No way, Brock. Those are your boys and they are far from stupid.”
One of his arms left me so he could curl his fingers around my neck as he whispered,
“Baby.”
“It’s your duty to teach them to be good men. You learned because you had a good mother and despite a bad father. They’ve got the opposite. You’re obligated to do this anyway but in this situation you’re all they’ve got. There is no escaping it and it wouldn’t matter what they faced in their lives, you’d still have to do it. And part of being a good man is being a strong one, doing what you believe in, standing up for yourself and the ones you love and protecting them from harm and you’re doing that. Think about what happened when you were growing up. I’m sure Fern wanted to protect you but she couldn’t, that was your life. You can’t protect them from this because it’s a part of their life. What you can do is help them understand what’s happening around them and teach them how to cope. It sucks that you had to explain to your son that his mother scared him on purpose just to f**k with you but you were right to do it.”
His fingers dug hard into my neck and his eyes flared.
Then his fingers relaxed and his head dropped so he could touch his mouth to mine.
When he lifted his head, I told him softly, “We need to talk about your talk.”
He nodded but said, “That was only a little less painful than this shit tonight.”
Not good news.
I licked my lips then pressed them together.
Then I gave him a gentle tug toward the bed and whispered, “All right, come to bed and tell me.”
Brock studied me for a minute then his fingers left my neck to slide up into my hair then down through the back of it.
Brock held his son’s eyes. Then he sucked in a heavy breath.
Then he held out an arm and said gently, “Come on, buddy, I’ll walk you to your room.”
Joel nodded again, got up, muttered a, “’Night, Tess, sorry,” without looking at me and scurried out of the room.
Brock followed him without looking at me either.
I scooted into the bed, arranged the pillows behind my back, rested against them, legs crossed and I pulled the covers up to my waist. Then I noticed that my happy, cosmopolitans with the girls buzz was long gone and my other, happier, having fun with Brock buzz was way gone.
Yep, totally f**king hated Olivia McManus-soon-to-be-whatever-the-fuck.
Brock returned some time later, I straightened my back from the headboard where I was resting while contemplating vacation spots which graduated to me contemplating getaway options where we’d head when I took Brock, Joel and Rex on the run and I watched him close the door. Then I watched him walk in the room, stop, flip the phone he still held open and hit some buttons.
Then he put it to his ear and waited while I bit my lip and braced.
This was a good idea.
Olivia obviously picked up for Brock growled low, “Even for you, that was low. FYI for future, the bullshit with the phones is done. They can have ‘em during the day but the minute they enter this house, they’re turned off and confiscated. You do not enter this house. Ever.
Any f**kin’ way you can do it. And warning, Olivia, you can kiss your sons good-bye which means you can kiss any support you think you can drain outta me good-bye. You don’t get them and you don’t get a dime. You just declared war and mark this, woman, I’ll stop at nothin’ to win. You… are… fucked.”
Then he closed his phone but stood there staring at it and I knew he did this because he was struggling with the urge to throw it.
“Baby,” I called softly and his head came up.
“Just got finished explainin’ to my twelve year old boy that it is highly unlikely that his mother has lived in that house with Dade for over two years and doesn’t realize they have top notch security. Then I told him, should she be worried about intruders anyway, she should call 911 as everyone knows to call 911, they even got dogs trained to dial nine f**kin’ one f**kin one.”
Oh man.
Brock kept talking. “Then I told him, if she’s freaked, she should go to her husband. If they’re not gettin’ along and she’s freaked and forgets what to do, she should call me direct.
What she should not do, under any circumstances, is call a twelve year old kid in the middle of the f**kin’ night and scare the shit outta him. And then I had to explain why she called him which was, essentially, so she could scare the shit outta him and yank my chain. Then my kid started cryin’.”
Yep, totally hated her.
“Honey, come here,” I whispered.
He held my eyes, I watched with despair as his eyes grew conflicted then he dropped his head and looked at his feet as he lifted a hand and curled his fingers around the back of his neck.
Okay, I was wrong.
Before, I just disliked her intensely.
Now, I totally f**king hated her.
“Brock, baby, come here, ” I urged, his hand dropped and his head came up.
“I did not want this for them,” he whispered and I felt my throat clog.
“Come here,” I repeated huskily.
“Did everything I could to protect them from this shit,” he went on. “I should never have taken that cover that took me outta their lives for a whole f**kin’ year.”
I gave up, threw the covers back and went to him. I got close, wrapped my arms around him and pressed deep.
I tipped my head back when his arms curved around me and my eyes locked with his.
“She is who she is,” I said quietly. “And because she is, even if you didn’t take that cover, they would eventually learn who she is because she is who she is. You have no responsibility for her actions. You were doing your job, your job was important but it required sacrifices.
There are a lot of important jobs men and women take that require them to make that kind of sacrifice. Soldiers for one. And undercover DEA agents for another.”
“Yeah, Tess, but –”
I interrupted him. “You have to be who you are. If you’re doing something important and you believe in it, you have to do it even if that means sacrifices. You have to do it because that’s how you teach them to do the same.”
“Tess –”
I cut him off this time by giving him a squeeze.
“She’s doing this to herself. Do you think they live in fear of whatever reaction she’ll have, whatever tantrum she’ll throw and they’ll not cotton on eventually?” I asked but didn’t wait for his answer, I shook my head and gave him another squeeze. “No way, Brock. Those are your boys and they are far from stupid.”
One of his arms left me so he could curl his fingers around my neck as he whispered,
“Baby.”
“It’s your duty to teach them to be good men. You learned because you had a good mother and despite a bad father. They’ve got the opposite. You’re obligated to do this anyway but in this situation you’re all they’ve got. There is no escaping it and it wouldn’t matter what they faced in their lives, you’d still have to do it. And part of being a good man is being a strong one, doing what you believe in, standing up for yourself and the ones you love and protecting them from harm and you’re doing that. Think about what happened when you were growing up. I’m sure Fern wanted to protect you but she couldn’t, that was your life. You can’t protect them from this because it’s a part of their life. What you can do is help them understand what’s happening around them and teach them how to cope. It sucks that you had to explain to your son that his mother scared him on purpose just to f**k with you but you were right to do it.”
His fingers dug hard into my neck and his eyes flared.
Then his fingers relaxed and his head dropped so he could touch his mouth to mine.
When he lifted his head, I told him softly, “We need to talk about your talk.”
He nodded but said, “That was only a little less painful than this shit tonight.”
Not good news.
I licked my lips then pressed them together.
Then I gave him a gentle tug toward the bed and whispered, “All right, come to bed and tell me.”
Brock studied me for a minute then his fingers left my neck to slide up into my hair then down through the back of it.
