Wings of the Wicked
Page 58

He frowned, dropping his head and looking up at me through his lashes. “Then what do I need to do?”
I bit down on the inside of my cheek as my chest tightened and I tried not to cry. “If I knew that, I would have ordered you to do it already.”
He smiled that beautiful smile of his, and I almost let out a sob. I wanted him to tuck my hair behind my ear like he did, hold me in his arms that way he did, kiss me like he did last night—anything but sit frozen like a statue inches from me. I loved him so much it hurt. He was so close to me, yet impossible to reach.
“It was hard for me to stand outside and wait,” he said, his voice breaking more and more. “I knew what he wanted—what he tried—to do. I waited and waited for you to wake up and pummel that guy, because I know you could’ve. I was so angry, and my fists were rolled so tight my hands were bleeding. I tried not to interfere, I really did, but then it was clear that you couldn’t get out of there on your own. I couldn’t wait anymore.”
I was biting hard on the inside of my cheek, imagining him trying to hold himself back and let me handle the situation on my own. I had been in way over my head and too drunk to save myself or even know what was going on.
He continued, looking away from me. “Before things got really bad, I was jealous. When he touched you … I wanted to kill him.”
“But if I’m not with you, then one day I’ll be in a relationship with someone else,” I said. “You won’t really have a right to be jealous.”
“Won’t I?”
“Well, we’re not together, so I can do whatever I want. Is that what Kate was yelling at you about? Because you were acting like we’re together when we weren’t?”
He stepped around the bar and sat on the stool beside me. “Do you think I want it this way?”
“Then do something about it, Will!” I shouted. “I don’t want to wait on you forever. I don’t have forever like you do. You can’t waltz in on me when I’m with a guy and throw me over your shoulder like a caveman. That’s not fair.”
“He was going to rape you!” His temper erupted and he slammed his fist down on the counter, making me jump.
I recoiled, the unbearable truth of his words stinging, and the next moment, my eyes began to burn. The memory of Brian’s hands all over me, the stink of beer on his breath suffocating me—an ill feeling flooded through me, and I swallowed hard. I’d come so close, so treacherously close. This wasn’t a joke. This wasn’t about Will overstepping his bounds or me refusing to admit I’d put myself in danger. I wasn’t invincible. And though I was the Preliator, I was still just a girl. I spent so much time fighting supernatural monsters that I didn’t realize ordinary people could hurt me too. The reality of what could have happened clawed at me, and I covered my mouth with my hand and let out a sob. Will touched my arms gently, but I stood and stepped away from him. I could still feel Brian groping me sickeningly, my skin crawling with the memory.
I wiped at my face, choking on the taste of salt in my tears. “It still … it’s not fair. What if next time I’m with a boy I like?”
“I won’t be able to bear it.”
“What will it be, Will?” I asked, my voice rising as I fought my tears. “Are you going to storm in and claim me then, too?”
His jaw and lips hardened. His fist, resting on the counter, tightened until his knuckles turned white, as if the war that waged within him grew more violent and he was trapped in silence. His brow darkened and he shook his head, his eyes flashing bright, glued to mine.
“I’ve already claimed you,” he said, and grabbed my hand. He stood and yanked me into him, and his mouth crushed against mine as his other arm wrapped around my waist. His touch erased the memory of Brian’s burning hot hands on my body, and I let Will’s presence surround me. I threw my arms up and around his shoulders and stood on my tiptoes just to get a little closer to him.
Then my heart twisted and broke. I shoved him away. “No!”
“Ellie—”
“You’re driving me insane!” I cried. “I can’t take this push and pull anymore. You kiss me and then you won’t kiss me and then you do. It’s not fair! It’s got to be one or the other, Will!”
His body locked up again, and he stared at me. After a long, agonizing minute, he spoke. “What do you want from me? Anything. It’s yours.”
My lips quivered, holding back a sob. “Do you even have to ask?”
He didn’t respond and we returned to that face-off state.
“Will,” I said breathlessly. “I just want you. Five hundred years you waited to tell me you loved me, and as soon as you do, you tell me you can’t because Michael will take you from me. Why is loving me so wrong? I don’t care what my brother said to you, and neither should you. Why do you care so much about being perfect? How could you think that you and I are so wrong?” I stepped toward him and ran my hand down the solid muscle of his arm and hooked my fingers around his. “You know how right this is, how right we are. I don’t care what I am in some other life. I was an archangel. I was Gabriel. I am Ellie now, Will. This body is human. I feel human. I don’t want you to treat me like I’m untouchable, because I’m not. I want you to touch me. I want to be yours.”
He closed his eyes and his forehead touched mine. “I’m so sorry for everything. I never wanted to hurt you or make you doubt me. I need you to trust me. I need you. And I love you. I want you. You know I do. I’ll never stop doing any of those things until the day I die for you.”