Wings of the Wicked
Page 65
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“Not for long,” Nathaniel murmured. “I don’t know how long I can hold her mind. She’s pounding at the wall with everything she’s got. I’ve never seen her this bad. Those other times, all I had to do was put her to sleep and she was back to normal when she woke up. But this …”
Will smoothed a hand over my hair, brushing it away from my face. “She’s still in there. She’ll come back.”
“We can’t let her lose it again,” Nathaniel said. “She can kill us, Will. You know this. You saw what she did to that demonic vir, and she almost killed you back at the house. I know you love her, but you have to remember that we must protect ourselves as well as her. Lauren is downstairs, terrified. We must be prepared to do anything—”
“I’ve told you what I’m willing and not willing to do,” Will said through gritted teeth.
“Sometimes there is no choice.”
“I can’t …” he breathed, trailing off. “She’s just a—”
“She’s just a what?” Nathaniel asked, cutting him off. “Just a girl? She’s not just a girl, Will. She’s an archangel. In human form. Every emotion she feels risks overloading, and then she loses herself to it. Gabriel knows and understands that if she becomes dangerous—”
“She’s not Gabriel!” Will roared, but his booming voice didn’t make me even flinch. I was too perplexed by the lines of fury on his face, the rigidness of his muscles, to really be listening to his words. I ached to hold and soothe him, but I still couldn’t move. Then he deflated, and his voice became low and faint. “She’s not Gabriel. She’s just … Ellie.”
When he said my name, I melted deeper into the bed as if his voice were a lullaby. Nathaniel was silent and Will relaxed after a few moments, his eyes returning to mine. His hand touched my face again, thumb brushing along my jaw. My eyes fluttered shut for a moment.
“We’ve got to go back and clean it up,” Nathaniel said. “We’ve got some time before anyone notices the damage in the house or the humans missing.”
“How?” Will snapped. “We can’t leave her alone. What if she wakes up while we’re not here? While Lauren’s here? We can’t leave her alone until she’s lucid.”
“That could take days. You stay with her and I’ll clean up.”
He shook his head, and I weakly shook my own, in a daze, to mimic him. “No. I won’t be able to stop her if she breaks free. You can put her under, I can’t, and I refuse to strike her. I will never hit her, Nathaniel, and I will never kill her to stop her from killing me. Not even when she loses control. You can’t ask me to do that. I can’t do it. I won’t do it. I’d give my own life before I’d ever take hers for any reason.”
A long moment passed, and I was still hypnotized by Will’s jeweled eyes. I wanted to touch him so badly, to feel him, and finally my hand twitched, fingers reaching up. His gaze fell to my hand and he swallowed hard. I was confused. There was fear in his beautiful eyes now. Why would he be afraid of me?
“She’s coming out of it,” Nathaniel said. “I’ll stay. You go clean up the scene. There is a book in my office, second shelf from the bottom. I believe page six hundred four will tell you what spell you’ll need to use. Get rid of any of the reaper blood. That includes ours. Leave only her mother’s. The scene has to look like a typical homicide. Do you understand?”
Will glared. “Yes,” he hissed. “I get it. Just keep her asleep until I return. We can try again later to bring her back. Don’t try it on your own. She will kill you.”
“Don’t worry about me. Now go.”
Will paused before he looked back down at me. The backs of his fingers brushed my temple gently, and he leaned over me, the mattress shifting beneath us. He kissed my cheek, letting his lips linger. “I love you,” he whispered as he touched his forehead to mine. “Please don’t hate me when you come back to me. I’m doing the best I can.”
Then he was gone.
My eyes snapped open. I turned my head to look around, but the beating of my pulse on the inside of my skull made me squeeze my eyes shut in pain. The pressure was so strong that I groaned and pressed my palms to my forehead.
“Ellie,” called a voice.
I opened my eyes to see Nathaniel crossing the room. He knelt by the bed. Will’s bed. I was in Will’s room, but Will wasn’t there.
“How are you feeling?”
I was puzzled by the worried look he gave me. He also looked exhausted. “Hey, Nathaniel. I feel terrible, like I’m hung over. Was I drinking?”
He shook his head, and that worry spun into sadness. “No. I’m glad to see you’re awake.”
I frowned up at him. “Yeah, I guess. I’m fine. My head just hurts. What am I doing here? I thought I left to go home.”
“Ellie …” His gaze drifted away.
Then I saw the blood and dust caked across my clothes and skin as if I’d bathed in it. Seeing it, I remembered why I was there, and my veins filled with ice. Images flashed through my head, each stabbing like cold metal as it hit me. My past human incarnations, feathered wings splashed with blood, winds blowing the dust of ancient cities over barren landscapes, silver blades clashing with silver blades and ripping flesh. My mother. My father. The thing that killed her killed them both. Will tried to stop me and I hurt him. He tried to pull me away from my mother’s body, and I’d nearly killed him.
Will smoothed a hand over my hair, brushing it away from my face. “She’s still in there. She’ll come back.”
“We can’t let her lose it again,” Nathaniel said. “She can kill us, Will. You know this. You saw what she did to that demonic vir, and she almost killed you back at the house. I know you love her, but you have to remember that we must protect ourselves as well as her. Lauren is downstairs, terrified. We must be prepared to do anything—”
“I’ve told you what I’m willing and not willing to do,” Will said through gritted teeth.
“Sometimes there is no choice.”
“I can’t …” he breathed, trailing off. “She’s just a—”
“She’s just a what?” Nathaniel asked, cutting him off. “Just a girl? She’s not just a girl, Will. She’s an archangel. In human form. Every emotion she feels risks overloading, and then she loses herself to it. Gabriel knows and understands that if she becomes dangerous—”
“She’s not Gabriel!” Will roared, but his booming voice didn’t make me even flinch. I was too perplexed by the lines of fury on his face, the rigidness of his muscles, to really be listening to his words. I ached to hold and soothe him, but I still couldn’t move. Then he deflated, and his voice became low and faint. “She’s not Gabriel. She’s just … Ellie.”
When he said my name, I melted deeper into the bed as if his voice were a lullaby. Nathaniel was silent and Will relaxed after a few moments, his eyes returning to mine. His hand touched my face again, thumb brushing along my jaw. My eyes fluttered shut for a moment.
“We’ve got to go back and clean it up,” Nathaniel said. “We’ve got some time before anyone notices the damage in the house or the humans missing.”
“How?” Will snapped. “We can’t leave her alone. What if she wakes up while we’re not here? While Lauren’s here? We can’t leave her alone until she’s lucid.”
“That could take days. You stay with her and I’ll clean up.”
He shook his head, and I weakly shook my own, in a daze, to mimic him. “No. I won’t be able to stop her if she breaks free. You can put her under, I can’t, and I refuse to strike her. I will never hit her, Nathaniel, and I will never kill her to stop her from killing me. Not even when she loses control. You can’t ask me to do that. I can’t do it. I won’t do it. I’d give my own life before I’d ever take hers for any reason.”
A long moment passed, and I was still hypnotized by Will’s jeweled eyes. I wanted to touch him so badly, to feel him, and finally my hand twitched, fingers reaching up. His gaze fell to my hand and he swallowed hard. I was confused. There was fear in his beautiful eyes now. Why would he be afraid of me?
“She’s coming out of it,” Nathaniel said. “I’ll stay. You go clean up the scene. There is a book in my office, second shelf from the bottom. I believe page six hundred four will tell you what spell you’ll need to use. Get rid of any of the reaper blood. That includes ours. Leave only her mother’s. The scene has to look like a typical homicide. Do you understand?”
Will glared. “Yes,” he hissed. “I get it. Just keep her asleep until I return. We can try again later to bring her back. Don’t try it on your own. She will kill you.”
“Don’t worry about me. Now go.”
Will paused before he looked back down at me. The backs of his fingers brushed my temple gently, and he leaned over me, the mattress shifting beneath us. He kissed my cheek, letting his lips linger. “I love you,” he whispered as he touched his forehead to mine. “Please don’t hate me when you come back to me. I’m doing the best I can.”
Then he was gone.
My eyes snapped open. I turned my head to look around, but the beating of my pulse on the inside of my skull made me squeeze my eyes shut in pain. The pressure was so strong that I groaned and pressed my palms to my forehead.
“Ellie,” called a voice.
I opened my eyes to see Nathaniel crossing the room. He knelt by the bed. Will’s bed. I was in Will’s room, but Will wasn’t there.
“How are you feeling?”
I was puzzled by the worried look he gave me. He also looked exhausted. “Hey, Nathaniel. I feel terrible, like I’m hung over. Was I drinking?”
He shook his head, and that worry spun into sadness. “No. I’m glad to see you’re awake.”
I frowned up at him. “Yeah, I guess. I’m fine. My head just hurts. What am I doing here? I thought I left to go home.”
“Ellie …” His gaze drifted away.
Then I saw the blood and dust caked across my clothes and skin as if I’d bathed in it. Seeing it, I remembered why I was there, and my veins filled with ice. Images flashed through my head, each stabbing like cold metal as it hit me. My past human incarnations, feathered wings splashed with blood, winds blowing the dust of ancient cities over barren landscapes, silver blades clashing with silver blades and ripping flesh. My mother. My father. The thing that killed her killed them both. Will tried to stop me and I hurt him. He tried to pull me away from my mother’s body, and I’d nearly killed him.
