Wings of the Wicked
Page 78
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I felt bad for a moment about dragging Will to my stupid high school parties—especially bowling—but maybe Nathaniel was right. Maybe it really was good for him to do something other than fight for his life—for both our lives—every single night. “He needs the distraction.”
“A moment’s peace,” Nathaniel said. “It makes a world of difference. That’s why you’re so important to him.”
I shook my head. “But this whole thing, the whole reason why his life is so terrible, it’s because of me. If he didn’t have to protect me—”
“He’d still be doing the same thing,” he said gently. “He’d still be hunting demonic reapers without you, but with you, he has a reason to be happy, a reason to want to do this. You forget that he isn’t just your Guardian because Michael gave the sword to him. Will wanted this, still wants it.”
Sometimes I did forget that. He had accepted this duty from Michael all those years ago. He wasn’t forced into it.
Nathaniel watched me carefully. “I’m the only one left alive who knew Will before he met you.”
I considered his words, realizing that Will must have felt just as alone as I did. The weight of Will and Nathaniel’s bond was more than friendship. They were family.
“I don’t mean that to seem patronizing,” Nathaniel said, a worried look in his copper eyes.
“No, not at all,” I said. “You just mean that you knew a different Will.”
“Precisely. He was much more wild back then. Reckless at times.”
I laughed. “Will? Wild? I’ll never believe it.”
“He was very fond of girls and got into a lot of trouble. He found himself in situations that weren’t …” Nathaniel trailed off as he struggled with the right word. “Let’s just say, he settled down a lot when he became your Guardian. He takes himself more seriously.”
“Too seriously sometimes,” I added. “How did you meet him?”
“I knew his mother,” he explained. “Madeleine was quite celebrated as a hunter of demonic reapers. When Will decided he’d follow in her footsteps, she instructed me to look out for him. I never knew Will’s father, though.”
“What was Madeleine like?”
“She was a formidable woman, and so much like Will in that she was very devoted to her duty, but she was also kind.” He paused and said, “There’s something I want you to know, Ellie.”
Nerves prickled in my gut, and I was afraid of what he might have to say. “Okay.”
He took a deep breath. “You understand the meaning and function of a relic, yes?”
“For the most part, yeah,” I said. “They’re objects with a magical connection to a creature from Heaven or Hell.”
“They can be anything, even something alive,” he said. “From a tree in a forest, to even a human being. And they all need a guardian, even demonic relics. Anything can have a connection to Heaven or Hell, but only the most powerful of all things are relics. Like you, Ellie.”
My head spun, and I sat more heavily into my seat. “What are you saying?”
“You are a relic, Ellie.”
“Me?”
He nodded. “Your human body, Gabriel’s vessel. The most holy of all things on Earth is you. Every relic requires a guardian. Will is yours.”
“So Will is a relic guardian. My Guardian.”
“Correct. The Guardian, the most important of all angelic guardians.”
“But you’re not a relic guardian or Guardian of me or anything, right?”
“No,” he said gently. “Not officially, but there are a few items that I keep safe. Records of our world, books of great importance. They were passed to me from my father when he was killed.”
“Then why are you involved? You don’t have to go through any of this.”
He smiled gently. “True, but Will is like my younger brother. I’ll always take care of him, and I’ll always fight by his side. That’s what you do for family and for the ones you love. That’s why I also want to protect you, Ellie. Not just because you’re the Preliator. You’re family, too.”
That hit home. The kindness of his words sank deep, tightening around my heart and rendering me unable to breathe. “Thank you, Nathaniel,” I said weakly. “You’re my family, too, but what I don’t really understand is why any of you would accept this responsibility. Why leave everything behind and dedicate your entire lives to protecting something at any cost?”
He took a deep breath. “What’s the point of eternal life if one spends it doing nothing? There is none. It’s a waste of eternity.”
I remembered what Will had said about the night Michael gave him his sword and the responsibility of being my Guardian: “He gave me purpose, some sort of resolution in my immortality, a focus. You gave me purpose.”
“There are four things you need to understand about war, Ellie,” Nathaniel began. “One, every action requires careful tactics. Two, never lose hope and fight only for what is right. Three, be brave, but you don’t have to be fearless. And four, be willing to sacrifice.”
Willing to sacrifice. Was I? How far would I have to go, how much would I have to sacrifice to win this war? What was I willing to sacrifice? Myself, my friends, my family—Will? I wouldn’t sacrifice their lives, but could I be willing to give them up in order to save them?
“A moment’s peace,” Nathaniel said. “It makes a world of difference. That’s why you’re so important to him.”
I shook my head. “But this whole thing, the whole reason why his life is so terrible, it’s because of me. If he didn’t have to protect me—”
“He’d still be doing the same thing,” he said gently. “He’d still be hunting demonic reapers without you, but with you, he has a reason to be happy, a reason to want to do this. You forget that he isn’t just your Guardian because Michael gave the sword to him. Will wanted this, still wants it.”
Sometimes I did forget that. He had accepted this duty from Michael all those years ago. He wasn’t forced into it.
Nathaniel watched me carefully. “I’m the only one left alive who knew Will before he met you.”
I considered his words, realizing that Will must have felt just as alone as I did. The weight of Will and Nathaniel’s bond was more than friendship. They were family.
“I don’t mean that to seem patronizing,” Nathaniel said, a worried look in his copper eyes.
“No, not at all,” I said. “You just mean that you knew a different Will.”
“Precisely. He was much more wild back then. Reckless at times.”
I laughed. “Will? Wild? I’ll never believe it.”
“He was very fond of girls and got into a lot of trouble. He found himself in situations that weren’t …” Nathaniel trailed off as he struggled with the right word. “Let’s just say, he settled down a lot when he became your Guardian. He takes himself more seriously.”
“Too seriously sometimes,” I added. “How did you meet him?”
“I knew his mother,” he explained. “Madeleine was quite celebrated as a hunter of demonic reapers. When Will decided he’d follow in her footsteps, she instructed me to look out for him. I never knew Will’s father, though.”
“What was Madeleine like?”
“She was a formidable woman, and so much like Will in that she was very devoted to her duty, but she was also kind.” He paused and said, “There’s something I want you to know, Ellie.”
Nerves prickled in my gut, and I was afraid of what he might have to say. “Okay.”
He took a deep breath. “You understand the meaning and function of a relic, yes?”
“For the most part, yeah,” I said. “They’re objects with a magical connection to a creature from Heaven or Hell.”
“They can be anything, even something alive,” he said. “From a tree in a forest, to even a human being. And they all need a guardian, even demonic relics. Anything can have a connection to Heaven or Hell, but only the most powerful of all things are relics. Like you, Ellie.”
My head spun, and I sat more heavily into my seat. “What are you saying?”
“You are a relic, Ellie.”
“Me?”
He nodded. “Your human body, Gabriel’s vessel. The most holy of all things on Earth is you. Every relic requires a guardian. Will is yours.”
“So Will is a relic guardian. My Guardian.”
“Correct. The Guardian, the most important of all angelic guardians.”
“But you’re not a relic guardian or Guardian of me or anything, right?”
“No,” he said gently. “Not officially, but there are a few items that I keep safe. Records of our world, books of great importance. They were passed to me from my father when he was killed.”
“Then why are you involved? You don’t have to go through any of this.”
He smiled gently. “True, but Will is like my younger brother. I’ll always take care of him, and I’ll always fight by his side. That’s what you do for family and for the ones you love. That’s why I also want to protect you, Ellie. Not just because you’re the Preliator. You’re family, too.”
That hit home. The kindness of his words sank deep, tightening around my heart and rendering me unable to breathe. “Thank you, Nathaniel,” I said weakly. “You’re my family, too, but what I don’t really understand is why any of you would accept this responsibility. Why leave everything behind and dedicate your entire lives to protecting something at any cost?”
He took a deep breath. “What’s the point of eternal life if one spends it doing nothing? There is none. It’s a waste of eternity.”
I remembered what Will had said about the night Michael gave him his sword and the responsibility of being my Guardian: “He gave me purpose, some sort of resolution in my immortality, a focus. You gave me purpose.”
“There are four things you need to understand about war, Ellie,” Nathaniel began. “One, every action requires careful tactics. Two, never lose hope and fight only for what is right. Three, be brave, but you don’t have to be fearless. And four, be willing to sacrifice.”
Willing to sacrifice. Was I? How far would I have to go, how much would I have to sacrifice to win this war? What was I willing to sacrifice? Myself, my friends, my family—Will? I wouldn’t sacrifice their lives, but could I be willing to give them up in order to save them?
