With All My Soul
Page 63
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He doesnt know what wed be willing to do to get our mom back.
Of course he does. Anything. The same thing Kaylee and Sophie would be willing to do to get their dads back. Thats what Avaris counting on.
Hell use our parents against us.
Yup. Tod nodded. Hell use us all against one another if he gets the chance.
Do you think hes found them?
No. Tod didnt hesitate. But he wants to find them almost as badly as we do.
Nash exhaled slowly. What do you think hell do with them?
There are too many possibilities to even guess at.
Tod was perfectly capable of an educated guess, but listing all the horrible ways our parents could dieor suffer for eternitywouldnt help anything.
Think hell kill them?
Maybe.
Worse?
Maybe.
For a momenta very long momentNash was silent. Then he looked up, and his next words sounded fractured with pain. Were never going to see her again. You know that, right? Shes gone. Shes dead, or shes wishing she were dead, and shell never be back.
Wood creaked as Tod lifted his very corporeal weight from my desk, and a second later he sat next to Nash on Ems bed. Im not going to let that happen.
Nash laughed, a harsh sound that carried disbelief but no real hostility. I get that you think youre all badass, with the undead thing youve got going on, but its been nearly three years. The mystique has worn off, and we all know the truth. Reapers dont save peoplethey kill people. Besides, if she dies in the Netherworld, theres nothing you can do. Nash stood, headed for the hall, walking backward, and I scurried away from the door. I appreciate what youre trying to do, but Im not the little brother anymore. You dont need to coddle me. The truth is that if Avari wants Mom dead, theres nothing either of us can do to stop that. Especially you. No offense, but you couldnt even save Kaylee, and she was in the human world. Hell, she was in your reaping zone.
A lump formed in my throat, and I pushed my bedroom door open. Foods here. Nash turned, eyes wide with surprise, but Tod looked like hed known I was there the whole time. He studied me, and I realized he was trying to figure out if I agreed with Nash. If I thought hed failed me when Id died. Sabines not back yet, I said. Do you think you could go check on her?
Tod nodded, almost reluctantly, then stood and slid one hand behind my head and into my hair. The goodbye kiss he gave melingered, and it tasted like sorrow. Be back in a few. Then he disappeared.
When he was gone, I closed the door at my back, then leaned against it. Nashs brows rose. What are you doing?
We need to talk.
He frowned. Is it opposite day? Cause I think thats my line.
I wish you could trust him as much as I trust him. I let go of the doorknob and sat on the edge of my desk, where Tod had been moments earlier. It would mean the world to him to look at you just once and not see contempt and suspicion.
Wow, seriously? I kinda thought he was lucky that Im speaking to him at all, considering...what you two did behind my back. Thats not exactly the kind of thing that inspires trust.
Granted. And we were obviously never going to be done paying for that. But you trust me?
Nash sat on my bed and thought in silence for a minute. Yeah, actually, I do.
Why?
I dont know. He shrugged. We were together for so long....
Six months. We were together for six months, about a quarter of which I spent grounded. Since neither of us had to sleep, Id actually spent more time with Tod in the month and a half wed been together than Id spent with Nash during our entire half year as a couple. But you and Tod have been brothers your whole lives. Why would you trust me but not him? Especially considering that Im responsible for everything you blame him for. I kissed him, Nash. Not the other way around. I kissed him.
I know. But... He exhaled in frustration. I understand why you would do that. I messed things up between you and me. Looking back, Im surprised it took as long as it did for you to bail on me
I didnt bail. I
He held up one hand. I know. Just let me finish. My point is that I practically pushed you toward him, so I cant really blame you for your part in this. But I never pushed him toward you. He went after you all on his own.
But he didnt, I insisted. And he wasnt going to. If I hadnt kissed him, hed probably still be watching from the sidelines, holding everything inside because hes your brother. Because he cares about you. Because he wants to protect you, even from himself.
Oh, thats such bullshit! Anger flashed behind Nashs eyes, and I saw him struggle to control it. Which meant more to me than he could possibly imagine. Im sorry, but youre wearing rose-colored glasses, Kay. You think that just because you have a heart of gold everyone else must, too, but thats not
Of course he does. Anything. The same thing Kaylee and Sophie would be willing to do to get their dads back. Thats what Avaris counting on.
Hell use our parents against us.
Yup. Tod nodded. Hell use us all against one another if he gets the chance.
Do you think hes found them?
No. Tod didnt hesitate. But he wants to find them almost as badly as we do.
Nash exhaled slowly. What do you think hell do with them?
There are too many possibilities to even guess at.
Tod was perfectly capable of an educated guess, but listing all the horrible ways our parents could dieor suffer for eternitywouldnt help anything.
Think hell kill them?
Maybe.
Worse?
Maybe.
For a momenta very long momentNash was silent. Then he looked up, and his next words sounded fractured with pain. Were never going to see her again. You know that, right? Shes gone. Shes dead, or shes wishing she were dead, and shell never be back.
Wood creaked as Tod lifted his very corporeal weight from my desk, and a second later he sat next to Nash on Ems bed. Im not going to let that happen.
Nash laughed, a harsh sound that carried disbelief but no real hostility. I get that you think youre all badass, with the undead thing youve got going on, but its been nearly three years. The mystique has worn off, and we all know the truth. Reapers dont save peoplethey kill people. Besides, if she dies in the Netherworld, theres nothing you can do. Nash stood, headed for the hall, walking backward, and I scurried away from the door. I appreciate what youre trying to do, but Im not the little brother anymore. You dont need to coddle me. The truth is that if Avari wants Mom dead, theres nothing either of us can do to stop that. Especially you. No offense, but you couldnt even save Kaylee, and she was in the human world. Hell, she was in your reaping zone.
A lump formed in my throat, and I pushed my bedroom door open. Foods here. Nash turned, eyes wide with surprise, but Tod looked like hed known I was there the whole time. He studied me, and I realized he was trying to figure out if I agreed with Nash. If I thought hed failed me when Id died. Sabines not back yet, I said. Do you think you could go check on her?
Tod nodded, almost reluctantly, then stood and slid one hand behind my head and into my hair. The goodbye kiss he gave melingered, and it tasted like sorrow. Be back in a few. Then he disappeared.
When he was gone, I closed the door at my back, then leaned against it. Nashs brows rose. What are you doing?
We need to talk.
He frowned. Is it opposite day? Cause I think thats my line.
I wish you could trust him as much as I trust him. I let go of the doorknob and sat on the edge of my desk, where Tod had been moments earlier. It would mean the world to him to look at you just once and not see contempt and suspicion.
Wow, seriously? I kinda thought he was lucky that Im speaking to him at all, considering...what you two did behind my back. Thats not exactly the kind of thing that inspires trust.
Granted. And we were obviously never going to be done paying for that. But you trust me?
Nash sat on my bed and thought in silence for a minute. Yeah, actually, I do.
Why?
I dont know. He shrugged. We were together for so long....
Six months. We were together for six months, about a quarter of which I spent grounded. Since neither of us had to sleep, Id actually spent more time with Tod in the month and a half wed been together than Id spent with Nash during our entire half year as a couple. But you and Tod have been brothers your whole lives. Why would you trust me but not him? Especially considering that Im responsible for everything you blame him for. I kissed him, Nash. Not the other way around. I kissed him.
I know. But... He exhaled in frustration. I understand why you would do that. I messed things up between you and me. Looking back, Im surprised it took as long as it did for you to bail on me
I didnt bail. I
He held up one hand. I know. Just let me finish. My point is that I practically pushed you toward him, so I cant really blame you for your part in this. But I never pushed him toward you. He went after you all on his own.
But he didnt, I insisted. And he wasnt going to. If I hadnt kissed him, hed probably still be watching from the sidelines, holding everything inside because hes your brother. Because he cares about you. Because he wants to protect you, even from himself.
Oh, thats such bullshit! Anger flashed behind Nashs eyes, and I saw him struggle to control it. Which meant more to me than he could possibly imagine. Im sorry, but youre wearing rose-colored glasses, Kay. You think that just because you have a heart of gold everyone else must, too, but thats not
