Withstanding Me
Page 29
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***
ZZ
I f**ked up. It’s been weeks since Storm, and I f**ked. Shit’s just now getting better. I’m still f**king angry at myself for slipping up. I almost lost her and our friendship, over what? A fantastic f**k? No matter how good it was, it’s not worth losing her over. My brain is on over drive now that I know I’m gonna be constantly around her because Braxxon just took off to help a buddy out. Yep, right in the middle of a f**king lockdown his ass just took off. So now, all of us brothers are on women watch duty. I don’t know what’s going on with me. Ain’t nothin I do sittin right. I snort a little coke, nope that don’t help. Drink a little whiskey, nope that definitely don’t help. What’s left for me to do to get back to who I was? Maybe f**kin? I’ve never went weeks without sex. Maybe that’s it? Maybe I need to try and rectify this shit…
Chapter 17
Storm
I’m putting away a case of tequila when Winter comes barreling into the storeroom of Club Sated.
“I’m goin nuts Storm, like f**kin nuts. It’s been three f**kin days. I just want him home already.”
I stand up straight and lean against one of racks. “He’s Braxx. Badass mofo. He’ll be back in a few days. No need to worry about him.”
I giggle, turning around to finish stocking the alcohol.
“It’s not just that. I’m ovulating, and he’s not here to get me knocked up.”
At the words knocked up, the bottle in my hands slips, shattering all over the floor.
“Storm?”
“Fuck!”
I walk over to get the dustpan and broom. We keep spares in here because a broken bottle or two happens about once a week.
“What was that about?” Winter asks slowly.
I start sweeping the wet broken glass into the dustpan and answer her question lightly. “I’m pregnant.”
“WHAT?”
I sigh, looking up from the mess I made. “I’m pregnant. We didn’t use a condom. I took a shit load of tests. All positive. I have a bun in the oven.”
“How… how do you feel about that?”
My entire body slumps using the broom as a crutch.
“Fuckin scared shitless. How f**kin cliché’, we don’t use a condom our one and only time, and here I am gonna be spitting out a baby in like eight months.”
“Does he know?”
I laugh. Of course, I f**kin laugh. Does he know? Fuck no he doesn’t know, and I don’t wanna tell him either. We just started talkin again. I’m tired of losing him. So I answer truthfully and shake my head ‘no’ as I stand and finish cleaning up my mess.
“You need to tell him.”
“Why, so he can hide from me again?” I say sarcastically as I walk the dustpan over to the storage room trash.
“No. Because he’s the damn father. That’s why. You can’t hide that shit from the man; it’s wrong on so many f**kin levels Storm. So, so f**kin wrong. Give the man the benefit of the doubt. He might surprise you.”
“You think?”
I’m surprised those are the words that come out of my mouth.
“Yep.” She smiles.
“Who's on Storm duty?” I ask, putting the broom and dustpan up.
Storm duty, Winter duty and so on, is the brothers that cover our small outings. We aren’t allowed to leave without a few brothers with us or following us.
“Tonight, going home you have Rap, Shadow, and Smokey.”
I grimace. “Smokey’s too f**kin quiet. I mean that man needs to learn to talk.”
“He does talk.” Winter laughs. “A whole lot actually, we’re just not around when he does.”
“Go tell him babe. He deserves to know.”
He does deserve to know. But does that make it easier on me? No. I’m literally already sweating thinking about how I might approach the subject. I mean, how do you go up to a one night stand and say… hey I’m pregnant with your baby, without sounding stupid?
But she’s right, like always. He’s a great father to Tatiana. He deserves to know.
“Fine. Alright. I’ll go tell him. You got the club for the rest of the night; you do know that now right?”
“Yep. Go pregos, before I change my mind.”
And so it begins.
***
I adjust the mirror in my car and playfully flip off Rap and Shadow riding behind me on their bikes. I got stuck with Smokey inside my car. His silence is maddening, and I decide to voice it too.
“Why the f**k are you so quiet?”
Calm and coolly he lifts his shades up a little so he can see my eyes. Seriously? It’s dark outside, and yet these f**kers wear their shades almost at all times.
“I’m the smart one, darlin. The smart ones sit back and analyze, quietly.” He grins, dropping his shades back in place, and he reaches out and turns on my car radio.
Wait. Is that all the conversation I get? Nope, no way!
“Why are you always assigned to me?” I ask, drawing his attention back to me. It’s a good question actually. Sniper is always with Winter, and I always have Smokey. The rest of the brothers get to mix it up, but those two are always stuck with us.
“A long term brother is assigned as you call it to everyone that has a hit.”
“So Berry…,” I trail off.
“James has her.”
Okay…
“Tatiana…”
“ZZ, obviously.” And I can tell he’s probably rollin his eyes at me under those shades.
ZZ
I f**ked up. It’s been weeks since Storm, and I f**ked. Shit’s just now getting better. I’m still f**king angry at myself for slipping up. I almost lost her and our friendship, over what? A fantastic f**k? No matter how good it was, it’s not worth losing her over. My brain is on over drive now that I know I’m gonna be constantly around her because Braxxon just took off to help a buddy out. Yep, right in the middle of a f**king lockdown his ass just took off. So now, all of us brothers are on women watch duty. I don’t know what’s going on with me. Ain’t nothin I do sittin right. I snort a little coke, nope that don’t help. Drink a little whiskey, nope that definitely don’t help. What’s left for me to do to get back to who I was? Maybe f**kin? I’ve never went weeks without sex. Maybe that’s it? Maybe I need to try and rectify this shit…
Chapter 17
Storm
I’m putting away a case of tequila when Winter comes barreling into the storeroom of Club Sated.
“I’m goin nuts Storm, like f**kin nuts. It’s been three f**kin days. I just want him home already.”
I stand up straight and lean against one of racks. “He’s Braxx. Badass mofo. He’ll be back in a few days. No need to worry about him.”
I giggle, turning around to finish stocking the alcohol.
“It’s not just that. I’m ovulating, and he’s not here to get me knocked up.”
At the words knocked up, the bottle in my hands slips, shattering all over the floor.
“Storm?”
“Fuck!”
I walk over to get the dustpan and broom. We keep spares in here because a broken bottle or two happens about once a week.
“What was that about?” Winter asks slowly.
I start sweeping the wet broken glass into the dustpan and answer her question lightly. “I’m pregnant.”
“WHAT?”
I sigh, looking up from the mess I made. “I’m pregnant. We didn’t use a condom. I took a shit load of tests. All positive. I have a bun in the oven.”
“How… how do you feel about that?”
My entire body slumps using the broom as a crutch.
“Fuckin scared shitless. How f**kin cliché’, we don’t use a condom our one and only time, and here I am gonna be spitting out a baby in like eight months.”
“Does he know?”
I laugh. Of course, I f**kin laugh. Does he know? Fuck no he doesn’t know, and I don’t wanna tell him either. We just started talkin again. I’m tired of losing him. So I answer truthfully and shake my head ‘no’ as I stand and finish cleaning up my mess.
“You need to tell him.”
“Why, so he can hide from me again?” I say sarcastically as I walk the dustpan over to the storage room trash.
“No. Because he’s the damn father. That’s why. You can’t hide that shit from the man; it’s wrong on so many f**kin levels Storm. So, so f**kin wrong. Give the man the benefit of the doubt. He might surprise you.”
“You think?”
I’m surprised those are the words that come out of my mouth.
“Yep.” She smiles.
“Who's on Storm duty?” I ask, putting the broom and dustpan up.
Storm duty, Winter duty and so on, is the brothers that cover our small outings. We aren’t allowed to leave without a few brothers with us or following us.
“Tonight, going home you have Rap, Shadow, and Smokey.”
I grimace. “Smokey’s too f**kin quiet. I mean that man needs to learn to talk.”
“He does talk.” Winter laughs. “A whole lot actually, we’re just not around when he does.”
“Go tell him babe. He deserves to know.”
He does deserve to know. But does that make it easier on me? No. I’m literally already sweating thinking about how I might approach the subject. I mean, how do you go up to a one night stand and say… hey I’m pregnant with your baby, without sounding stupid?
But she’s right, like always. He’s a great father to Tatiana. He deserves to know.
“Fine. Alright. I’ll go tell him. You got the club for the rest of the night; you do know that now right?”
“Yep. Go pregos, before I change my mind.”
And so it begins.
***
I adjust the mirror in my car and playfully flip off Rap and Shadow riding behind me on their bikes. I got stuck with Smokey inside my car. His silence is maddening, and I decide to voice it too.
“Why the f**k are you so quiet?”
Calm and coolly he lifts his shades up a little so he can see my eyes. Seriously? It’s dark outside, and yet these f**kers wear their shades almost at all times.
“I’m the smart one, darlin. The smart ones sit back and analyze, quietly.” He grins, dropping his shades back in place, and he reaches out and turns on my car radio.
Wait. Is that all the conversation I get? Nope, no way!
“Why are you always assigned to me?” I ask, drawing his attention back to me. It’s a good question actually. Sniper is always with Winter, and I always have Smokey. The rest of the brothers get to mix it up, but those two are always stuck with us.
“A long term brother is assigned as you call it to everyone that has a hit.”
“So Berry…,” I trail off.
“James has her.”
Okay…
“Tatiana…”
“ZZ, obviously.” And I can tell he’s probably rollin his eyes at me under those shades.
