“Where have you been?”
He slathered butter with garlic and shredded parmesan cheese on the bread and put it on a pan beneath the broiler before turning to her. “Trying to forget you. Licking my wounds. Not wanting to face how much I wanted you. Not wanting to face how much I needed you. I was pissed off and confused and hurt and guilty and I didn’t know what to think about any of this shit and this woman I’d only just met was already making demands that affected my entire life! I was overwhelmed.”
Stabbing the steak to turn it, she spun, furious. “Well, buster, how about me? Huh?
What about what I felt about the bond? My life was turned upside down too you know.
I’ve had a mate in the past, I know what it feels like when it’s right. But I lost him. Lucas, a man who celebrated his bond with me. A man who cherished me and loved me and wanted to be with me. He died and I had nothing but emptiness. For four years. But you.
You came inside me and it brought that back, that feeling of completeness and warmth that your mate, the partner of your soul can fill and it hurt as much as it felt good.
Because I remembered what it was to be part of something so special it’s like a fairy tale.”
She took a deep breath and put plates and silverware on the table while he pulled the bread out of the oven and the potatoes finished up. “And you know what? The first day after the arrest I felt like I’d die. I felt empty and sad and so alone. By the third day I realized something important. I’d rather live with the emptiness of the last five days than feel second best or a burden or disrespected. I get that you and I will be at cross-purposes sometimes. I think I’m at the point where I can accept it. But I can’t bear feeling off balance and not knowing what I mean to you.”
“Talk to me then! You’re the one who refused to see me.”
“Five days ago. I needed some time to think. And I called you! But you clearly weren’t as harmed by our time apart as I’d thought.” And that hurt. She breezed past him and pulled the steaks off the grill, not caring if he liked his rare or not.
He was there then, his body pressed against hers, arms wrapped around her body, heart thundering in her ears. “I was scared, all right? Scared because it wasn’t just my need to f**k you. It wasn’t me just appreciative of having you around. I felt for you. I feel for you. Fuck, I love you. I do. I don’t know how, it’s too fast. But I do and I tried to fight it because it scares me. I’ve been with someone before, someone I thought I loved and what I felt for her, even when I’d asked her to marry me, was a shadow of what I feel for you. You’re everything I think of and part of me is freaked out because a month ago I didn’t even know you.”
Relief poured through her as she turned into his embrace. “I know. It is fast and it is scary and I’m afraid you’re going to think none of this is real because of the bond. I’m afraid you’ll resent me. I’m sorry, no, I’m not sorry I found you because for me, it is real and I love you so much but I’m sorry you had no choice. If I could give that to you, even if it would kill me, I would.”
He sighed, looking into her eyes, so pretty and green, a face he’d memorized every plane of and yet, each time he saw her, he noticed something new. He couldn’t miss the emotion there even if it wasn’t rushing through him. Cade had said it was a gift, so had Josh and for a time he’d thought it was a curse he’d been trapped by but with her in his arms, her scent, the sound of her voice in his ears, he realized they were right and he’d been wrong. No matter how he’d ended up there, he was there and he loved this woman.
He knew for a certainty she loved him. The anxiety eased then as he realized he had no doubts of her love. In all the time with Sarah he’d had that worry and he’d been right to.
With every woman since he’d held part of himself back. But with her there was no holding back. It was good even as it was terrifying.
“I don’t resent you. I don’t understand the bond but I accept it. Can that be a start?”
“Of what? Where do we stand, Ben?”
“You’re my woman, Tegan. I’m your man, your mate. I want to be with you every day. I don’t want to date you, I want to share my life with you.”
“You should know female wolves are very territorial about mates. I’m very possessive.”
He smiled, feeling positively feral. “Good. Because I’ve been entertaining thoughts of hunting Josh down and running him over with my car. Repeatedly. I don’t share and from what I’ve heard about the tri-bond, I’m relieved to know you already have one from when you mated with Lucas.”
Realizing the sound he kept hearing was her stomach growling, he pushed her in the direction of the table and she started eating. His appetite was back for the first time in five days and he joined her.
“We’re going to have struggles over the cop in you and the wolf in me.”
“Yeah. Tegan, I can’t stop being who I am. I can’t stand aside and let you beat a suspect.”
She nodded. “I get that. And I can’t not beat him if he aims to harm my family.
Which means I may not tell you everything.”
He froze. “That’s not acceptable. I need to know you’re safe, Tegan.”
“How do you propose we do this then, Ben? Because I’m not going to let the next guy who stakes me out with a gun in his pocket just walk away.”
“Things would be a lot easier if you were my submissive twenty-four/seven,” he grumbled and she snorted.
He slathered butter with garlic and shredded parmesan cheese on the bread and put it on a pan beneath the broiler before turning to her. “Trying to forget you. Licking my wounds. Not wanting to face how much I wanted you. Not wanting to face how much I needed you. I was pissed off and confused and hurt and guilty and I didn’t know what to think about any of this shit and this woman I’d only just met was already making demands that affected my entire life! I was overwhelmed.”
Stabbing the steak to turn it, she spun, furious. “Well, buster, how about me? Huh?
What about what I felt about the bond? My life was turned upside down too you know.
I’ve had a mate in the past, I know what it feels like when it’s right. But I lost him. Lucas, a man who celebrated his bond with me. A man who cherished me and loved me and wanted to be with me. He died and I had nothing but emptiness. For four years. But you.
You came inside me and it brought that back, that feeling of completeness and warmth that your mate, the partner of your soul can fill and it hurt as much as it felt good.
Because I remembered what it was to be part of something so special it’s like a fairy tale.”
She took a deep breath and put plates and silverware on the table while he pulled the bread out of the oven and the potatoes finished up. “And you know what? The first day after the arrest I felt like I’d die. I felt empty and sad and so alone. By the third day I realized something important. I’d rather live with the emptiness of the last five days than feel second best or a burden or disrespected. I get that you and I will be at cross-purposes sometimes. I think I’m at the point where I can accept it. But I can’t bear feeling off balance and not knowing what I mean to you.”
“Talk to me then! You’re the one who refused to see me.”
“Five days ago. I needed some time to think. And I called you! But you clearly weren’t as harmed by our time apart as I’d thought.” And that hurt. She breezed past him and pulled the steaks off the grill, not caring if he liked his rare or not.
He was there then, his body pressed against hers, arms wrapped around her body, heart thundering in her ears. “I was scared, all right? Scared because it wasn’t just my need to f**k you. It wasn’t me just appreciative of having you around. I felt for you. I feel for you. Fuck, I love you. I do. I don’t know how, it’s too fast. But I do and I tried to fight it because it scares me. I’ve been with someone before, someone I thought I loved and what I felt for her, even when I’d asked her to marry me, was a shadow of what I feel for you. You’re everything I think of and part of me is freaked out because a month ago I didn’t even know you.”
Relief poured through her as she turned into his embrace. “I know. It is fast and it is scary and I’m afraid you’re going to think none of this is real because of the bond. I’m afraid you’ll resent me. I’m sorry, no, I’m not sorry I found you because for me, it is real and I love you so much but I’m sorry you had no choice. If I could give that to you, even if it would kill me, I would.”
He sighed, looking into her eyes, so pretty and green, a face he’d memorized every plane of and yet, each time he saw her, he noticed something new. He couldn’t miss the emotion there even if it wasn’t rushing through him. Cade had said it was a gift, so had Josh and for a time he’d thought it was a curse he’d been trapped by but with her in his arms, her scent, the sound of her voice in his ears, he realized they were right and he’d been wrong. No matter how he’d ended up there, he was there and he loved this woman.
He knew for a certainty she loved him. The anxiety eased then as he realized he had no doubts of her love. In all the time with Sarah he’d had that worry and he’d been right to.
With every woman since he’d held part of himself back. But with her there was no holding back. It was good even as it was terrifying.
“I don’t resent you. I don’t understand the bond but I accept it. Can that be a start?”
“Of what? Where do we stand, Ben?”
“You’re my woman, Tegan. I’m your man, your mate. I want to be with you every day. I don’t want to date you, I want to share my life with you.”
“You should know female wolves are very territorial about mates. I’m very possessive.”
He smiled, feeling positively feral. “Good. Because I’ve been entertaining thoughts of hunting Josh down and running him over with my car. Repeatedly. I don’t share and from what I’ve heard about the tri-bond, I’m relieved to know you already have one from when you mated with Lucas.”
Realizing the sound he kept hearing was her stomach growling, he pushed her in the direction of the table and she started eating. His appetite was back for the first time in five days and he joined her.
“We’re going to have struggles over the cop in you and the wolf in me.”
“Yeah. Tegan, I can’t stop being who I am. I can’t stand aside and let you beat a suspect.”
She nodded. “I get that. And I can’t not beat him if he aims to harm my family.
Which means I may not tell you everything.”
He froze. “That’s not acceptable. I need to know you’re safe, Tegan.”
“How do you propose we do this then, Ben? Because I’m not going to let the next guy who stakes me out with a gun in his pocket just walk away.”
“Things would be a lot easier if you were my submissive twenty-four/seven,” he grumbled and she snorted.
