Worth Forgiving
Page 23
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“So Caden seems protective of you.”
Lily forces a smile, although the mention of Caden definitely changes the mood. “That he is,” her tone tells me it’s not something she’s too happy about.
Quiet for a moment, I try to think of a tactful way to ask the question, but sometimes direct is just the fastest way to where you want to go and causes the least amount of resistance. “Are you together?” Looking her in the eye, I ask pointedly.
“No. Not anymore.”
“But you were?”
“Yes, we were.” She pauses then adds, “It’s complicated.”
“So you’re not sleeping together?”
“No!” She answers, shocked that I would ask such a question. But there’s no way in hell I would share a woman like Lily.
“So it’s not complicated then.”
“You don’t…” The dryer buzzer interrupts our conversation and Lily’s too eager to make an escape. A minute later she brings back my clothes.
“They’re dry,” she says, and I think I hear a bit of disappointment in her voice. I change in the bathroom, putting on my warm pants but realize she’s given me one of her shirts instead of mine.
“I don’t think this is going to fit me?” I emerge from the bathroom shirtless, holding her shirt up.
Lily turns around. Not answering with words, I watch as her eyes drop from my face to my body. Swallowing hard, slowly her eyes trace the length of me, stopping at the top of my unbuttoned jeans. Her lips part and with a salacious gaze, I hear a small gasp that makes me lose the little resolve to be a gentleman I have left. “Oh f**k this,” I growl, taking the two strides to reach her quickly, finding all the emotions in her eyes that I feel deep inside of me. Lust. Need. Desire. Hunger so deep, it consumes me.
Walking us two steps until her back is to the wall, I reach down and lift her up easily. Pinning her body between mine and the wall, I wrap her legs around my waist and bury my face into her neck, breathing deeply to take in her scent.
Heat pulsating wildly through my veins, I pull my head back, dig my hips deeply into her parted legs so she can feel how hard she’s affecting me and claim her mouth in a kiss.
A low moan escapes her mouth as we come up for air, both panting, our chests rising and falling in rhythm pressed firmly up against each other. “God I love that sound,” I growl, sealing my mouth back over hers before we’ve even both caught our breath.
She tastes f**king incredible. How can someone taste so damn good? Sweet and addicting, like a drug you know you shouldn’t take the first time, because there’s no going back to how you were before you had it. You need it. Want it. Crave it.
Dropping my mouth to her neck, I lick and suck, making my way to her ear where I bite down on her tender lobe. I listen to her breathing change, learning what she likes as my tongue explores every inch of what I can reach. But it’s not enough. I need more. “Jesus, what I’m gonna do to you,” I groan.
Slipping one hand behind her head and the other lifting her weight at the curve of her ass, I unpin her from against the wall and carry her over to the couch. Gently, I lay her down, her back to the soft leather, and lean over her. Her wide blue-green eyes look up at me with hooded need, but there’s something else there. Something that stops me no matter how bad I want to keep going.
“You okay, Angel?” I ask, my voice hoarse, straining to control myself.
She hesitates, “I…I shouldn’t.”
The simple two words are the equivalent of someone pouring a bucket of cold water over my head. Shit. I stand, raking my hands through my hair, taking my frustration out as I tug mindlessly at my own locks. Why the hell did I need to ruin the moment by stopping to talk, we were doing just fine without conversation.
“I’m sorry,” Lily says in a timid voice, sitting up and pulling her knees to her chest.
“Don’t be. It’s my fault. I should go.” Turning my back on her, I grab Reed’s shirt, rather than wait for her to get mine from the dryer and take off toward the door. It’s barely over my head when I reach for my shoes and walk out without looking back.
I replay the last twenty minutes over and over in my head as I make my way down the four flights to the lobby. I shouldn’t, she said, not I don’t want to. Turning around, I take the stairs back up two at a time.
Chapter 13
Lily
What the hell is wrong with me? I can’t remember ever wanting something so badly, yet I chase him out the door. And for what? Because of a bad experience getting involved, or rather getting uninvolved, with Caden? Because I feel badly for breaking it off with a man I’m not in love with? A man I’ve never wanted like I do Jax. For almost a year I’ve walked around numb, filled with an emptiness I never thought would be filled. Then a man comes along that makes me feel more alive than I ever have, and what do I do? Push him away like an idiot.
I pick up my phone to call Reed, as I always do whenever I have a problem. But half way through dialing I realize I know what he’s going to say. Screw this. I’ll figure the rest out tomorrow. Flinging open the door to my apartment, I don’t bother to put on shoes as I make my way to the stairwell, hoping I’m not too late. Just as I reach my hand forward to open the heavy door leading to the stairs, it flies open and I’m met by the most beautiful blue eyes staring down at me.
“Where are you going?” he asks, his chest heaving up and down like he just sprinted up the four long flights of stairs.
“To get you,” I whisper.
Taking a step closer to me, Jax cups my chin, sliding his thumb across my bottom lip longingly, before tilting my head up so my eyes can meet his gaze. “You said you shouldn’t. You didn’t say you didn’t want to.” He searches my eyes, waiting for something, although I’m not sure what else he needs. I’ve come after him.
“Say it,” Jax demands, lowering his face so we’re eye to eye. “Tell me you want me as much as I want you. I don’t give a shit what you should or shouldn’t do. I just need to hear you say it. Tell me you want me.”
“I do.” I breathe out, feeling relief just saying the words.
“Say it then,” Jax commands more firmly as he takes a step closer. We’re practically touching, but it isn’t enough. I want him against me, his hard body crushing against mine again.
“I want you,” I squeak out, little more than a whisper.
Lily forces a smile, although the mention of Caden definitely changes the mood. “That he is,” her tone tells me it’s not something she’s too happy about.
Quiet for a moment, I try to think of a tactful way to ask the question, but sometimes direct is just the fastest way to where you want to go and causes the least amount of resistance. “Are you together?” Looking her in the eye, I ask pointedly.
“No. Not anymore.”
“But you were?”
“Yes, we were.” She pauses then adds, “It’s complicated.”
“So you’re not sleeping together?”
“No!” She answers, shocked that I would ask such a question. But there’s no way in hell I would share a woman like Lily.
“So it’s not complicated then.”
“You don’t…” The dryer buzzer interrupts our conversation and Lily’s too eager to make an escape. A minute later she brings back my clothes.
“They’re dry,” she says, and I think I hear a bit of disappointment in her voice. I change in the bathroom, putting on my warm pants but realize she’s given me one of her shirts instead of mine.
“I don’t think this is going to fit me?” I emerge from the bathroom shirtless, holding her shirt up.
Lily turns around. Not answering with words, I watch as her eyes drop from my face to my body. Swallowing hard, slowly her eyes trace the length of me, stopping at the top of my unbuttoned jeans. Her lips part and with a salacious gaze, I hear a small gasp that makes me lose the little resolve to be a gentleman I have left. “Oh f**k this,” I growl, taking the two strides to reach her quickly, finding all the emotions in her eyes that I feel deep inside of me. Lust. Need. Desire. Hunger so deep, it consumes me.
Walking us two steps until her back is to the wall, I reach down and lift her up easily. Pinning her body between mine and the wall, I wrap her legs around my waist and bury my face into her neck, breathing deeply to take in her scent.
Heat pulsating wildly through my veins, I pull my head back, dig my hips deeply into her parted legs so she can feel how hard she’s affecting me and claim her mouth in a kiss.
A low moan escapes her mouth as we come up for air, both panting, our chests rising and falling in rhythm pressed firmly up against each other. “God I love that sound,” I growl, sealing my mouth back over hers before we’ve even both caught our breath.
She tastes f**king incredible. How can someone taste so damn good? Sweet and addicting, like a drug you know you shouldn’t take the first time, because there’s no going back to how you were before you had it. You need it. Want it. Crave it.
Dropping my mouth to her neck, I lick and suck, making my way to her ear where I bite down on her tender lobe. I listen to her breathing change, learning what she likes as my tongue explores every inch of what I can reach. But it’s not enough. I need more. “Jesus, what I’m gonna do to you,” I groan.
Slipping one hand behind her head and the other lifting her weight at the curve of her ass, I unpin her from against the wall and carry her over to the couch. Gently, I lay her down, her back to the soft leather, and lean over her. Her wide blue-green eyes look up at me with hooded need, but there’s something else there. Something that stops me no matter how bad I want to keep going.
“You okay, Angel?” I ask, my voice hoarse, straining to control myself.
She hesitates, “I…I shouldn’t.”
The simple two words are the equivalent of someone pouring a bucket of cold water over my head. Shit. I stand, raking my hands through my hair, taking my frustration out as I tug mindlessly at my own locks. Why the hell did I need to ruin the moment by stopping to talk, we were doing just fine without conversation.
“I’m sorry,” Lily says in a timid voice, sitting up and pulling her knees to her chest.
“Don’t be. It’s my fault. I should go.” Turning my back on her, I grab Reed’s shirt, rather than wait for her to get mine from the dryer and take off toward the door. It’s barely over my head when I reach for my shoes and walk out without looking back.
I replay the last twenty minutes over and over in my head as I make my way down the four flights to the lobby. I shouldn’t, she said, not I don’t want to. Turning around, I take the stairs back up two at a time.
Chapter 13
Lily
What the hell is wrong with me? I can’t remember ever wanting something so badly, yet I chase him out the door. And for what? Because of a bad experience getting involved, or rather getting uninvolved, with Caden? Because I feel badly for breaking it off with a man I’m not in love with? A man I’ve never wanted like I do Jax. For almost a year I’ve walked around numb, filled with an emptiness I never thought would be filled. Then a man comes along that makes me feel more alive than I ever have, and what do I do? Push him away like an idiot.
I pick up my phone to call Reed, as I always do whenever I have a problem. But half way through dialing I realize I know what he’s going to say. Screw this. I’ll figure the rest out tomorrow. Flinging open the door to my apartment, I don’t bother to put on shoes as I make my way to the stairwell, hoping I’m not too late. Just as I reach my hand forward to open the heavy door leading to the stairs, it flies open and I’m met by the most beautiful blue eyes staring down at me.
“Where are you going?” he asks, his chest heaving up and down like he just sprinted up the four long flights of stairs.
“To get you,” I whisper.
Taking a step closer to me, Jax cups my chin, sliding his thumb across my bottom lip longingly, before tilting my head up so my eyes can meet his gaze. “You said you shouldn’t. You didn’t say you didn’t want to.” He searches my eyes, waiting for something, although I’m not sure what else he needs. I’ve come after him.
“Say it,” Jax demands, lowering his face so we’re eye to eye. “Tell me you want me as much as I want you. I don’t give a shit what you should or shouldn’t do. I just need to hear you say it. Tell me you want me.”
“I do.” I breathe out, feeling relief just saying the words.
“Say it then,” Jax commands more firmly as he takes a step closer. We’re practically touching, but it isn’t enough. I want him against me, his hard body crushing against mine again.
“I want you,” I squeak out, little more than a whisper.
