“You’ll continue to work for Zack when you start your master’s program in the fall?” she asks.
I nod as I chew my salad. After I swallow I say, “Yes, assuming we can work out the scheduling with Ben’s schooling and Zack’s travel. I think it’s workable, and assuming Zack still wants me to continue on.”
“Well, why wouldn’t he?” she exclaims while waving her fork in the air. “I watched how you were with Ben at the game. You’re fantastic with him, and you’re bright and responsible. Delaney did a fantastic job picking you.”
My smile is wan and I duck my head to spear a chunk of ham out of my salad.
“What?” Sutton asks, noticing my avoidance of the subject. “Did something happen?”
I lay my fork down, ham forgotten, and quickly take a sip of my iced tea. Pushing my plate away, I lean my forearms on the table and decide to get her take on what happened. “So, something happened last week and I don’t know what to do about it.”
Sutton’s eyes go deep with worry and she lays her own fork down and leans in closer to me.
“When we left the game last week, we were driving and Ben wanted a toy that was in the backseat. I didn’t think anything of it, so I undid my seat belt to reach for it, and Zack went sort of berserk. He yelled at me…I mean really yelled for me to get back in my seat and put my seat belt on. It really upset Ben, who started crying. And then…Zack just sort of spaced out. He pulled the car carefully off the road and put it in park, and was just sort of…absent for a few moments.”
“Jesus,” Sutton whispers.
“I know,” I murmur, my finger tracing the edge of my plate as I remember how scared I was in that moment. “I don’t know what happened in the accident…but I’m guessing…Gina didn’t have her seat belt on, did she?”
Sutton gives a sad shake of her head. “No, she didn’t. She was ejected from the vehicle. She had a really severe head injury. They say she died quickly.”
“I feel terrible, Sutton,” I practically whine. “I was so insensitive. And Zack has been really distant with me since then. You don’t think I caused some major damage to him, do you? What if he hates me and doesn’t want me around Ben?”
“That’s ridiculous,” she says. “Zack is the type of man that if he didn’t want you around his son, he would have tossed you immediately out of the house. And you didn’t cause damage to him. Just a bad memory recall and he’s hurt. Not by you, by the memory. Just give him time.”
“Okay,” I say, releasing a breath of relief. Sutton sounds so sure about this, and I’m going to assume she’s right. “Do you think I should try to talk to him?”
She gives a snort and picks her fork back up to attack her salad. “Talk to a man? Seriously? You don’t have much experience with them, do you?”
“Don’t you talk to Alex?” I ask with a grin.
“Of course I do,” she scoffs. “But it’s a battle half the time. And trust me, that’s a man thing.”
“So leave Zack alone?” I ask, for clarification.
“No, that’s not what I’m saying. You should do what feels right for you. If you need to get this off your chest with him, then you need that for you. I’m just saying…he’s a man. Don’t be surprised if he doesn’t open up or if he brushes your concern off.”
That’s definitely food for thought. I do think I probably need to have a conversation with him about this, because I can’t continue to walk on eggshells around him. That’s not good for me or for him, but most important, kids are pretty savvy, and it won’t take long for Ben to realize that we’ve lost the easy partnership we had been nicely developing. I don’t want him confused by that.
“Can I ask you something personal?” Sutton asks hesitantly, and my eyes snap up to hers.
“Sure,” I say easily. I don’t have anything to hide.
“Is there something going on between you and Zack?”
I blink at her, completely confused. “What do you mean?”
“I mean…is there a personal connection you two have?”
“Well, yeah…I mean, we had sort of lapsed into an easygoing relationship style when it came to how I was involved with Ben, and making sure that Zack spends as much time with him as I do. He seems to have accepted my goofy charm,” I say with a chuckle as I spear more salad.
Sutton shakes her head. “No, that’s not what I mean. I mean…is there something deeper?”
I shake my head at her, not quite understanding what she’s asking. “We’re friends, sure, but it’s not like we’re spilling our secrets to each other. We pretty much focus on Ben.”
Taking in a frustrated breath, Sutton lets it out and blurts, “No…I mean…are you two having sex?”
“What?” I practically screech, and people from the tables beside us turn to look at me. Leaning in across the table, I whisper harshly, “Why would you ever ask that?”
“I don’t know,” Sutton whispers back apologetically. “It’s just…Zack couldn’t keep his eyes off you at the game. You didn’t notice because you were actually watching the game, but I’d catch him checking you out. It’s almost like he was trying to figure out something about you. He seemed confused, and I was wondering if maybe you two…you know…had gotten horizontal with each other and then were in sort of an awkward phase.”
I nod as I chew my salad. After I swallow I say, “Yes, assuming we can work out the scheduling with Ben’s schooling and Zack’s travel. I think it’s workable, and assuming Zack still wants me to continue on.”
“Well, why wouldn’t he?” she exclaims while waving her fork in the air. “I watched how you were with Ben at the game. You’re fantastic with him, and you’re bright and responsible. Delaney did a fantastic job picking you.”
My smile is wan and I duck my head to spear a chunk of ham out of my salad.
“What?” Sutton asks, noticing my avoidance of the subject. “Did something happen?”
I lay my fork down, ham forgotten, and quickly take a sip of my iced tea. Pushing my plate away, I lean my forearms on the table and decide to get her take on what happened. “So, something happened last week and I don’t know what to do about it.”
Sutton’s eyes go deep with worry and she lays her own fork down and leans in closer to me.
“When we left the game last week, we were driving and Ben wanted a toy that was in the backseat. I didn’t think anything of it, so I undid my seat belt to reach for it, and Zack went sort of berserk. He yelled at me…I mean really yelled for me to get back in my seat and put my seat belt on. It really upset Ben, who started crying. And then…Zack just sort of spaced out. He pulled the car carefully off the road and put it in park, and was just sort of…absent for a few moments.”
“Jesus,” Sutton whispers.
“I know,” I murmur, my finger tracing the edge of my plate as I remember how scared I was in that moment. “I don’t know what happened in the accident…but I’m guessing…Gina didn’t have her seat belt on, did she?”
Sutton gives a sad shake of her head. “No, she didn’t. She was ejected from the vehicle. She had a really severe head injury. They say she died quickly.”
“I feel terrible, Sutton,” I practically whine. “I was so insensitive. And Zack has been really distant with me since then. You don’t think I caused some major damage to him, do you? What if he hates me and doesn’t want me around Ben?”
“That’s ridiculous,” she says. “Zack is the type of man that if he didn’t want you around his son, he would have tossed you immediately out of the house. And you didn’t cause damage to him. Just a bad memory recall and he’s hurt. Not by you, by the memory. Just give him time.”
“Okay,” I say, releasing a breath of relief. Sutton sounds so sure about this, and I’m going to assume she’s right. “Do you think I should try to talk to him?”
She gives a snort and picks her fork back up to attack her salad. “Talk to a man? Seriously? You don’t have much experience with them, do you?”
“Don’t you talk to Alex?” I ask with a grin.
“Of course I do,” she scoffs. “But it’s a battle half the time. And trust me, that’s a man thing.”
“So leave Zack alone?” I ask, for clarification.
“No, that’s not what I’m saying. You should do what feels right for you. If you need to get this off your chest with him, then you need that for you. I’m just saying…he’s a man. Don’t be surprised if he doesn’t open up or if he brushes your concern off.”
That’s definitely food for thought. I do think I probably need to have a conversation with him about this, because I can’t continue to walk on eggshells around him. That’s not good for me or for him, but most important, kids are pretty savvy, and it won’t take long for Ben to realize that we’ve lost the easy partnership we had been nicely developing. I don’t want him confused by that.
“Can I ask you something personal?” Sutton asks hesitantly, and my eyes snap up to hers.
“Sure,” I say easily. I don’t have anything to hide.
“Is there something going on between you and Zack?”
I blink at her, completely confused. “What do you mean?”
“I mean…is there a personal connection you two have?”
“Well, yeah…I mean, we had sort of lapsed into an easygoing relationship style when it came to how I was involved with Ben, and making sure that Zack spends as much time with him as I do. He seems to have accepted my goofy charm,” I say with a chuckle as I spear more salad.
Sutton shakes her head. “No, that’s not what I mean. I mean…is there something deeper?”
I shake my head at her, not quite understanding what she’s asking. “We’re friends, sure, but it’s not like we’re spilling our secrets to each other. We pretty much focus on Ben.”
Taking in a frustrated breath, Sutton lets it out and blurts, “No…I mean…are you two having sex?”
“What?” I practically screech, and people from the tables beside us turn to look at me. Leaning in across the table, I whisper harshly, “Why would you ever ask that?”
“I don’t know,” Sutton whispers back apologetically. “It’s just…Zack couldn’t keep his eyes off you at the game. You didn’t notice because you were actually watching the game, but I’d catch him checking you out. It’s almost like he was trying to figure out something about you. He seemed confused, and I was wondering if maybe you two…you know…had gotten horizontal with each other and then were in sort of an awkward phase.”
