Zane's Redemption
Page 33
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“My twenty-first birthday is in five weeks. I’m running out of time,” she pleaded, tears now rimming her eyes.
Zane tore his gaze away, not allowing himself to be swayed by her plight. This wasn’t part of his job. On the contrary: his job was clearly to keep her away from parties, booze, and men.
“I can’t help you.”
“I hate you.”
He nodded. Good. As long as she hated him, at least she wouldn’t repeat her request to take her to bed. Not that it made much of a difference anyway. Now that he’d tasted her and felt his body’s reaction to her, he would have one hell of a time keeping his hands to himself.
“I’ll take you home.”
“No!” Suddenly, the fight was back in her voice.
He glared at her. “You’re not staying here.”
She glowered back. “I’m not facing my twenty-first birthday as a virgin, so if you’re not doing it, I’ll find somebody else.”
“Over my dead body!” he snarled.
“You don’t have a say in this!”
“I’m your bodyguard, so I do!”
“You sound more like my father, and he doesn’t get a say in this either. Do you have any idea what he’s condemning me to? A life full of pain! I won’t have it!”
Zane sighed. Maybe there’d simply been a misunderstanding between Portia and her father. “Perhaps he’s not aware of the implications.”
“He admitted it! And you’re not any better than he, otherwise you’d help me!”
“Help you?” He tilted his head. “I don’t think you understand, baby girl. I’m not a gentle man; I’m not the right man to touch a virgin. When it comes to sex …” He raked his hand over his bald head. “I’m rough. I fuck hard. I only think of myself; I wouldn’t care if you liked it or not.”
Zane averted his eyes so Portia wouldn’t detect his lie. Yes, he was rough, but with her, he could care; with her, he would see that she enjoyed it. For her, he could do that. But he didn’t want her to know, because this was never going to happen. If he took Portia, he’d consume her, devour her, and then, when she wanted to leave him, he’d force her to stay with him, because he wouldn’t be able to let her go. One taste of her, and he knew that much with certainty. There was no need to tempt fate and take this any further.
“It doesn’t matter if I like it.”
He shook his head. “Don’t say that. You have no idea what you’d be missing out on.”
“Then show me,” she challenged.
Zane clenched his hands into fists. “I told you I can’t.”
Not only would he hurt her, he’d betray his boss’ and colleagues’ trust. And if he lost Scanguards, he’d lose his family. He’d be alone again, because no matter what, Portia wouldn’t stay with him. She was young, she had her whole life ahead of her; she had choices. All he was was a means to an end. Once he’d done the deed, she’d toss him aside and find somebody who was more suited for her.
When he noticed one solitary tear slide down her cheek, a dull ache spread in his gut. Before it had a chance to travel north, he grabbed her arm and dragged her from the room and out of the fraternity house. On the way back, she didn’t say a word. Only her eyes spoke to him. And he didn’t like what he heard.
He’d disappointed her.
But if he gave into her wishes, the disappointments would be much greater. For both of them. And the pain would last longer. Maybe an eternity.
Chapter Eleven
Zane slammed his front door shut and instantly heard the excited yapping of his dog. Z came running from the living room and crashed right into his feet. He bent down and picked up the hyper animal. Z immediately licked his neck.
“Hey, I wasn’t gone that long,” he whispered to the pup and rubbed his fingers over the soft fur.
“You didn’t mention you had a dog.”
Zane looked to the door of the living room where Quinn leaned casually against the doorjamb. Even though Quinn was about a century older than Zane, he didn’t look it: his features were frozen into those of a twenty-something kid. His blond hair and hazel eyes added a boyish quality, and if he’d wanted to, he could have passed for a college freshman, given the right clothes.
Zane set the dog to the floor and straightened. “I’m not keeping him. He’s just a loaner.”
Quinn grinned. “That’s funny, cause I thought I saw a doggie door going out to the backyard. Looked pretty permanent to me.”
Zane tore his gaze away, not allowing himself to be swayed by her plight. This wasn’t part of his job. On the contrary: his job was clearly to keep her away from parties, booze, and men.
“I can’t help you.”
“I hate you.”
He nodded. Good. As long as she hated him, at least she wouldn’t repeat her request to take her to bed. Not that it made much of a difference anyway. Now that he’d tasted her and felt his body’s reaction to her, he would have one hell of a time keeping his hands to himself.
“I’ll take you home.”
“No!” Suddenly, the fight was back in her voice.
He glared at her. “You’re not staying here.”
She glowered back. “I’m not facing my twenty-first birthday as a virgin, so if you’re not doing it, I’ll find somebody else.”
“Over my dead body!” he snarled.
“You don’t have a say in this!”
“I’m your bodyguard, so I do!”
“You sound more like my father, and he doesn’t get a say in this either. Do you have any idea what he’s condemning me to? A life full of pain! I won’t have it!”
Zane sighed. Maybe there’d simply been a misunderstanding between Portia and her father. “Perhaps he’s not aware of the implications.”
“He admitted it! And you’re not any better than he, otherwise you’d help me!”
“Help you?” He tilted his head. “I don’t think you understand, baby girl. I’m not a gentle man; I’m not the right man to touch a virgin. When it comes to sex …” He raked his hand over his bald head. “I’m rough. I fuck hard. I only think of myself; I wouldn’t care if you liked it or not.”
Zane averted his eyes so Portia wouldn’t detect his lie. Yes, he was rough, but with her, he could care; with her, he would see that she enjoyed it. For her, he could do that. But he didn’t want her to know, because this was never going to happen. If he took Portia, he’d consume her, devour her, and then, when she wanted to leave him, he’d force her to stay with him, because he wouldn’t be able to let her go. One taste of her, and he knew that much with certainty. There was no need to tempt fate and take this any further.
“It doesn’t matter if I like it.”
He shook his head. “Don’t say that. You have no idea what you’d be missing out on.”
“Then show me,” she challenged.
Zane clenched his hands into fists. “I told you I can’t.”
Not only would he hurt her, he’d betray his boss’ and colleagues’ trust. And if he lost Scanguards, he’d lose his family. He’d be alone again, because no matter what, Portia wouldn’t stay with him. She was young, she had her whole life ahead of her; she had choices. All he was was a means to an end. Once he’d done the deed, she’d toss him aside and find somebody who was more suited for her.
When he noticed one solitary tear slide down her cheek, a dull ache spread in his gut. Before it had a chance to travel north, he grabbed her arm and dragged her from the room and out of the fraternity house. On the way back, she didn’t say a word. Only her eyes spoke to him. And he didn’t like what he heard.
He’d disappointed her.
But if he gave into her wishes, the disappointments would be much greater. For both of them. And the pain would last longer. Maybe an eternity.
Chapter Eleven
Zane slammed his front door shut and instantly heard the excited yapping of his dog. Z came running from the living room and crashed right into his feet. He bent down and picked up the hyper animal. Z immediately licked his neck.
“Hey, I wasn’t gone that long,” he whispered to the pup and rubbed his fingers over the soft fur.
“You didn’t mention you had a dog.”
Zane looked to the door of the living room where Quinn leaned casually against the doorjamb. Even though Quinn was about a century older than Zane, he didn’t look it: his features were frozen into those of a twenty-something kid. His blond hair and hazel eyes added a boyish quality, and if he’d wanted to, he could have passed for a college freshman, given the right clothes.
Zane set the dog to the floor and straightened. “I’m not keeping him. He’s just a loaner.”
Quinn grinned. “That’s funny, cause I thought I saw a doggie door going out to the backyard. Looked pretty permanent to me.”
