A Beautiful Mess
Page 80
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The miles zoomed by as she thought about leaving Boston. It would probably be for the best. She would leave Monday and drive until she was tired. A beach in Florida would be good that time of year.
She hit mile twenty-five and looked at her GPS watch. She was right on pace for a sub three-thirty finish. She still had some juice left in her legs, so she went for the final push, picking up her speed.
She neared the finish line and saw Alexander in the crowd, cheering her on. It warmed her heart to see him there, supporting her. But she knew it was only fleeting. She pushed harder and crossed the finish line with a final time of three hours and twenty-eight minutes. She qualified for the Boston Marathon. She knew she should be happy, but she wasn't. She didn't feel anything. She felt empty. And she knew it was because, after tomorrow, she would no longer see Alexander. And it made her heart ache. But there was no other way. She would only destroy him, too.
As she made her way through the finish line chute, she grabbed her finisher’s medal and found Alexander just outside of the runner’s area. He ran over to her, picked her up, and swung her around. “You did it!!!” he exclaimed. “I’m so proud of you, Olivia.” He put her down and kissed her full on the mouth.
Olivia pushed him away. “Gross. I’m all sweaty and salty.”
“I like you salty,” Alexander said, grabbing her hand and leading her out of the crowd. His enthusiasm was infectious and she couldn't help but smile weakly. Olivia cherished that moment. She knew it would be one of her last moments of joy.
Back on the yacht, Olivia emerged from the shower and saw Alexander sitting on the bed. “Feel better now, Love?” he asked, taking in her beautiful silhouette as she walked through the master bedroom in only a towel, her long hair dripping with water.
“Yes. Thank you,” she responded dryly.
There was something off about Olivia. Alexander had noticed it the day before. She seemed like an empty shell. No emotion. There was nothing there anymore and he didn't know what to make of it. The previous day, Olivia had said it was nerves about her upcoming marathon. But now, that was over. She had qualified for Boston. He thought she would return to her normal self, but even at the finish line, when he thought she would be thrilled for achieving her goal, she was distant. Aloof. She was empty. He could see it in her eyes. The spark was gone. He needed that back.
Olivia sat at a small reading table in the master bedroom. She could feel Alexander's eyes glued to her. She turned her head to look out the expansive windows, not wanting to look into his vibrant green eyes. The eyes that she knew she would be leaving the following day.
Everything still seemed so familiar as she watched sailboats float by. In the distance, she could faintly make out a military fort. She knew she had been there before. It was Fort Adams. She knew that. But why did she know that?
A lump formed in her throat as she thought about what it could all mean. The house yesterday. The dream. The green-eyed boy. She was losing her grasp on things. Her life was fine before Alexander walked into it on that night back in August. Since then, she slowly began to lose control of her own feelings. She had started to let him in. And she regretted that. Life was better before when she kept everyone away. And that's what she needed to do again. Keep everyone away. And get her heart back from Alexander.
After Olivia had finished brushing her hair, Alexander watched her walk back into the bathroom, throwing her long locks into a ponytail before slipping into a pair of yoga pants and tank top. He looked into her eyes through the mirror, although she was unaware of it. The emptiness was there. He hadn't seen that look since the night he first met her. At that instant, he knew she was slipping from him. There was only one way for him to regain that control he so desperately needed.
“Olivia,” he said sternly, waking Olivia from her thoughts as she finished getting ready in the bathroom. “Get out here.”
Alexander's voice was powerful. She couldn't help but obey. The past few days something had changed in Alexander and it scared Olivia. Whenever they had sex, he was gentle and sweet. The normally dominant lover was nowhere to be found. But at that moment, she needed that. She wanted to turn it all off. So that's what she did. With a blank expression on her face, she walked out of the bathroom, staring into Alexander's brilliant eyes, hooded with an emotion Olivia had never seen before. She could almost see the struggle within through those eyes.
“Come here, Olivia,” he said forcefully. She obeyed, walking over to the edge of the bed where he sat waiting for her.
The emptiness was still there in her eyes. He couldn't bear to look into the cold eyes that were void of any emotion. Getting up from the bed, he strode over to the chest of drawers.
Olivia turned around to see what he was doing.
“Face forward, Olivia,” he barked.
She obeyed again, thousands of different sensations running through her core. She liked it when he told her what to do. That she could deal with. She could turn everything off and just submit to Alexander. What she couldn't deal with was the slow, emotional sex that seemed to occur more and more lately.
As Alexander strode back behind her, she felt his body heat, the proximity overwhelming her senses. She could do this. She would do whatever he said. And then she would leave him. She knew he saw it in her eyes. The emptiness. He always was observant, knowing how she felt before she even did. At that moment, Olivia realized that Alexander thought he was losing control. And he was. This was his way of regaining that. Olivia would play the part he needed her to play. It was the least she could do. She would make him think that he had control of the situation and that she wasn't going to leave. But no matter what, she had to leave him. She would only destroy him, too. He had said that himself.
Alexander placed a blindfold over Olivia's eyes. The room was silent except for their breathing.
“Lift your arms, Olivia,” Alexander said. Olivia obeyed and Alexander quickly lifted her tank top over her head.
“Place them at your side,” he commanded.
She obeyed again, her heart racing and her breathing becoming heavy.
Alexander grabbed one hand and brought it behind her back, joining the other hand and wrapping a silk tie around her wrists, binding them together.
“Good. I like you tied up,” he whispered against her neck, causing her hair follicles to stand on end. Her body tingled in anticipation. She heard the rustling of clothes around her and could only assume that Alexander had stripped out of his tee shirt and jeans. Seconds later, she felt two strong hands on her waist. Instantly, a tongue was on her stomach, circling, sending tremors through her core.
She hit mile twenty-five and looked at her GPS watch. She was right on pace for a sub three-thirty finish. She still had some juice left in her legs, so she went for the final push, picking up her speed.
She neared the finish line and saw Alexander in the crowd, cheering her on. It warmed her heart to see him there, supporting her. But she knew it was only fleeting. She pushed harder and crossed the finish line with a final time of three hours and twenty-eight minutes. She qualified for the Boston Marathon. She knew she should be happy, but she wasn't. She didn't feel anything. She felt empty. And she knew it was because, after tomorrow, she would no longer see Alexander. And it made her heart ache. But there was no other way. She would only destroy him, too.
As she made her way through the finish line chute, she grabbed her finisher’s medal and found Alexander just outside of the runner’s area. He ran over to her, picked her up, and swung her around. “You did it!!!” he exclaimed. “I’m so proud of you, Olivia.” He put her down and kissed her full on the mouth.
Olivia pushed him away. “Gross. I’m all sweaty and salty.”
“I like you salty,” Alexander said, grabbing her hand and leading her out of the crowd. His enthusiasm was infectious and she couldn't help but smile weakly. Olivia cherished that moment. She knew it would be one of her last moments of joy.
Back on the yacht, Olivia emerged from the shower and saw Alexander sitting on the bed. “Feel better now, Love?” he asked, taking in her beautiful silhouette as she walked through the master bedroom in only a towel, her long hair dripping with water.
“Yes. Thank you,” she responded dryly.
There was something off about Olivia. Alexander had noticed it the day before. She seemed like an empty shell. No emotion. There was nothing there anymore and he didn't know what to make of it. The previous day, Olivia had said it was nerves about her upcoming marathon. But now, that was over. She had qualified for Boston. He thought she would return to her normal self, but even at the finish line, when he thought she would be thrilled for achieving her goal, she was distant. Aloof. She was empty. He could see it in her eyes. The spark was gone. He needed that back.
Olivia sat at a small reading table in the master bedroom. She could feel Alexander's eyes glued to her. She turned her head to look out the expansive windows, not wanting to look into his vibrant green eyes. The eyes that she knew she would be leaving the following day.
Everything still seemed so familiar as she watched sailboats float by. In the distance, she could faintly make out a military fort. She knew she had been there before. It was Fort Adams. She knew that. But why did she know that?
A lump formed in her throat as she thought about what it could all mean. The house yesterday. The dream. The green-eyed boy. She was losing her grasp on things. Her life was fine before Alexander walked into it on that night back in August. Since then, she slowly began to lose control of her own feelings. She had started to let him in. And she regretted that. Life was better before when she kept everyone away. And that's what she needed to do again. Keep everyone away. And get her heart back from Alexander.
After Olivia had finished brushing her hair, Alexander watched her walk back into the bathroom, throwing her long locks into a ponytail before slipping into a pair of yoga pants and tank top. He looked into her eyes through the mirror, although she was unaware of it. The emptiness was there. He hadn't seen that look since the night he first met her. At that instant, he knew she was slipping from him. There was only one way for him to regain that control he so desperately needed.
“Olivia,” he said sternly, waking Olivia from her thoughts as she finished getting ready in the bathroom. “Get out here.”
Alexander's voice was powerful. She couldn't help but obey. The past few days something had changed in Alexander and it scared Olivia. Whenever they had sex, he was gentle and sweet. The normally dominant lover was nowhere to be found. But at that moment, she needed that. She wanted to turn it all off. So that's what she did. With a blank expression on her face, she walked out of the bathroom, staring into Alexander's brilliant eyes, hooded with an emotion Olivia had never seen before. She could almost see the struggle within through those eyes.
“Come here, Olivia,” he said forcefully. She obeyed, walking over to the edge of the bed where he sat waiting for her.
The emptiness was still there in her eyes. He couldn't bear to look into the cold eyes that were void of any emotion. Getting up from the bed, he strode over to the chest of drawers.
Olivia turned around to see what he was doing.
“Face forward, Olivia,” he barked.
She obeyed again, thousands of different sensations running through her core. She liked it when he told her what to do. That she could deal with. She could turn everything off and just submit to Alexander. What she couldn't deal with was the slow, emotional sex that seemed to occur more and more lately.
As Alexander strode back behind her, she felt his body heat, the proximity overwhelming her senses. She could do this. She would do whatever he said. And then she would leave him. She knew he saw it in her eyes. The emptiness. He always was observant, knowing how she felt before she even did. At that moment, Olivia realized that Alexander thought he was losing control. And he was. This was his way of regaining that. Olivia would play the part he needed her to play. It was the least she could do. She would make him think that he had control of the situation and that she wasn't going to leave. But no matter what, she had to leave him. She would only destroy him, too. He had said that himself.
Alexander placed a blindfold over Olivia's eyes. The room was silent except for their breathing.
“Lift your arms, Olivia,” Alexander said. Olivia obeyed and Alexander quickly lifted her tank top over her head.
“Place them at your side,” he commanded.
She obeyed again, her heart racing and her breathing becoming heavy.
Alexander grabbed one hand and brought it behind her back, joining the other hand and wrapping a silk tie around her wrists, binding them together.
“Good. I like you tied up,” he whispered against her neck, causing her hair follicles to stand on end. Her body tingled in anticipation. She heard the rustling of clothes around her and could only assume that Alexander had stripped out of his tee shirt and jeans. Seconds later, she felt two strong hands on her waist. Instantly, a tongue was on her stomach, circling, sending tremors through her core.
