Amaury's Hellion
Page 77
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Nina took his large hand into hers and squeezed it. “Amaury, why are you so hard on yourself?”
“Why? Because every night I remember what I’ve done, and every night I wish I could turn back time and bring him back. Bring them both back. But I can’t. I’ve killed them both.”
She rested her head against his shoulder. “Haven’t you repented long enough? When did all this happen?”
“Over four hundred years ago.”
Nina gasped. “Even human murderers get out after thirty or forty years. You’ve been in this prison for over four hundred years.”
“And it doesn’t get any easier. Nothing has changed. My son is still dead, and I’m still his killer.”
“You were not in control of yourself. In a human court they would have called it mitigating circumstances.”
“That’s not an excuse.”
“No, but it’s the reason why it happened. You didn’t do it on purpose.”
“How would you know?”
“Because when you’re in control of yourself you don’t hurt people. You didn’t hurt me.”
Regret crept into the blue of his eyes. “I almost did.”
“The point is you didn’t. You are not a monster.”
“Since when are you the one defending vampires?”
“Since I got to know one.” She never thought she’d say such a thing and find herself in the position to defend him. A hell of a lot had changed in her world in the last three days. The pain she saw in his eyes hurt deep in her chest. Why was it that she was so affected by what he felt? Why did it hurt her so much to see him in pain?
“Nina. I’m damaged goods.”
“We all are. You’ve suffered long enough. Don’t you think it’s time you forgave yourself?”
“Forgive myself?” Amaury’s voice sounded shocked. “I can never forgive myself for what I’ve done.”
She lifted her head and looked into his eyes. “If you can’t do it for yourself, then somebody else has to. You can’t go on like this. I forgive you, Amaury.”
Twenty-four
Amaury stared at Nina, stunned, not understanding for a moment what she had said. She forgave him for what he’d done four centuries ago? No, he couldn’t accept forgiveness. He didn’t deserve it.
He tried to speak, to protest, but no words came past his dry lips. Her hands wrapped around his frame and her naked body pressed into his. She should be appalled by him, disgusted, recoiling from him. Yet she didn’t. Instead, her hands soothed him, stroked tenderly over his body and planted small kisses on his neck and shoulders.
Of their own volition, his hands pulled her closer, hugging her tightly as he eased them both back into the sheets.
“I don’t understand.” Why was his little fighter suddenly going all soft on him? He was the strong and scary vampire, the same who’d attacked her in his sleep, yet she soothed him with her touch and her tender kisses.
“You are too hard on yourself. It was an accident, a terrible accident. It’s time to let go of the guilt.”
Amaury didn’t know whether it was her words that made him feel better, or the way she said them. Or maybe it was just the way she snuggled into him, trusting him not to hurt her. But he felt calmer now, and the sadness that had overtaken him earlier had all but vanished.
He kissed her forehead, then looked into her eyes. “Who are you?” Not only did she block out the emotions bombarding his head, she seemed to understand him on a deeper level, knew what he needed when he needed it. Was it even possible?
Nina shook her head. “I’m nobody. But I recognize pain when I see it.”
And he understood. Having been raised in a foster home couldn’t have been easy. “Tell me about you and Eddie. I read in his file that you guys grew up in a foster home. Must have been hard.”
Nina closed her eyes for a moment before she spoke. “One foster home? Make that three.”
Amaury tucked her closer to his body and pulled the blanket over them. “Tell me what happened. I want to know what turned you into such a tough cookie.”
“You think I’m tough?”
He smiled. “Yes, and I mean that in a good way. I like a strong woman.”
“My parents were on their way back from their anniversary dinner.” There was a faraway look in her eyes, a look which spoke of sadness and longing. “The babysitter let me watch TV while she put Eddie to bed. That’s when the police showed up at the front door.”
“Why? Because every night I remember what I’ve done, and every night I wish I could turn back time and bring him back. Bring them both back. But I can’t. I’ve killed them both.”
She rested her head against his shoulder. “Haven’t you repented long enough? When did all this happen?”
“Over four hundred years ago.”
Nina gasped. “Even human murderers get out after thirty or forty years. You’ve been in this prison for over four hundred years.”
“And it doesn’t get any easier. Nothing has changed. My son is still dead, and I’m still his killer.”
“You were not in control of yourself. In a human court they would have called it mitigating circumstances.”
“That’s not an excuse.”
“No, but it’s the reason why it happened. You didn’t do it on purpose.”
“How would you know?”
“Because when you’re in control of yourself you don’t hurt people. You didn’t hurt me.”
Regret crept into the blue of his eyes. “I almost did.”
“The point is you didn’t. You are not a monster.”
“Since when are you the one defending vampires?”
“Since I got to know one.” She never thought she’d say such a thing and find herself in the position to defend him. A hell of a lot had changed in her world in the last three days. The pain she saw in his eyes hurt deep in her chest. Why was it that she was so affected by what he felt? Why did it hurt her so much to see him in pain?
“Nina. I’m damaged goods.”
“We all are. You’ve suffered long enough. Don’t you think it’s time you forgave yourself?”
“Forgive myself?” Amaury’s voice sounded shocked. “I can never forgive myself for what I’ve done.”
She lifted her head and looked into his eyes. “If you can’t do it for yourself, then somebody else has to. You can’t go on like this. I forgive you, Amaury.”
Twenty-four
Amaury stared at Nina, stunned, not understanding for a moment what she had said. She forgave him for what he’d done four centuries ago? No, he couldn’t accept forgiveness. He didn’t deserve it.
He tried to speak, to protest, but no words came past his dry lips. Her hands wrapped around his frame and her naked body pressed into his. She should be appalled by him, disgusted, recoiling from him. Yet she didn’t. Instead, her hands soothed him, stroked tenderly over his body and planted small kisses on his neck and shoulders.
Of their own volition, his hands pulled her closer, hugging her tightly as he eased them both back into the sheets.
“I don’t understand.” Why was his little fighter suddenly going all soft on him? He was the strong and scary vampire, the same who’d attacked her in his sleep, yet she soothed him with her touch and her tender kisses.
“You are too hard on yourself. It was an accident, a terrible accident. It’s time to let go of the guilt.”
Amaury didn’t know whether it was her words that made him feel better, or the way she said them. Or maybe it was just the way she snuggled into him, trusting him not to hurt her. But he felt calmer now, and the sadness that had overtaken him earlier had all but vanished.
He kissed her forehead, then looked into her eyes. “Who are you?” Not only did she block out the emotions bombarding his head, she seemed to understand him on a deeper level, knew what he needed when he needed it. Was it even possible?
Nina shook her head. “I’m nobody. But I recognize pain when I see it.”
And he understood. Having been raised in a foster home couldn’t have been easy. “Tell me about you and Eddie. I read in his file that you guys grew up in a foster home. Must have been hard.”
Nina closed her eyes for a moment before she spoke. “One foster home? Make that three.”
Amaury tucked her closer to his body and pulled the blanket over them. “Tell me what happened. I want to know what turned you into such a tough cookie.”
“You think I’m tough?”
He smiled. “Yes, and I mean that in a good way. I like a strong woman.”
“My parents were on their way back from their anniversary dinner.” There was a faraway look in her eyes, a look which spoke of sadness and longing. “The babysitter let me watch TV while she put Eddie to bed. That’s when the police showed up at the front door.”
