‘I’m just very tired,’ she kept saying. ‘I’ve been working very hard and I’m very tired.’
I put her to bed, but before I put her light out she said, ‘Wait Maggie, I want to talk to you.’
‘What?’ I asked defensively. She was going to tell me off again about Shay Delaney and I so wasn’t in the mood.
‘I’m going to ask Lou to marry me and have my babies.’
‘Oh. Oh. Why?’
‘Because I don’t want to see him ever again.’
45
Conchita was due to come on Monday morning, so as soon as I awoke, I began a hurried clean-up. But then she rang to say she was sick and not coming and instantly I abandoned the housework. Only to recommence it about an hour later out of boredom – Emily was still sounders and there had been no visits or calls from any of my family. So when someone knocked on the door at ten past twelve, I nearly wrenched it off its hinges, so delighted was I to have company. It was Anna.
‘Come in, come in,’ I said. ‘Tell us, did Helen come home?’
‘Yeah, about half an hour ago.’
‘Oh my God, she must have slept with Troy.’
‘She did. Do you mind?’
‘No, not a bit.’ Although Emily clearly did; what was going on there? ‘Sit down,’ I urged Anna. ‘What did she say about it?’
‘He tied her up, it was great. Um, listen, I’ve got to talk to you about something.’
‘Oh.’ I’d got a bad feeling.
‘You’ve to promise not to kill me.’
‘I promise.’ I didn’t mean it, I only said it, so she’d tell me whatever she had to tell me.
‘I’ve got a job.’
‘And?’
‘In Dublin.’
‘Good for you.’
‘In Garv’s firm.’
Ah.
‘Well, Dublin’s a small town, coincidences happen.’
‘It wasn’t a coincidence,’ she said in a little voice. ‘He got me the job.’
‘What? When?’
‘After I crashed your car – sorry, sorry, sorry! – I couldn’t find anything about insurance in your room, so I rang Garv and he told me to come over to get the stuff from him.’ She looked at me almost questioningly. ‘He was asking me how I was getting on without Shane and I told him how poxy it was and how I felt left behind by everyone and he was really, really kind.’
‘Was he?’ I was tight-lipped. So Garv managed to stop riding Truffle Woman for long enough to be nice to Anna?
‘Really kind. He said that if I’d like to get a proper job he’d try and help me – he wasn’t being, like, manipulative or anything, I promise. You know him, he’s not like that. He was just being decent. So I got my hair cut and he set up an interview.’
‘Big of him,’ I muttered. I was suddenly very bitter.
‘Yes, it was,’ she said gently. ‘That’s exactly what it was. So they’ve offered me a job in their post room.’
That Garv was being so nice to one of my family while at the same time doing the dirty on me filled me with hot fury. I had to wait for the bad feelings to pass before I could speak.
‘Congratulations.’
‘Thank you,’ she said with dignity. ‘And I’m sorry.’
‘Ah, it’s OK,’ I said, as the poisonous rage began to drain from me. ‘And if you’re really that sorry, you can do something for me.’
‘What’s that?’
‘Tell me if you fancy Ethan.’
She thought about it. ‘Kind of. But I’m not going after it. He’s too young and flaky. There’d be no future in it.’
‘It never stopped you before.’
‘I know. Well… I’m different now.’
‘Jesus Christ.’
‘People can change,’ she said, with most un-Anna-like defiance.
‘Did I hear right?’ Emily emerged from her bedroom, mascara crumbling from her lashes and her hair like a fur ball. ‘She fancies Ethan? Oh God, it’s all too much.’ Banging around the room, making coffee, she muttered something that sounded like, ‘They come over HERE.’ Bang! ‘They take our JOBS.’ Bang! ‘They steal our MEN.’ Bang! Then a violent coughing fit overtook her and she inhaled deeply on her cigarette. ‘I’m not long for this world. Thank God.’
Before I could explore her bad humour – which I was pretty sure had something to do with Troy – Mum and Helen arrived. I was dying to ask Helen all about Troy, but couldn’t with Mum there. Instead I had to make sympathetic noises as everyone compared hangover symptoms.
The atmosphere was tense. Emily was smoking heavily and saying very little, just flicking Helen narrow-eyed looks from time to time. ‘OK,’ she uncurled herself with a sigh from the sofa, ‘I’m going to call Lou.’
‘Are you really going to tell him you want to marry him and have his children?’
‘Yes,’ she said shortly. ‘If that doesn’t scare him away, I don’t know what will.’
She went into her bedroom and closed the door a little too loudly for comfort.
‘What’s up with her?’ Helen snapped. ‘Narky bitch.
‘Oh Jesus!’ She suddenly remembered something. ‘You’ll never fecking guess who rang last night for you.’
‘Who?’
‘Slimebucket. Creephead. Gobshite of the year.’ At my puzzled face she shrieked, ‘Garv! Do I have to spell it out for you?’
‘Garv rang? Here?’ I knew I sounded stupid, but I couldn’t help it.
‘Yeah. I told him you were out with ridey Shay Delaney. Even though I don’t think he’s ridey, of course, but there’s no need for Garv to know that. He sounded good and pissed off,’ she said with relish. ‘It was three o’clock in the morning in Ireland when he rang. He’s obviously having trouble sleeping. Good enough for him!’
‘What were you doing answering the phone? Didn’t Emily say we weren’t to?’
‘Red rag to a bull, I’m afraid,’ she said regretfully.
Emily came back out of her bedroom.
‘Well?’
‘He said yes,’ she said faintly. ‘Oh my God, now what am I going to do?’
I put her to bed, but before I put her light out she said, ‘Wait Maggie, I want to talk to you.’
‘What?’ I asked defensively. She was going to tell me off again about Shay Delaney and I so wasn’t in the mood.
‘I’m going to ask Lou to marry me and have my babies.’
‘Oh. Oh. Why?’
‘Because I don’t want to see him ever again.’
45
Conchita was due to come on Monday morning, so as soon as I awoke, I began a hurried clean-up. But then she rang to say she was sick and not coming and instantly I abandoned the housework. Only to recommence it about an hour later out of boredom – Emily was still sounders and there had been no visits or calls from any of my family. So when someone knocked on the door at ten past twelve, I nearly wrenched it off its hinges, so delighted was I to have company. It was Anna.
‘Come in, come in,’ I said. ‘Tell us, did Helen come home?’
‘Yeah, about half an hour ago.’
‘Oh my God, she must have slept with Troy.’
‘She did. Do you mind?’
‘No, not a bit.’ Although Emily clearly did; what was going on there? ‘Sit down,’ I urged Anna. ‘What did she say about it?’
‘He tied her up, it was great. Um, listen, I’ve got to talk to you about something.’
‘Oh.’ I’d got a bad feeling.
‘You’ve to promise not to kill me.’
‘I promise.’ I didn’t mean it, I only said it, so she’d tell me whatever she had to tell me.
‘I’ve got a job.’
‘And?’
‘In Dublin.’
‘Good for you.’
‘In Garv’s firm.’
Ah.
‘Well, Dublin’s a small town, coincidences happen.’
‘It wasn’t a coincidence,’ she said in a little voice. ‘He got me the job.’
‘What? When?’
‘After I crashed your car – sorry, sorry, sorry! – I couldn’t find anything about insurance in your room, so I rang Garv and he told me to come over to get the stuff from him.’ She looked at me almost questioningly. ‘He was asking me how I was getting on without Shane and I told him how poxy it was and how I felt left behind by everyone and he was really, really kind.’
‘Was he?’ I was tight-lipped. So Garv managed to stop riding Truffle Woman for long enough to be nice to Anna?
‘Really kind. He said that if I’d like to get a proper job he’d try and help me – he wasn’t being, like, manipulative or anything, I promise. You know him, he’s not like that. He was just being decent. So I got my hair cut and he set up an interview.’
‘Big of him,’ I muttered. I was suddenly very bitter.
‘Yes, it was,’ she said gently. ‘That’s exactly what it was. So they’ve offered me a job in their post room.’
That Garv was being so nice to one of my family while at the same time doing the dirty on me filled me with hot fury. I had to wait for the bad feelings to pass before I could speak.
‘Congratulations.’
‘Thank you,’ she said with dignity. ‘And I’m sorry.’
‘Ah, it’s OK,’ I said, as the poisonous rage began to drain from me. ‘And if you’re really that sorry, you can do something for me.’
‘What’s that?’
‘Tell me if you fancy Ethan.’
She thought about it. ‘Kind of. But I’m not going after it. He’s too young and flaky. There’d be no future in it.’
‘It never stopped you before.’
‘I know. Well… I’m different now.’
‘Jesus Christ.’
‘People can change,’ she said, with most un-Anna-like defiance.
‘Did I hear right?’ Emily emerged from her bedroom, mascara crumbling from her lashes and her hair like a fur ball. ‘She fancies Ethan? Oh God, it’s all too much.’ Banging around the room, making coffee, she muttered something that sounded like, ‘They come over HERE.’ Bang! ‘They take our JOBS.’ Bang! ‘They steal our MEN.’ Bang! Then a violent coughing fit overtook her and she inhaled deeply on her cigarette. ‘I’m not long for this world. Thank God.’
Before I could explore her bad humour – which I was pretty sure had something to do with Troy – Mum and Helen arrived. I was dying to ask Helen all about Troy, but couldn’t with Mum there. Instead I had to make sympathetic noises as everyone compared hangover symptoms.
The atmosphere was tense. Emily was smoking heavily and saying very little, just flicking Helen narrow-eyed looks from time to time. ‘OK,’ she uncurled herself with a sigh from the sofa, ‘I’m going to call Lou.’
‘Are you really going to tell him you want to marry him and have his children?’
‘Yes,’ she said shortly. ‘If that doesn’t scare him away, I don’t know what will.’
She went into her bedroom and closed the door a little too loudly for comfort.
‘What’s up with her?’ Helen snapped. ‘Narky bitch.
‘Oh Jesus!’ She suddenly remembered something. ‘You’ll never fecking guess who rang last night for you.’
‘Who?’
‘Slimebucket. Creephead. Gobshite of the year.’ At my puzzled face she shrieked, ‘Garv! Do I have to spell it out for you?’
‘Garv rang? Here?’ I knew I sounded stupid, but I couldn’t help it.
‘Yeah. I told him you were out with ridey Shay Delaney. Even though I don’t think he’s ridey, of course, but there’s no need for Garv to know that. He sounded good and pissed off,’ she said with relish. ‘It was three o’clock in the morning in Ireland when he rang. He’s obviously having trouble sleeping. Good enough for him!’
‘What were you doing answering the phone? Didn’t Emily say we weren’t to?’
‘Red rag to a bull, I’m afraid,’ she said regretfully.
Emily came back out of her bedroom.
‘Well?’
‘He said yes,’ she said faintly. ‘Oh my God, now what am I going to do?’
